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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Assisted Conception (and the bits in between) Volume 5

1000 replies

Bumpless · 23/03/2010 10:02

Thought I'd set us up a new home! kettle's on and choc tin open.

This is a lucky start to our new thread: 2 BFPs and a fantastic fertilisation rate from Dueling!

Boobs and biscuits to everyone

OP posts:
Horton · 03/05/2010 20:57

Thanks, Kiwi. Sounds like you were doing a bit better than me but not a huge amount! Yesterday was CD 9 for me. It's very depressing, isn't it? I think, looking at all my notes from the consultation etc that this cycle may well be over for us. In theory I would have been doing egg collection on Wednesday which clearly won't be happening. I have no idea how much leeway they give you. At the Sunday scan, I think they were pretty much thinking that was it for this cycle as it just wasn't working and it would be better for us to cut our losses, save the majority of the fee and try again with a different protocol in a couple of months. I'm going to ask what they would do differently next time if we do end up cancelling.

Hello to everybody.

And thanks so much to everyone who's helped me with this.

Idreaminfruitandnut · 03/05/2010 21:21

Hi Horton, I was supposed to be going for EC on CD11, but in the end I went on CD15. I totally understand why you may decide to stop the cycle before EC - I was half contemplating this as it would mean that I didn't "lose" my free NHS cycle. I might consider it more if I had been paying - save the £ for what might be a more successful cycle in the future.

Good luck with whatever you decide xxxx

I've had an emotional day today (even cried at Glee - I was watching it to cheer me up!!). I don't think I'll sleep too well tonight as I'm anxious, have done nothing today and also slept late this morning.

Off to drown my worries in a cup of decaff tea accompanied by a family sized bar of fruit & nut xxxxx

Idreaminfruitandnut · 03/05/2010 22:00

Oh dear, just cried through Glee again. Must get a grip....

Penguindreams · 04/05/2010 08:00

Good luck today Idream, fingers crossed for you...

PenfoldsGlasses · 04/05/2010 08:17

Thinking of you today, I dream...

I hope all your wishes come true...
x

Idreaminfruitandnut · 04/05/2010 15:01

Thank you Penguin and Penfold.

BFN, I'm afraid xxxx

Penguindreams · 04/05/2010 15:34

Very sorry Idream, how crappy. No words will suffice, just will say I'm thinking of you. Go and have some caffeinated coffee, a glass of wine and whatever else you've been strenuously avoiding, and take care of yourself.

PenfoldsGlasses · 04/05/2010 15:51

Im so sorry Idream - they dont call it a rollercoaster for nothing.

I hope you are doing ok xxxx

Horton · 04/05/2010 17:00

So sorry, Idream. Hope you are okay and have someone to look after you and have a glass of wine with this evening.

Cerubina · 04/05/2010 17:54

Hi all

Have been lurking and not posting for a week or two so owe you all a namecheck and here goes.

Firstly to Idream, I?m so sorry that you were unlucky this time. You worked so hard to get Freddie safely on board, and were so calm and restrained during the 2WW, it feels as though you should have been rewarded. Take some solace in a hot choccie and whatever you fancy, hope you are able to pick yourself up again in a couple of days. FWIW I endorse what the ladies have been saying about the job opportunity at work ? when you are ready, go for it and try not to let the expectation that they might be funny about your TTC put you off. They should see that you are the best rocket scientist if they have any sense! But I know what you mean when you feel it is unfair that your reproductive history should be a factor at work when it isn?t for anyone else ? I keep thinking that too. My boss knows relatively rather a lot about my uterus and innermost hopes and fears and that really doesn?t seem right!?!

The rest of the rollcall I shall tackle in alphabetical order and forgive me if I miss anyone out please. Think I?ll hand round a box of Guylian seashells while you are all reading ? tuck in!

Amber sorry that your clomid cycle was a bust but good to hear you have plans for IUI this time. When do you have your first scan for that?

