Assisted Conception (and the bits in between) Volume 5

[Bumpless]

Thought I'd set us up a new home! kettle's on and choc tin open.

This is a lucky start to our new thread: 2 BFPs and a fantastic fertilisation rate from Dueling!

Boobs and biscuits to everyone

Horton, best of luck. And don't worry about my 'thin girls' comment. I'm sure the nurse just said that to make me feel a little more chilled about the whole thing.

Welcome, Angelberg.

Dueling, hope you're ok, and not fretting too much.

Waves to all, feeling very superior for having washed curtains AND windows yesterday.

Rowing I am plucking up courage to email you! Hope you are well.

Alba excellent, well done, brilliant.

Hippy Hope your tingling boobs turn out to be conception connected!

Ghengis am I right in thinking you have got a bfp?

Frosticle Yes, you are saving your DD from chocolate; I always try to do the same for my DD! I think black and white photos look lovely; they tend not to show up the wrinkles!

Re clinics and donor eggs (I posted smoothing similar to someone on assisted conception so apologies for repetition!) - I'll tell you my considerations and you can let me know if you want to ask anything. I wanted a clinic where the child (if there was one) could trace the donor one day if they wished to. This may not be everyone's consideration, but it was mine. I think this rules in the UK and the USA (and maybe other places too) and rules out some other European places. No idea about the rest of the world. If this is not a consideration for you, then you can include all clinics that you like. I chose to go with a clinic that was close to home, but still about 1 and half hours away, but which did not involved going into London on public transport! My own dislike of tubes
and buses etc! (By tubes I mean the underground not fallopian ones).

However, if you are actually in London, then it does make sense to go for a London clinic.

Some clinics said if we had a child already (as we do) that we would not be eligible for donor eggs, because they did not have enough. My understanding is that you can either find a clinic that will recruit a donor for you, or find your own donor, I felt it was too hard to find my own donor and did not go down that route - having said that, if I were to do it again I would consider that if it felt right. For me it was logical to look at all clinics within driving distance of where we live, speak to them by phone and find out a few key things - their prices, their waiting lists, their upper age limit, and also look at their success rates. We chose the closest clinic with best results and reasonable costs which treated people of my age. When you look at it that way you find that some clinics rule themselves out for one reason or another. Ours offered altruistic donors and egg sharers and some have only very few egg sharers per year. If you are CMV positive (or DH is) then the wait is shorter usually so you may find that you could use a UK clinic and not wait too long. I also wanted to make sure the clinic would store any embryos so that was a consideration for us. Hope this helps.

Apologies to all that I have not been able to keep up with all the stories.

Waves and

Apologies guys, I just posted my feisty and forty post onto your thread! No idea how to remove it so there it is. Sorry.
Kiwi Thinking of you, please do tell us how exciting it is when you finally tell work!

NewMember Sorry you have the long wait, keep enjoying lots of s*x in the meantime and maybe a miracle will happen.

gleegeekgleek Thinking of you.

Horton you say you are 8 stone, I would LOVE to be 8 stone, so if a slight prick when you get the injection then you can just think, ooh that hurt, I'd better have a choc biscuit to take my mind off it!! Had to smile at the idea of your dad obviously being a man, only because I am watching Ricky Lake where no one is what they seem! No it is not nuts not to want to stick a needle in yourself but if DH is nor around to do it then you'll have to gear yourself up for it, see my biscuit tip of earlier! You will get over it, I am still jealous about you being 8 stone! (Actually I used to be 8 stone but that was a long time ago). Hope it went well tonight, no finger decapitations 9if there is such a thing!).

angelberg welcome or should I say Welkomen ?? Makes me think of the opening scenes of Cabaret the movie. Yes, it is a tall order, I still think, should I be taking tablets and we stopped treatment a week ago.

DuelingFanjo Great to hear from you. I guess you are just going to have these anxieties and so maybe the best you can do is minimise it, if you can, and just enjoy the bits you can too. All the very best. Thanks for your kind comments to me and compliment about my post.

It is quite weird, I have found it really hard to talk to people in real life about the treatment, just don't want to. . Nice to have you lot to talk to.

My news is that DH and I finally had a chat about our treatment failing (yes, a week later). We are both so busy and DH doesn't really like to chat about things too much. I think he was hoping for some s*x but instead got me, a glass of wine and a whole mess of tears! What came out of our discussions was that he would consider trying again with fertility treatment. He is much more keen to adopt, although nervous about everything because of money, we are not poor but DH is just very cautious about money and having another child by any means, and possibly my working less, would mean possible financial repercussions.

