Assisted Conception (and the bits in between) Volume 5

[Bumpless]

Thought I'd set us up a new home! kettle's on and choc tin open.

This is a lucky start to our new thread: 2 BFPs and a fantastic fertilisation rate from Dueling!

Boobs and biscuits to everyone

Hi everyone, just popping back in.

DJ, fab news about the heartbeat, what a relief!

Idream, yeah, I remember that panic when my boobs stopped hurting for a few days, and the obsessive prodding that ensued! But symptoms do seem to be so subjective and varied - you know you can be pregnant without sore boobs! I read somewhere that it was a good sign if they stop aching and then start again - signs that the body is taking over producing the progesterone, but frankly you can find something to support anything, so please try not to worry [insert hypocritical smiley]! Fingers crossed for you.

Horton, it's been said many times before, but you only need one! There is as you an increasing train of thought that more does not mean better chances of success, and success is what we're after, right!

Well I'm now waiting for my first scan next week and then start the downreg drugs in about 10 days or so. V annoyed the cycle looks to be as long as a fresh one - at this rate I will be testing on day 1 of our holiday at the end of June, which will either mean no alcohol or spoiled trip, grr!

Hello to everyone else including some new faces! No-one wants to end up on this board - it's a good thing we're all so nice!

Horton, we only had two fertilised eggs, and one of those worked for us. Keep thinking postitive thughts.

Dueling, great news for you!

I told Evil Boss on Monday, with another woman in the room so I had a witness, and she was totally fine about it. I told her that as it had taken such a lot to get to this stage, I was telling her early as anything could happen, so that if anything DID happen, she would understand and be able to support me in that. But I asked her not to tell anyone else. And she was fine. I think she likes feeling that I trust her. A bit of a weight off my mind, I can tell you ...

Horton, Dueling and Penguin - thank you for your support. TBH I think my feelings are mainly down to the fact that I'm exhausted because I've not slept properly for a few days (night sweats and silly dreams). I feel a bit better now.

Horton I also responded poorly to the low dose of Gonal F, and I'm sure it doesn't make you feel any better you're already doing much better than I ever did (I ended up with 5 eggs). But the good thing is that they've increased your dose straight away and that could make a big difference. If none of that makes you feel any better, I hope it reassures you that I know exactly how you feel because you're where I was 2/3 weeks ago. Big hugs and lots of chocolate boobs for you xxx

Dueling great news from your scan - it must have been amazing to see your baby and hear it's heatbeat

Hi KiwiKat - good to hear that you've told your boss (of the evil variety) and that you're feeling more relaxed now - I hope you can have a fabulous and chilled out pregnancy xx

PenguinDreams - exciting news from you!! How are you feeling about starting your cycle? It's so true what you said about this thread! I know we all long to be on a "Oh dear I sneezed and now I'm preganant" thread, but we're not - and this thread does the best chocolate boobs going!!

Right, off to pick up DH from the train station and then to BED! Sweet dreams all xxx

Thanks so much, everyone. And it really does help to know that you've all been there or very nearby! Am trying to stay positive.

Do you think it would be v v bad to allow myself a small bottle of beer tonight? I really fancy one.

Frosticle It is OK to laugh and cry, isn?t it; it is all part of it. Should just say I am not sure all those clinics I mentioned actually do donor eggs, best to check each one.

Idreaminhotchocolate Thanks for your offer of material for my book, will bear in mind, just an idea at the moment. Thanks too for your kind comments on my parenting ability. And also to AmberC. Brunch was wonderful but I only actually made scrambled eggs, we had croissant, coffee, pain au chocolate etc, you would have liked it chocbunny! Please don?t worry about boobs aching or anything, I am not sure it is easy to tell with all the drugs, either way.

Horton how did you have so many follicles without drugs! It is amazing. If you have already had a beer ignore me, it not, I?d advise not to have a beer, just give yourself the best environment, you won?t really miss it, but as I say if you have already, ignore me!

Kiwi well done for telling teacher!

My news is that we will go for adoption and if it fails for any reason we will review. In the meantime I will save money for whatever the future holds. I should say goodbye to you all but for the time being I will hang around. Love and arrow prayers to all Chocolate and to all.

Hi all,

Just wanted to drop you a quick line to let you know I'm still alive! Have been lurking in the shadows as I'm stuck waiting at the moment, but still following all your exciting adventures.

Dueling I'm so happy you got to see your baby's heart beat. Hopefully that puts some of your worries at rest and you can begin to enjoy your pregnancy? You certainly deserve it.