Welcome Angelberg, I think you?ve only posted once but you said you were having EC last week so hope you have also had a successful ET by now and are waiting patiently.

BB how did the trial run go with the drugs? I can?t imagine how frustrating it must be trying to do assisted conception in your position but it sounds like getting some drugs may be the solution and hopefully will get Mr BB where he needs to be. Well done for continuing to sound rational and understanding when it must be really challenging for you. Hope your treatment can get moving now.

Hooray Dueling! So pleased to hear that your scan went well and you saw the heartbeat and the bubba was measuring right for the dates. You mentioned you?d had a few stresses before it but I hope everything has calmed down and that you can now relax a bit, Mrs Worrywort.

Hello and welcome Frosticle, have you made any enquiries about the clinics that might be able to help you? Hope they have been able to give you some encouragement ? let us know what they say.

GGG more condolences for your BFN, I?m sorry as it seemed everything went so unbelievably well with the egg growing and embies. As you say, you have a very good stockpile of frosties and somewhere in there is your future baby! I know you said you will take a little break before FET so hello for now and do come back when you are getting ready to start again. Hope you are feeling OK.

Poor Ginger too, we had a bad run of bad luck on here and I?m so sorry you were amongst it. Hope your investigations into donor eggs are encouraging you, if that?s the route you think you might take now. How are you feeling?

Horton it must be difficult to know whether to draw a line under this cycle or keep going in the hope that your response improves. Perhaps the former is better, although hugely disappointing, since it saves you the money and the emotional energy that could mean it?s a bigger fall later if it did come to nothing. But it must be difficult to make the call for yourself. I think from memory you were on a mild stim approach this time, has your doctor said whether this was a misjudgement on their part or just one of those things? If you decide to keep going, eat a few eggs and get lots of protein on board as much as you can to help boost those follies.

Italian I?m really pleased to see you still posting on here. We wouldn?t want to lose you. Sounds as though you have had a hard few weeks and although the idea of you in a floral pinny dabbing your eyes is very cute, it?s so sad to hear that you have been feeling sad. I hope your DH gives you lots of cuddles and comfort, and your little girl too. Don?t try to rush getting over it, it was a hard knock and you had to keep yourself hoping and focused for such a long time, with disappointments in between, that it would floor a rhinoceros, let alone a slip of a greyhound like you! You have been so strong and brave. Great news that you are thinking about adoption and making some enquiries, I do think this sounds like a good course for you as another donor egg attempt would be a huge undertaking. I would be pretty daunted by it too, so any qualms and worries you have about how it will go and how you?ll manage are totally natural. Although a 6 month wait must seem really frustrating, it is probably a good idea to shift your brain out of the TTC mode and into the adoption mode. Do you know anyone in real life who?s adopted a child? Do you think it would be useful to talk to someone and ask a few questions?

I had better move on before this turns into an essay...!

Hello Penguin and I?m really pleased to hear that you are on the brink of starting another cycle. I presume it?s FET this time? Good luck for the scan this week, let us know how it goes and I hope you are on track to start downregging next week.

Penfold how are you getting on? Have you got a scan coming up soon to check that everything is well? I can imagine you feel as though you can?t stop holding your breath until you know it is OK so I hope they will be able to do that very soon.

MM congrats on leaving work and being a lady of leisure! Don?t suppose there?s much leisure in planning to emigrate though! Are you having to get your OH organised and packed? I think you said he was leaving next week so I would imagine you?ve got bags and stuff all over the place waiting to be organised. Good news that you can fit in another cycle before you go, and planning the move will help keep you focused on things other than the 2WW.

Kiwi well done for telling Cruella about the baby and great that she was (reasonably) fine about it. Must be a bit of a weight off your mind now that it?s in the open.

Hi again KC11 - I think we overlapped on here at the end of last year as I certainly remember your name. Hope the stimming is going well so far, and you are counting the days to your time off work! I?m intrigued as to what do you do, given that it is high powered and stressful...you don?t work in Idream?s rocket factory do you? Perhaps you are Gordon Brown?s PR coach? I can imagine that being stressful! But then you would be giving that up permanently in a few days, not just for a few weeks...

