30s TTC - More Gin Than George BESH

[Scorpette]

Come on in ladies, the bar is fully stocked with Advocaat, Bailey's and novelty Xmas drinkies and the slaves are wearing Ann Summer 'Santa's Hat' posing pouches. Have also festooned the place with plenty of festive tat and lots of v un-eco and tacky Xmas lights and shit because I know we all love getting Xmassy dead early. There's a fireplace so you can send your wish list to Santa up the chimbley, platters of wooden spoons and coconuts on the mantlepiece and 'Mulled Wine' scented candles lighting up The Pit of Despair. Make yourselves at home!

Come on folks, let's play nice - Cosmo is struggling to keep up

Cosmo, we know it's bollocks about thick summer babies - you are a fine example of everything that is right with August babies It's just that you know how we like to lay on the bitter black humour and the myth of the thick summer baby is another thing for us to be ironic about. And an opportunity for me to slag off my stingy brother

PS Those were my special gluten-free fish fingers, you caaaaaaah! Now what am I going to have to eat? We need to kidnap a hunky chef for ourselves - but they're all such mingers! We could have Allegra McCready for fun times and lezzer moments?

Good woman, keep marching, stick to the routine. Keep him in line. hut hut Teeeehhhhhhn-shun!

I'm good thanks. Will be even better when work stops being such a nightmare, but must not grumble.

Think the bar is this place is too quiet. Rack 'em up Charlie, David or whoever that is in the ermine trimmed loin cloth. And once you've done that, get the mistletoe up. Time for some festive BESH lovin'. For anyone feeling violent, I'm setting up a pit of holly and fir cones to wrestle in.

I am watching Antonio Banderas in Take The Lead so I feel I should be doing some Latin style stomping, in pretty dancing shoes.

Sorry if I upset you Scorpette, I didn't mean to. Now I don't have much energy to return that roundhouse kick. Hmm, lemme see

Also I is a July baby, which is very nearly August. I too am dead brainy.

stomp away boozer and get those bells a-jingling

ooh can we have Nigel Slater as our chef I know he's gay and all and it's not a crush of shame I just like listening to him talking about food

Ooh yeah, with you on that one loons I hearts nigel slater.

Good choice Loonpants. Although he famously refuses to answer questions about his sexuality, we all know. Just like Cosmo - who's my clever summer baby, eh? Who? Who? You are, that's right! Good girl

oh do fuck off scorps

Language, Timothy!

If I thought for a second that summer babies were thickos I wouldn't joke about it (or be so eager to get updiffed at this time!)

Scorps SIL works in publishing and was formerly at a famous bookstore and has met him many times when organising book signings. The guy who did the photography in Kitchen Diaries is his long term partner AFAIK. I'm quite gutted SIL never told me when he was in.

I adore Nigel Slater too. His cookbooks are great.

No Nigella Lawson though, she puts my teeth on edge. Even if she is very purty.

I is an August baby too, and I has 2 degrees with a slight fail on number 3.

Babyfail. But led to three yummy martinis (clear boozes so no carbs) and now epic drunkeness (no booze for a month plus period equals hammered.)

Was out ce soir with my friends what don't do cock. They have to wait for at least 6 months for a baybee - could be much longer, depending on how things go with agencies. It doesn't exactly put things into perspective - nothing helps the monthly aaargh - but things could be more complicated.

If you're hitting the menkul after two months of this shit, try getting to your first anniversary with no sign of any pregnancy at all. Doom, doom, doom.

lol @ Cosmosis HankyHole/match interface - oh she's a one isn't she? Especially for a summer baby et al!

camel The trouble with the gals who don't do cock is that the two we've had in the palace diffed instantly. I think it's something to do with the insertion of manfat and their uterii going "nom nom nom nom". But I do see your point, they know they're not going to get diffed for at least 6 months, we at least have a chance.

If Cheggers/HCS/ChoCho are reading I was wondering if they wouldn't mind telling/sharing with us how they came to the conclusion that nothing was going to happen naturally and how they came to the decision to take medical aid. I mean, what's the "breaking point" as it were? I know for example that HCS and ChoCho are long-term babyfailers but I was never able to make out Cheggers history as when she arrived at the palace she had just passed GO, collected 4000 euros and gone straight to IVF iirc.

For those of you with enough fivers to wipe your hairy bumholes with - is "straight to IVF" an option? The reason I ask is that an acquaintance (I've told Cosmo about her because the story is j-u-i-c-y) went straight to IVF with only 8 months of trying - i.e., she just threw money at the problem. It did work.

Btw, mysticskihorse's prediction - Stacey (from Gavin &) is going to experience about a billion babyfails. I was thinking this yesterday, it's the only way in which her character can grow and of course it's a wonderful poke in the eye because of course Ness is old, fat, smokes and has ONS.

Sorry, Ski, the women I was out with last night are waiting on adoption, rather than manfat. From what they were saying, is an equally-if-not-more horrible process than continual babyfail.

Am surprised that throwing money at problem is ever a good thing with ttc. IVF, from what I've read, is a fuck-awful process - am sure Cho and HCS can correct me if this isn't true. And it's not guaranteed to work. TTC seems to me like the final fucking equaliser; not even fuck loads of money will guarantee that you win a baybee.

Wow. Apparently fuck is my favourite word this morning. Apols, people, is very early and am very grumpy.

True camel, poor Cheggers was v v v sick with IVF.

Wossgoingon with Gavin & Stacey? Three people mentioned it on their FB status last night. Am I Missing Something? I only ever saw the first episode and thought it was a bit shit.

Well tbh weewee Gavin & Stacey themselves are a bit shit, the real value comes from Nessa, Smiffy and Uncle Bryn. E.g., Uncle Bryn helping Smiffy work out in his "home gym", Smiffy & Nessa's knee-tremblers - ooooh and not forgetting friends-of-family Dawnie and Pete "Fuck off you diseased dwarf", "have I changed that much in 15 years Pam, have I?" after she sent a 15 year old photo to an internet bloke to spice up her sexlife and he rejected her... honestly, it's good - but well worth fast-forwarding past anything with Stacey in.

weewee i no understand gav n stace obsession either - and some nameless BESH told me to watch Ice Road Truckers last night - which I no likey either

You no like Ice Road Truckers? What about Deadliest Catch? What sort of crazy shit do you like?

what is deadliest catch?!!? I actually not watch much tv.. I like spooks tho

Oh my lord iggy, I may have to wash my hands of you. "What's Deadliest Catch?" Don't you know anything about storm conditions 120 miles north-east of Dutch Harbour? Well, do you?

used to love Spooks but feeling let down at the mo. there used to be more variety in the plotlines... still loving true blood though, caught up with that last night