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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Feisty & Fabulous at 40+ more adventures of TTC

999 replies

gonepearshaped · 15/10/2009 16:31

Actually now I feel guilty using up the last post of the thread - hope this will do as a continuation

OP posts:
hippychick66 · 10/03/2010 20:19

Nearly forgot - rowing lots of love to Barry and Co - time to warm them up soon.

I remembered the name Barry cos I was engaged to one many years ago - also it ws very funny cos the others were all called FuFu and TooToo or the like!!!

Italiangreyhound · 10/03/2010 23:15

AlbaDeTamble Thanks for saying I am patient! I don't always feel it and sure DH would disagree!

Good luck hippy at your doc.

Had a mini meltdown today with DH on phone, nurse at GP's surgery (where I was getting weighed and checking my asthma, yes, still got it!) then when my friend popped round for a quick coffee before school pick up. So that is three! It is the magic number!

gumblossom · 11/03/2010 00:41

Rowing you have a great relaxed approach.I can't wait til Barry and co are firmly implanted in your belly!

Nothing much happening here.Went to acupuncture on Tuesday. She said I had excess heat, so I'm taking herbs to help that. I haven't been obsessing about the return of my fertility for a while now, which feels better.It seems I'm one of those women who just won't ovulate while breastfeeding, so I'm just going to take one day at a time, and stop worrying.The truth is I don't want to wean Charlie completely.I wouldn't mind him cutting it down, and I'm still endeavouring to do that, but it isn't easy!I guess my view is that if I am meant to have another it will happen eventually. I have the advantage of having a large family and so if we are lucky enough to have another that'd be nice, and if we don't I'll count my blessings!
That doesn't mean I won't try to make the "environment" optimum for a baby - and try to produce healthy eggs through diet,sups and lifestyle. So if a little spirit baby is waiting to come in, the room(or womb!) will be ready!
How is everyone else doing?
Italian I had to laugh at you calling the nurse from the toilets! I remember doing preg tests in the toilet at work, then having a bugger of a time trying to read the result because the lighting was so bad, and then trying to have a look in secret in the office! Blimey!Glad the bleeding won't cause any probs for you.Can't wait til your little eggs come home to mama!
I go to another forum, a vasectomy reversal one, have been going there for years, and just recently two women, with DHs having awful sperm results after trying for more than three years, have both had bfps! It is so exciting when it happens, but especially so when they've been ttc for so long. It gives me hope, I really believe that each child is a little miracle and it seems these miracles happen all the time, we just have to be patient sometimes...
It is going to be pretty warm again today - 31C- so I'll walk down to the beach with my LO. This is the life....

AlbaDeTamble · 11/03/2010 09:13

Gumblossom v of your day on the beach! perfect weather by the sound of it, here it's freezing still and no sign of spring daffodils, wouldn't believe it was March already

Hippy be prepared for Gynae telling you not to worry, be confident, and that mc's are very common (that's what I was told, and frankly being told they're common makes me feel worse, not better). I only got blood tests by persisting I saw him twice after the mc, once with infection, then again for final check up. The first time I was brushed off, the second I had rehearsed! I made sure he was aware of my age, and that I would happily pay for the blood tests if need be because I can only be confident once I've at least ruled out easily treatable causes. He tried making me feel stupid and anxious for asking and his letter to my GP is in a similar tone, but I feel a lot better knowing I'm checking things out.
He didn't order the progesterone tests, he says it's rubbish, though they do give progesterone supplements to anyone having IVF (is that true, Kiwi, Rowing and Italian? Is there anything different to IVF that means you need supplements, or are the clinics just more thorough?). I'm sure there's something in it. I will have to cross that one once pg, and see if I can get them anyway -- he did at least concede that they do no harm...
I had full blood count, hormones LH, FSH and TSH and liver function tests, and most importantly I think Antiphospholipid antibodies and lupus antibody. the latter tests are for Hughes syndrome (sticky blood) -- I know you can self diagnose everything if you read too much, but I checked out the hughes syndrome website, written by the professor who discovered it (chap from St Thomas's in London) and alarm bells rang because my grandfather suffered blood clots, my DS was born with low birth weight and there were mutterings of placental insufficiency and intra uterine growth restriction. That and the miscarriage up my chances of having it. Will be very happy if it's negative... but the GP was very kind and said he is treating someone who has it and is currently pg, successfully, so at least he wasn't dismissive. And it's so simple to check for.