Apologies to anyone I?ve missed. Not much news from me really. Currently in the middle of the wait to get results back from our blood tests with the m/c specialist ? we go back in 3 weeks. I am being patient and not giving it any thought otherwise I?d be angsting over how slowly 6 weeks pass. Have been trying naturally in the meantime and had a really top-notch cycle in terms of the timing of our attempts but after a few days of allowing myself to get hopes up, started spotting yesterday and it?s been continuing today so I think it?s another big fat . Here comes a rant...

I AM BORED. I am so bored with waiting for AF to come, waiting for AF to stop, having boring sex that neither of us can be bothered with, waiting for ovulation, waiting to test...my whole life has been one big long queue for a baby for the last 2.5 years! I am also bored with being the only childless couple in most of our social get-togethers with friends and family, and bored with no one knowing what to say to us because they know we are trying, they know we have lost babies, and they daren?t mention anything to do with it. All they can think of is talking about our home renovation, and that is BORING too because it?s been going on for 6 months and still has another couple to run! (Plus it just reminds me how expensive and stressful it is, and everyone asks the same farking questions all the time anyway so I get bored repeating myself).

I will console myself that if another cycle is just starting now, it could be the last one before we do ICSI. We should get our test results in the middle of it and then, if all is well (if!), it could finally be our time to get started on this and stop just thinking about it. I will carry on trying to think positively and eat well and distract myself with other stuff, and then perhaps it will be our turn, and our house that is too big for two people will finally have another person sharing it.

and chocolate all round for a lovely group of laydeez.

PenfoldsGlasses · 04/05/2010 19:06

Hi - just a quickie as I am trying to keep off Mumsnet and keep myself calm for tomorrow.

Cerubina I know exactly what you mean - i could have written your post and multiply it by five years. I feel there is some "out there, universal" reason why I have had to wait, like both my & DH's lives weren't in the right place or something...

I have my 6 week + 6 day scan tomorrow at 1:30pm and am petrified; out of my four miscarriages, two have been missed miscarriages where I have had symptoms right up and beyond the scan so my body is fooling me into thinking all is well.

Im sorry this is a "me" post - will post properly tomorrow - if I can undo my crossed fingers!

Seconding Cerubina's and chocolate [biscuits] [biscuits] all round for a lovely group of laydeez...

Horton · 04/05/2010 20:34

Penfold, all good luck for tomorrow.

Hi Cerubina and thanks for your kind words. I had a scan this morning and the follicles are definitely growing. I had already steeled myself to say 'look, we don't care about the money, shall we just try the longest possible dose of stims and see what happens?' because I am on a short/mild protocol and my periods are really long (7+ days) and I think possibly that no real growing even started happening until my period stopped. This is all my personal opinion obviously and may have no basis in medical fact. But the follicles had grown and Geeta immediately said 'Right, let's carry on. Those follicles are definitely growing.' She also said that my womb lining was exemplary. So I had a blood test and am now on both Gonal F and Cetrotide. Totally buggered up the first Cetrotide mixing/getting it into the syringe so will have to buy at least one more kit when I see them on Thursday.

I feel quite down, actually, and am so grateful that I can come here and talk about it and you all know what I mean as it is completely impossible to talk about this stuff with anyone who hasn't been through it as they all go 'So! How are you feeling?' and it's just too hard to explain what's going through my head and why I feel so utterly weird. And the ins and outs of the whole process are just way too odd for anyone who hasn't done it to get their heads around - I remember reading all your posts before I started and just feeling completely baffled by the whole thing but here I am a week and a half later and it all makes perfect sense.

Have odd taste in mouth from the Cetrotide, too. I think this is my standard reaction to all IVF drugs.

