Continuing conceptions and follicling ahead of Feisty, Fabulous Forty somethings

[rowingboat]

Hello world!

Rainbow, that's what we did this month ('ttc by default') . So being honest didn't really give it the full effort if that makes sense, so would be extremely lucky if I was pregnant. And yes, all thoughts of pee sticks banished, at least until later on today Thursday

rainbow and Diege the not really trying too hard months are generally the best. My focus was cheer up and learn to ski post mc and cp... I was drinking (not that I drink much anyway, sniff of a barmaid's apron and I'm quite tipsy) and wasn't avoiding caffeine, and the fall that I think cracked my rib must have been only a few days after conception! This little one is made of pretty tough stuff, or at least it seems so thus far...

Kiwi, am lurking back on the pg thread... Have been keeping an eye ever since I left it... Will head back properly soon. Keeping things quiet in RL (not easy with my mother staying for a month mid-house move - she's already raised eyebrows at me not taking ibuprofen for rib pain, leaving that awful coffee, sipping gingerly and not finishing her birthday champagne yesterday... I hope she stays quiet, just don't want her knowing for sure yet, she's a worrier), so I think I may need the pg threads just to talk everything through... It's a big secret to keep!
All being well will put off viability scan till after 8weeks, had one at 7+4 last time, saw heartbeat, reassured, still went on to mc and private sonographer later told me after 8wks there's a lot more certainty...

For now, I'm still wary of taking another test, would like to do two digi ones just to see that the levels go up over a week... But it's still almost as nerve wracking as the first one... What if it's all gone wrong etc etc. But trying to stay positive (in more ways than one!)

Due date... Probably 2nd Jan, but wasn't tracking ov dates this month. Crude LMP date would be Jan 5th but I have short cycles so that's absolute latest date but likely what they'll put on my notes unless I lie about my dates. Hopefully will get as far as private 8 wk scan, and hope I don't need GP before then so will find out accurate due date then. Might even sneak it into 2010...

And to answer your question Gum, am 41, will be 42 by the time this little one is due.

So, who's next?

Italian, quite a decision you have there, adoption can be tough, so sad that these little children will likely have been through so much. If you have the strength to do it it's a fantastic thing to do, but it's a long commitment without much of an escape route... Good luck deciding.

Hello, I'm back. Gosh I seem to have missed a lot

Italian sorry to hear about your news, perhaps you can make some little one very happy.

Diege I'm waiting (trying to wait) to test on Thursday too. Got one of the early HPTs, so its 6 days before.

Seeing as we're taking the hit-and-miss route to TTC, really shouldn't expect a BFP this month. The only charting I'm doing is via the fertilityfriend.com app on my iphone.

Still, have got butterflies in my tummy and pouncing on every slight hint of a symptom like cramps on (likely) implantation day, hunger or tiredness...

My main symptom, both with DD1 and last year's MC, of going off the coffee, hasn't shown up though.

Hi Wemakebeautifulbabies lets hope I make it through to Thursday...I will be cd 28 then, so should be a pretty certain result for me. Having said that, I didn't test pos with dd1 until 6 days after af due, so you never know.
Alba just a word of warning about the conception indicator tests. They are (as I'm sure you know) notoriously unreliable. My sister (who's a midwife) says that they are the bane of her life - people thinking they're having a mc etc when the weeks 'go backwards' when things are usually fine, with hcg varying hugely between the limits these tests set. Just don;t want you to become anxious for no reason!

Alba, that is just wonderful, a New Year baby. Congratulations.

All well here, 13+2. Just had a couple of days with no real nausea but still very tired so hoping the glowing stage is upon me. I look about 6 months pg already. That'll be the progesterone bloat. Am waiting for a call from doc tomorrow and hope she'll tell me to stop taking it as the placenta should now be well developed.

Good luck all you testers out there.

alba Please try not to do lots of those conception indicator ones. I've heard so many people say that they seem to have gone backwards from 3+ to 1-2 weeks and they get themselves all upset.

I read on one thread (who knows which, i dabble in so many) that once you are over 3 weeks the test can't cope with your levels of HGH and can appear to go down.

