30s TTC - We BESH you a Merry Jizzmas and a droid-free new year!

[CurlyCasper]

Come in, come in. The wine is mulling, the bird is stuffed and cooked. We have a huge table at which to enjoy our festive feast, and the rippling Ricky Whittle is the centrepiece, draped in berries to be removed by whatever method you choose.

A bottle of Gin and an elf-man in a box awaits each and every one of you. Just make your wish and when you undo the bow he will appear.

There's a nativity tableau in the corner, for praying to the baybee Jebus and, most importantly of all, Santa has been asked to deliver the gift of exceptional fertility, so that each and every BESH can enter the new year with a baybeeee in their tum tum.

Oh, and I've let a few cats in to aid with the 2WOOFL menkulness.

Now, let's get together and get the tree up!

beshie the woman who posted 'but then,I'm fit,eat fruit' etc etc was a bit out of order in my opinion. Of course there are women who get pg easily and their opinions/experience are as valid as anyone else's. However with a post like that there is a statement being made that they got pg because they are 'good' ergo others are 'bad'.

That is what upset me. If I could get pg easily now I would be fucking happy about it,so I don't resent that. But being in a position where I actually don't know if I even fucking can now, being told that if I wasn't a lardy fag hag I would be up the duff is actually really hurtful.

I can see what you mean but I think she used the 'but I'm healthy' thing to try to avoid sounding smug.

What's all this about lardy fag hags having problems? I could do with losing the last half a stone of baby weight and I do tend to like the gays, is this affecting my chances?

BUT I'M HEALTHY!!! Well I was until last month.

Yes besh hanging out with all the boys is where you is going wrong

although iggs seems to think bumsex=baby...

We have a new website. It's very good! Anyone who knows who we are,go and look. And then say nice things. Or if you don't have nice things to say please gag yourself

ginhag Yes, that comment was fucking ludicrous. Cosmosis is perhaps the most health-conscious BESH ever to walk these hallowed halls and it took her 50 weeks! Perhaps little ms. healthy on that other thread can teach me about vegetables and foofoos cuz I iz dum as rox.

Twinks, am thinking of you today

Last night, I made the mistake of reading the thread about 30+ women getting knocked up when they so much as see the Kellogs rooster on a cornflakes packet (cock, innit) and it made me so depressed and angry that I couldn't face MN for the rest of the night. If eating sensibly, not smoking or drinking and living a wholesome life were the key to the perfect updiff, I'd be typing this in hospital where my octuplet pregnancy was being closely monitored

Aanyway. Am off to Drs tomorrow - Hallelujah! Have posted discussion on teh Other Place about what to ask and discuss, so all and any tips here or on there would be most gratefully received.

VAG, don't POAS until you feel ready. But please allow me to be getting quietly excited for you

POthedamnSwoman!

Gwan gwan gwan - we need the diff of the thread pronto! And we want it to be YOU!

You ain't seen me, right?

Ow! I know we all need this - I'll do it this week I promise. I can't be the only 2WOOFLER here though

VAG I think I'm ov'ing so would normally be hurtling toward TWOOFL... feels really weird that I can't actually do anything about it!

VAG You're quite right of course, there must be other 2WOOFLers out there.

I would be 2woofling menkul by now, if only droid hadn't turned up 5 days early.

Nice stealth move WeeWee

I am 2WOOFLing a bit, 7 days to go...

Hello BESHlets

twinks am thinking of you muchly.

gin but is true innit? bumsex = baybee

Cho glad you are still around. Good luck with the IUI - surely booking fancy trip abroad = updiffment?

twink hope today went ok. Try and take it easy...

Polly, I am afraid there are no extreme sports involved...perhaps I should have suggested going cave-diving?

CD41 - so droid imminent, and if no sign of droid by Thursday night (CD43), will get a test when I go to Sainsbury's that evening to test on Friday. I haven't yet had the spotting that preceded last month's droid.

Medee POAS POAS POAS!

