Assisted Conception (and the bits in between) Volume 5

[Bumpless]

Thought I'd set us up a new home! kettle's on and choc tin open.

This is a lucky start to our new thread: 2 BFPs and a fantastic fertilisation rate from Dueling!

Boobs and biscuits to everyone

Thanks girls for all your support! I admit to going into rather a panic. I talked to my doc on Wednesday night when I started bleeding and he said just to wait and see what happened till Thurs lunchtime. So I was sitting in a bath at midnight in my hotel trying to calm down, with DH emailing me snippets on bleeding he'd found on MN (aww). By Thurs it seemed to have stopped so he said no need for a scan before the one planned for Monday. Of course it started up again on Thursday evening and is still going, but very light, and I haven?t been able to get hold of the doc so I might as well just wait and see now. I gather there?s nothing they can do either way apart from give you information. As things stand, maybe Mo?s still with us (till I see otherwise) so there are some advantages in not knowing! I feel weirdly fatalistic. Only odd thing is having dinner with sis this evening. She knows we went off for the DE cycle and must know we know the outcome, and has been brilliant at not asking, but it?s only fair that we tell her tonight otherwise it?ll be the elephant in the room. I can?t really say ?well we were pregnant but now we?re not sure? as that?ll destroy the evening, so maybe I?ll just say it?s a BFP but too early to celebrate, or something. Hmmmmmmmmm.

Amberc it?s a really big decision but it sounds like you?re in a very good place re already being sure you?ll love a donor child as much as your own. Your AMH is the same as mine. I know everyone?s situation is different but statistically speaking, DE is a good choice with our stats, as it raises the odds from under 5% to nearer 40%. As Italian says, you have the same rights as a biological parent and the donor waives all their rights when they make the donation. As the rules currently stand, in the UK your child would have the right to seek out the donor when they turn 18, but the donor would never be able to seek the child. Elsewhere in Europe, the donation is wholly anonymous and your child can?t get in touch when he/she is older. It?s also cheaper and as the donors usually are younger and often not shared you tend to have higher hit rates ? but that needs to be weighed up against the additional complications of travelling, and getting support at home for scans and blood tests etc. I had the same fears as you about being rejected by my child ? I think in the end it comes down to how strong a bond you can build. Blood children run away or reject their parents too, if something?s broken down in the relationship. But you?d be a brilliant mum and it wouldn?t happen to you! Good luck with the decision. Have you checked out the Donor Conception Network? They mostly seem concerned with telling the child, rather than deciding whether to proceed with DE, but might be useful. Or you might find this blog useful - I read it loads while deciding.

Dueling hurray for Pinky and Perky! And LoL to your DH and the chair ? mine?s another one who would have been just the same! Re pessaries, I?ve been told it doesn?t matter where you put them, they get absorbed either way. Bum is less messy (no walking butter dish syndrome) but I found it can lead to worse constipation / wind ? but a price worth paying IMO. Not putting anything in the front anymore in case that?s what triggered the bleeding! Well done for taking it easy ? hope you?re not going up the walls yet.

Italian I?m so pleased you?re nearly there! Not as pleased as you I expect! EC Weds ? how exciting!

LL thanks for the message and hope the gorgeous girls are still cute and happy (and occasionally letting you get a break!) you?re about to have spring in Switzerland, how lovely?

BabyB what a nightmare ? for both of you! Is it the performance anxiety that?s the main issue for him? Sorry if this is crossing a line, but would an evening or morning left alone at home with a couple of well-chosen DVDs be worth a try? (you could go shopping ) I can imagine that the pressure must be awful for him now, and maybe even having you around witnessing this struggle is turning into a problem. How frustrating for you.

Idream to your clinic for not taking more notice! You don?t want to be going into a cycle worrying about this, and of course you?re getting tired and emotional, you must be getting really run-down. They?d better be good on Tuesday! I?m sure the Easter egg improved things though

Gingerwine I?m so glad you decided to go with the cycle! Very very good luck ? and good news that you?re mustering up a little bit of excitement too! (we must get our kicks where we can, even if it?s sticking needles in ourselves and having random doctors prodding about up our whatsits every 3 days)

Welcome MrsN ! All ACers welcome on here, and we?ve had lots of IUIers at various times. Sorry to hear the drugs aren?t agreeing with you!

