30s TTC The Loch BESH Monsters

[CurlyCasper]

Welcome along women of a certain age. The new palace has a post modern water feature, spouting forth gin from a serious of suspicious looking humps...

Ah longwee I feel bad that you are over there with rubbishy forrin piss sticks - would you like me to send you some? I really don't mind - I bulk buy them from access diagnostics online. I did just check their website and they don't send to your part of the world, but I could send them on?

Do they not have red biros over there either, smellsofwee?

cheeky mare! Mary-Doll at least, surely?

Aw, cheers poopy - but actually I reckon having not very sensitive piss-sticks should stop me testing early in future... I always said I would only test if I was a week late - and somehow this month that turned into two days early...

Although of course there is a chance that they are sensitive enough to test early, and it's just that I'm not pregnant. Crazy idea tho obv....

Haha scorps but I like the idea....

Good evening fellow BESHers.

Apologies for the slight detour into lulu land yesterday. Feeling a bit brighter today. Thanks camel for the severe talking to (yes I had one droid since having the coil out but no ov yet so I guess what they would call not an actual droid, more body giving up) and ski for the shagging advice. Turns out that today when I POAOPK the line was WAYYYY obvious so I went to show it to YOB and he sort of sighed... not a great reaction!! He did say he would "gird his loins" tho so looks like I'm gonna be at it again.

Temps still low, and I was getting a bit nervous having seen some signs of FFJ but no Ov. However def more FFJ today and with positive POK I'm feeling like maybe I am working ok.

I wanted to ask, I felt really rough this morning - almost periody. Quite bloated, some sharp pains in my abdo on both sides (twins? ) as well as mild cramps and feeling a bit icky, I think because of the cramps. Does this sound like ovulation or more like I ate a dodgy pizza last night?

Talking of accents, I grew up in the Peak District (right on the edge of) but have lived dahn sahth a lot, and moved up to Yorkshire about 10 years ago so I sound a little bit posh up here and quite common down there.

Ooooh Carrots, tell me on our FB group where on the edge of the Peak District you grew up!

Yep, you are defo OVing and your mister is right to gird his loins A bloaty tum is a classic sign and I always get that (okay, even bloatier than usual, that is). The crampiness is Mittelschmerz and is another classic sign that you are a chick-chick-chick-chick-chicken, laying a little egg for you! And remember, cos FFJ is albumen-like, most of it stays up inside yer and doesn't flow out and ruin your knickknacks like water FJ.

Now stop writing on here and go get some sweet monkey lovin'. Or perfunctory baby-making sex. Whatever you opt for, just get some!

PS make sure it's in your foofoo. And don't forget to put a wooden spoon under the bed before you start. Get shagging!

watery, arsebiscuits.

afternoon all. I haz lots of chocolate goodies here in aid of halloween, so help yourselves. I've also thrown all the alcohol I could find into this large cauldron so grab a large glass of halloween punch I also chucked some cough medicine in there for to aid the ffj. And I'm wearing my best witches hat.

Today's (9dpoish) symptoms are weird wombular feelings, kind of cramps, but v v v mild cramps.

I do think there are a lot of good symptoms around this month though BESHes, scorps, weewee, caspar and our beloved dressinggown lady.

ps re accents, reasonably posh southern with northern vowels.

And that's not watery arsebiscuits, either. A fine Derbyshire delicacy though they may be

particularly nice with cheese I find

thanks cosmo blood coloured punch is gooooood

Can I borrow some choccies too? As we're going out tonight I failed to get anything and I'm sure some brats darlings will show up between now and me leaving (spesh as SFF isn't even home from his shift yet). Sitting here in relative darkness... (defo the right emoticon)

Go carrots! I re-read my ov stick instructions today while clearing out my stash drawer (22 OPKs and 2 HPTs - wish that was the other way round). a positive means your egg will pop in the next 24-36 hours - so do as scorp says, monkey lover! And if you get your temp spike tomorrow, and the next two day and so on, you know you're in with a good chance.

Anyone else struggling to imagine cosmo's accent after that description?