Also they are quite sensitive and if you used first morning pee one time and then the next time it was less concentrated you could be lead in to thinking it was all going wrong.

I think they are really good for doing the first time cos you get that magic word 'PREGNANT' and that is just wonderful to read but I would say please be careful if you're going to do another one. I don't want you to worry .

Having said all that I do remember doing another test after a week and being pleased to see it go up to 3+ so i am basically saying, "do as i say - not as i do!"

[this is 'wemakebeautifulbabies' with new name]

Is anyone else taking low-dose/delayed-release aspirin?

So convinced that's what helped with DD1. And if I'd been taking it last year, maybe wouldn't have MC'ed .

Bored my GP to tears about this and even got referred to Gyn in hosp. All of whom said, l.d.aspirin isn't needed unless I'd had 3 x MC's.

Now of course, am wondering if I should have been on the progesterone cream for the same reason.

Greetings to all and any newbies. Sorry I can?t help with all these test/sticks/creams etc, outside my experience. Likewise spells and the like are not my thing at all, so all I can do is send up a quick arrow prayer for all my 40 something chums and wish you all the best.

I must admit I feel in limbo, in and out, all at once! Can?t quite face s*x with or without intent and fancy eating a lot! Not really helpful for getting into shape!

Diege To be honest I am not sure what will happen. I still wish it would just happen naturally and my dear sis has given me the Zita West Getting pregnant naturally CD (as opposed to assisted conception one) ? so I have not totally given up.

rainbowdays Any reason why you would like fostering and not adoption, please don?t say if you don?t want to.

Had another big chat with DH about adoption verses fertility treatment. Me instigated! As ever.

Waves and choco hugs to all

doubleshot. I am taking baby aspirin along with the progesterone as my two chem prgs and the mc count as three mcs. Can you ask your doc for an anti-phospholipid test? That would indicate a need for the aspirin without having to suffer 3 mcs (a ridiculous concept I think, that I'll never really understand).

I managed to talk gynae consultant and my GP into giving me the blood tests for antiphospholipid syndrome (along with lots of other basic thyroid function, blood count and hormone tests) after just one mc, based on my age and not really having time to wait for 3 mc's... it's worth a try? (I think the consultant was feeling a little guilty that I'd had to pay for the scan to confirm I was miscarrying as NHS wanted me to wait, and I then had to pay for the ERPC, though it was covered on insurance as I was no longer pg, as NHS again had a wait for it... so was really the least he could do to let me have the blood tests given the resources I'd saved them by paying for the entire management of my mc... privately in an NHS hospital, which I'm sure is more expensive than just cost price so have added to their coffers... just the follow up scan was over £200 charged to my insurance company -- and it was much quicker and less detailed check than the 12 week scan at FMC that only costs £150 with blood tests! Can you tell I'm a bit cross about all that, I thought the NHS was there to help us in a crisis).

And why make you suffer through 3 mc's for the sake of a simple blood test? If you have sticky blood you have sticky blood and you need the aspirin. If you don't you don't -- the number of mc's you have had is not going to change that fact... grrr, they make me so cross!

Oops, that was supposed to just be a quick post. But do badger the GP and get that antiphospholipid test... mine thankfully came back all clear, but I have to say it's worth it simply to have the confidence to know that it's not something I need to worry about now.

Hippy, I was bad and took that test anyway -- pregnant 2-3. Was what I was hoping it would say and it has made me very happy this morning

Hi all,
ILGH ooo, I didn't know you were taking aspirin. Have you been taking it since you started TTC again after the MC?
Did you have the anti-phospholipid test before starting it? It's strange how people need to take aspirin, but didn't need it for previous, successful pgs, I wonder what happens in our bodies.
Can you tell I am ruminating on the aspirin thing?

Italian how did things go on the adoption/fostering discussion. My parents did a lot of fostering from when I and my brother were around 4 or 5. I loved the older children, but was not very keen on my long term foster sister who arrived when she was almost three and I was almost six. I was sooo jealous of her. I think if I had been younger or older it would have been easier. Not sure about fostering, but adoption agencies seem to prefer the adoptee to be two years younger than any existing children.
It used to be much more varied in fostering and you could have sibling groups or individuals younger or older than your existing children.

