All new 30-something BESH buzwamcam action

[Muser]

Subscribe now for 24 hour buzwamcam footage! Sit back, relax, and admire these 30 something women go menkul during the 2WOOFL. Hot men and cold cocktails on tap.

Ciao bellas!

Come on you lot...is nobody ready to move out of the pit into the saloon of naive optimism...come join me at the bar...I've mixed up snakebites and pernod-and-blacks to try to lure you 1980's alternatives back over!

Have you noticed how I'm still not woolf-ing by the way...I've not even poked my tits once this month, despite being 11 dpo? Let me be a lesson to you all...in fact I think I might move over to one of those 'just started ttc threads' so that I can say..."oh, I shan't bother testing, I will just wait and see".

Having said that, I am self aware enough to realise that, deep down, I am probably fully in the belief that the mystic forces of karma will reward my non-menkulness with a 'surprise' diffment..."Gosh...Ireally wasn't expecting it this month...I hadn't wooofl-ed, or anything!"

By the way, we new a new fred title soon...can I put in the first suggestion:

30s TTC: BESH palace "look into our vortex, ye fertile and despair" ...or is that a bit depressing?

How about a chirpy '30s TTC: relax and it'll happen when the time is BESH!'

Fuck you lot can talk - I've only been down there a week and we need a new fred soon.

EXTREME!!!!! So good to see you back where you belong my luvver.

Gin I sympathise greatly - Boo has been puking her guts up since Sunday night and now has raging temperature too, poor love. And poor me - I'm bloody knackered . How are you feeling today? Come here and let me grope you smother you in my cleavage. I really am so sorry for the shiteness. Wish I had something 'useful' to say that would make it all better, but I is not grate wiv the wordz. Innit. But I can however make good with the bar - I found some sugar cubes and those special little spoons and I've even got some proper absinthe glasses - fill your boots laydeez.

Lorry I am so sorry about the metal bastard. Its fucking heartbreaking when you do everything you can and still no win. Its not bloody fair.

In other news we are off to the SIL's for the weekend (yes, she of the cunt-kicking) AND I should ovulate over the weekend. When we are sharing a room with Boo. And TG has put his back out. Fuckin A. Bah.

Hello to newbs, sorry if I've forgotten anyone - I can't keep up with you lot.

Scorpy are we still on for a meet up this weekend? (Plz to say yes, so I can escape SIL for a while.)

Sorry Cho, xpost. Liking the fred title, suits the black humour in here. I may be tempted to stay out of the pit long enough for a snakebit and absinthe chaser... Has Lorry still got any of those gin-soaked donuts?

Cho That will be me - who you just described. It will. Deffo . Droid is due Thursday and I haven't prodded boobs or done the cigar or anything. Sorry - "would be due". I've made it a a policy not to POAS prematurely, though that is solely because I'm a tightass.

My other thread is the First Time Frolickers . But I do believe I bring an added element of sarcasm and ennui to the general air of the thread.

Do you all know eachother in RL? Did I stumble into a private club and you are all just feeling sorry for me and letting me stay? Or maybe you just figured as I am a Yank I wouldn't understand anyway? Sorry, I am babling, droid got me really bad, I am kinda out of it.
Cho I vote for the second one, just because we need some naive optimism 'round 'ere. (Anyone remember that Counting Crows song?)
Polly, Extreme don't think we've been formally introduced: 'ello, my name is Mount and I live in Lahndan.

Much violence lovely BESHies - how are you all?

I haz come to give gin a big lezzer snog and to grope anyone else that gets too close...

I iz coming up to anniversary of babyfail (hilariously timed as Easter Sunday) - so feeling a bit odd about stuffs...

Anyway BESHlets - I like some fucking violence and some BUMSEX talk please, you iz being slackers (I know poo will help me out)

Yeah, drag those frolickin' beetches down to our level AircunniLingus ! Arf

Gin soaked doughnuts? Wow, that provides all elements of one's daily nutritional requirements....and don't forget - the dough is prolly fortified with folic acid .

MountEtna We do not know each other in RL, though I fink Gin and Extreme have got something going on, but tbh, I think Extreme is just Gin's 'beard', or summat

WE DID BUMSEX LAST WEEK! Oh yes we did. Well sort of - seeing as I wasn't ov'ing I let him have a quick go (without the money shot). TMI?! I aim to please Igster.

Mountie plz to meet you too . Some of us have met in RL in an attempt to make the world implode get a spontaneous rash of upduffs. Gasper and Iggs met up last year and the result was I think 4 duffings?