I do really like Geeta. When she said 'Right, we're carrying on' I said 'Oh damn, I was totally going to go and buy a bottle of wine and have a glass tonight if you'd said to stop' (joking, obviously) and she said 'Don't let that stop you - you deserve a glass of wine as long as you promise it really will be only one'. So I'm having half a glass topped up with fizzy water and toasting her. She's a really nice woman, I think. Interestingly, she is bloody awful with kids. Had to take DD to my Sunday scan and she had literally no idea what to say to her where the other doctors and nurses have been really remarkably good with her!

So, enough me me me. Hope all the rest of you are doing well and I am thinking about Idream and wishing you strength. I'm sorry.

Cerubina I totally know what you mean about being bored of the whole process. DD took me two years to conceive. Then we had three more years of TTC and a miscarriage and I was thoroughly bored by the whole thing long LONG before I managed to get pregnant with DD. Much sympathy to you. We are having a house extension this year so am happy to be boring with you about that if it would help to feel anyone else is as boring as you feel you are (though obviously you aren't, really, you just feel like it)! If you feel like talking manholes and Thames Water, I can bore for England.

KiwiKat · 05/05/2010 00:18

Idream xx

Italiangreyhound · 05/05/2010 01:39

Chocobunny I am so sorry. Everyone is here if you need to spill it all out. It's not the end, please be nice to you.

Cerubina I am so sorry to hear how you feel and I do understand some of it too. I guess we all feel bored at times and want to shout about it, not that you are shouting, actually you are very eloquent. I will take your post for us all.

Penfoldglasses all best wishes, Horton don't give up. Waves to you all.

Had an argument with DH tonight and feel very fed up. He is brilliant but we are on totally different wave lengths. Turns out I have not done such a great job of hiding my disappointment at not having another baby! We are all set to try adoption but I am not a Sandra Bullock lookey-likey! I do feel stressed and I am now doubly stressed as I thought DH and I coping so well. He says he thinks my sadness at not having another baby is affecting our enjoyment of now but I think I have tried so hard for that not to happen. I am just a very emotional person and I think I was emotional even before we started trying for a baby!

Anyway, thinking of you all

Italiangreyhound · 05/05/2010 01:40

Cerubina I mean you have posted so well for so many can I share your post and not repeat all the great things you said!

Cerubina · 05/05/2010 09:09

Penfold sending you the best vibes for the scan today. I have been there, I know how utterly horrible it is when your only experience of scans is that they bring bad news and pain. We all very much hope you get the good news you deserve.

Italian, thanks for your kind words. Having read what your DH told you, I just wanted to say that if you are having trouble enjoying now then it is no surprise and certainly no bad reflection on you. If you have had a dream for a couple of years and it has been a difficult, emotional, expensive and complicated dream to pursue - which egg donation is, no doubt about it! - then when that dream fails of course you are going to need time to readjust to things. You need to grieve for the end of the hopes and dreams of carrying another baby - it's not a trivial matter, it's very deep-seated. And it is only about 2 or 3 weeks ago that this happened, so you are still in the early days. Don't feel rushed to put on a brave face or feel that you are somehow dealing with things less well than you "should".

It is great that you are looking to the future and adoption, but it is quite a big gear-change required, sort of like turning round a supertanker, so you can't just go "Oh well, I won't be having another baby myself, never mind". Carrying your husband's baby and adopting someone else's child are quite different undertakings. I wonder if it might take you a few weeks yet to let go of the donor egg dream at your own pace and then begin to pick up the adoption dream. Have you thought about visiting your ACU counsellor at all? It might help you to sort through your feelings and deal with saying goodbye to the plans for the baby, and make sure that adoption is definitely the right course for you. Don't underestimate the mental and emotional energy involved in the gear-change, and don't let anyone rush you through it. You're doing brilliantly but of course you'll still have sad days and your DH needs to support you through it (and you him).

Chin up, but please don't feel you are reacting badly to this or being over-emotional! You aren't. Promise.