Idream I'm keeping fingers and toes crossed for you and sending you sticky, achey chocolate for luck!

I do know what you mean about work though...I've faced the same problem - it seems so unfair that after all we have to go thru to try to get pregnant that we have to deal with how it affects work as well! However, if you want to be Head Rocket Scientist then I'd say go for it. Yes, it may count against you, even if it shouldn't, but then again, you might be pleasantly surprised at how open-minded some people can be.

Kiwi on a similar note, I'm glad the evil boss took your news well. Must be a huge relief!

Italian I think its fantastic news about going for adoption. There are children out there who desperately need a chance at a happy life, and you sound like just the mother to give it to them. Good luck!

Horton I hope you had your bottle of beer! Don't worry too much about your disappointing scan. That is why they do scans - to check progress and make sure you're on the right dosages. So hopefully the increased dose will get you back on track immediately. And if not, I think we've got plenty of evidence on this thread that you don't need a lot of follicles to be successful!

BabyB good luck with the Viagra!

Penguin its great to have you back. FET does take almost as long as a fresh cycle, but it is a whole lot easier. Good luck!

As for me, we had our consult last week and are now officially ready to start the next cycle. I could have started on Wednesday, but decided to wait a month in order to start in the best possible frame of mind. I resigned my job on Monday and it was announced to the masses on Tuesday, so I was not in a relaxed and focused place to start down-regging the next day! Still have time to fit in a cycle since we won't leave the UK for good until August. However, DH has to start work there in mid-May, which means I'll be doing IVF completely on my own (he'll fly back for EC and ET - or at least he'd better do!). I'm fine with this since I feel like we've been thru this so many times already...

Welcome to all the newcomers and waves to all!

oooh - good luck with the Viagra Babybarrister!

I did actually have my bottle of beer and it was very nice, thank you. Last time I had given up all hope of pregnancy it was NYE and I went out and got terribly drunk and smoked about a hundredweight of cigarettes and then six days later got a BFP. And she's three now and she's fine (although obviously I did metaphorically beat myself up about that one for some time). Anyway, I haven't had a drink for ages so one beer made me feel quite cheery which I think was just what was needed.

Next scan tomorrow but I am a bit pissed off, actually. Was booked in for 9am but they rang me and we've had to change this to 12 because of other procedures they need to carry out. If it had been 9, DH could have come with me and looked after our daughter while I was being scanned etc but as it is I will have to take her with me and invest in some chocolate on the way to keep her quiet while I need to concentrate on what they are saying to me. He will have to leave for work before 12 as it's matinée day tomorrow. Really really inconvenient.

Italian, those numbers of follicles are just antral follicles, ie the developing many out of which only one will go on to become an egg with normal hormone levels. With the hormones you can obviously get more than one. The issue was that my ovaries looked entirely unstimulated on Thursday. But good news about deciding on adoption. That sounds very positive. Hope you feel good about it.

Good luck for your next cycle, MM. And I hope the viagra does the trick, BabyB!

Anyway, I've been on 300 units of Gonal F for two days now. Oddly, all those first side effects seem to have vanished and I feel fine. Am also becoming an old pro at the injection thing. I hardly even think about it any more. A couple of days ago, DD accidentally had a nap during the day so was still up and creating havoc at 8.30 and they say to do the injections between 8 and 9 so I told her I was going to the loo, popped upstairs and did the injection in less than a minute. It's astonishing how fast you get used to it.

Hi all MM hey Angelina, thanks for telling us what you are doing? I do hope you will have an OK time of it having your treatment alone. Can you have a friend come with you if you need it? I am glad you left work; it is hard to manage work and fertility treatment. Thank you for your lovely comments about me adopting. I do feel very positive about adoption, if I am up to it. I was stunned that my DH said I was a very good Mum! I mean I try to be but I was surprised my usually laid back and none-too-observant DH had noticed nice things about me!

Dueling Enjoy it all, have you settled down a bit now, laying off the pineapples!

Idream Are you still getting the silly dreams? Sometimes I really think there is such a big link between dreams and what is happening, I don?t mean what will happen but what is going on. For example I was very, very tired yesterday, bone tired as you might say, and I dreamt I was stuck and could not move! So I am guessing you are worrying about things in your dreams, so sorry. I will pray that that (for nice dreams not bad ones) will get better and I suggest Horlicks and a nice warm bed early on each day, and no dramatic TV. As an insomniac I say but can I do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is happening with your job, I must have missed something!