Waves and hugs to everyone xx

OMG Idream ! Just been round supermarket, haunted by your easter egg and cup of tea tale, and been forced to buy a Lindt chocolate bunny and eat half of it in the car on the way home... Not going to be joining Amber and Italian in the super-acheiving slimmers club any time soon!

Pleased to see you here, Bumpless, and many many sticky vibes to you. Light bleeding is really nothing to stress about. So many people have this in early pregnancy so try and look after yourself.

Good luck for EC, Italian. Hope all goes well.

And hello to everyone else.

BB, my DH has a few performance issues at times due to stress. Agree about maybe you offering him a 'helping hand' - would this be possible?

Can I join in?
I'm doing IVF. Second fresh cycle. First one many moons ago produced my lovely ds. Had two attempts at FETs in between - one ended in m/c the other got cancelled.

Gingerwine - our timings are pretty similar - my EC is pencilled in for the 8th although obviously it could change.
I did my first injections last night. Two down, about ten to go.

Bumpless - I had a lot of bleeding on and off with my pregnancy which resulted in ds. It was very stressful so you have my sympathies but things could very much still be okay - as evidenced by my experience. Hope you get some reassurance soon.

Hello everyone! I'm back from my holiday well rested and tanned (in a lovely panda sort of way) - only to launch into a momentary panic when I thought you'd all run away as soon as I was out the door! So glad I found you!

So much has happened in a week! Italian I'm so excited for you on Wednesday!!!

Bumpless I was very worried there for awhile when reading through the thread. However, I know a lot of people experience some light bleeding - in fact one friend continued to have her period pretty much throughout her pregnancy. Sending positive vibes to you and Mo. I know the wait must be awful, but try to take it easy and look after yourself.

Cerubina your comment about missing your baby made me cry. I feel exactly the same way. I'll be fine one moment and then incredibly sad the next. I feel very embarassed sometimes about being so upset since I was only pregnant for such a short time. But I also figure that he (because I'm sure it was a he) was there for 6 weeks, so in a way I'm recognising his existence by feeling sad. It would be so much sadder if I just moved on and forgot he ever existed.

Dueling great news on the ET. How's the 2ww been treating you so far?

Idream I hope you're feeling better. How frustrating that your clinic hasn't done more to calm your worries.

Amberc well done on the 7lbs!!! My Zita diet (or at least healthier eating) starts on Monday. The DH has promised to play along...

Welcome to MrsN and glad to hear you're back on the wagon Gingerwine! BabyB I'm afraid I don't have any more suggestions than those that have already been made - perhaps Ann Summers or similar could assist?

Apologies if I've left anyone out!

As for me, after a week of eating my body weight in cheese, I'm definitely ready for a healthy diet. I've been reading Zita and going to start working on my positive attitude, relaxing a bit more, and hopefully finding a local acupuncturist. Already feeling impatient for AF however, so I can have the tests I need to start my next cycle.

And as promised, I've brought you the biggest box of the finest Swiss chocolate - so pass it around and don't be shy about taking more than one...

Bumpless all best wishes for this pregnancy. I know that I can tell you that people often get spotting etc but you probably won?t be put at rest until you see that scan. Please get that scan as soon as you can then you can get your mind at rest. Having a scan is meant to help and I think you will feel better once you get this scan.

Go Mo .

As usual the arrow prayer is going up for you and please believe that it is OK, I really hope the best for you.

Amberc I only have one child, a daughter and she is not from a donor, we had IUI to have her. I am not worried that I will treat any child from a donor egg differently from our dd. I have been thinking about adoption for the past sixteen years (ever since I visited an orphanage overseas) but when I visited the orphanage I was single and was too young to think about adoption, DH and I decided to try for our ?own? child first and then once we had DD we tried for another and hit problems. We were told to look at adoption, well it was suggested by a clinic because we had no real chance with our own eggs. We looked into adoption and were told we would need to wait until DD was five , which was hard but we accepted it was not going to happen at the time. DD was less than two so I was not willing to wait three years so we embarked on lots of IUI attempts with my eggs, which produced nothing. So in once sense the clinic was right! DD is now five and if we wish to look into adoption again, we can.

I guess what I am saying is I have already thought about adoption a lot so I feel (as sure as I can) that I could bring up a child that was not biologically mine. With donor eggs I feel the child would be biologically mine (from my body) but not genetically mine.