Horton that's great that the follies are starting to grow and respond! But it must be really confusing, you must not know whether you're Arthur or Martha at the moment with all the ups and downs in progress. Keep a cool head, if you can, get those eggs and pulses and nuts and seeds down your neck, think "growing" thoughts and drink lots of water. Fingers crossed you have got over the hump and will get a good haul at the end of stimming.

Thanks all for knowing where I was coming from yesterday, I really think unless people have been through the grind of long-term TTC with issues, they just have no idea what's involved. I was out with friends last night who all conceived every time they made eye contact with their husbands, and although most of them are great and very supportive, they cannot know what it's really like. I don't know what women in our situation would have done before the internet came along, it would have been a bloody hard road to travel without being able to offload.

More all round! xx

Amberc · 05/05/2010 12:27

Hi all! I haven't been on for a while as I am trying to blot out the MN election believe it or not (being one of the very few Tories on MN). I just have to echo Cerubina's posts above as there is not much more I can add to it. Idream - so sorry it didn't work out this time. Will there be another attempt? Horton hurrah for growing follicles! good luck to Penfold for today's scan. Italian - again echoing Cerubina, it's only been a few weeks. I am not enjoying now either very much but that's how it is I guess.

Me? Well I am on Ovitrelle tonight and IUI Friday. Got three follies at 15/16mm yesterday so hoping they haven't jumped the gun with the ovitrelle. Still I guess they know what they are doing.

Good vibes out to everyone. I have only been trying for 15 months so I can't imagine how it feels for those trying for years. x

PenfoldsGlasses · 05/05/2010 16:09

Hi there - apologies for this selfish post (trying to negociate this on my iphone's tiny screen)

Well we got to see/hear one baby and an extremely strong heartbeat - off course I cried like one myself. Im 7weeks + 2days so still early days but extremely grateful too - thank you so much for the messages of support - I truly appreciate your kindness.

Will be back on later to catch up on everyone's personals...

PG
xxx

Amberc · 05/05/2010 16:29

How lovely Penfold - you must be ecstatic

Cerubina · 05/05/2010 17:38

Yay! What brilliant news. So pleased for you!

LeviStubbsTears · 05/05/2010 18:00

Hello all,

I posted a little bit on here a little while ago but retreated to another (smaller) thread that I had more to do with early on in its life, partly as I wasn't going through treatment and also was a bit timid about meeting all of you at once - there are quite a few of you! Italian was even kind enough to say hello to me on another thread and encourage me back, but I was ungrateful enough not to manage to join you even then.

[Though I have remained grateful for that act of electronic friendship, Italian - am really sorry to hear that things have not worked out as planned (or at least hoped) for you, but you seem as others have said to be coping with astonishing resilience and good cheer, which is really great. All the very best with the next step - as others have said, you would obviously be an amazing adoptive mum and would be doing an amazing thing for the world.]

I have, however, read your posts (everyone) intermittently for a while and (if this isn't too stalkerish) followed your ups and downs and quietly wished you all well.

Anyway, hope you don?t mind if join you all finally. I am doing IVF now, and had embryo transfer today (!). I'm 38, 4 and a half years TTC, no children, if you missed me the first time. I didn?t respond well to the drugs (only 4 follicles visible on first scan - it took a while and they had to up my dose too, Horton, if it's any comfort/encouragement), but got 6 eggs and had two blastocysts transferred ? grades 3 and 4 (where 5 is ?best?, i.e. most advanced). I don?t know whether that is good or bad or indifferent (any thoughts, folks?). Really nice to hear, Kiwi, that two fertilized eggs worked for you (I know you weren?t talking to me?!). Many congrats. If I looked at older ?Assisted Conception? threads I?d probably find them, I know, but if you can be bothered to repeat yourselves for a (sort of) newbie, any other success stories with this sort of profile would be great.

Also ? do any of you have any thoughts on whether to lie down a lot in first few days after transfer, or whether it?s ok to be up and about as normal. The clinic said I didn?t need to lie down today (even), but the piece of paper they gave me did suggest being ?sedentary? for the next few days, and a friend of mine who?s had lots of IVF (though ?only? one cycle successful ? I know some of us would be v pleased with that so not implying it?s not much) anyway, she recommended trying to lie down a bit each day to give the implanting the best chance possible.

