Feisty & Fabulous at 40+ more adventures of TTC

[gonepearshaped]

Actually now I feel guilty using up the last post of the thread - hope this will do as a continuation

Hi All, quick update. Spending day in bed on docs orders. Had some brown spotting yesterday. Went to docs. Baby is fine, heartbeat still there and she saw a sub chorionic haemmorage which I'll google to check out. Basically, a little bit of blood. Not to worry. Gave me a shot of progesterone in my bum (ouch) and said all the medicine in the world wouldn't help if I didn't rest. She thinks I'm crazy. I told her I had to sing Mozart's Requiem on Saturday and she just raised an eyebrow.

Anyway, got lots of books and mumsnet, DH took boys to school and friend doing pick up, crazy baby with his nana and nanny so I can listen to him shouting and laughing all day bless him. Doc also said I wasn't to lift him .

Anyhoo, will update soon.

Good progress italian

sorry don't have a lot of time to name check everyone (tried yesterday evening on the train and lost my connection... boo)

but just wanted to say, ILGH hope you're not getting too bored, or too spooked by googling. Stick with the good books! Thinking of you, forced relaxation is a pretty tough one

Hi all,
ILGH I wish my doctor would tell me to stay in bed, excuse to read and eat tasty snacks.
I'm sure you will be on your feet again soon, I hope the haemorrhage resolves very soon and you can get back to life as normal. In the meantime do you have enough help with your DCs so that you can rest?

Italian how are you getting on with the hormones? Any side-effects? Are you getting much info on the progress of the donors?

I'm still taking the agnus castus, hoping it will get everything back to normal by next week (urk face).

Hi ILGH all the best for your time of enforced rest. Hope it is nice.

Rowing How is it going?

Donor (only one) is progressing and the other couple are ready so it is all just heading towards the conclusion in the next few weeks, I think we are into the last home stretch now.

I listened to Zita West in the bath tub last night. It was so nice and relaxing.

All the best

Just updating my info.
Quick hello.
ILGH so pleased all seems to be working out for you, please continue to follow doc orders and take it easy.
IGH.... so close now
hippy special squeeze for my beach chum

must dash, so sorry to not catch up with more of you individually. Will try harder next time! x

Hopeful45 Age-45 - TTC#4 -DD(10);DD(6);DS(4)
Jollster Age-42 -TTC #2 after 2MMC DS(1yr10mo)
HippyChick Age- 43 -TTC #3?
Frosticle Age 45 - TTC#2 DD (4)
Gumblossom Age 43 - TTC #6 DS(18)DS(16) DD(12)DD(9)DS(1)
Tetleytea Age 42 - TTC#2 DD (3.5)
RowingBoat Age 43 (nearly wrote 53) TTC#2 going for FET March?
ILoveGH Age 40 - TTC#4 DSx3
TheFatLadyScreams Age 41 - 11 weeks PG #1
KiwiKat Age 44 - TTC#2 DS (3.7) IVF - Mar-10
Italiangreyhound Age 45 - TTC#2- DE IVF-April-10 - DD(5)
Woodelf still 46 TTC#2 DS(3) - natural conc.
Dechen age 45 TTC#3, DS 12 AID with Clomid), DD 9 (AID without Clomid)
Praggy Age 45 - TTC#1 after 3 m/c (natural conceptions)
Alfiemac Age 43 - TTC#3 DS's (3.8) - ICSI
SilverStuddedBlue 45 - TTC#2 DD (5)
Laurasmiles - TTC#3 DS(5) DD(3) (natural)

Hi all,
Italian, sorry I think I thought it was a double donor situation, but it is just the egg isn't it?!
I'm glad you are feeling nice and chilled with no side-effects, just as it should be.
It's very exciting all this.
I'm having PMS from hell again, being ridiculous and paranoid.
A really silly thing which upset me a bit today was that DS's best mate is going to be doing the same gym class as him from next session. They have been in different classes before this and I thought that it was a good arrangement, because I think they would completely distract each other and it would be a bit of a waste of time.
I'm sure I'm being silly, but I was a bit fed-up when I found out he was joining DS in his class.
At the root of this is that the best mate kind of dominates my DS, he is a lovely boy, but very full-on, so it was nice for DS to have his own little thing, but now it's kind of being invaded.
What am I like! [in Alan Carr voice]
When is the next bond film out, I really want to go and see Daniel Craig running about??

