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[Muser]

Subscribe now for 24 hour buzwamcam footage! Sit back, relax, and admire these 30 something women go menkul during the 2WOOFL. Hot men and cold cocktails on tap.

That's one of the few times I've been glad to hear of a droid, Muso

How are this morning, Ginster's? Been worrying about you, moi loverrr

Re: people turning into their mothers, I have already become mine except for a) being able to eat whatever I want and remain a toned size 8 and b) being incredibly popular, with everyone who meets me describing me as the nicest person they know. Life is so unfair!

Morning, lushes. I am going around the palace with vases of daffodils in a vain attempt to bring some spring into the gloom. Gloom here too - one of my lovely baby substitutes dogs has got a horrible viral infection that isn't treatable, and there is no 2WOOFLing here, as there was no, zero, nil SWI this month due to timetabling issues. Timetabling issues! So romantic.

Am sorrowful for all the sad BESHes. Have these chinese burns and Hobnobs and don't make crumbs in the Pit. Obviously we're building up to a torrent of good news in April.

On the topic of 'at least you can get pregnant', and this is a serious, honestly-meant question: what is the right thing to say to someone you care about who's miscarried? A couple of my friends (not buzzwam buddies but close enough to have told me at 3 months) have miscarried recently, and I've been torn between writing to say how sorry I am, but not wanting to say the wrong thing, without meaning to. Have ended up writing two-line notes sending love and thoughts, then worrying that I'd inadvertently said the worst thing possible. Guidance, please, wise ones...

All cool Ginster I hope you get some sleep.

That's good news mymuse, isn't it? (Insert newbie appologies for lack of accurate info or nose being found where it does not belong.) Gin's on me!

Scorpette hunny, you are all those things to me! Can I turn into your mother too?

Over here on the mountain I am still trying to make the man wank into a damn plastic cup. It's really getting on my nerves and it is one thing I cannot do for him. And once again: WANK, MAN, WANK!

OK, I've just caught up.

Sorry to have waded in with my breezy attitude right in the middle of everyone having a shit time.

gin I'm so sorry to hear your news. Also how's the small now? Sounds like a sofa day is due to both of you.

muse I'm glad things seem to be slowly getting back to normal (whatever that is round these ere parts). Still think you need some spoiling tho!

Welcome newbies. Am liking the cut of your gib.

cock hopefully you're enjoying sunning yourself. Don't beat yourself up about your mini meltdown - you'd have to be kicked out if you didn't have a wobble. Hope you & mrscock can have a good ole chat over your hols.

lyra glad your dad seems to be making good progress & hope that he's now back home. Enjoy your hols.

Eh, my memory is shocking, so apologies if I've blatently missed anyone out. Roundhouse kicks to everyone.

So, my update. Before anyone says anything I'm not going to POAS. Twas me on the massive shag-fest this month. Am now on day 31. Last 2 cycles have been 28 days. However, by my standards 28 days has been short & 31 days is nothing unusual based on the nearly 3 years since contraception. So....The poor boyf is hugely excited & wakes each morning checking what day I'm on. He said he feels lucky. I've told him not to get overly excited. I've got a bit of an upset tummy, which happens before droid & have used approx 47 toilet rolls on gusset-watch since Sat. If there's nothing by Friday I'll POAS then (the boyf thinks Good Friday is an omen, he originally wanted me to test Thurs, til he remembered it was April Fools Day. I do believe he's more menkal than me).

Anyway, even writing this I'm sure I can hear the evil cackle & beep of that bastard working his way down my tubes to my gusset.

Gin ...I'm so sorry! What a kick in the guts, its so fucking unfair! I'm going to drag you by the hand into the Pit, sit you on my knee and stroke your hair all day now...I can't promise I wont try to cop a feel, but me heart's in the right place.

FigRoll I try not to get bothered over what people say after m/c...it's completely understandable that people want to try to make things better or explain something that seems so cruel, and we all know they are really hoping to provide some consolation...and for me, getting diffed after 3 years trying was some kind of consolation. Although after 2 m/cs I did start thinking...ok, pregnant - very good...but can I have a baby this time, please.