Amberc well done for losing weight at Weight watchers, was that all in one week, wow? I was only losing 1 or 2 pounds a week when I went along regularly. I am guessing it is 7 pounds over a number of weeks, that is the best way to lose it, isn?t it, slowly.

Dear MrsNorthman welcome. Where is the name from? I?m as elegant as an Italian greyhound, hence my name (!!). We had two goes at IUI just over five years ago. One attempt with two eggs and one attempt with one egg. The second attempt with one egg produced our DD, and we got to see her at just six weeks with a scan, looking like a little snowman (or rather snowwoman) on the screen. I really hope you get your own little snowperson to look at in about six week?s time.

gleegeekgleek welcome, all the very best with your treatment.

MM and Cerubina have you thought of doing something like planting a tree in memory of your little one(s)? If you did it in a wood near where you live you could (if you wished to) visit it from time to time. Please don?t plant it in the garden because if it gets blight or something it would be upsetting, but a tree in a wood might be nice. Just an idea. I didn?t do this for my mmc all those years ago (4 years ago) but I did sign the miscarriage book at the hospital and went back to visit it on the anniversary of the mmc for a couple of years.

Since I went to see the dietician and did the mindful eating of a raison (I know it sounds crazy but it did really work) have been eating less. Good luck with the healthy eating.

Just looking through some old papers and found an ad for this year's Fertility Show (in last year's programme) it will be on Friday 5th November and Saturday 6th November. It was at Olympia and the website is like a wedding show except with fewer wedding dresses and more ways of testing your ovaries!

Waves to all

Kiwi has wicked boss spotted anything?

riggly how goes it?

Dueling you are the closest thing to a cycle buddy so I am hanging on to everything for you! Pessaries start very soon for me!! Yikes, will I remember where to stick them! The confusing thing is that the packet says to take orally!! But I was told not to! Packets, who needs them!

BB Hope the gravy making works out. Thinking of you.

Any news of luckywebby and flibbertygibbet Idream thinking of you, hope that things will sort out. How is FIL, still chasing the nurses!

OK to cover myself fully in case any dramas are happening tonight I am shooting up a couple of arrow prayer for the whole lovely lot of us, baby dust and gravy for all and a healthy spring in his step for FIL.

Waves and chocolate polystyrene to all.

Dueling just saw you on the name game on the naming thread! I have just given up, I could not even get started. Need sleep! All best wishes cycle buddy.

Hi Italian - Saw you there too. I think you chose Joseph too? it's one name me and DH have always agreed on.

bumpless so glad to see you back. I can only echo what others have said and say I know people who have had bleeding through the early part of their pregnancy. One of my very best friends came to see me yesterday and told me she had blead on and off for more than 5 weeks with all of her three children and infact I remember with her first child when we still shared a house she rushed to A&E very soon after finding out she was pregnant because of the bleeding. She has 3 very healthy children and so I really hope this is normal and that you will be fine.

amberc My testing date is 10th April. I am determined not to test before then, we don't even have a test in the house. It's a weekend so if it is bad news hopefully I will find out then and won't have to go straight into work. Here's hoping my usually short cycle doesn't mean I get a period before that.

Massive congratuations on the weight los Did you manage to restrain yourself over the desert?

Welcome back MercenaryMom Glad to hear the holiay was relaxing and full steam ahead to the next cycle.

Welcome gleegeekgleek

And so to me me me....

The 2WW is ok, not crazy or itching to test yet. I'm getting good sleep although I seem to be going to bed later and later.

My stomach is a bit bloated, I think from the progesterone, but it's not too bad and I am still just lying about watching awful TV; why do TV channels repeat the same daytime twaddle day after day!? I picked up a basket of wet washing the other day and then panicked that I shouldn't have so have been taking it very easy ever since. It is a bit boring though so have decided from Monday to get out and about a bit more.

I did go to the local super market yesterday and found it incerdibly stressful as I am super aware of my cargo and so just wanted to run home again!

My friend who came over yesterday is massively excited and keeps telling me she has good feelings about all this, but I am trying to remain realistic while at the same time trying to visualise having a baby in my arms.

Can't believe I had the transfer on Thursday - it seems like much longer.

xx

Hi Ladies

Thank you for your warm welcome. It will take me a little time to get my head around your stories, plus there are a few IVF abbreviations I haven't a clue about .