Rowing when I first read your post I thought it was your dear hubby whose best mate was joining his gym class and I thought I can?t believe hubby still does ?gym? and why does it bother Rowing if he joins!

I have similar situation with DD and her class, friend will be joining, and they get on really well sometimes but not so much other times! Not sure the friend dominates but they certainly argue and fall out and I am worried DD will not make those good 'other' friendships once VBF is in the class!

Personally, I think it is best just to go with the flow and try and help your DS to be more assertive generally around the other kid. I would try and befriend the other kid and get him round for tea on home turf so when you see your DS being a bit domineered by his friend you could step in (subtly) and try and show DS how to handle it, either there at the time or later alone. Obviously, without further dominating him!

Yes, I know you did not ask for advice so I should but out!

I guess it is one of those things where your DS has a new chance to learn and having already been in the class beforehand he may be a bit more able to stand up for himself than you are expecting.

It?s weird isn?t it, we do want them to stand up to others but then when we say how we want things to go (off to bed, now, no more TV,eat that up), or whatever, we want them to do as we say!! Dilemmas, oh well, good luck.

Hi Italian,
thank you for taking an interest, it is tricky. On one hand you want children to do what you ask without arguing and on the other you want them to disagree to what their friends and not be a doormat. The problem is teaching them to disagree properly, without losing the plot.
We spend a lot of time with his best mate and do loads with him so I don't have any qualms about stepping in and having a nice 'chat' about a nicer way to do things.
I think I'm just being weird really, perhaps we see so much of them that I want a bit of space. I don't know - see I told you I had PMS.
I had a chat with DP about it today and warned him he would think I was being daft before I started. It was quite helpful, we ran through the options and really I think I have to see how it goes, no point dramatising the whole thing.
One other issue is that, before we go into the class we have a lunch in the foyer with some of his classmates and they can be a nightmare as a group, very rough and getting upset over nothing, the thought of one more noisy kid is enough to push me over the edge. I would just go home for lunch, but I really like talking to the other mums.
[Gives self a big shake and then another shake]
Did anyone see Eddie Izzard running on BBC3? I found his attitude fantastic, so determined, just like us!!

Hello! How are you? ILGH Ihope the bleeding has stopped and thae bedrest isn't too hard. I had to do it last time due to an irritable uterus and it was difficult to stay in one spot.I didn't have to do it for too long thankfully.

Can I get you opinion on something? I had to phone and make a docs appointment yesterday as my DD has had recurring impetigo (it's a bacterial skin rash) and despite three visits to the doc already, it still hasn't resolved.
Well, last week I'd made an appointment for Monday morning, but over the weekend it looked better, so early Mon morning I cancelled the appointment.
When I rand this time the receptionist said she could get me in to see the same doc "just as long as you keep the appointmnet as Dr may not take to kindly to you cancelling again".
Am I right in thinking she was being rude and condescending? I actually said to her, "I would have thought you'd appreciate a cancelled appointment as I always have such difficulty getting one". Her reply was ,"no, not really".
Anyway I made an appointment to see a different doctor and promptly wrote a letter of complaint.Am I being unreasonable to feel annoyed? Should I just let it go?
It makes me feel so angry, because every appointment I have there I have to wait about an hour(which is no fun with toddler in tow) and I never complain about that!
Let me know what you think.

I'm going to post it in the "Am I being unreasonable..." section!
Still, I think of you as my friends, so would like to know what you think.

I hope everything is going smoothly for everyone.

Gum, my experience of docs receptionists, with some exceptions, is that being snotty is part of the job description. Not her business to comment on your cancelling - she had no idea why.

Rowing, I had it in my head you meant your DH at the gym too. How odd. I know what you mean about your DS having his own space though.

Anyhoo, no more spotting so far. Have been resting loads and feel v lazy as well as sick.Mum has offered to stay and I think I should take her up on it to the end of the first trimester (17 April). That means she'll have been here two months. I hope we'll both survive til then! Another reason for her to stay is that we're moving on 5th April and I really need to do nothing at all. Not even lift a suitcase.

Oh, and don't tell my doc, but I am going to sing the Requiem tonight. I'll stand in the front row at the end so I can exit fast if necessary! I am def going to get DH to film Lacrimosa or Dies Irae and put it on You Tube.

Oh, fabulous ILGH, we'll be able to see you sing! Very exciting.
Glad to hear that the bleeding has stopped.
I must dash.
As for the Dr's receptionist, I doubt I'll send in a letter of complaint, but I will definately tell my Doc what I think!

