Assisted Conception (and the bits in between) Volume 5

[Bumpless]

Thought I'd set us up a new home! kettle's on and choc tin open.

This is a lucky start to our new thread: 2 BFPs and a fantastic fertilisation rate from Dueling!

Boobs and biscuits to everyone

Keeping the first post short as it gets repeated at the top of every page!

Dueling that's brilliant, well done you! Are you having a day 3 transfer or going for blasts? Sending good growing dividing vibes to your little embies.

Kiwi is it weird that I'm more excited for you than for myself??? What was your HGC level? Mine was 132 at 15 dpEC, which apparently is consistent with one baby (Mo). Just booked 6 week scan for next Monday which will tell us either way. Since I ahve almost no symptoms that I can't just put down to all the drugs, it'll also tell us whether Mo's still with us.

Italian you've been having a busy time! LoL to your volunteering perfect oestrogen levels to please the nurses! You must be so relieved that you're finally getting to the starting line.

Off now for 3 day conf and may not be able to post - hugs to all xxx

Yay - found you!

my transfer is Thursday so is that day 3 (my collection was Monday)? I'm having assisted Hatching and trying not to look up all the things which can go wrong!

xx

Thank heavens - there you are! It was something of a heart-in-the-mouth moment when I realised that my support network had moved on, but commonsense prevailed ... Bumpless, I am embarrassed to say that I have no idea what HGC levels are, should I phone the nurse tomorrow to ask her? I'm having a scan on 14th April, which will be about 5 weeks after ET. You'd better tell me what other questions I need to ask - I really have no idea! And when are you going to change your name?

Dueling, will be thinking of you on Thursday, and looking forward to hearing that all went well.

Italian, I love how excited you are.

Come on everyone else, we're over here!

DuelingFanjo wow, four I hope this will go so well for you. We are so nearly cycle buddies and you are really giving me every encouragement for this to work for us all!

Bumpless whoopie, six week scan, can it really have come so far. Go Mo!

Yes, come and join us, the water is fine!

Idream did you watch One born every minute? A sad one this time. Hope you have found this thread OK...I mean found it without problems not like it!

Cerubina how?s it going?

Where is our own Angelina Jolie MM?

No news from the old timers like Gingerwine and Fairygodmother1, Ficam and Flibbertywidget riggly are you still down-reging!

Here's hoping Isle, Penguin, Rosie, PerfectDromedary, LondonLottie and others make it over here.

It is fab, so spacious!

Chocolate boobs for all the girls

Oooh just seen the latest Specksavers ad with the guy on the beach, have to say it made me laugh!

Waves and smiles to all, nothing new to report except I have had sinus type headache for last day and I am not feeling like a pin cushion at the moment!

Off to soak in the tub and listen to Zita! S*x was on offer but after 24 hours of sinus headache strangely feeling less than lusty!

Found yalls! Am so thrilled for all the good news that's currently happening on this thread.

I'm mostly lurking because I'm in the waiting zone and don't want to think too hard about upcoming treatments - we won't start until June, which seems AAAAGES away. But fingers crossed for everyone that the lucky spell continues!

OK, we have a little problem. I accidentally started a Part 5 thread without seeing that Bumpless had started this one. You did yours first, so I think you probably have seniority.

Will go and stick a message on the other thread, and then perhaps cut and paste all the postings from there onto here, so that we are all on the same page.

Sound like a plan?

Here are all the posts off the other thread - have stuck the name of the poster at the top and hopefully put a line in between each one so you can see who's who. Sorry for being such a dipstick!

Cerubina:
Time for a new thread as part 4 is now full!

This calls for a new packet of biscuits I think - I'll just throw out those horrible rice crackers someone left lying around...that's better.

Dueling that is amazing news, you are in great shape now for ET on Thursday. Are they planning to put back two?

Kiwi also great news that the blood test confirmed you were not seeing things! I know what you mean about milestones, there are so many little individual steps to getting to the end goal that you don?t dare get ahead of yourself, but you have just managed to leap the biggest hurdle of all so you are doing brilliantly.