It has answered one question for me straight away, I am being made redundant this summer and a good job has come up at work and I am going to go for it, I will see if it is possible to be a job share or part-time and if yes, I will go for it. That should put hubby's fears at rest for a while (even if I don't get it - it shows willing!).

I am now quite torn, DH says I am a very good parent (praise indeed from someone who does not offer his opinions lightly) but I am still very nervous about adoption, about parenting a child who has been hurt perhaps already in life. I am not worried about loving a child that has come from elsewhere (than me) - I mean I quite grew to love the hamster we looked after, didn?t I? Yes, I am being flippant but I am not worried about lack of love on my part but maybe not being able to cope etc.

At least DH is open, which means if we do choose adoption I will not resent him for not allowing me another go. It is frustrating you can?t do both together, you have to be committed to one or the other, adoption or fertility. I do understand that and why, I guess I have never been good at making up my mind. If there really is a child out there that we could parent then I almost want to go for that option but I am just scared and still raw from the whole IVF thing. I think I need a break from it all.

But I will hang around here and on the forty and feisty thread a bit too if you don?t mind. Off to post a similar message on the assisted conception thread so Kiwi please don?t both reading it twice!
Waves and choco boobs to all

Yes, this is the assisted conception thread, I know, I had better go to bed, keeping track of two threads is doing my head in!

Hi. I'm struggling to get to grips with everyone's current status so forgive me.

newmember - welcome to the thread. I know the waiting time seems like forever. I had floods of tears the day the consultant told me that I'd have to go on a waiting list for IVF at a different hospital to the one i'd got used to. That was in August 2008 which is now 20 months ago. It has gone by really quickly and there's nothing to say that you won't fall PG naturally. I really recommend eating healthy things like sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds and dried fruit eg cranberries. At first I was not sure about the dryness and texture but now i'm hooked on them. Such an easy snack to have on my desk or in handbag. They contain folate which is the natural form of folic acid. The folic acid supplements we're all taking is an artificial form. The natural form is easy to find in a lot of foods (Google comes in handy here).

Also, woman could not need to drink more water and fluids when she's TTC. I literally have to remember to drink water during the day.

I've done 6 injections so far and my scan to check for lack of a cyst is 4 May. Seems a long way off but i know that it's not really. I am trying to find a positive frame of mind. My sister in law is expecting and has started to show and i want it to be me soon.

KC11

Thank you very much for your reply! I know you are right, i cant believe we have been on the list for 7 months already, time really does fly by! It really is a postcode lottery tho, some girls i have spoken to before only need to wait 4/5 months and treatment would start!!!! Shocking that some of us need to hold off for 24 months! Thats just the way it goes I suppose!

Ok rant over.... lol

Is this your 1st go?

NewMember

Please let nobody be jealous of me being eight stone. It is not all it's cracked up to be. I may be eight stone but I am a wobbly flabby untoned kind of eight stone (that's what having a baby does to your stomach I suppose!) so no need for envy. I am small rather than perfectly formed, IYSWIM!

Second injection successfully completed. I promise I won't tell you about every single one. I'm just feeling quite pleased with myself. Not looking forward to the ones you have to mix but my early success with the Gonal F makes me sure I will get the hang of it!

May I ask a question? I am wondering if anyone else who's been on Gonal F had any side effects. I am currently undergoing the most extraordinary bout of tummy rumbling. It's been happening pretty much continuously for about four hours, interspersed with some quite fearsome farting (sorry, horrible and TMI). Also, I get a really odd taste in my mouth about ten minutes after doing the injection. Did anyone else get that? It's almost like a slight numbness on the roof of my mouth and a weird medicinal taste.

Do I sound nuts? Do you think this all sounds normal? Or should I be concerned? Thinking of emailing nice doctor at the clinic to ask but I don't want to sound barking mad.

Evening All!

Wow - I go off the radar for a few days and we get a load of new ladies! Welcome!! Willkommen!!

Just a quickie (again...) as I've left it a bit late to do a proper post, but just wanted to say "Hi".