Afternoon everyone, sorry for the long absence. You may remember I had a huge work event on Tuesday 16th March, which went very well but was beyond stressful, and the follow-up etc lasted for a few days after as well, so that's taken my attention off the TWW somewhat. Also meant that I've had no time to come on here, which is probably a good thing, as I'm sort of pretending that I'm not really waiting for anything.

I used a self-hypnosis cd the night before ET and I was pleased and surprised (am very cynical) at just how much it helped. It's Successful IVF: Self-Hypnosis For Increasing The Success of IVF from a company called Innervision (www.innerV.net). During the transfer, I wasn't stressed or frightened at all, just felt very happy, privileged and grateful to have been given this opportunity, and felt like there was a lovely rosy, golden glow of positivity around me. I know, I know, I sound completely flaky, but it worked for ME.

So, testing tomorrow morning. I don't have any expectations, as I don't feel any different from normal, although my boobs are a bit achey, not unlike AF symptoms, my skin feels softer and looks less lined around my eyes, and my hair feels a bit thicker, but all of these symptoms could easily be a result of the progesterone. (There's a tip for skin care that I may not share with my friends - shove a progesterone suppository up your hooha!)

May not come on here again for a few days following the test, as I may need to weep and lick my wounds.

Love and luck to you all.

Kiwi How exciting/scary for you. I really really hope you get that much wanted BFP.

ILGH Naughty you. Please do lie down immediately after singing the last note!!! Let us know how we can find you on You-Tube. Quite funny really because I'm always telling my nearly 10 year old that he's not allowed on You-tube in-case he comes across something wholly inapproproate. hee hee.

Gum I fully agree, receptionists seem to think that all doctors are God and we should be eternally grateful that they even bother with us meer mortals. I hate when you call up for an emergency app and they say is it really an emergency? Arrghh. Fortunately they didn't say that when I made an appointment cos I was bleeding in my last pregnancy - I was ready to rip someone's head off if she had questioned the emergency rating!!!

Probably best to just let it go and try not to stress too much about it. You obviously can't win - if you cancel they don't like it and if you don't turn up - they don't like it!!!

Alba I went to see the consultant yesterday. All good. In brief what he said was (let me just say that he didn't say it in brief he was very thorough and very re-assuring), anyway where was I? Oh yes. He said that in my case he thinks that the miscariage was due to a chromosome problem rather than anything else. He said that the only thing that had changed since i had 2 consecutive healthy pregs was my age which suggests it was not caused by the environment (eg my womb.)

He said I need to be positive about trying again. He said I should lose 7% of my body weight (DH says i look fine and thinks that he only said that to give me something to concentrate on - but I will of course try to lose the weight anyway). I asked about progesterone cream and he said he was happy for me to use it as it would do no harm, he could however, not confirm that it would do any good. (Again DH thinks he agreed to it as it was something I could do that was positive and it may at the very least have a placibo effect.)

He doesn't want to do any blood tests as he thinks it's evident that I am ovulating as I got preg in december. He also said I should stop worrying about womb lining etc. He stressed that all that is far more relevent with IVF as they are trying to re-create the correct environemnt. He said in a natural conception this will all be controlled by your body.

His parting words were that we should see this as an accident and that he felt that that particular embryo was not ever going to go any further than it did. He will write to my GP and request that as soon as i get another BFP (he didn't say 'if' which was nice and encouraging) he wanted me to have early scans. This is because he thinks it will help me to keep a positive attitude.

I know I could have insisted on blood tests etc but I do actually feel that I want to just go ahead and TTC again now. I will proceed with a positive attitude. Started spotting yesterday so looks like AF should be here today so am getting geared up to try again.

I haven't posted about my trip to the consultant on the MC thread for fear of saying something that will mislead or upset someone else on there.

TBH I am finding it hard on that thread - firstly it just moves so bloody fast but also, I don't know that it's all that healthy for me to be on there.

I find it all so sad and when others talk about how awful it feels to find out others are preg or how awful it is to think about their lost little ones, it actually has a counter effect on my healing. It was very helpful at the begining and I was very grateful for all the support but I may decide to faze myself off it now (is that mean to take the support and then bugger off and not give any to the new people?)

TBH the people I had most in common with were you and jolly old jollster who I can still find on here. Also there is Liaghen who may not come on here. If she starts to miss me can you send her over here please.

So sorry for long waffly post.

hello all,

have been having a major lurk and also trying to wean myself off thinking too much about ttc aka getting a bit obsessed.