Wondering whether to try the progesterone cream you can get via internet for second half of my cycle -- anyone have any experience using it? Can only find manufacturers websites, where of course they're bound to say it's a miracle...

The other thing I'm doing is taking decent pre-conception vits and iron supplements I feel anaemic, not really surprising I suppose and that can delay or suppress ovulation.

That's about the extent of my own research...

Rowing hope the agnus castus works and all goes well... Italian here's to some more relaxing peaceful days for you... (oh, I have tried hypnotherapy recently -- very helpful for stress - as I suppose any relaxation technique would be)

Gumblossom and Tetley hope for you both that relaxing and not trying will be the best approach!

Jollster welcome back onto the rollercoaster. It's pants isn't it?

Hopeful hope your mum is improving now. I can't scroll back and forgot to take notes -- are you on IUI now this cycle? A good friend of mine has a beautiful little IUI baby, and thinking positive thoughts for you.

Big waves to anyone I've missed... just seen the time, must start working!

tetleytea · 11/03/2010 09:39

Dropping in really quickly to say hi and good luck to kiwi - thinking of you, it does sound stressful, and italian, glad it turned out ok, and hope the cysts bugger off rowing. Big wave to everyone

Have escaped normal life for a week in london with dd, am having a ball, spent yesterday at Tate modern (dd obligingly slept in buggy!)and 2 (count them - 2!)evenings at jazz clubs in soho. That's my socialising done for the next 12 months

daisygrabber · 11/03/2010 13:47

Here to join you, not sure if that's good or bad!
I am 40.5, have a 10 year old son, been not avoiding pregnancy for a long long time. Just had a MC at 7 weeks and now DESPERATE to get pg NOW, TODAY......but v scared have left it too late.
Hello
Daisy xx

thefatladyscreams · 11/03/2010 16:00

Hi everyone and welcome to Daisy,

Tetley - I have this vision of you as this very cool figure now! Enjoy the rest of your week.

Alba - at your consultant. I hate it when you feel you're working against them as well as everything else - but good on you for insisting and getting the answers.

Gum - I'm a big fan of the "what will be, will be" philosophy. Not sure TCM would diagnose a long cool G&T to deal with excessive heat - but that's my suggestion!

Italian - your post had me in stiches. Hope things are going well for you.

Rowing - tell those cysts to get lost! I love the names you chose. I always think of Victoria Wood when I hear Barry. I remember watching a TV programme years ago about a woman undergoing IVF after chemo treatment. Her dad nicknamed her embies Ross & Finders because they were found in the freezer!

Kiwi - sorry you've been having such a stressful time. The last thing you need at the moment is DH ranting but maybe that's the stress getting to him? Sending you very chilled out and rise above it vibes. Hang in there. I've no experience of the type of treatment you're undergoing, but I suspect there must always be some darkest before dawn moments.

Jollster - how are you doing? I have this picture of you picnicing on a beach now with lots of pate and chocolate!

Hippy - I won't tell your DH if you don't! . My DH likes it when I'm on here because he gets to read up on football in peace!

Hopeful - keeping my fingers crossed for you. Glad your DH got top marks - I can just imagine the grin of manly pride! It must be really difficult for you with your mum but at least you're there for her. I guess you just have to focus on what is within your control - hope you're taking really good care of yourself and not getting too drained (impossible I know....)