Today I have a problem .... I have blood in my CM. I had my IUI insemination (medicated) on Wednesday 17th March and so it is too early for a period because (a) I am on progesterone pessaries (400mg twice a day) and (b) period not due anyway until 1 April. Clinic have advised me not to test until 4th April (Easter Monday).

Any ideas? I don't feel the slightest bit pregnant (have 1 DS who is 6 and have had a further 3 miscarriages).

Going bonkers here .

Italian - My name is from the TV Series True Blood. It it there is a beautiful viking vampire called Eric Northman and I could see myself being his Mrs .... in my dreams ...
yum

Morning everyone. Hope you all remembered to put your clocks forward.

A big welcome MrsNorthman I'm not sure what the blood in your CM means. Is it much or just a tiny bit? I guess its a bit late for implantation bleeding but I suppose its a possibility. It's torture the waiting isn't it? Try and keep yourself distracted someway. There is nothing you can do now but look after yourself.

Welcome too to gleegeekgleek Its great to have a cycle buddy. Hope your injections are going ok. When is your next scan booked? Mine is wednesday.

Duelling The 2WW goes really slowly doesn't it? Just take it easy as much as you can. Fingers firmly crossed for your embies. Don't worry about picking up the washing.

bumpless All the best. Is it tomorrow you are having a scan?

Italian Hope all going to plan. Nearly EC time.

Mercenarymom Good to hear you had a nice holiday. Hope AF comes along so you can get on with things.

Idream Still bleeding?

Hello to everyone else too.

Injections going ok so far. DH and I had a lovely day yesterday. Went to see Les Miserables and went for a lovely meal. My DH got the tickets for our wedding anniversary last year. A perfect distraction.

Hi Gingerwine ... am actually drinking gingerbeer as I type!!

Only a little bit of blood in CM. I've scoured Google - like you do and implantation can take place anytime from 8 - 12 dpo .... but to be honest I don't hold out much hope of being pg. But onwards and upwards!!

Anyway ... onto nicer things .... it sounds like you had a lovely day yesterday I am very envious. We went to see Oliver last year and it was absolutely fantastic. Best day out, ending up in Zizzi's for an post theatre dinner even if it did rain all day and give me frizzy hair!!!

gleegeekgleek - great name!

Italian are you looking after yourself? I hope DH and DD are pampering you lots and that you're nice and chilled in the lead up to Wednesday.

Cerubina - I was also very moved by your post and thought that your comment about missing your baby was very poignant. I hope you are doing better now xxx

MrsNortham - yum indeed... Have you rung your clinic about the blood in your CM? I know mine haven't been much use in reassuring me, but yours might be? Just ask if you're not sure about any abbreviations (it took me ages to work some out!)

Dueling glad to hear you're doing so well with your 2WW - carry on taking it easy (make the most of it!) I have bought myself the DVD collection of Audrey Hepburn movies to keep me occupied during mine!!

Gleegeekgleek - Welcome! Big cup of tea and jammie wagon wheel for you! I am also a Gleek, so I can see we're going to get on! (Are you also in lurve with Mr. Shu?)

MM - sounds like you had a fab time in Switerland - thanks for the choccies (Idream's face smeared in chocolate...). When are you planning on starting your next cycle?

Bumpless - you made me laugh very much with your story about the Lindt bunny (my bunny of choice...) I hope you enjoyed it (starting with the ears, of course) and that you're feeling okay. Do you have an appointment at the clinic this week? I'm cheerleading with Italian - Go Mo! (Idream and Italian the AC thread Cheerios!)

Amberc - well done on your weightloss - that's mega!

Hi to Horton, Babybarrister, Gingerwine and all other ladies xxxxx

I've just got back from a chocolate festival - heaven on earth!

Unfortunately I'm still bleeding (day 19 now)and am having quite a bit of period-type pain. I'm pretty convinced that when I go on Tuesday they're going to tell me that I won't be ready to start the IVF cycle this time. I'll just have to wait and see.

Forgot to say - FIL is doing much bettter, thank you Italian. He came home from hospital on Friday and was pretty happy, but unfortunately now he's feeling a bit down as the drugs he's on are making it difficult for him to sleep and he's feeling a bit depressed about his brush with death. I think it may be a long road to recovery

Hi ladies and welcome and good luck to GGG !