Sorry to be so self-absorbed on my first post ? sorry to hear about those of you who are having a bad time, and conversely happy to hear that there?s some good news too. Very best wishes to all.

Idreaminfruitandnut · 05/05/2010 18:42

Hello!

Thank you so much to everyone for your kind words.

This will just be a short post now as I didn't want you to think that I'd run of and topped myself or anything! Promise to post properly in the next day or so.

I'm doing okay. Had a big cry yesterday (and several small ones). To be honest I don't feel as bad as I thought I would. I mainly just feel so tired and drained. I've spent the day with my mum today - lunch, bit of shopping (new cardi & a magazine), coffee and a muffin and then a little more shopping! When I came home I decided to put away the photo of our little embryo which has been sitting on the mantelpiece - it was quite sad saying goodbye.

As I said, I just feel very tired right now. I need to get through the next 2 days at work and then my friend and her boyfriend have invited me and DH over for a night of "food, wine & Wii" on Friday, which should cheer us up!

Speak with you later xxxxxxxxx

poppy75 · 05/05/2010 19:17

Hello guys - can I join?? I have been in and out of MN over the last four years since MC and nothing else but tests, scans and failed treatment.

I am due to start my IVF meds this week, but after reading all the posts (kiwi & idream*) didn't really consider that follicle producing etc... would be so stressful as I was just thinking of the collection/implantation.

I was hoping for some advice, am excited about that fact that in the next three months I will hopefully have more of a chance of becoming pg than I have had in the last 4 years. It also feels positive that I am doing something instead of waiting. I have been through IUI with medication and was wondering how IVF compares with it.

poppy75 · 05/05/2010 19:23

idream definately have some spoiling time, even after IUI I was exhausted, physically and emotionally. It didn't help that two of my most fertile friends fell pg 2 months before and had to tell the week I realised it didn't work. I don't really think I am ready for all this again, but don't know when I really will be. I was completely choked up when I read about your photo . Not sure why lovely people who only want to love a child have to go through all this, take care of yourself- lots of hugs coming your way

Horton · 05/05/2010 21:14

Hi all.

Levi, great to hear your story of getting so many eggs with a slow early response. And as everyone so sensibly says, it only takes one. How was your egg collection? Was it okay? That's my next hurdle so am keen to hear stories of this not being traumatic/painful/awful! FWIW, my clinic have told me that there is no need to lie down etc after transfer but obviously to relax as much as possible (mentally rather than physically).

Penfold, that's lovely to hear. Many congratulations. Hope you feel you can relax a bit now.

Italian, I totally agree that it's fine for you not to be enjoying now when you have had such a horrible disappointment so very recently. You need some time to come to terms with it, even if you do have your adoption plan to pursue. I think sometimes men are much readier to move on from these things. Sorry, that sounds a bit sexist but I do think that a man would be much more likely to think 'right, no more babies, let's move on and try adoption' and be able to totally draw a line under it much more easily. But your DH isn't the one who's had the injections and gone through it all in such a physical way so it makes sense that it would take longer for you to let go of it than for him. I think maybe you are being the opposite of over-emotional in that you are coping so well that maybe your DH doesn't see the hurt that you feel as clearly as he would if you were weeping all over the shop.

poppy, welcome and hope your IVF goes well for you. I'm afraid I don't really know anything about IUI but I have found the IVF process pretty uncomplicated in terms of the medication so hope that helps a bit.

Cerubina, "friends ... who all conceived every time they made eye contact with their husbands" has made me laugh and laugh. That really is how it feels sometimes, isn't it?

Amber, good luck for Friday!

Idream, shopping sounds good and I am not surprised you are tired. I have been thinking of you.

As for me, I have a scan tomorrow so I will let you all know how it goes. Love to everyone.

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