I was 11 weeks yesterday. Scan is booked for a week on Monday and it all feels a bit so near but so far at the moment. Mind you my midwife screwed up lots of my paperwork and wrote my EDD as 29 March. Got a very puzzled look at the blood clinic!

My symptoms have faded a bit in the past week and I'm not sure if that's normal at this stage or a sign of a possible mmc. When I had a mmc last year, all my symptoms disappeared at the stage the baby had died.

Jollster and Hippy - I've thought long and hard about posting about my pregnancy (esp my m/c fears) after what you've both just been through. I really hope I don't say anything to upset you. If I do - please, please do let me know.

hippychick66 · 11/03/2010 16:45

Firstly TFLS - tish tosh. You worry away matey. I would be exactly the same in your shoes (or should I be optimistic and say that I WILL be the same when I'm next pregnant )

It's perfectly understandable that you are thinking about your MMC. And we're all here to support you. I think all you can do is keep going one day at a time and eventually you'll wake up and find whoop whoop I'm 13 weeks.

Welcome daisygrabber. There is a thread for ladies who have recently miscarried. Do feel free to join us there as well. You'll see a few of us from this one on there. We get about a bit. It's called - Just MC...Long haul, short haul, ranting, weeping, laughing all encouraged. Oldies and newbies very welcome.

hippychick66 · 11/03/2010 16:54

Forgot to say, thanks for all the advise alba. I am going to write down what I want to say and go prepared to push for the tests that I didn't get before.

Can I ask you all your opinion please. The private consultant that i saw said the following:-

I wont make any assumptions about you I am a man of fact.

I will be doing blood test at 7 and 21 days as well as scans.

I will present you with my finding at the end of all that.

He then did a complete about turn. Looked at the fact that I had endometriosis, looked at my age, said the lining of my womb looked a bit thin, thought I had a cyst and told me my chances of conceiving natural were minimal!!!

As you all know, I then got a BFP 1 week later.

Oh yeah and He told me that the cyst I had might be a tumour so I had a £100 blood test to rule out anything sinister.

My GP said what he thought was a cyst was probably the corpus luteum!! She said he just failed to spot an early pregnancy and made assumptions about me.

Anyway, we didn't pay him and he didn't chase for the money until I had my MMC and then miraculously a reminder for £350 came throught the post (he also works at the hospital so I think he knew I'd miscarried).

Would you pay him £350 for seeing me and telling me absolutely nothing of interest or relevance??? He is supposed to be the expert in my area!!!

Italiangreyhound · 11/03/2010 20:10

daisygrabbe welcome, hope you will get pregnant TODAY (just remember what you need to do!!!)

AlbaDeTamble yes on your behalf for that doc making you feel anything bad, they should not be condescending! I think there is so much mixed information out here it is hard to know what really is the case but we should be taken seriously with our questions and concerns. We may well be producing the next generation of doctors!

I am not sure exactly what the deal is with Progesterone. You may find this helpful to look at ...

BUT I do not know anything about this website or what it is all about!

We are using progesterone pesseries, which we start before embryo transfer and carry on for a number of weeks. There seems to be lots of mixed opinions. I am just not sure but I would say if you can ask a number of doctors you may find there is more than one opinion if they work or not.

thefatladyscreams sending you positive thoughts.

Hopeful I agree with thefatladyscreams "focus on what is within your control". I really hope your mum is taking a turn for the best.

tetleytea well done on fun London jaunt!

Hippychick It sounds as if you have certainly been messed around by him but I would be cautious about simply not paying. If you are not going to pay I would write to him and explain all you have explained to us and I would also Google around about not paying and what to say for advice and/or consult citizens? advice.

Good luck Hippy.

Best wishes and to all

KiwiKat · 11/03/2010 23:15

Sorry I've been AWOL, have been working late, going to bed early, and limited access to internet. And while I do indeed hang out on the Assisted thread with Italian and a couple of the others, rest assured that the Fab 40 thread is my first love! (The downer for them is that they have to read my news twice!)