Horton Glad you enjoyed your beer. So sorry that your scan time has been changed, how annoying. One time I went for the scan I took DD and I explained the nurse was going to look at my v*gina and the nurse came in and said something like ?I?m just going to see what Mummy had for breakfast!? Well done on mastering the injections.

BabyB Good luck, hope Viagra/Ciafra works. Something about that name makes me think if Cif that used to be Jif! Just don?t use it to clean the sink (way too costly I am sure). Thinking of you, oopse, that sounds kind of creepy, what I mean is sending you good thoughts! Maybe you will just find the knack that gets things going in the right direction!

Penguin and Kiwi How are you?
Sorry if I have missed anything important!

Thinking of you all.

Just watching How to Look Good Naked on E4, wow, it is so good, Gok is fab! He has managed to transform a dowdy 30 something whose marriage was about to fall apart into a catwalk model! I know it is not all about looks but I think confidence is so important.

Our news, I called to ask about adoption, they like people to have six months before proceeding after fertility treatment. That is a bit sad as I am raring to go, just feel an incredible peace about it all, but I do need to lose some weight, they do not usually let fat people adopt and your dear Italian greyhound is not as svelte as she was when she was a puppy!

Hi all

Quiet tonight!

Idreamofchocolate How is it going? How is Freddie doing?

Frosticle had any more thoughts? I have heard that waiting lists at Care (Midlands based but accessible from London) are as little as 5 months (for CMV+). It does depend if you are CMV negative or positive. Your GP may be able to tell you that by doing the blood test for free (if sympathetic) you need it for both you and DP. You wil also need other blood tests and you would pay if the clinic did them so best to ask GP first if you can.

Horton, Kiwi, Penguine, Cerabina, BB, Penfoldglasses, Dueling, MM and all* waves and grins and chocolate.

Londonlottie how are you?

I am desperate to get a new job with my work (charity) as a charity writer (it has become available I am being made redundant in the summer). I worked as an editor for a charity publication for a few years as a volunteer, totally unpaid but I think this qualifies me for the role so it just depends how stiff the competition is! I would so love this post! Speaking of posts I have posted like mad on the adoption thread!

Thinking of you all, missing the spotting cm etc and worrying about drinking and remembering to take folic acid! Sort of weaning myself off, still hoping for a miracle but trying to adjust!

Sorry this is mostly me, me, me....

Hello!

Horton, how did your scan go yesterday? How are you feeling - have you had any more side effects?

Italian Hello! I can see why they would ask people to wait 6 months after fertility treatment before they start the adoption journey - although I totally understand why you might feel frustrated by that, I certainly would. Good luck with your application for the charity writer role. It'll be especially good as it will give you something to focus on and get excited about during your 6 month wait. It must feel quite strange to "let of" of TTC and the associated paraphenalia - does it feel liberating?

I've only got 2 days of my 2WW left. At the moment I have NO symptoms of anything. I don't feel like I'm getting my period and (although I have no idea what it feels like to be pregnant) I don't think I feel pregnant - I just physically feel nothing. I've got my blood test at 8am on Tuesday morning and will hear a few days later. I am determined not to test before then.

Italian What's happened with my job is that my fabulous boss is moving on and leaving the deputy (with whom my rocky relationship with has been previously documented on this thread) in charge. So avoid being managed by a man with even fewer social skills than he has brains, I'm looking to apply for the role that he has left vacant. However I'm concerned that even if I benchmark in the interview they will give it to another candidate (obviously also benchmarked) because they know that I'm pregnant / trying to get pregnant.

Right - off to polish up my CV! xxx

Scan yesterday rubbish. Follicles had only grown by a v small amount so was scanned again this morning. Still rubbish. We may very well not be able to proceed with egg collection as all the follicles are still so small.

Oh Horton - that's pants. They mentioned cancelling my cycle when I was at the same stage as you (follies still only about 6 - 7mm), but they didn't and a week later I was ready to go. I got myself all upset. Hope you're okay xxx

Horton so sorry to hear about the follicles but hang on in there maybe it will be OK.

Chocobunny Good luck for last two days. Don?t test early. Really go for the job you want. Don't let trying to con conceive hold you back and don?t let any bosses be negative about you because of this. When you do get pregnant you will need all the money you can get to keep you in magnums and breast pads, so please do go for whatever will suit you. I also feel that when you come to looking into roles you can do with a baby in tow, if you go back to work, then the higher up you are the more choice you have (personal opinion only), e.g. the opportunity may exist for you to take a step down for fewer hours if it suit but it is unlikely that the situation will exist for you to take a step up for fewer hours! IFSWIM

All the best,

Hi Italian, you're exactly right - this new role would come with a laptop and the authority to work from home when necessary - not possible at the moment. Also, it would be quite a big raise in salary - I imagine I'll need that for all my Magnum-type cravings

Have been really tempted to test this afternoon - but I can't face a BFN, so haven't! Probably just bored and should go and do something to take my mind off things!