What I find hardest is when people say "I know you will have a baby in the end", or come out with some mystical bullshit about the 'time being right', 'fate', or 'your body being ready'. What they don't understand is that a)"I want this fucking baby", and b) I am extremely fucking concerned, and with very valid reason, that I won't have a baby in the end, so that mystic claptrap just makes me feel like I am not being heard.

For me, I just want to feel cared for and listened to...and not like everyone's forgotten after a few weeks.

Having said all that, I'm sure that we all feel different and find support in different things...what might upset me, could be a great comfort for anyone else.

Few people ask me how I feel about m/c anymore, and I know it was 9 months ago...but that kinda makes it worse...after getting diffed twice in 2 months, I thought I was on the home run...never imagined I'd still be here after so much time.

I fucking love the BESHes though...it's good to come and have a private* wail and feel like people care/know how you might feel.

I say 'private', but think the Boyf has been MN stalking me, the cunt...he'd do better to ask* me how I feel a bit more often!

Laurie fingers crossed for you.... Easter testing - Confucious say Easter is an auspicious time for the diffment...it is written, so shall it be...

So sorry lovey, hope you are being kind to yourself.

wildfig I don't think there's really a right thing to say. A simple 'I'm very sorry for your loss' ought to be fine though. I'd steer clear of anything referring to future pregnancies. It will vary between people. I was fine after my first, it was v early and I hadn't been trying very long. Someone who has been trying for years and found out at 12 weeks I'm sure felt differently. It's a minefield, so keeping it simple is safe.

I actually said the "at least you know" thing myself after my mc. Then with the ectopic I realised what a ludicrous thing it is to say.

Right... am off to give Barts more of my blood...they can't get enough of the stuff - I think they keep Vampires, or something!

God yes Cho. Time is right is way off base. Also try to avoid my mum's helpful 'maybe you shouldn't test' and 'well now you'll be really stressed and it will make it harder'.

I am whittling spoons and rubbing things widdershins for lorralorralaughs. easter diffment!

I kind of think I could own up to something I haven't yet now. Four years ago I had a very early mc, just like yours Gin. The timing was spectacularly bad as we had just set up the business and no sooner as I had tested and I saw the Line, two days later it was gone. We had to go to a wedding a few days later and there were so many babies that it made me very miserable, even though it was so early and I hadn't really wanted it yet anyway. In the end I told my SIL and she said the old "at least you know you can get pregnant" (the exact words!) At the time I didn't think much of it, just thought "Gosh, yes, she's right" and she's also just had all sorts of IVF awfulness. So people do think they're saying the right thing, but in many instances they should think about it a bit more.

And it's rained solidly for two whole days

Pleased about the droidage Muse (feels oddly odd to say such a thing).

Aries old soak, I am awfully sorry about that.

LorryDriver - I'll be howling at the moon for you. Or similar.

Well: I feel strangely chripy this morning despite bleeding a stuck pig. It think it's because the bleeding is so emphatic that I can no longer persuade myself it is some species of benevolent preggo spottage, that I need no longer cling, by shredded fingertips, to the last fragments of hope. I discard March and embrace April.

Ginster'ssteakandalepasty, you've been on my mind

chripy chirpy

Twas ages ago Bangers. That droid arrival sounds pretty emphatic. I guess you know now at least.

Anyway, I'm asking some advice. It's my birthday on Thursday (I know, I'm a skinny ginger beanpole and an April fool) and people are asking me what i want and I haven't a clue! Not one single clue. What do others want for their birthday in their mid thirties (apart from the obvious baybee)? Bear in mind we're skint. I might ask for treat type things like massages and facials and a hair do for the mop. I don't live in London or even anywhere remotely near proper civilisation by the way. I never want stuff, so new handbags and shoes and stuff are out. People always get me the wrong size clothes if they do (that's why I never ask but a certain aunt still persists in sending my size 12 Dorothy Perkins shirts etc). I don't know. Maybe I'll ignore this birthday, it'll go away and I'll still be in my early thirties rather than officially reaching the mid-bit. Sigh.

Droid is also due Thurs/Fr which could make for an interesting birthday.

