30s TTC The Loch BESH Monsters

[CurlyCasper]

Welcome along women of a certain age. The new palace has a post modern water feature, spouting forth gin from a serious of suspicious looking humps...

Hello to all waves

erm right...

1. Do you drink gin? (hint, say yes)Yes! (Can I say that really my tipple is a bottle of wine with a very long straw?)

1. Are you a 'journalist' for the Daily Heil? Nope

1. Is there a man involved or are you a turkey baster type? A rather nice younger man actually! Decided that seeing that I was getting on I'd better choose younger sperm!

1. Either way, who is your lesbian crush of choice? Ooh not sure... Kristin Scott Thomas

1. If man involved, is he (a) still at school, or (b) suffering senile dementia? Reception age - still plays computer games

1. Now the big test: which is the correct hole? (a) wee wee, (b) foo foo, or (c) Mr Hanky's house? Difficult one hmmm (b) foo foo - or can I phone a friend?

1. What colour are you walls? Jasmine white mainly...

1. Crush of shame. Richard Hammond even though I could pop him in my bag!

Do I pass?

Thanks for the heart welcome yesterday!

Didn't manage to get back online last night as was masquerading as a domestic goddess. Trying to keep on good side of darling hubbie in case he changes his mind and decides not to join me in my baby-making mission!

Glad you lot are as barking as I suspected!

Hoping we'll manage to SWI tonight - having the weirdest droid this month. The kind that just keeps giving. Hope it packs it in soon!

gah! hearty not heart!

Sounds like you will fit in well here Stream. How much younger is your man/child? Scorpette and Ski are both cradlesnatchers cougars.

Right, I'm off to get ready for work. Have a good afternoon BESHies. Soz you are feeling so crappy Ponymum and Cunty I also heart your 'tude

underneath Yep, Scorps had "similar" - a man who strung her along for 7 years I believe and then announced "Oh I never wanted kids, it's just if you tell women these sort of things they leave!". Bastards.

Further questions to "how do I win a baybee"?

i) If you've put Mr. Winkey in your foofoo do you :

i) pray to the baby Jebus
ii) relax and it'll "just happen"
iii) put a spoon under your pillow

Tell us more about your schoolboy, mine is 24 and the first box he unpacked was the X-box - "just to make sure it wasn't broken". Meanwhile obviously the dogs are parched from thirst and I'm more worried about finding my coffee machine.

cunty Ooooh - get you. I dare you go to on to the preggo thread and announce your lunch! They'll have social services at your desk by 2pm!

Pony You poor little thing - is this foal behaviour simply a sign of things to come?

iggy rah rah rah!

PS Richard Hammond? Why? Why?

Hi underneath. Hurrah! I'm not the only one here now with a totally shit ex

Well, fuckpissweepoo I didn't ov as my temp was still low this morning. So I'm giving in and buying some OPKs. THAT's how desperate I am, but given that YOB had to wake me at 10.30 as I lay in bed and sulked with the covers over my head from 7.30 when I temped, I decided I needed to something else.

Scorps good news about temp. While it's high, it's the right way, what. I went back to t'bible and although I can't see her mentioning it ANYWHERE I can see lots of temp charts with a dip in around or just after implantation time. in-ter-es-ting.

Poor Scorps. Bastards is too nice a word for them wasting our best breeding years.... mutter mutter

"how do I win a baybee"?

i) If you've put Mr. Winkey in your foofoo do you :

i) pray to the baby Jebus Absolutely NOT
ii) relax and it'll "just happen".
iii) put a spoon under your pillow - eh?!

My infant male is actually only 5 years younger than me chronologically, but in real terms (he's an IT nerd) he's still about 13.... and yes he would do the same as yours if we were moving - except it's not an Xbox - it's 4... yes FOUR computers.... sigh

Re Richard Hammond I just hang my head in shame... "I know, I know.."

underneath ahem - I am an IT nerd. I did maths & software engineering at uni. But I still know what a winky is and I didn't learn everything I know about men from porn sites.

You should put more effort in to "praying to the baby jebus" - it's a common TTC method advocated by american TTC sites. The wooden spoon under the pillow I believe was gleaned from another TTC site/book. There have also been some classics from GPs/fertility clinics along the lines of "are you having sex?"

I loved the pregnancy test digital phrases. I'm going with the simply Nelson-style "ha ha" which can also be seen at almost any cashpoint.

Gin!!!! Miss you, love you, need you (have I gone a bit far?). Blessings to Mani and his booze; old besh block, chip of.

Pony blueurgh back. I feel like sickshit too. BUT! despite this, I am obliged to eat every 10 minutes. It's an alien take over. You know?

Scorp Lyra happy birthday my pretty young ones (yes, you are).

Bra snaps all round.

Hello hags, mostly lurking today. very little time and opportunity to post having skived off for blood tests this morning and also being knackered after last night's incident (see facecrack if you can be arsed reading a rant )
welcome intheditch, welcome back ski, gin and kim. Funny bone cracks all round.

P.S Might have to take refuge here later tonight if peace talks/sanction negotiations at home do not go well...

