Just MC...Long haul, short haul, ranting, weeping, laughing all encouraged. Oldies and newbies very welcome

[liahgen66]

Ok, feel a bit scared actually starting the new thread but here we are, for however long (or short) our time here may be.

Off you go ladies. Welcome () one and all.

and I just read up through posts and realised I'm probably just being hugely selfish - I'm not really doing so badly, at least they're following up for me.

MrsG, so sorry you're still waiting and good luck this afternoon. Going back into hospital for scans is so sad, I hope MrG's going with you for support and you find sympathetic staff, and answers.

I've at least been chuckling at tightywhities, eastenders Duffs and disorganised men (I'm sure my DH never checks the date on his passport either)...

Feeling bizarrely better for my rant - sorry - feeling a bit stupid for getting so upset too. Back to work now. Onwards and upwards.

Thursday list:
Moofold ttc#2 UCL~33 cycle1 CD37
northlondonchoclover TTC#1 UCL28 cycle WTF CD30
Liahgen66 TTC#6 UCL26 cycle 1 (post mc) CD28
icedlemonmuffin TTC#2 UCL24-32 cycle10 CD26
RunForTheHills TTC#1 UCL30 cycle 14 CD24
yogamat TTC#2 UCL? cycle WTF CD24
vivcliquot TTC#1 UCL27 cycle 3 CD23
sunburntats TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 2 CD22
Tetleytea TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 3 CD22
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL 25-28 cycle 11 CD21
Albadetamble TTC#2 UCL25 cycle WTF CD21
LittleMiss72 TTC#1 UCL28 cycle WTF CD20
Hopefully TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 3 CD19
NoShouting TTC#5 UCL? cycle 1 CD18
Curlylox TTC #3 UCL 28 cycle WTF CD18
Goodluckbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 1 CD16
Zayja TTC#1 UCL24-26 cycle 11 CD16
Slimyak TTC #2 UCL 26 cycle 2 CD15
Tigger15 TTC#2 UCL26 cycle 9 CD13
Gi1da TTC #1 UCL28 cycle WTF CD 13
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL26 cycle 7 CD12
Allthe8s TTC#3 UCL28 cycle1 CD12
SarahMumtoAlex TTC#2 UCL28 Cycle 6 CD10
dirtgirl TTC#2 UCL28 cycle1 CD8
clareanna TTC#2 UCL35 cycle 1 CD7
sakura TTC#1 UCL28 cycle1 CD7
LucyT66 TTC 1 UCL 33-34 cycle 3 CD4
Underneaththestream TTC#1 UCL ? cycle 1 CD4
Unbuffy TTC#2 UCL? cycle 1 CD3

PENDING STATS
westyorkshiregirl TTC#? UCL? cycle? CD?
Polyanna TTC#6 UCL27 WTF CD?
Malteser1981 TTC#? UCL28 cycle WTF CD?
slimyak TTC#2 UCL? cycle? CD?
sparklyrainbow TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle WTF
shinysideup TTC#2 UCL 25 cycle WTF
hippychick TTC #3 UCL? cycle WTF
lauraloo09 TTC#2 UCL? cycle WTF
CCBloom TTC#1 UCL? cycle WTF
Mummy369
meatntattypie
GinaFB

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
hoops997 BFP 11 July 2009
Stressy BFP 22nd August 2009
becky78 BFP 4th September 2009
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September 2009
Waitingisntfun BFP 19th September 2009
Chamois BFP 7th October 2009
Apples BFP 9th November 2009
Meita BFP 10th December 2009
CakeandFineWine BFP 27th December 2009
boodleboot BFP 2nd January 2010
Jollster BFP 10th January 2010
LeeWT BFP 21st January 2010
TFLS BFP 22nd January 2010
Louisesh BFP 22nd January 2010
MrsRigby BFP 27th January 2010
TheKurgan BFP 30th January 2010
effilump BFP 8th February 2010
Sarahlou8 BFP 10th February 2010
samanthab123 BFP 10th February 2010
Cheepz BFP 16th February 2010

thanks meatntattypie... not just me then [big sigh of relief at not going mad emoticon]

sorry you're going through it too though, it's pants isn't it

It IS shite, utter utter shite.
Im 40 this year, had my 5th Mc in Decemaber just gone.

had bloods sent, all normal.

Been for appointments with gynae consultant.....never seen him yet.
sent to another hospital completely for one appointment...by accident.

No one is interested.
No one wants to help
No one has the ability it seems to help me.
There is no explanation for my mcs.

Oh no, meatntattypie I really feel bad for you, mine was only first mc, I'm just scared because of my age.

But I have already discovered that the only way to get anywhere is to push for it. Wish I could help you, but that's all I really know.

