30s TTC - More Gin Than George BESH

[Scorpette]

Come on in ladies, the bar is fully stocked with Advocaat, Bailey's and novelty Xmas drinkies and the slaves are wearing Ann Summer 'Santa's Hat' posing pouches. Have also festooned the place with plenty of festive tat and lots of v un-eco and tacky Xmas lights and shit because I know we all love getting Xmassy dead early. There's a fireplace so you can send your wish list to Santa up the chimbley, platters of wooden spoons and coconuts on the mantlepiece and 'Mulled Wine' scented candles lighting up The Pit of Despair. Make yourselves at home!

Morning all - here are some duvets and some hot water bottles full of hot rum for the Droiders.

Bastard robot. He'll be along to visit me around this time next week, I've got the fake "symptoms" sore boobs and constant weeing. I am writing them down so I can compare timings to future months so I don't get all "ooh perhaps".

Sorry about the droids.

My telly of shame confession is... Passport Patrol. It's a whole lot of really sweet New Zealanders who happen to be Customs or Immigration officers, catching illegal overstayers (really politely) or apologising to drug traffickers that the cute airport beagle got very excited about your groin area so could you step this way please (package of drugs taped behind scrotum, as you do ).

skihorse My friend went straight to IVF because she has no man. What I wrote in the Guardian here.

ps namechanged but 'tis still VAG. Was going for something more positive. Kinda.

Ponymum - article - oh god! Will you keep us posted?

Aww, ponymum, that made me blub!

That made me blub too, lovely letter ponymum.

Hello BESHes and PESHes, long time no see. Too busy with work and too stressed about my dad's ill health to be in the mood to chat much, but wanted you to know I'm still here, thinking of you, and hoping to have a bit more time to lurk if not post over Christmas. I haven't read back but Ski tells me we've had several recent successes, so congratulations to all. Good to know it can be done!

R2D2 arrived yesterday so that's 3 months now for me. Seems like a few of us in the same boat over the weekend? We're taking the next month off from trying because I really really need to relax and try to have some fun - and that will include more than a few drinks!

weewee, it was me what did invent SWI here, many moons ago now. It's about the only thing I've created all year!

lyra and having quickly browsed that thread, I was in Kenya same time as you . Where were you?

Hi carrots, Masai Mara (amazing amazing) then Mombasa Coast (nice but weather bit dodgy). You?

Masai Mara too for a week - Cotters Camp in the south. Fabulous although so terribly dry

Then Melindi via Satao Camp in Tsavo East (we drove ourselves in a Landie from Nairobi to Melindi) and back to Nairobi a week later, again through Tsavo East but we stayed at Pattersons Camp where the man-eaters were when the railways were built. Thought it would be funny if you'd been to Melindi as there is a hotel there called Driftwood where all the Brits stay (it turns out) so you prob would have been there at the same time as us - how funny would that have been! We thought of going to Mombasa but the drive to Melindi was nicer, if a bit off-road .

Did you fly to the coast or drive? If you drove, the road to Melindi turns off that scary tarmac road when you hit Tsavo and it's dirt road all the way through the park (about a day's drive). Despite the lions and elephants and odd non-existant bridge it's much less scary that the lorry road!

I know, this is a conception thread. But how often do you find you were in the same place in Kenya at the same time?

ponymum I read that article at the weekend and thought it very moving. Very interesting to find I "know" the person behind it. I hope you manage to find the courage to make that phone call.

Lovely article ponyrump

Well news from me is that I got a phonecall today confirming that I have been referred on to the Assisted Conception Unit at the local hosp - which luckily for me is a gert big uni teaching hosp with a great repuation. Apparently waiting time for initial appointments is somewhere around 6 weeks, so hopefully will have one in Jan sometime - which will be just past the year mark for us.

Hello peeps. Hope luffly weekends were had by all. First test done. HSG = fucking agonising. Seriously. The doctors were v sweet and the nice patient assistant was cute as and then I swore at her. Well, not at her, but it was a lot like saying fuck in front of my grandma. I did apologise immediately, tho.