On subject of where we live/grew up, think my BIL is in your direction scorpina

Thanks scorp and casper and [hugs emoticon] and [pull hair emoticon] just to show my sincere heart lovey love.

scorp any news on the bloody knickers? With DS, I had a bleed when my driod was due which lasted an hour or so, but stopped, then I tested BFP two days later. Hope you're still sticking in there.

I'm off to find a wooden spoon

take all you need, I bought extra -to- -trough- -on- -myself- just incase we get more than I thought, so there is plenty to go round.

lol re accent, I get told I sound vv northern when I go back down south, but all the locals think I sound southern. I dunno really. I hate my voice, I think I sound wet.

oh fuckadoodledo. just cross those words out in your head when you read them.

weewee sorry you haven't got decent STPO there. Holding out for you.

cosmo During a further mission to establish your accent, I just realised from your school info on Facecrack that you're from the same area as SFF is originally (moved to bumpkin-land when he was 13)

so if I picture what moving further north (not to the north) has done to his accent, I think I kind of get it

I think I missed the wooden spoon thing, do you stick it up your foof after swi to stop the spermz doing a runner?

Where do you live cosmo? In a sort of rough region way as opposed to an exact I'm going to stalk you address way.

the other end of the same city as you carrots

Althouh I did initially read that as you telling me I lived in a rough region and I was about to get all offended.

Oh aye, Curlers? Your FB info was v interesting! You sound like a young Annette Crosbie in my head now. Or possibly Miss Jean Brodie

Cosmo, I know where you live, but is that where you're originally from? I need to know the accent now!

2WOOFL madness now reaching critical mass! TYF wants us to go to his friends' house for Hallowe'en. Apart from wanting/needing to be alone with my birthday choccy insanity and feeling sick as a dog (are the two related? ), his friends are only 28 and the other people they're inviting even younger and I feel like an awkward Gran invited to a teen's birthday bash. And the friends don't want kids and they met a lot of the other friends who are coming via a website for people who don't want kids and last time we went round, it was chockablock full of young and fertile bitches snarking about how women who want kids are thick broodmares who've been inculcated into societal nonsense about what constitutes femininity, blahblahblah. My ovaries nearly formed the shape of fists and punched them. And all they ever want to do is play crappy puter games. Dullsville!

oh that does not sound like a night that would mix well with woofling scorpybaby.

do you want the long or short version of where I am from?

I'm from Lancashire and I talk like i'm from Lancashire except when I'm on the phone at work or when I'm talking to senior people at work whom I don't know very well. To everyone else my accent is as flat as a pancake, with occasional cockneyisms due to living with a cockerney. Leev it aaahhht, fackin ell trea'al

For those that frequent Wimbledon Common - we sould meet up at the Windmill for a nice cup of tea and a bath bun sometime. And I live over the road from it, but I don't work there. Richmond is quite handy though - go to the Orange Tree quite often...

On accents:

I hail from southern Ireland, and though I have been here for over twenty years it still sounds VERY irish to british people, however when I go home to the family I am rightly taken the pish out of for being all english and stuff, and drunk men in pubs make me say random words in my "english" accent. Clearly to them I sound like Jamie Oliver or some other such like...

I also use words like darlin and honey, but ye are not allowed to persecute me for it because I am an emotional old bear and I love sharing the love around.... and b'sides, it's not offensive with the irish lilt (made to make your mouth water!)

Cosmo sounds like your symptoms are the same as mine. WHY MUST WE BE PUNISHED WITH THE WAIT.... AARGHHHHH!!! And why must half the month involve planning the heck out of how your going to do it better this month, followed by two weeks of wondering if you have done enough. Poor OH's knob is going to fall off if I carry on with this routine, and I am SOOOOOOOOO over sex

Scorp... those kids know nothing. Wait and see, one day their hormones will come and bite them on their arses just like they did to us. Fuck'em I say! Just sit there with a smug adult face - y'know where you look at them like they are silly little girls

Oi Cunt Don't you be organising Besh hookups when some of us aren't in tube/ overland rail distance!