Cerubina:
Now sorry for a bit of me me me but I am having a hard couple of days. I think I was doing really well with things but it?s just catching up with me a bit. I?ve had about 10 days since the bleeding stopped, so I thought I was mid-cycle, but then yesterday evening it started up in earnest and I had a really heavy night of it. Since this would only be about day 21 (if we are counting from when I think the m/c started) then this is really early for a period. I know there are probably no rules when it comes to the post-m/c cycle but I am so hacked off.

I think it might be a period as I feel totally tearful and emotional, as if the hormone levels have crashed, and last night as I was lying in bed I had a wave of feeling unable to cope with the stupid mundane things I had to do today ? like wrapping up a birthday present and taking it to the post office, for Pete?s sake.

I just miss my baby and I feel really hard done-by today. Have been welling up at my desk. I'm also a bit concerned by the stupid cycle and it reminds me how hard it is doing all the monitoring, trying to keep up the ?trying? and dealing with the uncertainty, disappointment, jealousy and all that plus working and living as normally as you can do. Thought I was doing better than this...

___

Gingerwine:
Hello ladies. I wonder if I could re join you.

cerubina I'm so sorry you are having a horrible time. I'm not sure whether the bleeding is a period or not but I'm sure your hormones are all over the place and I think it is completely normal to be feeling like you do. I hate to think of you welling up at work. It is so hard trying to hold things together isn't it. You need to give yourself a lot of time to come to terms with the loss of your baby. That's something that is never easy and even more so if their are problems getting pregnant in the first place. Can you make some time to spend doing something you would enjoy with your DH? Any chance of some pampering and treating yourselves at the weekend? I know nothing will take the pain away. Maybe just letting it out on MN will help a little.

I have been away for a few months I'm afraid but I have been checking in occasionally. I think I just needed a break from even thinking about getting pregnant to be honest. For those that don't know me my DH and I had unsuccessful ICSI in October last year. It was our first attempt and considering I have a low AMH I responded quite well so our consultant has encouraged us that it would be worth having another go. Since then I have started a new job which has been pretty busy and kept me distracted. Now it's time for another go and I am waiting for AF which I reckon will start tomorrow. I am on the short protocol so it could all be done within 15 days or so and I could be on the 2WW! I thought I would feel excited at the prospect of trying again, but now it's here I am dreading it. I don't mind the physical stuff although it's not nice but it's the emotional stuff I can't face. I am just dreading another failure. I don't think we can afford to do this again so it may be our last shot. I have been feeling emotional all day and now I just want it all to go away. I know my DH really wants to give it another go but my heart is not in it at the moment. What do you think ladies? Am I just being a bit cowardly? Is it just my PMT hormones on overdrive? Would I regret it if I chickened out and gave up on the whole thing?

On a positive note (and sorry for being so self absorbed) massive CONGRATULATIONS to bumpless or one of your new names! Lovely to hear good news from people I remember from before. And also to kiwikat - it's so good to hear postive stories.

Hello to everyone else.

_

Idreaminchocolate:
Evening! Woo - new thread, new biscuits - my kind of thread!!

Firstly, Cerubina, you poor thing (big hug and hairstroke). so sorry to hear that you're feeling so down, although if it's any consolation I think that how you're feeling is probably completely normal and part of the grieving process. Does DH know how you're feeling? Don't go through this alone (of course you're not alone with us, but you know what I mean) xxxx

Gingerwine, I wasn't around back in October, but welcome back! I hope we can all help you here. FWIW, I think that if you're up for it it's worth one last shot - I'm not sure I could live with the "what ifs".

Italian! How ya doin' Senora? Glad to hear that you've had such a good (if somewhat busy) day. That radio prog sounds really good (I love radio 4!) - I think I might look it up! The experiment with the raisin sounds interesting - I have a habit of wolfing my food down. I'm at your self-diagnosis of your oestrogen levels for the nurses, Dr. Italian!!

I didn't know that bad gums could be detrimental to pregnancy - in what why? And also, what do you mean by bad gums? (I'm always looking for things to add to my worry list!!).

I am still being a very "Wonderous Woman" - my bleeding / discharge is relentless (as in not stopping rather than particularly heavy) and no amount of Microgynon is going to get in its way! I called the clinic and they were relatively unconcerned, but I'm not very happy that I'm still bleeding at day 14 - esp when I'll probably have another period in about 2 weeks time (BTW - I'm getting the full "period experience" - cramping and v. sore ).