Now I've done a daft thing and upset myself - AF is 4 days late (happens to me every so often).

I was being very sensible and trying not to think about it but this afternoon on a whim I used a clearblue digital hpt.

Very stupid oif me cause the damn thing was 6 months past its sell by so I should have known better.

Anyway first reading was pg +3, then ten minutes later it went to not pg +3 then another ten minutes it was just not pg.

I don't have any symptoms apart from fertile looking cm (excuse the TMI).

I can't go and get another test - believe it or not where I am no pharmacies close on saturday afternoons and nothing open on Sunday.

I think its almost undoubtedly a bfn has anyone else had this happen?

Really wish I hadn't done it

hippy that sounds fab. Fingers crossed for this month for you.

gps, sorry the test was crap. Monday not so far away. Did you dismantle the test? Do you know when you ovd? Fingers crossed for you too.

Well I left as soon as we sang the last note. DH got Dies Irae. I've watched it and it's not bad but the resolution is such that you can't see me - just a little body! Sound quality is just about bearable so I'll post it anyway, once I've worked out how to do it.

Off to sleep now. Night All.

oh hippy feeling for you.... know what you mean about the MC thread - it's just SOOOO manic. But feel I need to keep my toe in there, in some ways like I used the buses before, slightly less intimate and therefore more anonymous (that sounds Irish as we're all very intimate and (nearly)totally anonymous but you probably KNWIM)....

I was really interested in your post (and a previous one you left also) about our MCs. Cos I suspect I'm in the same boat as you, as in it's the age of the merchandise not the state of the interior (for want of a better phrase ). I'm clinging to the fact that I've got pg 3 times relatively quickly and that the 2 MCs have not been early as such.

Have done nothing about it yet, but was wondering about exploring IVF and the pre-genetic screening they can do. Am clueless in this area and have no idea if the screening looks for what sort of abnormalities.... but maybe this is right for me. Bearing in mind this has happened twice for me...?

Anyway enough me me me. When are we setting our beach date ?

Hope all is well with everyone. goneps am not a HPT expert I'm afraid - suspect you will have to be oh so patient and re-pee when you get another test - sorry BUT FX all will be .

gonepearshaped sorry to hear about your test. Best advice is to test again on Monday and just do your best to not think about it for a day. If I had a £1 for every time I have tested and it's negative I would have (about 30 pounds) so I could go out to dinner! Anyway, nothing really to suggest, you will know by Monday. Please try to just be in neutral and do good fun things. Where are you, on a remote Scottish Island, I live in the countryside but our local T*esco has tests!

Kiwi Whatever the test says, thinking of you, shooting up a quick prayer over the washing up for a BFP for the KiwiKat to be with KiwiKitten/s!

Hippy Glad to hear so positive.

ILGH are you famous for singing in your exotic location?

Gumblossom I used to be a medical receptionist so while I think yours was rude I've also had my share of very rude patients and maybe the one right before you was rude so you got the brunt of it. Laugh it off and be glad you didn?t have to go to the docs, just my advice.

Waves to all, off to do the washing up!

GPS, I have been wondering where you got to.It's good to hear from you. Sorry you have dud tests, how frustrating! Like IGH said, try to relax (I know, I know, easier said than done).
So the answer on the test changed? It was all the same test right? I have never heard of that happening, and TBH I would personally go with the first reading. I do hope you can get a a definate answer on Mon and it is the one you want!

Kiwi, I didn't realise how soon it was for you to test. I hope you'll be back on tomorrow with good news!

IGH, you are right, it isn't worth worrying about.I just don't like people being rude, there's no need!

Hippy, sounds like a great discussion with the consultant. I agree with him, I am sure it was just a chromosomal thing, and at our age it is just a case of getting the right egg, and it will happen for you(and me too I hope).

Jollster,there's a blog I have followed(it is a friend I met on another site) and she had trouble with fertility, anyway, she had that thing(in IVF) done where they check out the embryos for defects. I will post the link in case you want to have a look:
talldudeshortchick.blogspot.com/2009_05_01_archive.html

GPS - sorry to hear about the tests.