Curly Thanks for punches - I'm covered in bruises right now anyway - I look like a leopard. I'm going to get some masking tape out and do "Jocelyn Wildestein" eyes tonight to give jailbait a treat in the bedroom. SEX FOR FUN!

KIIIM!!!!! you just made me fecking well smile you lovely crazy person. Been having a rough time of late but am okay. Actually got the warm fuzzies from your message.

glad you doing okay.well,vomiting and stuffing your face,but okay.

Helloooo ponybum also,and glad the move went well ski. welcome new lushes,incidentally still playing computer games is not a sign of youth,just a sign of being a bloke.

Off to Cornwall this afternoon.fuck knows I need it!

hey y'all, how is everyone.

I'm having some 'local difficulty' (office snoop) at the moment, so only able to scan quickly through the thread. I just wanted to clink glasses and have one for the girlsroad. Feeling very sorry for myself today, so much so, I have only gone and ordered one of those contraptions off t'internet. You know, the one that tells you the exact right time to the millisecond when to make a baybee??? . Am I allowed to join the 'Menkul Club'?.

hi stream and kim and polpoo, I don't think I've introduced myself.

ski nice to hear you are moved in and the coffee machine is unpacked .

CBD: "you CANNOT be serious" in a John McEnroe stylee.

Ooo, kimdelicious, join me over here in the vomitting corner. I have a spare bucket. I too have the eating every 10 minutes problem, but it's a weird paradox of hangover-style needing-to-eat-to-put-a-lid-on-this combined with an overwhelming feeling of disgust at the thought of any food actually passing my lips. Hence I eat whatever weird stuff I can force myself to chew and swallow. e.g. a fish finger, some frozen yoghurt, a yorkshire pudding(?!), and some flat lucozade. (It's not any prettier when it comes back up either.)

Skihorsey Last time it lasted until nearly 4 months. The comments I get are either:
a) "Well at least you know it's a strong one." Que?
b) "Oh, I had terrible morning sickness too, I know just how you feel."
If it's (b) the conversation invariably goes on to reveal that "Oh, no I never actually vomitted, but I did feel queasy for at least a week."
(And excuse me, "sex for fun"? You are today's Queen Menkul.)

Where's cunty? I just got an email from Cosmosis and she says "well done girl!" re: your hysteria-filled lunch.

Right, can I have a quick check of the next lot of WOOFLers? Me, Curly and carrots are all about CD14 right now which means we'll start going menkul after the weekend - anyone else with us?

Has someone left the door open again? There seems to be more strangers in my our bar. Hello, Underneath. Nice to meet you, it's your round. (See? I know how to win friends and influence people)

I have to eat every 10 minutes, but I'm not pregnant. Bloody droid.

ski I'm not woofing yet coz I haven't even laid a bloody egg.

HELP PLEASE!! I went out and bought an OPK pack like some kind of wailing idiot, and tried it even though I had weed less than 4 hours ago. TWO LINES! Fab, I thought, I'll grab YOB before we head off to a friend's tonight. Then I read the instructions (very man-like of me to do that after, sorry) and it said my line needed to be the same, or stronger than the control line. Well I think my line was a bit less strong, but not much - really hard to tell. SO. Is it because I should have not weed for 4 hours so there wasn't enough LH to make the line stronger, or is it ok if it's ALMOST the same, or is the difference usually quite marked, OR have I just wasted £4 or WOT?

No FFJ to speak of and I've not temp surged yet so I'm hopeful that although I had some FFJ (not a lot) I've still got a chance this month.

carrots Would the application of a felt-tip pen to the offending line clear the situation up for you any? Voila!

Have you considered just "having sex"?

Right, I'm off stables-bound - that way if I've got a ikklebaybee I can make it an ikkleangelbaybee with some sitting trot.

Carrots - what's your cycle usually like?

Don't forget stress can delay ovulation so you should JUST TRY TO RELAX. How about some calming herbal tea? Meditation? Did you know that most babies happen when you least expect it?

I'm here, I'm still alive and I haven't bled out. I declare blue cheese to be harmless. Didn't have wine though, the selfish bint brought flowers instead.

Been out for a walk on Wimbledon Common - thought of you all

cunty good news

ideal seriously useful info, cheers m'love

ski oh thanks for the penning-in. Preparing for sitting in the vets with a small child drawing on a paper bag? Oh no, that was me. Just have sex? Yes, no problem. I'd not thought of that. Seriously, I just can't keep having all the sex (wail). I want to make sure it's worthwhile! Actually what I want is to make sure I'm actually working properly, that's what I really want.

So noone knows then. You're all rubbish

ideal oh and this is my first cycle since having the Mirena out, and I ditched my last temp charts from trying for DS as they were evidence of sex with (whispers) another man (did anyone hear). Obviously DS isn't really evidence. So I don't bloody know.

Cunty - you clearly work v near me! Am in Richmond.

Glad to hear you're not haemorraging in a corner somewhere.

Carrots - you are working properly. Go and eat some almonds, asparagus and take some maca. Or something...Have you had a period since the coil came out?

cunty I was at Wimbledon Common on Sunday - will be there again this Sunday

iggy - is you hunting wombles?