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Original poster

30s TTC - More Gin Than George BESH

1001 replies

Scorpette · 22/11/2009 12:43

Come on in ladies, the bar is fully stocked with Advocaat, Bailey's and novelty Xmas drinkies and the slaves are wearing Ann Summer 'Santa's Hat' posing pouches. Have also festooned the place with plenty of festive tat and lots of v un-eco and tacky Xmas lights and shit because I know we all love getting Xmassy dead early. There's a fireplace so you can send your wish list to Santa up the chimbley, platters of wooden spoons and coconuts on the mantlepiece and 'Mulled Wine' scented candles lighting up The Pit of Despair. Make yourselves at home!

OP posts:
iggypiggy · 07/12/2009 10:50

weewee and looney sorry for babyfail

Welcome brassy and pan - brassy you sound proper menkul - well done.

givecarrotsachance · 07/12/2009 11:01

long and claire

BrassicaBabe · 07/12/2009 11:04

Don?t get me starting on my ?wedding rant?. Anyone fancy coming to a money bonfire party?!! Bloody traditional bunch round my way!

  1. Have gin running through my veins. Closely following by a nice bottle of Sancerre
  2. A definite cradle snatcher!
  3. All of the above. Does ?position of the month? count?!
  4. Everyone should POAS everyday just to be sure
  5. R2D2 ? MIA for several years
  6. New build ? magnolia E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E!
  7. Too many. Long story.
  8. Vinny Jones
  9. Ola from Strictly! I?d do her!!
  10. Camping? Never! Ever. No really, never! Not even if my house fell down.
  11. Already spent too much cos still taking the bloody pill. Idiot, idiot, idiot!
PandoraBraithwaite · 07/12/2009 11:08

Hello all, especially newbies (Pandora69 - nice name!!)

Been lurking, but was going to try and stay away from posting this cycle as babyfail really really depressed me last month. However, the addictive BESH gin palace has worked it's magic on me again and I'm BACK!! OV'd yesterday I think, shagged lots over the weekend so fingers crossed for this month's rollercoaster.

Sorry to hear about the babyfailers. Pokes in the eye with sharp sticks all round.

skihorse · 07/12/2009 11:11

Oooh Brassica How old is your pre-pubescent?

In response to your "bumsex for babies" there was a lady on the August bus who made me howl because she said she got pregnant "the wrong way up" - transpired she meant lady-on-top - I was really really gunning for bumsex-baybee.

BrassicaBabe · 07/12/2009 11:15

Ski He's 33. Wish I was still 33

Yeah for sex "the wrong way up". Bring it on!

Still feel sicky though. Might try my second POAS tomorrow just to confirm menkulness!

CurlyCasper · 07/12/2009 11:56

scorps, Londoners and maybe some others, Check out the other place for a chance to earn M&S vouchers by doing very little. Thanks lovely BESHies, nipple twists all rounf.

hello brassy and pandora

Have we got two Pandoras now?

CurlyCasper · 07/12/2009 11:56

round

Cosmosis · 07/12/2009 12:42

Runs in spraying pepper spray liberally in all directions.

Hello all, didya miss me? We have no internets at home atm, so I?ve been dead lonely all weekend ? so I though I ought to let you know I am still alive. I am just here in the corner waiting patiently for the squeaky metal one to appear next Saturday. Am not woofling, as am convinced nothing will happen.

givecarrotsachance · 07/12/2009 14:15

Hi fellow veg lover brassica

Go on, tell us your rant about marriage

BrassicaBabe · 07/12/2009 14:47

Marriage great. Weddings though that's another thing!

Off to Meeting of Hell...

iggypiggy · 07/12/2009 14:52

ski how is woman on top the wrong way up???!!! That is insane....

brassy weddings are quite comedy - i was determined to be calm about organising mine, but things outside your control make you want to murder people

Like the fucking nobber who replied on his invitation accepting for both him and a new girlfriend - when only he was invited.... and then there was the 'bouquet' incident

I would like a couple of violent slaps today please - but steer clear of my tits or I'll knock you into next week...

skihorse · 07/12/2009 14:56

iggy I can only assume that baybees ought to be conceived during a traditional mummy-loves-daddy when they're married and very much in love missionary-style. You can't go around having passionate dirty sex and being unmarried - it might lead to dancing!

"Wrong way up" thinking though - must be the same type who put wooden spoons under pillows.

Can we see your tits please iggy? All this promise, no action...

iggypiggy · 07/12/2009 15:01

ski I'm surprised you can't see them from there anyway!

am thinking that "wrong way up" might seem like a good idea for birth control for the very stupid...

ChoChoSan · 07/12/2009 15:14

Afternoon Sweetcheeks, and welcome to the new BESHsters...I'm lovin' BrassiereBabe for starting menkulsness prior to even TRYING to get the updiff...she will truly fit in well...

iggypiggy · 07/12/2009 15:16

chochi where haz you been???

ClaireDeLoon · 07/12/2009 15:18

tsk tsk 'wrong way up' sex will never get you updiffed. You need to remain 'stuck together' for 5 mins after sex to prevent a mass escape of swimmers. My gynae consultant told me so. While he was giving me an internal exam.

ClaireDeLoon · 07/12/2009 15:20

well how's that for favouristism - chocho is allowed to touch iggy's enormous bosom but we aren't

CurlyCasper · 07/12/2009 15:22

yup, hold him in and don't let him go - even if he hurts!

/salivating over the iggy tits!

iggypiggy · 07/12/2009 15:23

looney you can haz a feel - but not to pinch or I really will deck you.

Gynae consultants should never talk when giving internal exams - one once started telling me how he knew my dad well... great - I now have an image of my dad while you doing that...

ClaireDeLoon · 07/12/2009 15:24

iggs he then asked me if I orgasmed. Not during internal exams no.

iggypiggy · 07/12/2009 15:27

cassie you has seem them in the flesh pre-diffedment - they is now comedic.

loon that is wrong on many levels... doctors have no idea sometimes..

ChoChoSan · 07/12/2009 15:31

Awww fanks for bazzooomer fest Igs, I have been going quietly menkul on my own for a few days...realised I was REALLYFUCKINGSTRESSED last Wednesday at work, (when it occurred to me that I had been subconciously trying to avoid hyperventilating for the past half hour), so I decided to forget about work and babyfails for a few days. I am back at work today, but I came in late, and then went straight out shopping to get mulled wine and Xmas prezzies for all the staff

how is everyone else...anymore babypasses this month, or did those greedy PESHies snort all the babydust in a preXmas binge last month?

ChoChoSan · 07/12/2009 15:33

Iggy, your gynae story reminds me - I spoke to a friend recently who said her gynae told her he had met the definition of a true lady a few years before...apparently she came in for an internal, got up on the couch, legs akimbo, but she still had her hat on, and was clutching her handbag!

iggypiggy · 07/12/2009 15:37

chochi we haz snorted all da dust

but - we gotta be on for an xmas babypass extravaganza innit?

gonna make sure I pick up had and patent leather handbag for future gynae appts - I wanna be a laydeeeeeeeeeeee

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