Assisted Conception (and the bits in between) Volume 5

[Bumpless]

Thought I'd set us up a new home! kettle's on and choc tin open.

This is a lucky start to our new thread: 2 BFPs and a fantastic fertilisation rate from Dueling!

Boobs and biscuits to everyone

Bumpless I hope you are okay [concerned] xxxxx

Dueling - don't keep us in suspenders - how did your ET go?

Italian - I wish I did go to bed at 9pm, I need all the sleep I can get. I can sleep for England, Scotland, Germany & Italy (the collective nations of our household) at the best of times, never mind at the moment. I'm knackered all the time despite getting a bit more sleep than usual and I think it's partly due to the fact that I'm still bleeding (day 16 now). Always Ultra is making a fortune out of me! I'm going to call the hospital again in the morning - this can't be right.

Hello to all ladies xxxx

Hi all. I didn't want to come bounding in when things might not be god for Bumpless

Hope you are ok Bumpless? Amberc Your AMH is only a little lower than mine. I forget if you have had much success with the stimming stage in the past? I would certainly look at Donor eggs if I need to do it again but don't know much about it so will look forward to reading replies from other people.

Wave to babybarrister - was the scan today? If so hope it went well and if not good luck for when it is

gingerwine Did AF arrive? I think emotionally all this can be very hard, though I was able to get through it with not too many emotional ups and downs. It sounds like you have good support from your DH though. Hopefully you can make the decision together. i would say go for it

Cerubina Sorry to hear you have been up and down too. I know when I had my miscarriage I was 'fine' one minute and then the next my sorrow whould just take me by surprise and leave me feeling really angry and upset that I was in that position. All I can say is I understand and it will get better honest.

riggly how are the injections, not too bad I hope?

Hi to PerfectDromedary I don't think we have spoken before but wanted to say 'hi'

Italian I hope your headaches have gone? Your posts are so uplifting and funny and they make me smile.

Idream at the continuing bleeding! I never had anything like that on Microgynon and I was on it for years. Hope that you get some answers soon.

Wave to KiwiKat and anyone I have missed.

So... we had the transfer today. What's up with them telling me to have a full bladder but not to eat or drink for 2 hours before the transfer!?! By the time I was seen at 12 (A whole hour after I was told to arrive) I was bursting and even the person scanning said I must have amazing bladder control!

I now have two little fellas on board, we're not sure what to call them - one and two, pinky and perky, hinge and bracket? The other two were lower quality and have multiplied really fast which they say may be an indication that they are not going to be any good. They are going to keep and eye on them and let us know in a couple of days if they can be frozen.

I had acupuncture before and after and have been taking it wasy ever since. DH came into the theatre with me, saw things he's never seen before and held my hand tightly all the way through. He got a bit excited about the chair which had a remote control to make it go up and down. bless him.

Am now relaxing at home and trying to remain positive. I was really quite stressed and down last night, full of worries and 'what if's' but told my Acupuncturist this morning and she did something which seems to have made me better.

Am testing on 10th April.

I wanted to ask about the pessaries. Maybe LondonLottie might know? I have 400mg and have to put them in twice a day. I was wondering 1. is it better to put them up my bum and 2. is 800mg a day enough for someone like me with a short luteal phase or would it be worth me pressuring them for more?

xx

BB Good luck for scan

Idream Get those docs to check you out or you will send a rocket up their collective.....

Amberc I am pretty much 100% sure that the situation with donor eggs is that the donor gives the eggs and from the moment the recipient has any embryo transferred into her body that the baby then becomes the baby of the recipient just as if it were created using her own eggs. However, during the actual process from retrieval of the eggs to transfer of the embryo the donor has the right to stop the procedure (although I do understand this is rare). What, I think, this would mean is that if you went down the donor route any baby you had would be completely, legally yours once transfer had happened. HOWEVER, I have no definite ideas for the legal implications and I would suggest you speak to your clinic, or another suitable clinic, and get definite legal advice and information from them. I would also suggest you get a breakdown of costs and wait lists etc.

If you had a baby using donor eggs I think you would technically be the biological mother (as in you had the baby in your body) but the baby would not be your genetic offspring. I do not think the donor would have any 'rights' over the child. Legally, they would not be in a position to trace the child, my understanding is that it is all anonymous, but when the child turns 18 they have the opportunity to trace the donor if they wish to. All clinics operate differently, some do egg sharing where you pay the costs for treatment (though possibly not the drugs fees) of the donor who is also undergoing treatment but other clinics can match you up with anonymous donors.