Everyone trying to fight their way through the nhs has my deepest sympathy. The system makes me SO VERY ANGRY. When i was in hospital for erpc (arrived 9am) I was told i would have to go away and come back the nest day (That was at 4.30pm) and continue to be nil-by-mouth all that time. I only got the proceedure that day because at that point i went totally nuts got a bit hysterical. and i still didn't get home until 11pm. and fil is currently very ill/dying and they won't even give him a diagnosis - he's been waiting 4-5 months and they still don't know what's wrong. we're supposed to have one of the best health systems in the world aren't we? At least we used to.

Appologies for rant. The past few posters make me so sad and angry and sad. Alba, MeatnTatty, Mrs. G, I really do hope those sods pull thier fingers out. Don't they realise how hard it is? You all have my very very best and lots of un-mn hugs.

hippy I am 43 now too and getting worried. Period hasn't arrived today so far and day 28 post erpc now. Was hoping it would appear today so i know everything is back to normal, but am secretely terrified that it'll never come back.

The doc I saw at our hosp post scan to confirm mmc said that it might keep happeneing now at my age and if i use progesterone it might make my body hang onto a pg that nature would have discarded. He had a great bedside manner
I am not listening to him,

Come on, there's hope for us, thousands of women our age get pregnant, stay pregnant and go on to have healthy babies, we can do this.

That said, this was my 2nd in a row since December 08. 4 altogether spaced over a few years.

Sorry to everyone having a shit time, it'll get better, it has to right? it can't get any bloody worse.

Sorry to every one having a crap time.

When you have an mc it destroys your world , takes away all your hopes and dreams that you had for your baby and your family. It creates such a deep empty space inside that feels like it is never going to be filled.

But to the medical profession it's just a mc, no big deal happens all the time!!! They are not professionals they are heartless b*stards.

A bit of understanding and compassion would go a long way!

Sorry for the rant just really horrible that so many of us are treated so crap.

I am so sorry everyone is having a pants day today, I think it's been one of those weeks

It was actually my counsellor who arranged my follow ups after losing dd2 and she has stuck with me through my recent mmc too chasing people up. Lets hope MN got somewhere with their Code of Practice campaign today.

Passing round the choccy rice krispie cakes again

xxxxxxxxxxx

Ladies my heart is going out to you all today. I actually have a wonderful GP but when I had my MC and made an emergency appt with my surgery I had to see a different doctor who had the worst bedside manner I have ever come across. I had brought a sample of the blood and possible clots on a tissue to ask if he thought they were clots and had put the tissue in a clear polythene bag but when I lifted it out to show him he turned up his nose, didn't even look at it and looked at me as if I had just thrown up over his desk. Then at the EPU the staff just talked to each other and didn't explain anything to either me or DP. In fact we were sat down the corridor from the consulting room when we overheard them say so CC has MCd shall we get her back in for her results!! Then they showed me a 'normal' scan picture to show me how mine was different!!! As if the experience wasn't traumatic enough was it too much to ask for some sensitivity. In fact the nurse even said to me 'sorry have I upset you?!!!!

Thankfully I have been back to my lovely GP and explained that we want to ttc and do everything we can to prepare. He recommended checking that my rubella vaccine was still effective so went for blood tests today. Have one week to wait for results and then if I need to update the vaccine we can't ttc for two months. I'm 30 and all of this is so new to me. Part of me wants to do anything I can to protect the next pregnancy but the other part is struggling with a possible enforced 2 month ban on ttc when the results come back.

Sorry I know so many of you have had other more extreme examples of dealing with doctors and hospital staff but I really can't believe they have become so desensitised in their jobs and don't realise that they are talking to us about something that is so important and affects our hopes and feelings so intensively.

Ok rant over, pass me those chocolate crispie cakes, the banana, apple and pack of walnuts on my desk at work just aren't cutting it!!

Hello all, I'm new on here. I have sat and read all the threadsfor the last three days in tears as I am at home recovering from ERPC on Sat. I started bleeding last Tues and in my heart I just new. Hospital was brilliant with advice etc,couldnt fault them. I was 11w4d but they said probably stopped growing about 8 weeks. I am 40 in March and have a son 11 & daugh 6. Although I feel as low as can be this site has been really comforting. I have just found this thread and although it is so sad what everyone has been through I feel it somewhat uplifting knowing I really want to ttc again and I shall come on this site to see how everyone is.Good luck all.xxxx

Hi urd, so sorry you had to find us, but it is a comfy armchairs kinda place and it helps us all keep going.