Bleeding finally stopped, yay . I'm feeling much more positive today and hoping to see Mo tomorrow (scan 8 pm Mon evening). A bit of me is saying that it's do dangerous to feel positive but I just do! (possibly mood boosted by Lindt bunny consumption - although I'm a feet first girl Idream

Idream don't give up on your cycle yet. They need a thin lining for the start, don't they - well yours should be wafer thin now, as you're shedding it so fast! Chin up girlie. At least they should be able to explain properly what's going on.

MrsN I thought of a late implantation bleed too. Fingers xed it is! Why are you not holding out much hope for the cycle, can I ask?

MM joining you on the healthy eating tomorrow! I'm also waiting till scan results to sign up with either a normal or an ante-natal Pilates course, need to move more!

Gingerwine what a lovely man your DH sounds like! Just what you need to take your mind off cycling. When do you have your scan to see how your follies are doing?

Dueling top marks for resting. I always start going up the wall after 2 days so you're doing brilliantly. Progesterone = bloating, too right. Sending you every sticky vibe going!

Italian what's your plan for the run-up to EC? Hope you're serene and positive (like I wasn't!) Nearly there now!!

Kiwi how's it going? Have you got used to the idea yet? Hope everything's OK xx

Islegrin my friend, are you lurking? Hugs to you and pop in and say hi if you feel like it xx

Bumpless so glad the bleeding has stopped and good luck or the scan. Will they be able to see much at this early stage?

Idream sorry to hear your FIL is depressed, hopefully things will get better for him. And the bleeding thing sucks - 19 days! I hope they can start your cycle, as Bumpless said your lining will be nice nad thin at least.

I think I have done a bit too much today and now I feel worried. Started off having everything done for me, then decided to make a carrot cake to pass the time which was all good but then for some reason I did all the washing up, emptied the bin and mopped the floor. I was careful but now am thinking I should have just chilled out a bit more. Too late to change now but I wish I wasn't so fed up with rubbish tv! Only day 3 - so far to go!

Dueling my dear, do not stress! Even Zita only says 3 days of relaxing, and lots of other clinics say just go back to normal. In unassisted pregnancies women don't even know they're conceiving and don't make any allowances at all. You're being super-responsible and you haven't endangered yourself at all. Don't think rubbish TV is good for the psyche at all - can you stroll round a museum / park / relax in a bookshop tomorrow?

Apparently if all's well tomorrow they'll see a sac at least and poss a heartbeat, but if could be too early. If it's not all well I don't actually know what they see!

Dueling I didn?t post a name on the thread; it suddenly looked too much like hard work!

DH has two jobs, take price label off the gift for donor and provide swimmers, so far failed at number one let?s hope number two goes well this week (to be fair to him price label was craftily hidden in the box but oh well!).

Told DD I was having an operation on my tummy and she must not touch it or I will cry! Said we were still trying to have a baby, and she said she would open the presents for the baby as babies aren?t very good at opening presents! She is all happy about the idea of a baby but I know that ten minutes in the company of a hamster and she would be crying out for one of them instead! I have tried not to raise her hopes, just to tell her we are still trying.

MrsNorthman I would be a bit worried about mentioning any blood around a beautiful Viking vampire! Sorry no idea about the medical side you mentioned, I am a doctors best friend, I go to the doc for everything and never take other people?s advice, except when they are right!

Bumpless and Idream I'm totally stressed, tension headache in back of neck, in tears at church today because DD said something mean in the loos, it sounds like high school! I spoke to her tonight and she said sorry, she can be the most loving and also the most mean! Madly, I still want another one! If I am honest I kind of feel it will work or it won?t. I am being positive and looking at an orange pen as I type!

I mentioned a while ago that my dentist said there was some link between bad gums and problems in pregnancy. It might have been here or the other thread or both. And someone asked about it and I don?t know the answer.

BUT to Whoeverwasaskingmeaboutbadgumsinpregnacny I think that the probable thing is that poorer people with poorer access to health care probably have poorer dental care and more problems in pregnancy so my guess is that is the correlation BUT I am not a scientist. Maybe my dentist just told me to sell me a session with the hygienist! good toothy icon!

Hi,
Thanks for the warm welcome.

