30s TTC - More Gin Than George BESH

[Scorpette]

Come on in ladies, the bar is fully stocked with Advocaat, Bailey's and novelty Xmas drinkies and the slaves are wearing Ann Summer 'Santa's Hat' posing pouches. Have also festooned the place with plenty of festive tat and lots of v un-eco and tacky Xmas lights and shit because I know we all love getting Xmassy dead early. There's a fireplace so you can send your wish list to Santa up the chimbley, platters of wooden spoons and coconuts on the mantlepiece and 'Mulled Wine' scented candles lighting up The Pit of Despair. Make yourselves at home!

Going back to weddings, iggy and brassica we had a bouquet incident, too, and several invite incidents. We had one cousin refuse to come coz we couldn't invite her kids (literally no space coz of reception being in tent in back garden), and we've not heard the last of it, given some kids were invited. These were: our son (think that was ok), the bridesmaids and page boy, an unweaned baby and the son of friends who'd come from Switzerland. Plenty more people we annoyed, too, for similar reasons. But, if they wanted to sit in the driveway, that was their own look-out. Our wedding, our rules . We wanted it small and at home and that was that.

Bouquet - YOB has ultra competitive, wealthy relative who decided he had to compete with the girls to catch the bouquet, despite them being one of my best friends who wanted to make a point to her BF, and my brother's GF for the same reason. I was seriously miffed about it, as it seems so churlish and mean to get in the way of the girls.

I've done it twice now - never again!!

Thanks all for alcohol-free recommendations. But I think I will be going for some mulled wine, too, yum yum. YOB is trying to put his foot down but 'tain't happening.

Anyway. So how are you laydeez doin? Who is the next pisser on sticks?

weeoflong how long're you staying in Afrika for? You gotta plan? Meaning, if you want to be "seen" by a doc over here, when could you?

OK - aside from FAS cunty which invariably you will give your poor ikkle unborn baybee. Mulled wine mings. Case closed.

Cosmosis is due for POAS on saturday but she's refusing to WOOFL like a proper BESH.

Is it Larry Fortensky next?

Cosmo POAS POAS POAS!!!

carrots is NOT getting married again. Twice is enough and divorce is f-in expensive. Anyway, two kids with two men makes me enough of a slapper . Anyway, she luuurrrves her utterly gorgeous manly man who is a goooorgeous man who she loves.

I'm gonna sit here and wait patiently for cosmo

I'm due to POAS on Saturday too but I have no symptoms whatsoever so not going to bother I think. Plus only managed to have sex 3 times so my chances are not great!

Carrots - hope the dildocam goes well and good to hear you're not worried! Bleeds are pretty common so chances are it will all be fine

I also think mulled wine is a bit minging, so is Sangria. Red wine is perfectly good without adding bits of fruit to it.

whom?

twinkle 3 times is enough tho will you poas on Sunday if no droid on Sat?

Oh, probably Iggy - I don't have very much self control! I usually get a couple of days pre-droid rust so if there is nothing by Saturday it might mean good news...

Oooh no twinkletoes Sangria = good. It was halfway down our 3rd jug when we decided to have a baybee. Then, to display the type of maturity required to have a family, we skipped out on part of the bill (too pissed to find a cashpoint) and tried to beat the tide around the headland = failed and had to clamber up the cliffs.

very grown up and..er.. responsible

Hom and I accidentally walked away from a breakfast bill in Brighton once, each of us thinking the other had paid. 3 hours later I had to slink back and pay it after the penny dropped. We were both in biker gear at the time so they must have just assumed we were the same as all the other inconsiderate leather-clad twats. And there are a lot of those in Brighton lol.

Now THAT's responsible and mature

LOLOL @ ski and cunty. cunty the court case which was adjorned today was with an inconsiderate leather-clad twat of a biker who hit the side of my car while I was minding my own business pulling out of a side road.

