30s TTC The Loch BESH Monsters

[CurlyCasper]

Welcome along women of a certain age. The new palace has a post modern water feature, spouting forth gin from a serious of suspicious looking humps...

I've most definitely symtom spotted before ov. And earlier today I felt a bit bleugh so decided it must be ms, and not a slight hangover from charity do last night. scorps I must have been hanging round with you too long.

flooding and then a landslide, CC. Almost a metaphor for trying to get updiffed. Or something.

flooding and a landslide, don't do things by halves do you medee!

Medee sorry the bastard robot dwarf got you.

I have to put my hand up here and admit that I did consider POAS today, even though droid got me on Thurs. He only stayed 2 days so I was thinking clutching at straws that maybe it wasn't a proper droid and perhaps I am updiffed, despite not having any symptoms at all. It seems my madness is not confined to the 2ww.

Scorps I saw your post about vivid dreams and they can indeed be a symptom of updiffness (I had vey strange dreams whilst pg, the kind that went on for ever and could have been made into David Lynch-type films).

This made me think of all the other things symptoms I had so I thought I'd run them by you in case you have any - My hair stopped falling out. I couldn't stand having the shower directed onto my tits as it was SOOOO painful (which I think others have mentioned). I had a funny metallic taste in my mouth and I was so snotty that TG had to wear earplugs at night because I snored so badly. Have you got any of these symptoms?! Oh and I got nosebleeds too - never had them before or since. Oh yes, how can I forget the horrendous indigestion. And the twitchy legs that kept me awake at night.

Any of those ring a bell?

Again, I ask HOW am I the mad one? I fixate post-OV only and only about symptoms that are genuine updiff ones (nausea, hurty-boobs, weirdness on Wimbledon Common, etc., etc).

My mistake is that I'm a worrier and a waffler so it does seem like it's ALL I'm thinking about. Whereas in fact it's only MOSTLY what I'm thinking about. So HA!
And sometimes I write things to get a laugh, when I'm not really freaking out at all. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it

I've got hurty-boobs already, but is usual mastalgia (has actually not hurt today, which has made me think 'oooh, perhaps the droid-approacheth symptoms are being switched off to allow for pg ones?' ) and I have indigestion a lot and a snotty nose cos of rhinitis* and I have restless legs syndrome so again, I think I'm not going to know until I get a rumble in the jungle and a tiny bloodied human being peeks out from under my skirt at me and says 'hello Mater' (my children will be very intellectually advanced).

*My worst habit? Leaving used tissues eeeeeeeverywhere. I try to get them all, but...

Morning BESH girls! medee I'm so sorry you got droided - I can't think of a nicer place to get a droid than on a british rail delayed train in the wilderness. What are you doing up in Aberdeen? Pin-pointing exact shades of grey for a new state of the art kitchen?

As for the rest of you POAS during and after the droid!

Thank you to everybody who answered my question about how long you'd been trying - I didn't realise there were so many of you who'd been trying for such a long time. No wonder we're all fucking insane. Anyone see the Zoe Ball stuff this weekend? "ooh as soon as Norms got out of rehab I got diffed" - hmmn, because alcoholic parents to the present child are so insignificant when it comes to the conception of the next.

Obviously none of this matters because I have a friend who's been in rehab at least twice (that he's admitted) in the last 18 months and he has two kids under 3. sigh He also shagged her from Corrie when he was in rehab. My ex-best friend was in rehab 2 years ago - they got pissed every night and did a lot of shagging. And Pete Doherty got that smackhead prossie pregnant during rehab. Clearly rehab makes you horny and fertile.

I'm moving house tomorrow and it's going to be awful. I hate moving house. Hate. Hate. Hate. It's also my SWI week but I aim to continue having sex, enjoyment or NO enjoyment.

Morning Ski,

I agree that moving house is one of the shittiest things in the world. Have you got a good crew to help you out?

Well, I am feeling really miserable today...I am on CD26, so due on any time between now and Wednesday and I have ZERO updiff symptoms, and I am beginning to think the RTOD will arrive today, due to slight period-y symptoms (that can't be compared to pg symptoms).

The worst of it is that we only did SWI once this month (I know!), so it's our own fault, and it's my birthday in a couple of weeks, so there's another notch on the old hag-chart . When will it fucking end?

I think I am going to go and lurk on the AIBU threads for a laugh to cheer myself up!

ChoCho We're doing it on our own - I used pro movers last year due to having some absolutely enormous, impossibly heavy stuff which I cunningly sold this year "peanuts for the mug who takes them away".