So I took the test into the toilet this morning and it didn't work AT ALL! Probably because it expired this month, but I would have thought that it should still have been good until the end of the month? Luckily I had another test in the bedroom (which also expires this month) and - TMI alert - managed to prodce JUST enough wee to get a result - and it's a BFP!!!!! It says 2-3 weeks, which ties in with the ET happening 2 weeks ago. Am over the moon, but also a little nervous that because the expiry date of the stick (Clearblue digital monitor) was 2010/03, I'm wondering if that could give a false positive? But we'll find out for sure tomorrow. DH is being his usual pathetic self - "yes, I'm happy, but I don't want to get too excited at this stage, so let's not talk about it too much at this stage." Miserable sod. I know it's a long road ahead, and nothing is guaranteed, especially due to my age and maybe because it's IVF, but I'm happy for now.

KiwiKat great news! If it's expiry this month it's still in date. Very excited for you... wishing you plain sailing now for the next 8 months . If your DH is worried, tell him the best chance of making sure all is well is if you rest up, and let him wait on you, that'll teach him to be miserable at such fantastic news!

GPS fingers crossed for your test!

TFLS you've been very quiet scan tomorrow? It's going to be wonderful seeing your much wanted and long awaited little one for the first time tomorrow I'm hoping for tears of joy for you and will be checking in for news.

ILGH hope you slept well and no ill effects from the concert... probably very uplifting and no doubt helped you feel much more relaxed and positive?

IGH and gumblossom I find I'm always hugely relieved when Dr's receptionists are kind and helpful (I'm sure from the way you're so considerate to all of us IGH you were one of those rare gems)... when they're abrupt it's really hard because either you or one of your family is not well or has medical issues and you need mollycoddling, not giving a talking to. The not-so-kind ones do make me mad...

Jollster and Hippy I'm trying to keep up with both threads as there are good things about both I think. The other thread I agree can get pretty raw and tough at times, and I run away and hide occasionally, but it is so incredibly helpful, and they picked me up and helped me rant and kept me going when it happened to me... I do, however, forget what I write on each! And don't always have a great amount of time...
Glad your consultant was helpful Hippy, I do think reassurance and encouragement is probably one thing we need lots of. Unfortunately I was told no early scans round here, I think this trust is pretty strapped for cash, I remember I didn't get much support even when in labour with DS... but I do feel much more confident now that the bloods have all come back fine. Nothing to stop me now, and I'm feeling positive for next time.

In the 2ww now I think (those opks never showed a positive, but will assume they were wrong) - and feeling really optimistic...

oh, and mjinhiding I've found any personal decisions you'll get negative feedback from whatever you decide there'll be those that agree and those that don't.
Do what feels right for you and ignore them.

OMG Kiwi That's great. I'm pretty sure you can't get a false pos. Sounds like you are defo up the duff. I totally understand about your hubbie. They are so calm and collected arn't they. "I don't want to get excited yet" How can you not get excited!!!! I think it is so different for the person whose body it is all happening in. Good luck for the appointment tomorrow and huge Hippy hugs from me.

GPS Again i don't think you can get a false pos but then again i have never heard of the answer changing. With my digital ones the answer just stayed there for 24 hours and then disappeared. Not long till Monday now - fingers and toes crossed for you. Ps. Check the use by date next time you big numpty!

Italian (I call you that cos IGH is too close to ILGH - hope you don't mind but I get confused. Not sure if you are indeed Italian????) I'm sure you were a much nicer receptionist than the ones we've been slagging off - oops. Not long for you now - whoop whoop.

Jollster My hubbie had an interview for a job on the IOW on Thursday. he had to be there at 9am and only got one days notice so left the house at 5.30am!!!! We are very excited but trying to remain realistic as there is a lot of unemployment on the Island and they may go for a local lad. Still might get to take our new babies to the beach really soon. Let me know how your research into IVF and testing goes. Always good to explore all options.

Alba Can't believe they said no early scans in yoru area. My Dh specifically asked the consultant to put it in a letter to our GP so that if/when I am preg again there is no arguement about the scan. That's pants for you isn't it!!
You're so nice to keep dipping in to the other thread and encourage newbies. i just feel like I want to move away from all that sadness. Tell me i'm not horrid please!! Arrghhh Hippies are meant to be so laid back and i am such a flippin' worrier. I'll have to change my name to worrier66.

TFLS Big big hugs and lots of love for tommorrow. Post asap please.

Love to all. xxxxxx

Jollster I meant to say - I love the phrase - it's the age of the merchandise not the state of the interior. That puts it so well and so concise - I will use that in future if you don't mind. See you on the beach, you bring the towels and i'll bring the sunscreen!!!

Kiwi, i'm crying, i am. Well done you and fingers crossed and lots of un-mn type hugs ((())).