Mmmmm, chocolate crispie cakes, yum, thanks . I've just looked around my kitchen and it all looks much too healthy. Apart from the wine bottle of course, but I have an afternoon of work to get through before I can start on that...

hi all - illegally on here from work so have to be quick.
The anger and sadness following an MC is awful and my thoughts are with those of you who are having a bad day. The thought of having another MC has made me very scared / ambivalent about trying again, and I can't imagine how I'll feel if I do get pregnant again - it's not going to be easy that's for sure.... I've also considered just not putting us through it again, but at the moment we're going to give it another go...

I've started tracking my emotions through my cycle (after the mental PMT crying fit last week) and am now on CD7 after a bit of a weird AF made its' first appearance since ERPC(lots of stopping and starting IYKWIM) Today is mainly a positive, optimistic, soon-time-to-get-out-the-tightie-whities-for-DH day!
We're going on hols for 3 weeks next week, so if that doesn't do the trick I don't know what will (although we are staying with family)
MrsG - good to hear from you - hope you get some answers this afternoon.
Viv - it's not just blokes who have passport issues - I have done the expired passport one, (did you know you can still fly to spain on an expired one?!) the stolen one, the lost one - all at the airport.... many people refuse to travel with me now... In my defence I have got slightly more organised with increased age, and decreased alcohol consumption.
goodluckbear can't compete, but how about MMC, DH redundancy, my promotion postponed, boiler broken, key broken off in front door and weird acne on chest appearing all in the last 4 weeks?! Sometimes you've got to laugh... (or drink!)

urd so sorry to hear your news - this is a good place to be
CC pas us a choocy krispie - am hitting the 3pm slump!

Oh Alba, you must be feeling terrible. Wish I had comforting words to make you feel better.
On a more positive note - you are having the bloods done (and from experience I can't imagine the labs bouncing them as it's quite a 'routine' (not to us) test), I know it's a longer wait than any of us would want but the wheels are in motion.
As for the urine sample, you have a through GP who is sending a sample for culture to the lab to ensure no infection persists, if the nurse just dipsticked it it would take a minute but only shows up if there stuff in your urine (blood, protein, leucocytes) that may indicate is an infection. The sample to the lab is the gold standard as if there is still an infection the results give sensitivites (which antibiotic is suitable. But if you feel better, don't worry about the result. I know it feels as if no-one cares - but we do.
To Mrs G - fingers crossed for you.

I'm already having palpitations about going back to work on monday after 2 weeks off following my MC. I'm a midwife, ironic or what? I love my job, but at the moment I would rather stick pins in my eyes than be surrounded by all that joy, and pregnant women and babies and....everything. (sad)

and I have no IT skills and can't get the faces to work or can I?

thank you malteser, that's exactly what I needed to hear! And you're right, I've done well getting the checks done at all, I think I probably needed to burst into tears whilst with the GP but I was so focussed on getting what I thought I needed, it all came out afterwards instead.

Tough one on going back to work for you though... that must be really hard after only 2 weeks, I was bad enough after 2 weeks whilst able to hide behind my computer screen. Very very best of luck. And talking of it all coming out afterwards, I have found myself crying on the way home from work (even without babies around) - so some treats for when you get home might be helpful? Particularly nice bubble bath or your favourite drink? Actually probably both at once...

have sent dd1 into kitchen to make more choc rice crispie cakes......xx

Thanks Alba, just wish every woman in labour didn't ask 'have you got any?'. Prior to the MC just replied - not yet - whilst secretly screaming in my head I'm pregnant!! Now I'll have to stick with the not yet and really mean it. I know people mean well but they really don't think do they? I'll just have to hope for some quiet night shifts (...and pigs might fly). Lets hope my colleague who performed the TV scans not on duty too.....
Choccies all round then!

alba meatntatypie and all the others who are having a crap day. So sorry for you.

I think we all feel that we want to learn something from this awful experience and feel that we are somehow in control next time - ha ha fat chance of that!

I'm off to GP in an hour to discuss the fact that someone keeps shoving an umbrella up my bum and fandango - looking forward to that litle chat.

I've written down everything I want to say to the consultant once I get an appointment.

Was just nodding off to sleep at lunchtime and a little voice said to me - 2 weeks ago you were thinking of baby names and now your not pregnant - it woke me up with a jolt and made me feel pants.

I bought the boys shortbread teddys from the bakers and I bought a few extra for you guys - here you go .

ps. Poor you malteser. I've always thought it would be lovely to be a mid-wife but had never thought how it would feel to have a mc and then have to go back to work as a midwife. It must be so much harder than hiding at a desk.

What a sad thread this is today. Here, I have fondant fancies if anyone wants one.

I am actually in a sort of good mood today. For the newbies who weren't on the last thread, I'm currently being treated for an ectopic pregnancy. Not much fun.