@ poo

You dirty bitch . Honest but.

I love you poo - you are my hero

Sorry Igz...missed your post Difficult time Iggy...we are practically babyfail twins...my anniversary next week too . I'm sorry if you're feeling shit, tbh it's not really hitting me this time...it was the EDDs that felt like a kick in the guts. Please join in with my goth-cocktails... fancy a fag dipped in poppers?

In that case Poo I think your username is an apt one

Hope he did the decent thing and moistened you up a bit first.

cho I does know I haz nuffin to complain about - but it just makes me feel nervy about something happening again this easter - the EDD was fucking terrible too - cos that was before I knew I woz updiffed innit.

By the way - has anyone won a baybee this fred?

Nope.

Though do you think the thread will last until Thursday, Friday? It blatantly won't will it? I'm sure the bastard will arrive as the cock crows on my 35th birthday when I will no longer be in my late-early-thirties but clearly in my mid thirties and therefore in the trying-for-six-months rather than a year bracket

I love your honesty, spesh after the revelations about some of us knowing each other's RL identities

Sorry for all the recent shitness BESHlets. I am in the "don'tknowwhattosay" camp, so will say little and send special cheese-wire violent hugs to gin & lou.

aries I hope you've taken up my (brief) mantle of keeping shagging, fucking and jizz alive on that Frolicker thread. Think there are still a few babydusters there, but they're generally an alright bunch, if not as dark and violent as this lot.

Welcome back extreeeeeeeeeeeemme but soz about the shitty pup. is all practise though, non?

Em, ref Lime in the Sol (nom, nom) Please to see photos of me drinking the said same at my own wedding dance almost three years ago.

Slow pony on gig catch up (very 90s references for me I'm afraid). Damon Albarn once played with my toy truck-shaped water flask at a Blur gig (drove it through the air while on stage) before handing me his mic for a rendition of the Boys and Girls chorus. Got a few words in before lad next to me stole it. The drummer from Ocean Colour Scene stood on my fingers before a gig at the Barrowlands...

Ok, I;m boring myself now...

Must be freaky Igz...but you are much further on this time...non? so of course you are fucking menkul! EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT, IT'S OKAY, IT'S FINE!

Eat some Easter eggs and have some gin...you are not allowed to let yourself wallow in m/c misery if it's only going to panic you about this one! That's the rulez! Any way ...look! bumsex!

(age old distraction technique

Luvs u too Iggy.

No, no baybees on this fred. Cho are you gonna do the honours and sort the new one?

BUMSEX!

Yes Pol, our hot date is still on. Although now all I'll be able to think of when looking at you is 'she takes it up the wrong 'un !'. Was also hoping I would be more than just a cunty-SIL diversion, but beggars like me can't be choosers, I guess Let's email the details, beyatch

Laurie, that is a bag of arse. Please accept this novelty hat with a big bottle of gin on top and 2 curly straws leading down to your mouth.

And Muser, that bleeding is another bag of arse.

I JUST WANT US TO HAVE SOME GOOD BASTARD NEWS! We are surely and sorely being punished for being BESHes. Must make new offerings at the temple of Lyra

Extremelycloseandincrediblyloud (oooh, so literary!), good luck with all your investigations. Tell your consultant that Scorpette demands good news or his/her life won't be worth living

As for me - MEH! I was up till 4am crying and my mind going mad over thoughts of never having kids. Thank Gawd is my day off, but am still in nightie and need to go to town asap. Bum. ILs have just told TYF that his younger brother is going to stay at our house tomorrow night before they both go off to their parents in Devon Nice of them to ask in advance if it's convenient and even nicer to give us chance to prepare and even nicer to consider that me might not want a guest on the last night we see each other for a while, huh? But then again that would involve treating him like an adult and me like I'm part of his life, grrrr CUNTS. At least I'm not going with him and will therefore not have to deal with thoughtless loudmouths asking me why I hate children and don't want any (because those are the only reasons a 35+ woman hasn't got kids, arrrgh).

ScorpyScumptious you know you are the main attraction - in fact I instigated the trip to SIL's specifically so I could come meet you.

That's more like it!

I can't fathom why anyone in life would have the temerity and insensitivity and downright rudeness to ask anyone why they don't want kids because they haven't got any. I just can't. Never would I ask someone why they do - though I have often longed to. And also the "it'll be the best thing you'll ever do" and the "it'll happen when the time is right" and the "it'll happen for you hun (BARF) I know it will".

Anyone using the word hun should be put to death immediately.

Was that the last message?