My biggest advice to you would be to totally ignore ALL I have just said and contact a couple of clinics that would be able to provide IVF with donors and find out the facts for sure form the clinic. Please record all the answers so you can compare whatever is said, like costs and waiting times etc, and make a decision based on what would be best for you. Feel free to contact me here and tell me if I have got any details wrong but please DO NOT take my word for any of this but check it all out for yourself. All best of luck.

Our news, think that EC will be Wednesday. Nearly there! So excited.

Headaches almost gone.

Only ate half of my Calzone at dinner in fabo restaurant tonight (with fabo sis and friends) and have lost 2 pounds at WW my two pounds griming as they go!

It's all good.

Love and waves and hugs, to all and chocolate boobs as we say here on the assisted conception thread.

Special message for DuelingFanjo Thanks for your complement about my posts. You made me laugh with DH liking the chair, typical; my dh would be the same....miracle of life in the right hand corner, electronic chair moving up and down in the left-hand corner, where do some of our dh's collective eyes swivel to??

Hope you get some frozen embies too and really hope whatever you call them (if you come up with a name) you will tell us (nosy).

Dueling it does worry me that you are asking where to put the pessaries and how may to use. Are your clinic not telling you what to do? They should, please ask them, everyone is different (I mean every clinic and every pesseriey). Also strictly speaking aren't pessaries for the vagina and suppositories for insertion into the rectum. Please do ask your clinic where to put yours!

Don?t stress, I am sure will all be OK.

Please, chill out, you can do it without Zita, switch off the lap top..... no not yet.... relax and chill, as they say in the USA chillax! Best of luck, OK now can switch off.....

Wow Italian I didn't realise you were so close to egg collection. That's great news.
My Dr said to use them whatever way I prefer and to put them in twice a day. I just think I remember londonlottie saying she had argued for more pessaries (maybe 3 a day) because of her luteal phase?

My question about putting them up the bum is more to do with what is better for absorption. TMI coming up but... because the bum creates more of a seal there's less seepage. I was told to use them analy the day of transfer and didn't find it as messy over all as vaginally.They told me to do it however I preferred I know the French are very keen on giving medicine up the bum and I wondered if that's because it's better that way?

LondonLottie thank you for the advice. hope everything is going ok with the twins

Gosh lottie that is ! I was fortunate in that my DH seems to have no problem at all. I put no pressure on him at all because I was a little scared he might start to feel pressured.

babyb I wonder if your DH could have sperm frozen?I am pretty sure that is an option where I am.

babybarrister - I (kind of) know how you feel. We're just about to start our 1st cycle of ICSI but DH's last tests were last September and were worryingly low (hence ICSI) and in a downward trend. I didn't want to start the cycle without knowing that DH could keep up his end of the bargain (I didn't want to get to EC to find that we had no sperm) so I insisted that DH do another sperm test. He did and it was actually much better than the last lot. Anyway, the point of my little story is that I think that you are being totally reasonable in wanting to make sure that you have some sperm in storage before starting on the drugs.

Dueling I hope that George and Mildred and snuggling down nicely. How are you feeling?

Italian - OMG!!! Wednesday!!! V. excited for you! Well done on your 2lbs as well. I hope you are going to have a nice relaxing weekend listening lots to Zita and eating lots of healthy nourishing food (sending you virtual houmous and carrot sticks with some nice warm pitta bread to cancel out the carrot sticks...).

I called the hospital again today but they don't seem concerned at all - they said I could come in on Monday If I wanted, but I said that as they didn't weem worried that I would just come in on Tuesday for my Day 21 scan as planned. The nurse I spoke to said that "It's not normal but it's nothing to be worried about" - to my mind if something's not normal it's something to be worried about. Anyway, Im not a doctor, so what do I know? (Still bleeding, BTW).

I feel really emotional tonight as well - I was distraught that DH bought the wrong kind of Easter egg for his nephew (completely disregarding my instructions). I don't think I'm over it yet....