No actual results given, but radiographer said it looked as if the dye hadn't gone into my left tube, which means it might be blocked.

Lyra Hello, hon. Nice to see you, if briefly. Hope things are as good as possible over Christmas.

Anyone know where Polly is? If you're lurking, lady, fingers crossed for appointment tomorrow.

Cosmo Is good news re: assisted conception thing?

hello humpy, yes, is good news I guess. I mean obv I'd rather not have to go, but it's good they're going to be investigating. And TGO gets to suffer the indignities of wanking in a pot so I can laugh at that.

Sory the HSG was so painful - interesting what they said about the left tube though. When do you get the results?

camelhump so sorry to hear that your HSG was painful. Mine was the same way but so very few are. Which made me feel worse that mine was painful - like I was a sissy or summat. Which I am NOT! dammit! My left tube is blocked due to an ectopic a while back. Good news is that a tubal factor alone is pretty easy to overcome, but just remember - if your body isn't perfect it doesn't mean that YOU aren't perfect!

Cosmosis glad to hear you are moving on with humor - it's the best accessory to have for this type of thing! I've been thinking about you and your daredevil, extreme biking... it's encouraged me to lounge upon the beach then do some snorkeling next weekend!

A round of gins for the BESHlets!
xx

cunty5-0 How are you? Been thinking about you loads and wanting to give you a proper old BESHie grope and a slap. I love the idea of you lounging on the beach in my honour! I was doing a walk in the wind and the rain with full waterproofs and wooly hat on yesterday and scrambling up steep bankings to avoid flooded rivers, so I hope you were suitably suffering on the beach??

Sorry - have just read back a couple of pages... twas Thanksgiving weekend here and all so I was otherwise preoccupied with turkey and stuffing myself.

RE: how did I know it was "time" to seek assistance: For us it was a round about way. We knew I had an ectopic, but they were able to "save" the tube by not doing surgery. Which to my silly mind meant it would be still functional - no one bothered to explain to me that it was prolly shut down by the mass of cells. We tried temping and all that shiz for a few years 3 or so with no luck. But two years ago they did a HSG on me and confirmed a blocked tube. So we started taking adoption classes and go through the application process. The horror stories of troubled kids and wait times of local adoptions made us finally go visit the doctor Jan 2009. At the time I was convinced that it would only take two rounds of IUI and I'd be diffed. (it is typical for those with ectopics that the closed tube is equated with the ovary that produces more eggs - cruel twist of nature)

As for the "pain and horror" of IVF - it wasn't bad at all. The scary bit was the EC (egg collection) because I didn't know what to expect, esp the anesthesia (but it was an absolute breeze! because of the type of medicine) who these new people were and all of that - but I'd do it again in a heartbeat (money and chances allowing). It was a lot of shots, most of which I was able to give myself, but you get used to it. And they make the needles so tiny that you barely feel them. It gets annoying, but that's really it. I've been so fortunate to have a great doctor, who has constantly monitored me (dildocams and blood tests) to make sure that I was responding the way she meant me to and not overstimming. Truthfully, I was more "sick" and had more side effects from the Clomid (headaches, hot flashes) than I did from the injections for IVF. The progesterone did make me break out in spots, but a new kind of soap and some anti-spot makeup fixed that. One of the IUI was painful similar to the HSG - but I credit that to my blocked tube. Doc and nurses say that it's not the typical experience.

Typically people start seeking assistance when they have been actively trying to have a baybee for over 2 to 3 years with no luck, depending on age.

That was your educational session for the day - pop quiz to be adminsitered as I see fit. Class dismissed.

OH yeah, I forgot about dat, Happy Thanksgiving U.S.BESH. [put a pecan pie emoticon here]

Cosmowhatsis I'm actually doing quite well given the circumstances, thanks for asking (and the grope - luvs that). We took the pooch to the beach for his first taste of salt water and he hated the taste but loved the swim - went bounding about back and forth until he nearly collapsed. He's officially a salty dog now!