I don't think that there is a right thing to say to be honest. I do have a bit of an issue with that phrase though as it just seems a bit stoopid and clumsy - and, for some reason, i have an image of someone saying it in a sort of all bright-eyed and optimistic manner (with curly, blonde, bouncy hair, bright lipstick and possibly a hot pink suit jacket).

I didn't expect people to be eloquent about it - it's awkward and crap all round, but i think a bit of empathy and even just admitting that it's a shit thing is helpful. I think i found the most natural comment came from a friend who just said - "I have no idea what to say to you other than i am so sorry. It's totally fucking shite and you didn't deserve it". That made me think - yeah, that's kinda how i feel actually and i am so glad you are not giving me the positivity/wasn't meant to be/next time it'll be ok shite when it?s still all so raw. And i know that no-one deserves it, but i did go through a bit of a - maybe i did something wrong/didn't want the baby enough/didn't try hard enough etc etc etc phase so just having someone, other than a healthcare professional, say that helped a bit.

And, this is going to sound a bit pathetic, but I think I felt after having gone through such severe hyperemesis for nearly 2 months prior to MC that I had kinda paid my dues so ?deserved? the baby? Weird and a bit pathetic I know when you see what some folk go through.

My, that was a bit of a serious (and long) post wasn't it? Shall i try out my first bit of newbie violence? Ok! Face-grinds on pebbledash inlaid concrete and hair-pulling (that especially sensitive bit just at your temple) all round! Rub, yank, rub, yank, rub, yank!!

Aaaah?that?s better?..

Promise I?ll stop going on about my MC soon guv?nor? Poor me, poor me, poor me?

No worries decaff... Feel free to 'share' all you like

I am currently twenty-ninth in the queue to do blood test, with only my iPhone for company. Hangman anyone? Nought and crosses?

By the way, Gin. Sorry to be Little miss practical, but are you going to get a test carried out by pharmacist or gp to prove pregnancy.? I am a cynic, but I worry if they will help with mc tests if they haven't independent evidence of diff. It's probably the last thing you want to think about now, but might be worth calling gp.

Head i like the embracing April thing! April is a good month as far as i am concerned. March is a shite month - it can never make its mind up whether it belongs to winter or spring. April however - defo spring - lots of new life, buds, baby animals and birds - all good and juicy vibes in my book.

Aries why don't you get a few folk to club together and get you a full on pamper day thing. S'wot i did last buffday and was berluddy lovely [dreamy emoticon].

Gin never rains but it pours and all that shite? Hope little ?un (and you) feeling better.

Talking of spring ? must get maff waxed. Hate the maff waxing thing ? anyone on here not find it ridiculously painful? Not sure if I have just gone to crap folk (sometimes it bleeds ) or whether it is just a(nother) penance for being a woman and just have to put up with it in the quest for not having a creature-resembling-a-yeti in my pants? Perhaps could just persuade husband to become a fancier of hirsuit woman?

Thanks Cho .

I think you should do the persuading thing Decaff. Have never had it done and never intend to

Nice idea re the friends thing, but sadly me and my friends have never been the present-buying types so it's all down to Him! Referring to the previous mother conversation, a couple of years ago, this was my birthday message from my mum: it was a text saying HB2Y etc. lol Ma. Enough said!

Fucking hell (re waxing your fanjo) - amd I the only woman in the world that doesn't do anything like that?? Dunno if it's cos I am fair and thus not ntoably hirsute but honestly: it makes me come over all feminist and DM wearing. Why in the name of all that's holy and precious does a woman have to torture herself in order to resemble a pubescent girl, if they are to be considered attractive? Something is wrong somewhere.

Sorry - "My friends and I..."

Okay 10 people left in queue. I think I am going to attempt a haiku...

Just catching up after a weekend of being irrationally irritated by the in-laws. We had the obligatory 'we had it so much harder when we were your age, you don't know how lucky you are' conversation which was annoying the first time, and is now just tedious.

So sorry gin, that's shit. Hope the small one is feeling better and you're both catching up on some rest.

As for fanjo waxing, I'm joining Head and Aries in the never done it camp. Sounds like torture. But then I do wear DMs (albeit not as much as I used to), but not sure I own any dungarees.