I have come to the conclusion that (re: IVF) everyone knows what's going on with them, but get confused when they read about other people. I suppose that because we're all at different clinics that's going to give some variance of treatment to start with, and then when you factor in individual "issues" you get a huge range of different treatment & drug protocols (or maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better ).

I like Easter for quite a few reasons (and yes, many of them do involve chocolate bunnies...). I'm not particularly spiritual (although I did enjoy telling the Easter story to a Muslim colleague the other day!) but I like the fact that the weather is getting better, the days are getting longer, nature's waking up and I always seem to get to see lots of my friends and family! I'm also quite fond of the limited edition Mr. Kipling Easter orange and lemon mini battenbergs . Yes, you've SO got my number!

KiwiKat - how's your litter? Pleased that your blood test confirmed How is your DH reacting now?

Dueling - congratulations on your 6 little embies! That's brilliant news. Good luck for Thursday and make sure you look after yourself until then .

Hugs, kisses and choccy biccies to all other ladies xxxx

_

Babybarrister:
good idea to have new thread! we will be doing EC in a few weeks time ....have just worked out one of reasons I felt so irritated by process - consultants's letter setting out process had never arrived so mu only knowledge as to what was going to happen was derived from MN .....!

__

and now back to normal service...

Hello, all. Found you.

Cerubina, I felt totally all over the place emotionally after my miscarriage back in December, so I think that's completely normal. A friend gave me a great piece of advice which was just to let myself be as mad (in the sense of loony) as I wanted for a bit and get it all out of my system because everyone feels a bit insane after a miscarriage. Oddly, it did help that I felt allowed to just let go and cry and do whatever I felt like. I had the odd day off work when it all got a bit much. I also think that a bit of weirdness with bleeding etc is only to be expected - it will take a cycle or two for your hormones to calm down. I think I had a short first cycle, too, but am now back to normal.

Kiwi! Congratulations! So pleased for you.

I've found you all! (after reading through the now defunct other part 5 thread until finding a message at the bottom saying I was on the wrong thread!)
Anyway, mega congrats to Kiwi and also to DuelingFanjo - four fertilised eggs sounds great, good luck for tomorrow.
So much exciting news
I'm still downregging for now, no specific side effects but just feeling really tired and run down. I'm off to find some chocolate.

riggles - look no further - here's a big bar of fruit & Nut from me! [huge bar of fruit & nut emotcion].

I'm glad we've all managed to meet up - I got a bit confused when I logged on as I thought - "This isn't the thread I posted on last night!!". Thanks to Cerubina for sorting out all the posts

Italian - I didn't watch OBEM minute last night as I'm trying to get to bed earlier and 9pm - 10pm is now my time for doing the washing up and getting ready for bed. I will watch it on the i-player thingy though and then we can have a chat about that. If it's sad though - I WILL cry.... You're sounding quite bouncy at the moment - have you been taking lots of sinus medication????

Now I've found you!!! Well I'm still waiting for AF to start so I can call the clinic and make my first scan appointment. Still dreading it and still very fed up. I am a real grump. My poor DH!!!

Great news DuelingFanjo - Hope ET goes well. You have done well to get this far and each step you make the chances of success go up a little (or so I was told).

Bumpless So pleased for you. Not too long now til Monday. Hold on tight 'Mo'!!

Hello everyone. I don't recognise some of the names from when I was around before and I can't quite keep up with who is cycling and who is not but I will catch up soon.

(((( Cerubina )))) I?m so sorry you?re feeling so blue. I?m sure it?s no help for me to agree with everyone that your hormones must be in uproar and it?s no surprise that you?re missing your baby dreadfully. You?ve been so strong and wonderful that it must come as a shock to have such an uncontrollable emotional hit, but seen from over here it?s completely understandable. I really hope you?re going to manage to give yourself a bit of time and rest. Meanwhile we?re here for you to download on. Thanks for merging our two homes by the way!