Ahhh yes, the beach. I've been neglecting it for too long and I've befriended a lass who reminds me of you. Extreme and all of that. She's into handball competitions, and karate and jujitsu... blah blah athletic types. I love to envy them. So I'm going to start hanging out with her and hiking, snorkeling and enjoying my island again - in person - mountains and beaches included.

Plus I can still continue to drop some pounds as I do... all the more reason. Even toying with the idea of getting back into indoor rowing racing...

Aww, cutie salty dog! (although that sounds like some kind of weird hot dog variant!)

(you all do know that really I am actually a size 34 and spend all my time eating KFC bucket dinners whilst watching shite tv don't you?)

Don't ruin my mental picture - it's actually helping to get my ass off the couch! Besides KFC is NASSS-T!

Ah Cosmo, so it was you I saw on that documentary where they had to knock a wall down to get the huge fat woman to hospital! At least that's good news for you getting to your appointment on time. Could be a great start to the New Year

My poor Cameltoe Quick, it's late and no-one's looking So sorry it hurt - don't give another second's thought about swearing and stuff; I bet your reaction was tame and restrained compared to most women's. At least it's over now and you should be getting your results soon (?).

Some v interesting info there, Cunty, thanks for that. You can read about procedures and stuff but nothing beats hearing it from 'the horse's mouth', as it were. Am still trying to get my Drs to even see me to talk about my fears and discuss testing; as I've said before, you have to speak to one of them before they'll even give you an appointment and you have no choice as to which Dr you speak to and their reactions range from basically saying 'you've left it too late' to 'you've still got plenty of time, don't worry' but none of it fucking equates to 'when can you come in?'. Am pigsick of this very real issue being dismissed. The last time I rang, the Dr gave me the distinct impression that they're fed up of dealing with 35+ women panicking about fertility and they only want to deal with the 'best chances' (hinting that my crap health history does not put me in that category). CUUUUUUUUUUUUNTS! And of course, it just makes me look like a hysterical hypochondriac that I keep ringing to try to make someone take me seriously. And just because I am one, there's no need to treat me like that!

Sorry, rant over. Feeling v down at mo and keep crying a lot, etc. Can't shake feeling that it's just not going to happen for reasons no-one will ever be able to explain. Needing violence, wimminz!

Hey all

Oooh camel, HSG test sounds horrid. I wondered how they do that kind of thing so I just looked it up and wished I hadn't. Shit, I'm not good with pain of any sorts, let alone special ladyparts that-shouldn't-go-up-there kind of pain. Have an absinthe cocktail to help deaden the memory.

Cossy, good to hear you're near the front of the queue for the next bit of fiddling with. What were the results of your dildocam? Do you know what they'll do first at the ACU? (Apart from give TGO a jazz mag)

shiney - good to have you back in here again. hope things are getting somewhere for you - and glad to hear you are distracted by lovely beaches in the meantime...

Scorps - so you have to phone your doctor and explain why you want an appointment before they'll give you one?? Whaaaatt?? What a load of wank. And are they refusing to give you an appointment? That seriously is shit - can't you change practices or something? That would make my verrry cross - I really really hate the smug I-know-betteriness of doctors and the fact that some of them think they know better than you how you're feeling/what's important. Grrrr. In the meantime, remember a healthy couple in their 20s take on average 5 months to conceive, so you're still well in the game, and in fact are lining up nicely for a BFP very soon....... I got my first positive after 6 months - anyone else who's been there like to offer their stats...?

camel sorry the test was so horrible. When do you get the results?

camel that sounds horrible. Your poor angel - I'll bet your swearing was nothing compared to the "type" of woman who doesn't work in your industry!

longwee positives at Cycle 6 and Cycle 12...

hcs Thank you for i) the explanation of your SWI history and ii) the boasting about tropical beaches.