Anyway, after the methotrexate last week I had blood tests yesterday to check the drug is working. Called yesterday evening by the nurse saying my HCG levels hadn't fallen enough and they might have to give me another dose of methotrexate, but she would speak to the consultant in the morning and confirm this.

I then howled on the living room carpet as I really, really do not want anymore of this drug. It's awful. I am tired all the time. The 10 minute walk to the station exhausts me now. So the prospect of feeling like this for longer was hideous. Plus, another dose means instead of a 3 month ban on TTC I'd be looking at 6 months. Six entire months.

Thankfully, and this is why I'm in a good mood, the consultant has decided to leave it a week as I am very borderline. More bloods next week, if the HCG hasn't fallen enough again they'll reevaluate.

So that's the first positive in a month of misery. I'm now hoping my results next week are good. I want to get back to normal, I want to get back to work, and eventually I want to get that baby.

Mmm, fondant fancies and shortbread!

Muser, that's positive (though your whole situation sounds utter crap, thinking of you and hope things get better). Malteaser that also sounds rubbish. Realise I could go through the whole list of us saying things like that as we all have our own sad (and frustrating) stories, but think icedlemonmuffin has got it about right. I was quite impressed with the NHS about my mmc but know from previous experience that they can be utterly useless and thoughtless at times. Your GP sounds lovely (and useful) though CCBloom.

I went back to work today, literally two people knew why I was off, now seems to be soo many (as is always the way). Don't actually mind but can't stand the skirting round the issue and the sympathy without the real understanding of WTF has happened to us. Why isn't it talked about? Just want to shout 'I've lost my baby (and my temporary escape route from this hell hole) and I feel shite' but can't as the students would all know too... Someone at work who I don't usually speak to much told me today she is pregnant, about 2 weeks ahead of where I should be. She was very thoughtful about it and I'm not as jealous as I thought I'd be, more hoping that she doesn't have to go through what we (all of us on the thread) have. I may feel differently when she is visibly pg though

All this waiting to ttc horrible isn't it... and then when we do get preg again, it's more bloody waiting to get to a scan, to get past the mc date, to... Bollocks, I was in a good mood earlier today!

Quite a selfish post but I do genuinely hope things get better for everyone soon. In the meantime, may I add Galaxy to the mix? I am thinking red wine too... though possibly not at the same time

Hello to the new ladies, sorry you are here but I do find being in this company helps - hope it does the same for you. Feeling for those having a shitty time and those on a downer. Malteser - awful for anyone going back to work but yours I do not envy, you'll need to be so strong.

After days of being really blue I have picked up for some reason - Clareanna you might have something there about the ups and downs being related to PMT. Why else would you think you were finally getting somewhere only to be floored again days later. I am still in no mans land with this fabby WTF mark 2 cycle so who knows where the hormones are at.

Reading everyone's experiences of the NHS I realise I got off lightly - actually had decent care and at least given options. My awful experience was immediately before the ERPC. I had been ferried in with 7 other women of varying ages (16 - early forties). We were all put on beds behind curtains to wait for our turn. Then I heard the nurse speaking to the girl next to me saying 'so, you understand you are here for a termination today'. Then the girl was trying to make eye contact with me and I wanted to punch her repeatedly in the face. It just felt so unfair that our little one, who we so dearly loved and wanted, had no chance and was being wrenched out of my body. Afterwards I felt bad for being judgemental in case she had no choice but to terminate for medical reasons. Something about the way she was casually perusing her Ok magazine while I broke my heart tells me not though.....

Anyway, Viv - your passport story was ace and still chuckling at Hippy's description of the latest shooting pains!! Hope you get that sorted pal!

GP thinks shooting pains are to do with old endometriosis scaring. I had endo near to my pouch of douglas which is near to the backpassage. She thinks thay just rooted around a bit too much when they did the EPRC and disturbed stuff. She took a swab to check for infection but doesn't think I have one.

She was once again very encouraging and kept saying that she really thinks this was just due to the embryo not being right. She said i got pregnant quickly for my age (5 months/7 short cycles) and was positive I'd soon be pregnant again.

I wish she could give me a written guarantee. She is so lovely though and spent ages talking to me about how I was coping, how my kids were dealing with the loss etc.

I love my GP but not in a lesbian kind of way of course - that would really complicate everything with DH and ttc - (wink)

How awful to be in with people having terminations moofold, i just assumed everyone was in for the same reason as me.

Hope you all enjoyed the shortbread teddies - I'll get you some more if you're good tomorrow. Has anyone listened to my Michael Buble song yet - sorry if you hate that kind of music - I'm an old bird!

Keep your chins up everyone. (That's what my sis and I say - cos we're no skinny minnies