I'm worried about Bumpless - If you're out there sweetie I hope you're okay - have been thinking about you all day.

xxxx

Hi BB - why the condom? Why can't he just take matters in hand, as it were, and use one of those pots?

I do feel some sympathy for our blokes - all we have to do is pump ourselves full of drugs, go through menopause, inject every day, go through surgery etc - we forget how hard it is to spend 5 mins on a little 'private alone time'

Sorry, smidgeon facetious, but I feel for you waiting to get started.

DF, fab news, hope they're settling down for the long haul. Take care of yourself.

Idream, the wrong chocolate is obviously a V Bad Thing! The emotional side of this is utter shit, go with the flow if you need to.

Bumpless, enjoy your weekend and look forward to seeing 1, 2 or 3 on Mon!

Italian, wow, that's come around fast! Enjoy your last weekend of not being pregnant...!

Penguin it was the right chocolate but the wrong size and came with a bloody mug. He just doesn't get it......

Nice to hear from you, BTW! xx

The egg situation has now been sorted out....

Italian Great to hear you are nearly at EC. Look after yourself and imagine those follicles growing and developing.

babybarrister How incredibly frustrating for you. I would be very nervous about starting without some sperm stored away in your position. Poor you and your DH. I would also suggest no condom and doing it in a pot instead. Is there a special reason for doing it in the thick condom??

Duelling Hope all is well with you and your little embies. I used my pessaries vaginally. I seem to have a short luteal phase which I mentioned to my consultant. He said that increasing the progesterone would not be necessary and the 2 pessaries would be sufficient. Don't know if that's helpful or not.

Bumpless Are you ok?

Londonlottie Hello again. How is life with your gorgeous pair of girls? Are you getting any sleep? Do they still share a cot?

Idreaminchoclate Sorry to hear about the egg fiasco. Glad its sorted now! You must be really fed up with the bleeding. I'm sure I've heard of others who have had prolonged random bleeding though so try not to worry. Try and replace the iron with some dark chocolate. Hope it sorts itself soon.

cerubina How are you doing?

I know I've missed lots of you so hello to everyone.

It's official I'm back cycling. My PMT nerves have been put aside and I went for my first scan today. No cysts so we are good to go. First injection is tomorrow and we ahould be aiming for EC on the 7th or 8th of April. I'm drinking lots of water to try and avoid the stimulation headaches I got last time. Slightly apprehensive but a teeny bit excited too. The practical side of things is easier second time though. Just knowing what to expect helps.

Gingerwine, thank you for your advice - I can report that I have attempted to replace the iron with a Dairy Milk Easter egg (washed down by a cup of tea in my new Dairy Milk mug...). Good luck with your cycle

Deuling - I forgot to say that when I asked the nurse about my short luteal phase (I think I have mentioned before that I get PMT symptoms about the second after I ovulate) and she said not to worry as your usual state doesn't make any difference during a cycle because it is all controlled by the drugs.

Idream I am sure that how you 'sorted' the egg situation was to eat the egg, use the mug for a cuppa and then send DH to shops for new suitable egg! Am I right?

Just after writing this I read your post! I was right. In the words of Elaine Page I know you so well.

Idream I am sending a quick arrow prayer up for this bleedin? bleeding thing .I think it must be horrible but the fact the nurses are not worried is a good sign. Let us know and yes eat liver, drink Guinness and ...oh are you a veggie? Not sure what the veggie equivalent of liver is, perhaps dark chocolate!!

Bumpless hope all is well.

BB Not sure what to suggest. If it were me I would not start until I knew I had the goo! Not unless you like injecting and have £50 notes to use as loo roll! As far as holiday goes it is a toughie, not sure what to do. Maybe you need to see if Zita does a relaxation tape for men! IF it is a physiological concern rather than a physical one then maybe some nice relaxation may help!

Dueling If you want my pessaries (and mortar) tale, it is vaginally, from egg collection, twice a day, 12 hours apart, lie still for 20 to 30 minutes. I am going for 7.00 a.m. and 7.00 pm. because DD not awake at that time and at 7.00 pm. dh will be home to supervise dd! You need to lay still not jump up to make drinks, switch TV channel ever etc!

Gingerwine all the best.

MM any news

Isle Are you still there?

Cerubina Hugs and smiles.

riggly I am losing the plot, where are you up to?

KiwiKat What are the names? Did any more embies freeze?