I'm (so far...) doing pretty well with my 2WW. Obviously I'm compulsively knicker checking but I know realistically it's a bit soon for anything to be happening and if he's still in there, Freddie will only just have decided to set up home. My boobs are killing me and I am so hot all the time (I mean temperature hot...), which is not like me at all - I'm a bit of a cold bod. But I do know that this is the work of the progesterone rather than impending AF or pregnancy [Idream rather chuffed with herself for being so sensible emotcion].

Test date is Tuesday 4th May - have booked the day off work.

Promise to do personals soon - Italian, I owe you several!!

Chocolate all round!! xxxx

Horton just read your post re: Gonal F. I was on that and I didn't have any of those side effects apart from (unfortunately) the farting. However I didn't really respond to the drug very much at all. What dose are you on? I was started on 150iu (might as well have been injecting chocolate) then upped to 225iu (not much better) and then finally 300 iu, apart from the incident which shall be known as the "The Night of the Mega Dose".

I'm sure it's worth a quick e-mail to the doc if you're concerned xx

Greetings to newbies. Choco all the best, got three galaxy eggs, one for me, one for ma and one for sis (for a squid) a result, thinking of you. Go Freddie go.

Horton Ask at the clinic, always best. Probably perfectly natural but who knows, I tried Googling but it was not clear so ask. (Always my mantra for symptoms!).

Waves and choco hugs to all

Had another big chat with DH about adoption verses fertility treatment. Me instigated! As ever.

horton You are not alone. I also got the strange taste just after using the gonal f. Not sure I had the wind but i'm quite windy normally (my DH will def agree with that!) I have a very starchy diet. I love pasta and bread.

idream I am with you on the hot flushes during the night. I would wake up 2 or 3 times every night. I found it helped to have a damp flannel at the bedside and just lay it on my forehead or neck. I'm having nighttime hot flushes now with the down regulating drug Buserelin. Hopefully only another week of that before I start the stimulating drug Menopur. This is my third IVF attempt (luckily all of them have been NHS funded (post code lottery)). I feel a bit down and hormonal today and had a poor night what with the hot flushes and stomach/lower back pain. A sure sign that AF is just around the corner, whch means everything is on track. Yippee.

I do not yet have any children and i'm 36. I sometimes feel my family and friends like on a planet i'd like to live on rather than just visit for the odd afternoon and then have to come back to planet "Just Me and Hubby". I know i'm not that old but i really feel i've been very patient and clean living so it should be granted to me now. Over five years patience should have earned me some brownie points with the big man upstairs that blesses people with children. Anyway must get some work done as I'm taking at least 5 weeks unpaid annual leave starting on 10 May so that I can devote my thoughts and energy to being calm and relaxed instead of stressed by my job. It helps that the spring is here as was a spring baby and i love the garden coming to life. On my time off i'm going to have time do to give TLC to the plants and myself.

Good to hear about others having farting/strange tastes in the mouth. I googled and er, intestinal discomfort' seems to be pretty standard as a side effect so no longer concerned about that!

I'm on 150, Idream. I get a scan on Thursday to see how things are progressing and if I will need more or less of it as I continue my treatment. Am pleasantly surprised at how okay it is so far. I was really dreading it.

Horton I will try not to be jealous of you but I am sure you look fab.

Idreaminchocolate I am thinking of you.

KC11 It is really hard; my heart goes out to you. Here?s hoping for a great result for you soon.

My hubby is fantastic. Tonight he ran home from work because I had the car, he made dinner because DD had to go to the docs and I took her, he put DD to bed and he washed up because I was too pissed off to do it. Then he fixed the loo! Or rather he is still doing it.

DH is not keen to pursue anymore fertility treatment, although he has kindly not ruled it out. We had long thought of adoption and so now we have to decide whether we will just pursue adoption or will do nothing or will look at fertility treatment again.

I think for both of us the cost and the waiting are a huge factor, plus the disappointment of treatment not working. I am very nervous at the idea of going on another long waiting list. I am assuming if we went for another donor egg scenario the wait would be the same, 14 months. I did wonder about trying to 'recruit' my own donor but I think that would be hard and I wonder if the cost would still be the same.

Love and waves to all. and arrow prayers for us all.

Italian, it does sound like maybe adoption might be the answer. Would you be looking to adopt in the UK or elsewhere? And how do you feel about an older child? There must be so much to consider! Good luck in your journey, whatever you decide to do. And your husband sounds very helpful. That must be a great help while you are still getting over your disappointment.