How exiting about all the test days coming up, fingers crossed for you Double and Deige hope you get the result you are both after.

Double do you change names often? I have only changed names once, not long after I joined MN, and I found it completely confusing. How do you manage it?

Where is Pollyanna? Are you out there?

Rainbow I hope the smear on Friday goes well and you have a nice nurse doing it.

Alba your mum sounds like a sleuth, do you think she will cotton on? better not start practising your labour breathing techniques or knitting bootees, she'll definitely be on to you then.

Not much to report here, but having lots of fun booking holidays for potential clnic visits, whilst not knowing if I will need them or if my cycle will be 'that' regular. Oh well have to try.
We have booked a week near Pitlochry in June - so hoping it isn't the usual June downpour. It's lovely here today, but I am always deeply suspicious of a sunny April/May as they seem to preceed three months of rain. Hopefully not.

ILGH that's very useful info, thank you, didn't know I could ask for the test. Will bug GP again.

alba you poor thing, what an awful experience. How could they make you pay for the scan? The early pregnancy unit at Queen Charlotte's last year saw me quite promptly. Perhaps you could change hospitals? Sounds like you should change your consultant in any case

Italian I've been there too with wanting to eat all the time - perhaps you could redirect that urge into running or walking or some sort of endorphin-releasing activity? A very good Gynae once told me to get superfit to increase my chances of conceiving (pre-DD1). I believe you still have a good chance of conceiving naturally. FWIW I'd be in favour of one (last?) go at the fertility treatment.

rowing no, this is the first time I've tried changing names and its making me dizzy too but I was so annoyed that I'm still on the coffee (because going off it would mean a definite "symptom" you see) that I changed my name to er... mock myself

Asprin - yep tried it no good for me. The hospital did the tests on me and said that while my tests were normal, they might be near the borderline so take low-dose asprin. I did so for the last 3 m/c's. So no magic cure for me. If I get pg again I won't be taking it this time. I am tempted with doing progesterone again, but not sure enough to put up with the big cost and no guarentee and the danger of prolonging a m/c again. So I am just going to go Au Naturelle again now I think.

Italian - As we already have 3 children, I would not want to have children older than we already have. I would love to adopt a baby, but they are few and far between. Fostering small children / babies would suit me, my grandparents were foster parents, and my mum has looked after other children (unofficially), and my best friends are foster parents. I can see myself doing this more than adopting. Does this make sense?

Rowing - it is good to have a holiday booked already, I wish I could get around to doing it!

whoops should be getting on with some housework.... will try to come back later!

alba ok i'll let you off for that one test but please be aware that when you get past 3 weeks after conception the amount of hormone can confuse the poor old test.

I am confused about this whole sticky blood thing?? What is it? Should i have asked about it??

Am totally non-plused about the whole asprin thing.

I think the prog cream is enough for now. Only problem is, the extra progesterone is not only giving me achey boobs, it's giving me trapped wind like i had in my last pregnancy and last night it gave me nausea!!!

Very hard to keep my feet on the ground and have to keep saying, "It's just the cream!!"

Afternoon all - still not gone over to the other side! Alba are you lurking there yet?
Have booked GP appointment for a week Fri (!) could have had one earlier with a locum, but I think he was the delightful chap who said when I was 44 & had missed a period 'my dear it is impossible to have a baby at your age'. Do NOT want to see him again, so going to see sympathetic lady GP who had her 2nd @42 .
Also booked early scan @Babybond next Thurs.
Diege have you held off testing yet...
Waves to all

Quick message to the gp - who said when I was 44 & had missed a period 'my dear it is impossible to have a baby at your age'.

Message from Hippy, "You sir, are an idiot." Now where is that icon of a face with it's tongue out blowing a raspberry??????

italian Sorry the decision isn't coming easy to you. I guess the really big decisions take time to reach. I'm sure you'll sort out your own mind soon. Hopefully your Dh is understanding about the 'No sex please we're unhappy' thing.

I found sex after my MC quite difficult to face - it makes sense cos it's all been happening inside your body and the two are tied in. I hope it gets better soon .