One of our embies was a grade 1, one wasn't, in fact no idea what it was, but they're both on board, giving it their best shot. Other than tender boobs and being quite farty (which could be either the progesterone, or the lovely organic figs I've been eating) I feel pretty normal. And occasionally a litte crampy around the ovaries, but I guess that's natural, since there's been a fair amount of activity there over the past week. Trying not to think too much about it. Evil boss is being nice to me, and while of course I'm being nice back, I'm not letting my guard down.

Nice to be back - sweet dreams, everyone!

thefatladyscreams · 12/03/2010 16:19

Laughing at the possible effect of your organic figs Kiwi! Hope the evil boss leaves you in peace. Good to hear you're doing OK.

Hippy - I would be loathe to pay that bill and think you should complain to the consultant. I'd write to him and outline your concerns and explain why you don't feel the fee is justified in the circumstances. The onus is at least on him to respond. I'd include your GP's comments. Good luck. It would really piss me off.

Have a good weekend everyone.

ILoveGregoryHouse · 13/03/2010 08:16

Hi All. Sorry, still been bad at keeping up but had some rotten non-baby RL stuff to deal with which I'll bore you with when it's over.

Anyhoo, had a scan today, 7 weeks exactly.

Saw baby with heartbeat of 136 (a wee bit on the low side but still good right?) and all other measurements/signs good. She wants to scan in another two weeks to see if the rate has gone up.

Otherwise, I feel horribly sick ALL the time. Gaahh! But this is all good.

Will catch up with all the posts this afternoon so I can work out what's going on.Hi to daisy. You're a wee bit younger than me btw - 41 in April. Aaaargh, that's less than a month away now.

Italiangreyhound · 13/03/2010 13:45

ILoveGregoryHouse Glad you saw the scan. Fab . Hope those other things sort themselves out.

gumblossom · 13/03/2010 23:07

ILGH great to hear from you.7 weeks already! Wow, that seems to have passed rather quickly, though I don't suppose it is for you if you are feeling sick. Great that you had a scan and could see your LO. What is your due date?

Well, we spent all day yesterday getting our house fire ready - a big bush fire was just 10 km down the road.Luckily it wasn't fast moving and didn't end up our way.Phew! Here's a link:
www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/03/14/2845188.htm?section=justin

My girls were packing up their favourite things while my DH cut down trees and cleared around the house.We are surrounded by bush, which is lovely, but also a bit dangerous(did I tell you about the close encounter with a snake last weekend?)Anyway, so glad it isn't coming our way anymore!

The latest in babynews is that an intuitive on MotheringDot tells me she sees my pregnancy happening next year. So that's about the fifth reading I've had done. So far three have been wrong! Just as well I don't take them too seriously.However, I do still feel like I am supposed to have another,but it remains to be seen! I have no signs of fertility yet, but don't expect to until around August if my LO continues his breastfest...

Hope you are feeling good Kiwi. Rowing what's happening with you?Italian, you must be getting closer?
Anyone waiting to test?

laurasmiles · 14/03/2010 12:44

Hello all -
Have you room for another newbie?? This looks like an intensively active thread!
I haven't yet got my head around all the forum jargon, the buses?! etc etc. But I am defnintely over 40 so this feels a good place to start.
I am 41years - 42 in June - and myself and my partner have suddenly found ourselves making a late swing decision to have a third child.
Starting from a positive point - a natural no hassle start...then we will see where it leads.
I do have polycistic ovaries and I couldn't tell you how long my cycle is as it varies and I never keep track!
I've had three very early miscarriages in my life but have two gorgeous children DD 3yrs and DS 5yrs.
Started trying about 36hours ago!!

rowingboat · 14/03/2010 13:40

Hi Laura,
welcome to the thread! The swing decision sounds a bit like a general election. I imagining you having one of those big arrow swingometer thingies in your sitting room.
I haven't been on the buses, but there was a funny thread which I think was a spin-off about wanting a baby, but not sex. They were complaing about their partners/husbands who (they claim) like to kill their sperm by using laptops in a boiling bathtub whilst drinking vodka from a bottle or something along those lines.
It is a bit more sedate on here and we like a nice chat as well.