I meant to say, KC11, hope you enjoy your time off. It sounds like exactly what you need. Five years must be very hard. It took us two years the first time and I was really quite nutty by the time I got pregnant and filled with all kinds of irrational rage about other people having babies. It was not a nice place to be. Good luck.

Sorry to barge in on your thread - I'm hoping one of you can help me.

Does anyone know which London fertility clinics will consider assisting a couple where the woman is 45?

I've had a look on the HFEA website and done an "advanced search" on clinics catering for women over 44 but then when I look at the websites for the clinics it suggests, they seem to stop at 42.

Obviously, at 45, time is not in abundant supply and now my DP has agreed to going to a clinic, I need to find one in double quick time and make an appointment.

BIG thank you, in advance!

Right. I'll er, get back to work now.

I would ring Create Health and ask them, Frosticle. I'm with them at the moment, currently doing first IVF cycle, and they have a good record with older women and poor responders. I am 41, though, and considered to be fairly old. Website here. I don't know if they will do IVF for a woman over 45, but they do list success rates for women aged 40-45.

Horton Thanks for your thoughts. We would consider older as in not a baby, as in maybe 18 months, maybe even two but as our own DH is not yet five and a half the oldest I would really consider would be three (maybe by that point our dh would be 6). If you see what I mean. They do like there to be a biggish gap, 2 or 3 years between kids with your own one being the older.

Yes DH is great but not quite so fab as the loo is now leaking!

Frosticle Hi, glad to see you.

Lister Fertility Clinic (Hospital) > treats women up to any age I think, within reason, Assisted Conception Unit, King?s College Hospital goes up to 50 I think.

I am not sure about The Harley Street Fertility Centre, Guys Hospital Assisted Conception Unit, Guy's & St Thomas' Hospital NHS Foundation Trust, IVF Hammersmith, Centre for Reproductive Medicine (St Barts London), and Assisted Reproduction and Gynaecology Centre >.

Chelsea & Westminster Hospital Assisted Conception Unit and CRM London (Marylebone) used to be 45 but worth asking as you are still 45 what the situation would be.

I CANNOT recommend any of these, I just got a list together a few years ago of places I found out about. Good luck.

Chocobunny Had a Mars ice cream and thought of you. How are the rockets nd how is Freddie. Go Freddie.

Mojangles, Penfoldglasses, Cerabina think ing of you all my dears.

Tonight I had a meltdown, just a mini one really, just needed it, kept talking to DH and wiping my eyes on my pinny like someone out of that Laura Ingles TV programme. Feeling better now. Off to clean the house and drink wine.

Waves to all Sorry to have missed so many out, bit busy with all the cleaning, charity brunch tomorrow.

Hi!

Italian - I didn't have you down as a pinny wearer! I'm sorry that I've haven't been giving you much attention lately, but I have been following your progress. I was SO disappointed for you when your cycle wasn't successful. Your book sounds very interesting ? I?d be happy to contribute if you needed any contributors / case studies / vox pops (I have nothing to say about guinea pigs though). I echo AmberC when she said that any little boy or girl would be incredibly lucky to have you as a mummy should you decide to adopt.

I understand that you and DH may be finding it difficult to talk to each other about this ? I don?t think that my DH and I have always communicated enough about our difficulty to conceive, the IVF and the possible outcomes. He has opened up a lot since last Monday, though.

Enjoy your charity brunch tomorrow ? have you been baking? If so what did you make?

Gleegeekgleek and Gingerwine - I have also totally neglected you. Very sorry to hear your sad news. I hope that you are both coping okay {big hugs] xxx

Hi Cerubina, hope you?re doing okay. Any news on your next cycle? xx

Cerubina and Italian - as predicted, the 3 visits to B&Q culminated in a half un-grouted shower and a B&Q shower curtain hanging around my (showerless) bathroom - still in its packet. I am still taking lukewarm baths ?.

PenfoldsGlasses - I hope you and your bump are doing well!

Horton how are your injections going? Anymore side effects? Good luck for your scan tomorrow! Let us know how you get on!

MercenaryMom - how are you getting on?

PenguinDreams and Islegrin - ?Hello!? if you?re lurking! Hope you?re both okay

AmberC - I hope you?re doing okay. You?re doing fantastically with your weight loss. I?m very inspired by you. I really hope that I am next pregnant next week as I?ve been comfort eating A LOT these last couple of weeks and have put on a bit of weight and feel a bit crap about the way I look. If I?m not successful I?m going to feel really shitty about myself.