Gingerwine good to see you again, although not good that you?re in a quandary. IMHO, I think you should be sure you want to go round again before starting another cycle, it?s a massive thing to undertake even when you?re sure you want to. And although there?s no real evidence for this, I can?t believe that your mindset doesn?t affect the outcome in some way. My worst cycle was last August when I went at it in a hysterical rush after 2 previous failures, very stressed and not recovered, and had a far worse result than the previous one. On the other hand, since you?re about to start, maybe you?ll feel better as soon as you?re actually underway! Very good luck!

Idream boo to the bleeding! Surprised the clinic haven?t been a little more forthcoming about it. I had an endless period at the start of my DE cycle but that was due to the downregging ? the signal to stop bleeding and start building up the womb lining was delayed until I started taking oestrogen, so probably not the same thing as is causing yours.

Kiwi How are you feling? HGC is the hormone they measure to tell if you?re pregnant. Reason I was asking is apparently the levels can give you an indication of whether one or more embies implanted. It?s not exact but might be worth asking!

Hi PerfectDromedary (UnimpeachableUngulate?) great to see you sounding so chipper! What plans till the big June kick-off?

Dueling very good luck for ET tomorrow! Maybe take a tip from Kiwi the ET Master and take some time for a big relaxation and visualisation first?

Waves to Italian Riggly and Horton

I?ve decided I?m too chicken to change my name until after the scan next week! I need to see that Mo?s still with us and I almost believe he/she isn?t, since there?s no real evidence, I?m not sick, no achey boobs, and all the cramps and blood pressure crashes and lack of AF could be drug-induced. I haven?t dared join an anti-natal thread either, this feels like my spiritual home, I hope you don?t mind me hanging on (don?t make me go out there with the real pregnant people, it?s scary?)

Bumpless, just wanted to say that in my first pregnancy (the result of which is asleep upstairs looking like an angel) I had no sickness or any symptoms, either. It was plain sailing all the way. Hope your pregnancy is as easy as mine was!

Thanks Horton V scared, just started bleeding, and am at conference and supposed to be hosting the external speaker for the evening so can't just take to my bed. Desperately hoping I was just to brutal with a Cyclogest pessary but afraid it's more than that...

Oh Bumpless. I'm so sorry, how scary. You absolutely MUST get someone else to do your job for you and lie down/go to A&E depending on how scared you are. You poor thing. Pretend you have diarrhoea/vomiting or something if necessary. How much blood? Red blood needs immediate attention, I think, but brown blood might be old and not an issue. FWIW, I know lots of people who had bleeding in early pregnancy and their babies were fine. Really hope your baby (babies?) are too.

Bumpless I do hope you are ok.

I am having last minute panics. If there weren't still 4 embryos the clinic would have called me, right?

bumpless Thankyou for your kind words. I am still not looking forward to it but I think it is simply because I now don't expect it to work! Stupid really. Quite a few people have a failed cycle and then a positive one. If I am being rational I know that we have given ourselves several months to recover from last time, have been eating and drinking sensibly and taking vitamins etc... Therefore this should be the best possible time to give this our last shot. Perhaps my reluctance is more to do with starting what will most likely be our final attempt. If I put it off I am putting off the point that we accept it is not going to happen. Does that make any sense to anyone? I'm not sure I can bear the "what ifs" if we don't do it. Right I'm beginning to talk myself into it!!

Good luck tomorrow Duelling

Off to watch TV now and relax!!

Oh bumpless I just added my post without refreshing my screen first. I'm so sorry this is happening. Make whatever excuse you can but I really think you should rest. As the others said though I know lots of people who have bled in early pregnancy and all has been ok. You do not deserve this. I am thinking of you so much.

Bumpless, hope you're ok - let us know, we're all thinking of you.

Dueling, I only had two embies, and you have 6, so you're ahead of the game already. I'm sure it'll all go well, and we'll be waiting here to hear. Try and wrap yourself in the loving, chocolatey thoughts that we'll be sending. (God, I send like a total hippy - I'm not, but I really believe it helps!)

Cerubina, hope you're feeling a bit better.

Italian, don't know about you, but it's going to take quite a while before SWI becomes something I would actually choose to do for fun. I've been gritting my teeth and doing it For A Reason for so long now - over two years. Gotta change that mindset, I guess ...

Sweet dreams, all.