If anyone's looking for a cunt to kick in, might I recommend Jennifer "I'd never have IVF, I believe in nature, mother of twins" Lopez.

NOT YET, NOT YET, NOT YET!

Well, that was unpleasant but so relieved it is finally over. I was all fine and stoic until sat on the end of the trolley bed thingy with legs akimbo and fanny out to the world when I went to pieces - bit in front of 2 nurses and the consultant but they were very nice. The actual procedure was a bit more painful than I was expecting but pain short lived. My pulse dropped to about 50 bpm afterwards and I felt very dizzy but after finishing off my NHS snack pack (not allowed to eat for 6 hours beforehand) and a cup of tea I felt almost normal. Thanks for thinking of me .

Can't quite believe I'm back to where we were 2 months ago but that's life and I'm hoping we were just unlucky this time. Have been told they will scan me at 7 weeks when I next get pregnant which is probably unnecessary but reassuring.

Did someone mention a BESH holiday?? We're going somewhere very tropical in March, other half is foreign innit so we get lots of cheap holidays back to his homeland! Sadly, tis a place full of beautiful, tanned young thangs clad permanently in dental floss bikinis which does nothing for my confidence!

Come on 2WOOFLERs, bring some joy back to the Palace!

POAS POAS POAS!

twinkle I'm sure the low BP/shock is pretty normal. My BP disappears under severe medical stress - my body decides the best way to deal with "stuff I don't like" is to pass out, go to a happy place and wake up when everything has gone away and birds are chirping in the trees! I'm sorry it was a difficult day for you but I'm glad you're OK. Make sure you get lots of rest and TLC from your partner. x

glad you have made it to the other side, Twinkle, hope you feel a bit more normal soon.

POAS VAG!

I am 2WOOFLing, but still a good few days away from any stick action. And given I appear to have spotting I'm thinking there won't be any sticks needed. DROID approaches.

And if anyone even says the word "implantation bleeding" I shall deck them. S'not implantation bleeding, it's pre-droid brown sludge.

BUT on the bright side this means plenty of wine and bad stuff when I'm on holiday in two weeks time.

Also wanted to give sneaky unBESHie hugs to twinkle and ginhag. Or maybe snogs instead?

I was just checking back on the old thread and I got spotting CD42 (ie tomorrow) before droid arriving the next day, so shall keep myself prepared for that. Have slight wombular regional feelings, so might be on its way

Wenches - I am BACK!

Here are my answers to the test:

THE BESHTEST (can anyone explain BESH?)

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

Errrrrr - totally. I have no blood in my veins only gin.

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

Gold digger of course. SHOW ME THE MONEY or buy me something expensive instead!

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use: a) weewee b) poopoo c) foofoo d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

Surely all of them! As it maximises your chances?!

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you: a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway. b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

Depends how hormonal I am and if the droid is enroute!

5. Is R2D2: a) an adorable robot from Star Wars. b) the source of all evil.

I choose c) Plain irritating!

6. what colour are your walls?

Mushroom!

7. Number of pets?

Too many!

8. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

Need to research!

9. Lesbian crush?

None as yet!

10. What are your views on camping?
    Isn't that some form of punishment?

11. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
    i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
    ii) Over 100 quid
    iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

None of the above I am going to manufacture my own.

Droid due this week, no sign yet, except for increased hunger and being sobbing wreck over emotional.

No doubt I won't be disappointed and it will be Tampax Nation anyday soon.

Gin anyone? I am on doubles tonight.

What the fk does 2WOOFLing stand for? Can someone send me a list of BESH acronymns? I am definitely 2WOOFLing and getting very nervous.

Twink well done for today. Dental floss wearing holiday is muchly deserved.

VAG stop pretending to be self controlled beshie and get weeing you fraud.

Muser ah well, at least you can get the wine out now. Where you going on your hollies? Ipswich?

I've been having cramps galore. Can't test til at least the weekend when we have the husband's annoying friends and their kids over. How am I supposed to hide my eventual devastation/amazement depending on outcome?