30s TTC The Loch BESH Monsters

[CurlyCasper]

Welcome along women of a certain age. The new palace has a post modern water feature, spouting forth gin from a serious of suspicious looking humps...

Fanks for violence BESHes - much appreciated

BESHes - taking the S out of BESH

I don't rilly do soppy (I blame the parents ) or talking about stuff - is v. good to mention babyfail stuff on here cos I really really don't talk about it in the real world not least cos I haven't told any mates...

curly good news about doc - am kind of tempted to try the visiting doctor route...

gin sorry you having shit time - will think of you in early Nov..

got to catch up on thread now...

oh yeah HAPPY BIRFDAY SCORPS AND LYRA

! Patent pending!!

bollocks to piss sticks weewee and bess

Can I suggest a couple of my favourites?

'Don't be absurd'

'Ha! Think again buddy'

'It was wind'

cunty tell us more about being diffed - are you vom styling?

Morning hags. Happy Birthday to Scorpette and Lyra! Anyone fancy a round of champagne cocktails and a fry-up?

Come on Scorps - need to know if you POAS yet. It is sounding promising - especially the spots. DD has got so used to seeing me POAS that on the mornings where I don't have to do it, she hands me a pretend one to wee on, then she gets another for herself, holds under and pretends to wee whilst saying "stick mummy".... What am I teaching my daughter?!

I saw on facewank that Ski has successfully moved house, so hopefully she will rejoin us soon, yay!

Having said that I fancy a month off from ttc, at day 8 of my cycle I may be changing my mind. I am so predictable . I thought that seeing as I have FC appt on 1st December it would be sods law to get updiffed before that. (See how my logic bends to my will?)

Another suggestion for piss stick

'It's your own money you're wasting...'

sorry bessie. Hope the latte went down ok in the end. was it the gin or the FFJ that put you off? or maybe it's was weewee's filthy mouth. How dare she say... ... marmite
Anyway, it's not over till the droid starts beeping so, as you were, obsess away...

PISS STICK:
"FFS lady, come back when you've actually had a shag"

iggy no, no sickness yet, just remarkably hungry all the time, spatial awareness has gone to shiz and can't form full sentences without stammering and ending in a random squeak. Just like being on da weed innit.

Confess to carrying a tesco bag round in my handbag though in case of sudden sickness on public transport. Does not help that I am emetophobic in a big way and the thought that I might be sick makes me feel sick

Mornin', BESHettes! {grin] Happy birthday to Lyra (and to meeeeeeeeeeee) and thanks for your lovely birthday wishes. I have a sticky ginger cake in the oven, thanks to TYF (who couldn'y be bothered to do it last night [sulk]). Hopefully also have a bun in the oven, hurhur - see what I did there?

I did POAS but it was one of LongWee's inventions - the "I'm not even going to fucking answer that coz you're ONLY 8DPO" one Not really sad - knew DPO8 is far too early.

Have had a massive temp spike (4 points) after yesterday but mastitis has returned. Worry that did too much at gym yesterday and implantation failed Still, the acne is now worse than it'd been since I was about 17, so that better be a fucking sign. I've been crying and saying I don't want to leave the house - it really is THAT bad. Am going to have to do 'Cosmetics Counter Hag' trowelled on base to resemble a human female.

Still, got lots of ace pressies, inc. the graphics tablet, so yay! Am off to do me hair and that now. Laters, my lovelies xx

PS Sorry to fellow 'POAS says no' BESHes.
PPS A few more suggestions for the range: 'Are you a man?'. 'Don't make my arse laugh'. 'What makes you think that YOU can have a baby?' and 'Don't feel like telling'.

Cunty how many weeks are you? at the tesco bag in your handbag!

Sorry to hear you are having such a shit time Ginhag. (delivers hard pinch on arm and runs away)

Loving the new messages on piss sticks! How about "How many times do I have to tell you? The answer is still NO you fucking mental"

Scorps mastitis is a really good sign. When I was updiffed with dd I had to wear a bra in bed from about 4 weeks till about 10 weeks, it was so painful otherwise. So you MUST be updiffed. Stupid stick.

Morning, and Happy Birthday Lyra and Scorps.

I love the POAS alternative messages, can I have one that just says 'I pity you', or 'tragic'?

So after yesterday's DEFCON1 level of woolfing, I did another poas and it was another negative, but it was an internet cheapo test anyway, and I'm still not on the rag, anyway, so I could still be updiffed anyway, couldn't I...couldn't I?

LMAO @ 'you fucking mental'

polyp am 5 whole weeks Only 2 to go before it all tumbles into my gusset

Royal dilemma: copious puking indicates reduced chance of miscarriage, but higher chance of appointment at abortion clinic. How to resolve?

My god. Have you all POAS for the funs today? Should I get the one that lurks in my desk drawer out and join in, even though I am menstruating like a good'un?

Scorp. Am going to speak sternly to you on your birthday (just briefly, then will return to the general merriment). YOU CAN'T SHAKE THE BABY OUT OF YOUR VAG BY GYMMING. In fact, increasing blood flow to uterus = better quality of lining = more chance of implantation. Maybe.

Stop that, Cunty!

Please immediately go to your local hardware store and purchase a roll of gaffer tape, then cut a length and adhere to your leydeezunmentionables to prevent aforementioned baybee falling out.

In the meantime, as a back up plan, buy one of those creepy real baby type things and start feeding it human blood so that it comes alive by the end of 40weeks, a la Freddie Fruitcake in TV's Psychoville.

Does sickness indicate decreased risk of m/c...I did not really feel sick during either of my lickleangelbaybee pregnancies...should that have been a sign, and if I EVER get updiffed again, does it count if a stick my fingers down my throat at regular intervals?

cameltoe you can induce miscarriage by over exercising though, if you are updiffed you mustn't push yourself, just do what you normally would.

CUNextTuesday everything will fall into place (emotionally) when you have the baby, don't worry.

Ooo look I'm here again. Can't quite stay away from the BESH lushes.

Happy birthday scorps n Lyra!

I think there should be a piss stick that simply says 'TWAT'! Or what about one that actually shouts at you??? 'MENTALIIIST!!!'

speaking of mentals - scorp I went to the gym loads when pg with mani. Even after 42 weeks he still didn't wanna come out. So shuddup and worry about something else stop worrying.

I can't wait til the weekend. Seeing my folks who are utterly lovely,and then sun and mon night in a lush hotel,all alone with mr gin.

And I'm trying to be a bit more positive. Should last,ooo at least half an hour.

Cheers for the comedy violence as usual.

Yay, hello ginhag (ratbag)

My lovely friend wasn't even slightly sick during pg and her small creature baby thing is now nearly 3 weeks old.

I barfed like an alcoholic with food poisoning throughout my pg with mani,and also throughout the 12 week babyfail one. I think it's a lot down to the way your body responds not just whether the pg is ok or not.

And cunty you are right to be freaked at what you have got yourself into. Whatever anyone else says I stand by my words that the first few weeks are pretty bloody awful. As long time palace occupants know I didn't go into full 'rush of love' mode straight away,I was mostly tired and terrified.

It was entirely worth it though.the kid is ace (though tantrums suck)

there is no harm going into things with your eyes open.

Ps hello beshie !!

gin did you see the tip of the day when it said blow gently into the face of a tantruming toddler? Try that

Must confess I'm more of the school of thought that suggests shouting 'shut up' very loudly into the face of a tantruming toddler (whether or not it is mine)

Mani would smack me one! Unless the gin fumes knocked him out...

I love toddler tantrums, they are hilarious.

and at the same time soul-destroying, spirit-crushing and ear-shattering