Hi all,
Ghengis that Dr sounds PERFECT - the one with the child, not the 'impossible' one. I think you should have said 'actually it is not impossible, but you are'. and flounced out.

Hippy I am laughing at your post about trapped wind where you finished with 'Very hard to keep my feet on the ground'. That is a very bad case of wind. Sorry! But thanks for making me giggle.
I reckon that progesterone is doing its job well. I always seem to have high progesterone on my day 21 tests and I get nausea post ovulation and bloatedness.
I read that the reason progesterone causes bloating is that it slows down the kidney or liver (one of the two) and makes it more difficult to process salt, so you start to retain water.
So possibly reducing salt intake could help with bloating.
Also it slows down the digestion when you are pg, which I'm sure ILGH is aware of.

Rainbow I wish it were simple for you and aspirin would help. It's difficult to not quite know why things aren't working out.
I don't know if this will be of any interest, but a lot of older ladies doing IVF have been taking DHEA, you can't buy it in the UK any more though. It is supposed to improve egg quality. I think it takes up to three months for an egg to grow in the ovary and become a follicle, so it can take a while for the quality to improve. I took DHEA, protein, Co-enzyme Q10 and an amino acid tablet in the run up to my IVF treatments with that in mind. Not that it gave me a BFP, but I did have twenty eggs from my two treatments, so it may have done something.

Hippy I always find sex difficult to face.

Ah well, out for this month Period just arrived, 3 days early, but strangely feel ok after the initial shock! I was so sure it was my month (on and off) although on paper we didn;t maximise out chances and tbh I shouldn't have expected anything. Tis amazing how the body plays tricks though!Glad I didn't test now
Sorry for the 'me' post Will try and catch up x

Sorry Diege, I'm glad to hear you are taking it so well. Next month perhaps and I agree on the early testing.
At least you have a nice week of sleep ahead of you and no worries about BDing.

Rowing I think they request a two to three year age difference as a minimum and usually your own child is the older one. I am pretty torn about it all. I am just not sure what to do.

doubleshotlatte Thanks for your thoughts on getting fit; I wish I could and I will try. The trouble with one last go is that if we go for donor eggs, unless we are able to recruit our own donor, we could be looking at a 14 month wait and I am just not sure I can cope with that. Within 14 months we might be able to adopt a young child, not a baby, but a young child.

Rainbowdays Yes, that makes sense about wanting to foster. I guess for me I don't really feel that my family is complete yet so fostering would not be an answer for me.

Hippy mantra for you, it's just the cream but one day it won't be! My hubby is fantastic. Tonight he ran home from work because I had the car, he made dinner because DD had to go to the docs and I took her, he put DD to bed and he washed up because I was too pissed off to do it. Then he fixed the loo! Or rather he is still doing it.

Diege Sorry your period arrived, hope for next month though.

DH is not keen to pursue anymore fertility treatment, although he has kindly not ruled it out. We had long thought of adoption and so now we have to decide whether we will just pursue adoption or will do nothing or will look at fertility treatment again.

I think for both of us the cost and the waiting are a huge factor, plus the disappointment of treatment not working. I am very nervous at the idea of going on another long waiting list. I am assuming if we went for another donor egg scenario the wait would be the same, 14 months. I did wonder about trying to 'recruit' my own donor but I think that would be hard and I wonder if the cost would still be the same.

Love and waves to all.

Hi girls ( I like to think of us as young). Wow,Ghengis that doc sounds like a moron.Did he get his degree from a weeties packet? It is just so silly to say such a thing.

Italian, you have probably already looked into it, and I really don't know anything about it, but are there donor options in Europe? I know a lady who went to a Norwegian clinic, but it was for donor sperm, not sure if they did eggs too, but she said they were very well priced.Gosh, if I had some spare, I'd happily send them your way, but mine are AWOL or MIA, probably not MIA as I haven't seen much "action" from them! All jokes aside, I would happily donate if I could.But I'm guessing noone would want my old eggs!