Gum I'm scheduled to go back for a scan on the 26th of March, but I'm not sure where I will be in my cycle because of the irregular bleed I had this month. Fertility friend has me on day 19, but the bleeding started on around day 5 and went on for a good 6 days.
Knickers really.
Sorry have to dash I'm at work...back later

ILoveGregoryHouse · 14/03/2010 16:59

Ha ha rowing, that was the November bus. Full of v crazy but lovely ladies!

laurasmiles · 14/03/2010 18:19

Rowing lol Actually we could do with one of those swing-o-meters in the front room. It would stop all the 'Are you SURE you want another one?'; Or after spending time with babies.... 'Do you still feel the same?', 'Are you still feeling broody?'; 'On a scale of one to ten how much do you really want one?' - back and forth back and forth we've gone. If we had one of those swing-o-meters we could just nudge it a litle this or a little that way depending on the mood!!
Or set it up to decide on how necessary sex is going to be that night to give him plenty of notice!!
I think the concept of the buses is funny but I'd rather be picturing myself on something a little more luxurious - especially if I've got to sit on it all month!! (Or take one bus after another )
Anyways, I look forward to chatting with you all here.

hippychick66 · 14/03/2010 19:16

Hello to all. Great news about the scan ILGH . Fingers crossed for you Kiwi.

This is my update - copied from the mc thread - sorry Jollster you get to read the same drivel twice!!

I am gearing up for the first AF since eprc. Will report back on whether it comes with a bang or a fizzle. I am kind of looking forward to it cos it means I will be begining to try again. But of course am still thinking WHY THE F*CK SHOULD I HAVE TO TRY AGAIN! But we all feel like that.that bit was for the MC people.

Have composed a killer letter to my consultant explaining why I do not feel I should pay for his time. Concluding that neither mine or my husbands expectations for the consultation were met. I am off to the hosp for an NHS appointment on Friday when I will ask all the same questions about my cycle that I asked him. Hope I get more answers this time.

By the way, I bought that book by Toni welcher. It is quite good and I am very familiar with all the different kinds of CM now. I am gonna go for it like a complete sex addict as soon as I see that egg white and not stop till it's gone. Ha Ha - Look out DH!!

hippychick66 · 14/03/2010 19:47

ILGH - did you continue with the progesterone supplement. Is it a pessary or a cream?? Do you think it has made a difference or do you think this preg was just more stable??

Sorry to bombard you with questions. I'm gonna ask the doc about pregesterone cream on Friday and wondered what you thought.

Ta
xxx

hippychick66 · 14/03/2010 20:35

laura just read your other thread. It's great - very positive. i want to join your gang who are sure they are going to conceive and not trying. Like you said on the other thread if you can only change one thing - change your attitude.

I am just waiting for my first period after my MMC and then I am going to get to it and I wont be taking no for an answer!!!

Good luck. ps. Jollster who directed you here is lovely. She's my beach buddy.

pps. Gum was so amazed to hear about the bush fires - its like another world over there. Hard for me to imagine.

Happy mothers day to those who are mums already and fingers crossed for those still waiting to enjoy the full force of motherhood.

AlbaDeTamble · 14/03/2010 20:46

ILGH congrats on the scan. If I remember right, I think if your measurements were good that's the most important thing as long as heartbeat seen (they don't count heartrate at 7 weeks around here, you're getting very detailed care). So pleased it's going well for you, that sickness is so horrid, but just remember it's good!! There's some of us longing to be sick too just as soon as we can be. And like Hippy I'd love to know about the progesterone supps too please.
Hope RL issues nothing too serious...