Londonlottie how's it going?

To any I have missed I send a big chocolate hug!

Last time I should have said we think EC will be Wednesday, not definite yet.

I am so excited and since eating my raison mindfully I am feeling so much better about food! Will that 6 lb be off by the time I get to ET? I hope so.

BB That IF was not MEANT to be in capitals! It was just meant to imply if the problem is psychological then maybe relaxation can help - NOT - is it really physiological! Capitals are dangerous things!

I think he must feel under a lot of pressure but also maybe if he can talk to you about it and see if there is an underlying cause to it. Is he scared about having a baby, worried about treatment, does he have some reason to feel negative about this process? Just an idea.

My DH was not sure about donor eggs and could not really put his finger on why. We are Christians and I know some Christians are not happy with some areas of assisted conception technology but for DH I think it was just how complicated it all was. He preferred to block it out. However, once he realised we were not going to get there on our own he kind of came round and was in favour of it. It did take ages for him to come round, I would say over two years! I am sure you will NOT have that length of time to wait for this to be sorted (and yes, I was about your age so naturally I was very unhappy it took DH so long to be sure it was the right thing!) Anyway, all water under the bridge now!

I am sure you have talked about it but it just seems like something is holding him back and if he could get past that block then it could be goo city - if you excuse the rather odd imagery!

best of wishes.

Hello Ladies

Can I join you? I had my first IUI on 17th March and now in my 2ww (well its 18 days to be exact ).

I can't seem to find an IUI thread and gather from reading through this thread that you are all having IVF.

If i'm in the wrong place can someone point me in the right direction .... just not applicable to all the other TTC'ers who are just on normal cycles.

I'm using cyclogest (400mg) twice a day so have the temprement of an axe murderer at the moment? Wierd as they are supposed to treat PMT and PND!

Have no real symptoms as they are of course being masked by the cyclogest .... going out of my mind here. Hubby bit fed up of me going on about it and friends (although they are great) haven't got a clue what i'm talking about .

Well hello to all .... pleased to meet you

Hi there MrsNorthman and welcome. Am sure there are some IUIers here too.

You're probably testing just before me (I had IVF) so will cross my fingers for us both. How did you find the IUI process? I managed to get through the injections with no problems and am grateful that I have had quite a smooth ride so far.

I'm also on 400mg of Cyclogest twice a day but can't say I have had any side effects except perhaps that's why I have felt a bit ratty with my DH recently?

Italian thanks for the pessary info. I am doing it at 8 and 8 but might have to start slightly modifying this as I won't have time for a lie in at 8 when I go back to work. Perhaps I will do it a bit earlier gradually.

Idream thanks you for the reassurance about my cycle. How are you? Has the bleeding subsided at all?

bumpless thinking of you lovely.

gingerwine hope the injections go ok.

wave to everyone else. I am still relaxing, though did some washing yesterday and then felt gulty for picking up a basket full of wet washing. Am not sure what they would consider 'lifting' and how long I have to not do it for.

Italian - you do know me so well...

MrsNorthman - welcome! I think we look after ladies going through all types of assisted conception here. So settle in, put your feet up and let us get you a cuppa and a nice choccy biccy xxx

Italian - thank you for the prayer

baby barrister - couldn't you give DH a helping hand? My clinic allows couples in the room to do whatever they have to do and (so says my OH) they have some decent jazz mags.

I am worried about bumpless - God I hope she's alright and just taking a MN break.

Italian, are all your kids from donors? That was another issue I was think about - maybe there would be a 'thing' with one being genetically mine and the other not.

DF - when is your testing date?

Idream - wow - make sure you are on iron tablets! How awful for you with the prolonged bleeding. You should buy some shares in Tampax!

So I have lost 7lbs on WW (at my weigh in on MOnday) - hurrah! I have 5 people for dinner tonight so I need to show restraint with the desert! Have my app at the clinic on Weds as to next steps. Want to discuss what my chances are at conception with my own eggs and weigh up the pros and cons. I have thought of nothing else other than the whole donor situation and worry about when the child becomes a teen rather than a child. I think I have a massive fear of abandonment and my worst nightmare woulod be for the child to tell me I wasn' their real mum and want to go off and find her. Thing is I know this could happen so gotta make some big decisions.

Love to everyone and welcome newbies!