I took my LO for a walk on the beach this morning.It is a glorious autumn day, with loads of sunshine.I love this time of year.Anyway, I had more twinges and cramping down below, so I am hoping something is going on.Silly me,did a test when I got home ,"just in case", and of course it was negative.I still hold out hope that one day it will be a positive.

Deige, sorry about Af, but it sounds like you have taken it really well.

Hippy, I hope that your symptoms are also from your own progesterone kicking in.

Oh no Diege, I was so sure it was your month too...

Reality has hit this morning. Woke up feeling uncomfortable and it got increasingly bad. UTI I think, have had a string of them since MC in Feb. Feeling hot and shaky and nauseous too... Probably variously caused by the infection, real pg symptoms and fear. It suddenly came flooding back how tenuous this is and I want to cry. Resting now and off to see GP at 11am. Trying to tell myself it's all going to be fine

Alba you will be fine. Urine infections are rough at the best of times, but combined with anxiety & possible pregnancy nausea must feel unbearable xx.
Gumblossom you confused me there with your mention of autumn mornings until I realised you were in Australia .
Rowing yes, good that I have that nice week in which to relax, rest and contemplate ttc-ing again. Something nice about that. I do feel quite disappointed today actually (only natural I suppose) not that I would have expected to be successful first month (esp as attempts were disbanded mid-way through when I started to worry about section) but more because the symptoms did seem so convincing...Anyway, hardly anything to get down about, esp compared to what a lot of people on this thread have gone through
Italian What a supportive dh you have. It does sound like you have a lot to consider. Would you be able to pursue fertility treatment (if that's what you agreed) at the same time as pursuing adoption? I seem to remember my sister saying they weren't 'allowed' to do both at the same time (something about proving commitment to adoption)though how they'd know I'm not sure. I meean people fall pregnant naturally when on the waiting list for adoption don't they? Just thinking aloud, may well be different in your area.
At my desk feeling bleughh, but at least I can take my heavy duty migraine tablets today And am looking forward to watching Series 3 of the Peep Show on dvd tonight, one of the best things on the telly IMO! I've just discovered LoveFilm and to say it has changed my life is an understatement

alba hope all ok at docs. try not to stress - i know how stupid that sounds - but try a little bit - just for me pls .

diege Sorry your least favorite aunty turned up! And she was bloody early - bitch!

italian My hubbie takes days/weeks to do DIY (infact now I come to think of it - years!!) Hope you are feeling ok and that decisions will be made. I do agree that you probably can't persue both at the same time cos the Adoption people would want a firm commitment from you. I think you have a great faith and hopefully it will help you to reach the right decision.

rowing You madam are very funny!! I loved the comment about my trapped wind and keeping my feet on the ground - i hadn't looked at it like that!! hee hee

gum You have a wonderful life - you lucky begger.

Hello to everyone else, sorry if i missed you off!

thanks Hippy and Diege doc left me feeling worse, but I'm ok now all a bit farcical really... she was running late, I thought that was good, spending lots of time with patients, till I realised I was first on the list and she was simply late starting.
She was getting rather agitated at a small child having a tantrum outside (poor kid had been waiting as long as I had, no wonder she was having a tantrum!) - pretty much ignored my obvious distress - prescribed anti-b's and then I asked her to double check the blood results I'd had done (reception had told me all were fine, but talk of aspirin here did get me wondering, just wanted to check whether clearly fine, or possibly borderline).
Well, she couldn't find the results on the system. Then did, but didn't understand them. Then told me I should check with the front desk , saw my face, retracted that and said she'd talk to my usual GP and I should call her later.
Thought probably best to cut her out of the loop so called the surgery and asked if I could speak to my usual GP directly. She said that she'd get him to call me, looked at the note on the system and said it does look like the results aren't back yet. WTF... the receptionist told me over a month ago all fine. I specifically pressed her on the antiphospholipid ones back then and it was confirmed very confidently all fine.
I'm now wishing I'd got the doc to print out the results for me and I'll go figure it out myself.

I'm consoling myself now with 'what will be will be'. Not a great way to manage a pregnancy after MC, but all I have available to me really. Maybe my usual GP will be a tad more sympathetic this afternoon?? (not holding my breath)