Italian, thanks for the website reference, I've been reading as much as I can, but there's lots of good research links at the end of that one which is great.

TFLS, I think symptoms fading a bit at 11 weeks is normal, did with my normal pregnancy with DS... the placenta is starting to take over so you should start feeling better. I remember walking in to the scan feeling like a fraud as I didn't feel pregnant at all, and all was fine. I do hope time doesn't drag too much for you this week, waiting for a scan can take forever. Hope you have some nice things planned to help the time pass. It's going to be all fine and a wonderful moment seeing your little one for the first time

Welcome Laura, I'm quite new here too, lovely welcoming thread. Like the swingometer ideas!
Welcome also to Daisy...

Tetley, two nights out at Jazz clubs?? Am in awe... very cool.

Right - must go - Sunday night, time to chase kids to bed and get ready for the week...

hippychick66 · 14/03/2010 23:02

alba Found this on the dreaded internet. I found it quite comforting - don't know if it's relevant to you but know you are interested in low progesterone which is related to short luteal phase.

:- If your luteal phase lasts anything under 10 days it is considered a luteal phase defect. But some doctors believe that if the luteal phase falls under 12 days, then it is a problem. If you conceive and you have a luteal phase defect, you will have an early miscarriage.
A luteal phase defect cannot sustain a pregnancy because the uterine lining in these women begins to break down, bringing on the menstrual bleeding and causing an early miscarriage.

The reason I found it interesting was cos I was beating myself up that my MMC was somehow related to having a short cycle and therefore having low amounts of progesterone. BUT - This suggests that the woman will begin to bleed and lose the baby because she cannot sustain the pregnancy. In my case, as in yours , we didn't lose the baby when it stopped developing - we carried on sustaining the pregnancy for almost 4 weeks which therefore means it couldn't be due to low progesterone - DOES IT READ THAT WAY TO YOU TOO?? I'm guessing this is relevant for jollster too.

I was going to post this on the MC thread but I now there are many women on there who did lose their babies early and who did start to bleed and I don't want to start scaring them.

Just wanted to share that with you cos it made me feel happier that it was just a one off/something wrong with embryo type of thing and not a fault with my womb lining. Maybe I'm clutching at straws or reading it wrong (and yes I will check all this with the consultant) but for the moment it helps me focus on better luck next time .

Italiangreyhound · 14/03/2010 23:24

laurasmiles Welcome, I hope this thread is really useful for you.

Hippy hi how?s it going? Hope you DH is ready for all this action! The passage you posted from the dreaded Interweb seems interesting, but I would get it checked out with a doctor to see if it does confirm your theories. I know your bad consultant experience may have put you off doctors for life but hopefully one of them will be able to give you some correct info! Whatever the doc, or anyone says, please stop beating yourself up about what happened with your little one. Whatever the reason this was not your fault. That baby was very wanted and you did your best so please restrain that fist and no more blows to that hippy face! Good luck next month with all the sx! Gumblossom* so sorry to hear about the fire, it must have been very scary. Really glad you are OK.

Alba glad the website was helpful.

Our news, in just over a week I?ve got my scan to check my womb lining is getting nice and juicey. We will then be about 10 days away from actual transfer or maybe less. I am excited but I kind of can?t quite expect it will all happen now!

Watched dvd of DD as a young child today, her dedication at church when she was 8 months old and her trips to the bluebell woods with her cousins when she was three. It was so lovely and some of it made me cry. What better incentive can I have for it all to work than that!

I think Mother?s Day is often a very hard day for people who are not mum?s. Today in church we got our little potted plant but we also prayed for people who have not become mums and want to, for people separated from their children by prison etc, people in poverty not able to feed their kids and mums who have lost their little ones. It was a sobering reminder of how hard this can all be and I just wanted to say to those not yet mums, hang on in there and I am thinking of you all on this and the assisted conception thread and beyond.

Hope all is well.

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