Babybarrister - how?s things with you?

Also big bumpy hellos to all pregnant graduates who may still be lurking! (Dueling ? thank you for your positive thoughts xx)

Welcome KC11, angelberg (where abouts in Germany are you, BTW?) I hope that his thread can help ease your journey through this tough time. Make yourself comfy and grab a cup of tea and a choccy biscuit! Xx

KC11 I know how you feel about planet ?Just Me & Hubby?. I don?t really have any friends or family who have babies, but I?m sure people will start having them soon, which may be difficult for me if we?re not successful with IVF soon-ish. We have talked quite a bit about making a happy life together ? just the 2 of us. It?ll be very hard for me to accept, but we love each other very much and are very good companions! (We?ve decided that we?re going to spend all our time and money on fancy holidays, cars and houses!!) I am very that you?ve taken so much time off work while you have your treatment (I think that is a fantastic idea), and also that you have a garden (I find gardening SOOO relaxing) ? I do have a garden but it is currently a building site due to the house renovations.

I?m still doing okay with my 2WW, although I didn?t sleep very well last night having funny dreams about my test next week.

Today I found out that my wonderful boss is leaving but also that this opens up a job position (quality controlling the other rocket scientists) which I have been waiting for for 18 months. This job has always had my name on it, but I am now worried that I won?t get it as they know I am trying for a baby (I know legally that can?t stop them giving it to me, but we all know there are ways around that), and that if I benchmark and someone else also does (I think there will be a lot of interest) ? they will give it to the other person. I feel that this is all really unfair because I don?t want to have to have IVF to have a baby, and because I do have to have IVF, I?ve had to tell my boss ? which I wouldn?t have needed to do if I could get pregnant like normal people. And also if I never get pregnant ? well, let?s not even go there.

Right, better get to bed ? love, hugs and chocolate boobies to everyone

Frosticle, we went through Homerton Hospital and I'm 44, so might be worth looking into.

Horton and Italian thank you so much for the information. I am definitely going to check them out and make an appointment. Thank you, thank you!!

Good luck for your treatment/scan, Horton. Italian the Laura Ingles/Little House on the Prairie reference made me laugh (sorry, that's probably a deeply inappropriate response)! I think its a very good idea to have a good cry - or a little cry. I'm sure you're a lovely mummy, btw. Friends of mine recently adopted a little boy. They were expecting a really rough ride with him, esp for the first few months while he settled in as he had not had an easy life. However, he settled in brilliantly, is very happy and they have had no problems at all with him. Anyway, best wishes for whatever you decide.

Morning!

I'm panicking a bit - my boobs have stopped hurting. I'm worried thaht his means that it's all over. I thought that maybe I'm just getting used to the progesterone, but then I thought that if I was pregnant that they would probably hurt anyway. My boobs always hurt in the lead up to my period (they even started hurting the day after my EC last week - before I started taking the progesterone).

I don't know what to think. I think I may be going mad.

I'm starting to worry about how I'm going to handle it next week if it doesn't work out and I'm upsetting myself already.

Arghhhhh......

Oh, poor Idream, try not to panic. I did have very painful breasts when I was pregnant but equally I know plenty of people who barely noticed any difference, especially this early on.

Had my scan this morning and it didn't go very well. I actually had more decent-sized follicles last month on no drugs than I do this month. Last month I had 15 and this month it's 8. So I have to double my dosage of the Gonal F to 300 and go back on Saturday morning for another scan. Am really fed up. I had hoped that because all my scan and test results were so good, I would respond a bit better than this. So far I don't seem to actually be responding at all. Very disheartening and I should probably take my own advice about not panicking, I think...

Idream hope you are not worrying too much. I know just what it's like and wish I could give you reassurance. My boobs were on and off achey.

Had some good news today - saw a heartbeat (not twins, just the one) at the scan and measuring 7 +1 which is good. Am so relieved.

Also wanted to post a link to this video about infertility. I think it's wonderful, though might make you cry. Really sums up for me what it's like.

Hope all are ok? xx

Horton I had only 6 eggs in the end and 4 which fertilized, we still managed to get 2 good embryos so don't give up hope. I know how disappointing it is.

How lovely that you saw a heartbeat! Fantastic news. And thanks for the reassuring words.