Horton, mine were small, and then grew quite a bit later on. Don't give up hope.

IDream, what is it about people at work who climb the ladder despite being noddies?! Hope you get the job so you don't have to deal with that guy any more.

I was asked at interview how I felt about leaving my little one to come to work! I know the HR lady and she is lovely and I know now (years later) that she NOT being mean or trying to catch me out! She has since asked me if we plan anymore, in a roundabout way! When she asked how I felt I could have said, terribly sad etc, which was true, but I just said something like fine etc. When she said about us not having more kids I could have said - I am devastated and we are planning to adopt - but I just said something non-committal. It is a shame but men do not get the same type of questions and no one would ever dream of asking a man at interview how he felt about leaving his kids to come to work! So I say just present your work front at work. It was one of the reasons I chose not to tell people at work, expect one who I wanted to confide in and one I almost accidently told when I was quite emotional! Both sworn to secrecy. You have let on about this at work chocobunny so how you deal with it is totally up to you but I suggest you just present a firm (iron maiden!) front and make it clear you will make those rockets in the same professional manner as you have been doing! Even if you feel you are crumbling inside at times or are betraying your desire to have a baby, you are NOT, you are just being professional at work and you can crumble with us and you can know in your heart that once baby comes along if you choose to not go back to work you can make that choice. It is all about the choices now!

Sorry, very one-sided post, we career girls are like that!

Thanks, Idream and Kiwi. How long were you allowed to go on taking the stims for? I have been on them for eight days and the follicles are around 9-10mm max (some smaller). Dr Nargund said that she would have liked them to be at least 14mm by now or even larger. Am being re-scanned in two days so am trying to send growing vibes in the direction of my ovaries (and not panic too much). Do you know, it never crossed my mind that this particular thing would be an issue? I was always thinking in terms of fertilising eggs and implanting etc.

Horton I was on the stims for 13 days, and it sounds like you're further on than I was at day 8. However each consultant does things their way, so Dr. Nargund may make different decisions to my consultant (Mr. De Bono at Calderdale). However they were certainly concerned as everytime I went I had to see Mr. De Bono, rather than the nurse, which is the usual protocol at Calderdale.

Italian thanks for the advice. I was formulating a similar plan, actually. I've been very open and honest with them so far but from now on "Work Idream" is a different person from "Life Idream". BTW, do you know that legally that HR cannot ask you about any plans for a child / adoption etc?

KiwiKat - so with you on the "noddie" thing! Some people only get where they are because they've worked for the company for so damn long!! Thank you xx

Hi and blessings and choco to all. Idreaminhotchocolate yeah I know they are not meant to but I guess it is hard in an interview to say 'You are not allowed to ask that!' So I will usually just be general and not make references to wanting another child. It is hard when you get on well with colleagues, obvioulsy you can still be chummy with people and not worry when the colleagues aren't going to be interviewing you for a job!

Horton I am sorry that things are not going well but hang on in there. I know it sounds flippent, but, it aint over 'til its over, as the song goes. So wait and see, arrow prayers for follicles to buck up their ideas and grow some more!

Have been reading up on the adoption threads here and elsewhere and it sounds like a long process, but then for me assisted conception has been a long process too!

Enjoy yourselves tomorrow.

Thanks for the kind thoughts and encouraging experiences. Am doing plenty of resting and trying to keep positive. DH has taken DD out for a bit so I can just relax.

Horton, here's my post from 27th Feb:

"Had a scan yesterday, and my follicles aren't responding as enthusiastically as they should. I have 1 x 13 mm, 2 x under 10 mm on the right, and 1 x 13 mm, 1 x under 10 on the left, and not only are they small and there are not many of them, the ones on the left are hiding under my womb or some such. So I'm having another scan on Monday, and - assuming I have anything to harvest at all - possibly going for the EC on Wednesday, with a remote possibility of doing it on Friday instead. I'll have been on the drugs for 14 days by then, so maximum length of time they like, I think. Am pretty deflated by the whole thing, I must admit, but am trying to think positive, as that seems to be so much part of it."

You just never know what's going to happen at ANY stage of the journey, you just have to do the best you can and try and stay positive.

Am sending 'fatty' thoughts to your follicles. x