Actually, while obviously that sounds terrible, it actually WAS his fault (he was blindly overtaking a large van by going over cross-hatches speeding towards a green light and went into the side of me - I had no way of seeing him and as a former biker I am VERY aware of this - esp as I was knocked off myself once by a side-road driver and still have the dodgy ankle from it) - typical learner error which could have killed him - but hearing the crunch and looking in my mirror to see a biker not moving in the road is one of the worst experiences I've ever had .

twinkle thanks . Good luck yourself.

Does my sentence to cunty count as the longest and most ungainly ever in the history of MN?

Where is HCS I is missing her.. and all the others - extreme VAG Scropy Ginhag camelina etc...

I haz violence to distribute and I need them to be here to receive it

Aha!

I'm lurking but not postagementing (it's a word, look it up) (ok, it isn't) as hoped-for devil droid hasn't turned up. Pretty sure we didn't SWI at the correct moment, and my PMT symptoms have disappeared, I even have quite clear skin (though had a lovely facial about 10 days ago so it could be that). Just want a droid so I can start counting again. I just know that the absence will set me wondering a leetle bit until I finally POAS and droid will visit immediately, and it'll also mean my cycles haven't nicely begun to regulate themselves in an ovulation-indicating way (this is my non-professional, purely speculative theory on the matter).

Boo to droids wherever they are. And I'm with you on the sticking stuff like fruit in perfectly good drinks Twinky, loathe Pimms for the same reason. If I wanted a fruit salad I'd have a fruit salad. I just want the gin.

POAS!

Last time I had fruit in a glass it was because we started with Pimms. I topped up the same glass with white wine MANY times over the course of about six hours and in the morning - no hangover! So I maintain there is something to be said for fruit in a glass

POAS!

I'm lurking, now with added mental nightmares of Mr Cunty looming over me and Papa Iggy sticking his hand where the sun don't shine

And Carrots, 'Bailey's' should be spelt with an apostrophe as the full name is Bailey's Irish Cream - see the start of this wiki entry. The fact that they don't correctly add it winds me up and I refuse to spell things wrong just because it's common usage. I'm going to be a wonderful mum when it comes to homework, aren't I?

"What do you mean you can't spell antidisestablishmentarianism? You're 6!".

TYF and me both have the day off work, I'm so full of FFJ I think I saw Noah's Ark down there earlier, but TYF has a headache. GAH! It's at times like these that I realise why it's women who have kids and not men - because women can push through pain and do what needs doing whereas a man gets so much as a twinge somewhere and everything has to stop for the poor, wounded soldier

There better be sexings soon. It's CD12 and I've got a party in my pants that needs attending. His head doesn't need to get an erection so what's the problem? TTC has turned me into a monster... great

sooooo, I just looked back over the last few cycles that I charted on that silly fertility friend site and saw that by this time on each cycle I had already had a bit of rustyness. So anyway all my self control dwindled immediately and I POAS and....... I got a bloody fucking positive!!!!!!!! 4 days before I'm due on! Can't believe it, complete shock but over the moon . Huzzah! OH already bricking it.

Thanks for shouting POAS at me! Your go Cosmo!

Well done Twinkle! You obviously got your list to Santa in early Riding the crest of this lucky wave, VAG should POAS ASAP! Good luck, my lovely

CONGRATS twinkletoes, that's wonderful now get your backside over to the PESH deli!

scorps tell TYF there's a lucky wave (of FFJ) and you two need to be getting on it with some serious SWI!
Yes, VAG, POAFS!

Yaaaay! We have a winner! Fabby news.

I am going to get busy tonight, approaching fertile time. Have not broken this to himself yet. Am currently quaffing vodka, cranberry & limoncello and trying to avoid homework.

Yayyyy twinkle!!! Fantastic news!!! Marvelous .

scorps I have a horrible feeling you're right, you apostrophe hag, you.

As a lurker with only tentative links to the real BESHies (well, I fit the description of BESH, but pill taking keeps me on the edge (not sure I can spell periphery) ), may I add a "yeah" and a little dance around the kitchen for twinkle.