Dueling really good luck for tomorrow. Don?t panic. I am sure it is fine. I have remembered to shoot up that arrow prayer. I just wish you all the very best.

riggly good luck with all the down regging.

Cerubina how are you feeling? I was so sorry to read how you felt and I wish there was something I could say to make it feel better. Maybe all I can say is that it will get better. I think this is a bit of a blip, not part of regular life. As you said when you put the post from the other thread on,
and now back to normal service... yes, normal service will be resumed and I feel sure it will be. But for the time being maybe this grieving process is all a part of it.

Waves and hugs to you Horton too.

Idream I have got through a whole pack of sinus medication. My nose feels blocked and I just want to get rid of this flamin? cold!

I thought for a minute that you were going to say you went to bed at 9.00!

Gingerwine I understand totally how you feel. This is our last attempt. If it fails we will probably look into adoption. We have one dd aged 5 but we do want another.

It?s good to hear you're back, I?m sorry you are here again but it?s good if we can support each other. I think you left the thread before I joined, but I did read about you. I am just about to have IVF (possibly with ICSI) with Donor Eggs. As you are about to go into this cycle I do hope you will be able to find a positive and encouraging attitude to help you through it.

I think we are quite fortunate in this country (I am not sure if you are in this country! Are you in Scotland?) Anyway, what I mean is in the western world, although it is expensive it is also at least safe, the staff (that I have encountered) have been very kind and caring, and I think that some clinics get amazing results. So although it is hard and stressful, it is good.

I wonder if my sinus headaches are as a result of the uncertainly and tension (or maybe too much screen time and late nights, or maybe just a cold!) but anyway, even though it is very stressful at times, I also think it is good. There are glimpses of excitement, I just really hope you will begin to feel that excitement.

Bumpless I hope all is OK. Take it easy, rest up and relax as much as you can. I hope the scan goes well, I still can?t believe it is six weeks! Go Mo . I had a little bleeding at 8 weeks and at 14 and all was fine.

Bumpless I am sure I speak for all of us when I say you can stay with us, we will not push you out of our boat, stay as long as you like Bumpless you are an inspiration.

Kiwi I do like S*X sometimes, I really do but hubby always waits until it is bedtime, to even think of it, which means he is dog tired and ready to sleep and insomniac that I am I am ready to sit on the computer for 3 hours. I have said lots of times can he suggest it earlier. I think it helps to just be open to it and then surprised that it is more fun than I was expecting. We have a very good relationship most of the time so I am not worried but I think for me it is just a matter of making time for it. Plus putting a lock on the bedroom door helped! We tend to get a little visitor at midnight each night otherwise! (No we don?t leave the door locked all night, that would not work, but it just means peace for a bit).

I?ve been watching the American version of the office, it is really funny!

Bumpless, sending you good vibes. Hope all is okay.

Hi all - I haven't been on for a bit what with one thing or another. I have been doing a lot of thinking and very selfishly I just needed to move away from pregnant ladies for a few days to help me try to make decisions (back to that later).

Firstly Bumpless - do let us know how you are. I agree you should rest and also not to worry unless the bleeding is heavy/red in which case you should go and see your clinic or call them. Fingers crossed it's just a little spotting.

Duelling - excellent news for you and mega luck for ET!

Everyone else a big hi!

I want to ask some advice from donor egg recipients. I am very much considering egg donation for my next cycle. As we are private and I have seen the costs for an egg donor cycle it would mean that we couldn't afford to try one more time and then move onto donor if the cycle failed. It's pretty much donor or take my chances next cycle. I am very stuck at what to do. I have no problem with a dobnor egg as I know I would love my child just as much as had it been conceived with my own egg but I wantd to ask about the legal side of things. What happens if you split with your OH? As a non biological parnet do youbhave the same rights as a biologiocal parent? Also would the donor have rights - I mean is it all totally confidential? Could they try to trace their child? I am very confused now as I though if it was slightly more than regular IVF we may be able to stretch to 2 more cycles but it's lots more as I think you might have to pay for the donors drugs etc. Any advice massively gratefully received.

PS my AMH is 2.4 so really low ovarian reserve/quality hence the donor egg idea - nowt wrong with my innards - they are fine!