ITALIAN laughing about your dh. Yep let's hope he manages to produce the swimmers more effectively than the arduous task of removing the price label.

Very useful to see what you've said to your dd as I'm wondering about that with ds. He's a nosey, astute almost five year old and will ask endless questions whatever we say so it needs to be a watertight story. We don't want to tell him what we're really up to - don't think he'd take it well .

BUMPLESS - how did it go with the scan. Fingers crossed for you.

DUELLING - I agree with others. I'm sure you'll be fine to do a little more now. I don't think the human race would have survived this far if all pregnancies failed with a bit of exertion.

IDREAM - I bet you did dream of choc last night. Lucky you. I have a vision of chocolate fountains galore and tons of different chocs to taste. What was there?
Big Glee night tonight - isn't it the last one before they took a long break in filming. Last week's was fab with Mr Schu finding out. I like him but he doesn't do it for me like that. Hair too curly. My dh has a thing for Quinn which is weird as she's so not his normal type. I'll take Puck myself - with a personality transplant for him [leeriness smiley].

Hi to everyone else. Will try and keep up with personals.

I used to be on volume one of this thread but under a different name - was ages ago now and I've namechanged. Had a long break before started cycling again. Can't see any familiar names from then but if anyone else was on that too and namechanged then hello to you.

Just waiting for today's call from the clinic about meds and whether I need to stick with the same dose or not. I have to go in every day for a blood test and sometimes a scan as I'm high risk for OHSS. I'm going to be really sick of the sight of the place in 10 days time and I will get no work done

Bumpless - I'm traumatised by your "feet first" thing, it's just not right !! I hope scan goes well this evening (fingers crossed emotcion).

Dueling I'm sure that you've actually done yourself some good - stretching out and gettting the blood and oxygen pumping a bit. Was the carrot cake good? That's what I like to hear - nice healthy nutritious cake (will do you the power of good!).

I didn't realise that you actually needed a thin lining to start a cycle (yet again B for effort, F for acheivement on IVF 101...), however my concern is that if I don't stop bleeding (I haven't yet), how will I know when my period starts - and also will it start if there is nothing left to shed?

Italian - laughing at your DH story! Why are they incapable of doing the smallest things? Did you have a scan today (or am I imagining scan dates again?) Sorry to hear you're feeling stressed - I think that you should get DD a grey hamster now, for being mean to you yesterday and making you cry (is that how you deal with 5 year olds?!!)

It was me who was asking about bad gums - I see your point about general bad health - it's like when they said that bacon and sausages had a correlation with breast cancer, but more likely that women who ate lots of bacon and sausages are generally more unhealthy and therefore have other factors which would make them more susceptible to breast cancer (sweeping generalisation, but you get my point).

GGG - yes there were chocolate fountains galore! I had an Italian thick hot chocolate (yummy) and bought DH a packet of peanutbutter chocolate (also yummy!). I haven't watched last week's Glee yet...... (I tend to watch things on the i-player), but he had to find out sometime! My DH also has a thing for Quinn (makes me feel a little inadeqaute - I am also small and blonde but about twice her size and twice her age.) He tells me he's going to trade me in for 2 16yr olds - I tell him he couldn't keep up... I concur re: Puck. Again - yummy! I'm also going to have to go for a scan everyday from day 5 of the drugs as I'm also at risk from OHSS because of my PCOS - that's going to be convenient!!

Hi all - wow don't we all write loads! I can't keep up!!

So italian I have now lost 9lbs - got a stone to go though. I have lost this over three weeks. Very proud of myself but dying for something sweet and sickly. I had a pizza today at P express - they cut the middle out and fill it with salad - what a fab idea!

Bumpless -you must have had your scan by now (very late!). I do hope it all went well and little Mo is fighting fit.

Duelling - my hospital told me to just get on with normal life as if you were pregnant naturally you wouldn't know anyway and wouldn't do anything differently. I have decided however that next time I am deinitely going to have a couple of days rest though. I think you are fine with what you've done so far - no wretling matches or caber tossing so should be fine!
hi Glee - wish I'd got into that programme but can hardly ever get time to watch owt except Masterchef. We got a painter and decorater in today to quote for us and he ws on Masterchef the other night - how funny!!

Italian and i allowed to be uber nosey and ask what you got nyour donor?