We've got 2 rooms completely boxed and empty and waiting in the kitchen to go out to the van and jailbait used to do removals so that helps. It's just horrible - I'll get in the new place and realise we've got "nothing" and I'll end up going to IKEA and buying crap.

How auld are you intending to be this birthday?

AIBU makes my face bleed - relationships makes me want to pull my hair out. This is the only safe thread.

Ski...you are a better women than I am...I hope I have left the days of doing my own removals behind me, especially given that I am going to be 38 in a coupla weeks...

cunty am v excited for you, put your feet up and chill girl.
ski hope the house moves goes ok, just look forward to The Sex later.
I'm officially on CD14 today which means I should be OV. Have untied the GF and let him have a day of rest today, but will be SWI again later. I have tied a blue ribbon around the wooden spoon, although I did find it in the dog's bed this morning.
scorpette I dreamt I had a pet lion in my garden. Surely thats a sign I am updiffed already?
"Slave Boy, where is my brandy coffeeeeee??"

Well last year it was more necessity than anything else, I'd just had abdominal surgery and my 60 year old dad offered to help - I thought it was all going to end in tears so I hire a removals company. 700 euros but saved a whole load of heartache.

38? Holy cow!

Freyja I fear this is where you're going wrong - a GF (girlfriend) doesn't have spermies! haha, are we all going for it with wooden spoons this month? How about a fish slice? I could have a baybee mermaid!

cunty We need an update please! Did he punch you in the shoulder again? Swift dig to the ribs? Kidney-block? For the newbies, I think it was cunty's fella who initiated the violence here.

Ski...I know...but I was a mere 34 when we started ttc...waaah!

Ski - if you couldn't afford a proper plastic surgeon to do the surgeon instead of getting your Dad round with his penknife, then maybe you should've waited and saved up?
PS Your Dad is young; mine was a man-BESH cradlesnatcher and is now nearly 69 (snigger). Am ignoring fact that I'll be in my 70s when my future baybees are my age

Cho - big roundhouse kick to a fellow ancient Scorp TTC 4 years? That needs a kick in its cunt

Plastic surgeon to do the surgery, obviously. Bah!

My dad had an older woman... so it runs in the family. As for the surgery ... it was a plastic surgeon who buggered it up. Everyone said I should've sued him but I just don't ever want to see him again if that makes sense. I don't want him touching me, I don't want him looking. Unless of course you're referring to my dad chopping off my cock with a Swiss Army knife...

ChoCho Well you never knew about the wooden spoon before did you? Durrrr!

Scorp...well almost 4 years, but yes deffo needs a kick in its cunt

Morning ladies. I can't keep up with you all! Damn crafting is eating up all my time at the moment - even telly time. My eyes are about to fall out with exhaustion!

Wah Gwan round ere? I note new members (Hi), 2Woofling (same) etc. Any confirmed up diffed folk?!

I've hit a new record in 2woofling. Proper neverseenbefore mentalness started during R2D2 this month. Having bought mammoth amounts of OPK's, Preseed and a thermometer I felt I was more prepared than ever before!

Am now 2DPO and I am seriously impressed that the 2Woofl is already WELL underway. I never get sick of it! I have a spot (never happens) AND I can smell wee. So there - I am obviously up-diffed

ski if I was 17, with a belly ring, smoking crack like a chimney, eating kebabs every day, and on the pill, I'm sure if I had a girfriend I'd be updiffed by now.

I want a baybee, really I do.

Just stocked up on aspirin, anything goes this month.

Has anyone tried a fertility spell?

haha I too had an aspirin for breakfast frejya. extremesitting yay, you're back! cunty's diffed, everyone else is just mad.

Camel couldn't agree more... not liking London, loving t'North. No, not starting a N/S divide pointless argument, just saying that Yorkshire is very pretty and for me, and I appreciate some people like this about it, London is way too full of people/lights/noises/stuff going on.

Polly that's exactly what I did last droid POAS). There lies madness.

Day 11 for me. Still got clean knickers and spending every other minute trying to avoid rushing to the loo just to check them again.

and WHILE I appreciate...

(POAS

Buggeration.

I'll get my coat.

Extreme, it's funny you say that because when you're around I can smell wee too...

If extremesitting is getting an overwhelming aroma of wee maybe she needs to wash the damned dressingown again!

carrots Have you POAS yet? Are you wiping your cervix with your finger every time you go to the loo to check for ... well, pretty much anything really - although preferably a scroll of paper with the word PREGNANT written on it.

Frejya - I did a fertility spell and I got updiffed but baby jebus made my womb all slippery

Eat a salad every day with parsley, fennel, sunflower seeds and plant parsley in a pot and pat the earth round it every day thinking about your lickle baybee. Parsley is very good for fertility.