30s TTC - The BESH little gin palace in mumsnet

[idealcamel]

The bar is open and the ticking clock has been muffled for the duration...Come on in!

casper what ski sez. Not that I'm trying to out-do her with diff knowledge but just to reinforce in case you thought she was talking with her arse instead of simply shagging with it

Egg thing implants but you don't share bloodstreams for 6 weeks so there is no way that drinking moderately can affect baby development. In other words your womble doesn't know you are necking it.

Is the philosophy I live by.

Have I yet had a successful pregnancy? No.

ski I don't give lessons to anyone older than 11 sorry! Simply not talented enuff... teach lots of isabellas tho...

pony get new horse den

good luck with the SWI carrots

oh yes - fanks for the welcome back camel

iggy you I? AI?

after having fun phoning DH and saying, "you know in films when they say come home, I'm ovulating?" "Yeees" says he, "Well, you're getting that call " (that was me grinning on the phone) I got home myself to totally fecking dry smegging pants smeg.

Bollocks.

Actually, sod the bollocks. They're pointless, tonight at least

On the other hand, TCOYF does say it counts at any time of the day so I'll probably get laid anyway

carrots FYI - TCOYF - written by a barren woman. She's got as much theory as most of the BESHs but is also sans bebe!

iggy I have the skillz of an 11 year old if that helps!

LOL@cunty "Have I had a successful pregnancy? No"

I'm here!!! Line up a round of gin on me, well - not on me since I'm so dusty, but I'll pay for the next round!

Lovely to see the newbies and the baybee-PASSES!

I'm lining up for dildocam on Thursday - other than that, just been invited to 2 more baby showers this week - oh, joy!

ski really? REALLY? REALLY? oooooooooooh oooooooooooh that's really irritating.

Unless she used it for years as birth control

I'm not sure I really wanted to know that. I felt like I had some control and now I just don't know

Bugger.

Hawaiian, hey

WTF is dildocam???

hawaiian Well as those bitches will all be showing off with their bloody 3D scan pictures, how about you take photos from your dildocam - "see - look at my knackered ovary"? Make sure you use the word dildocam obviously - and make it very clear to any single/childless friends that dildocam is a dildo with a camera. You're aiming for maximum "squirm"!

Carrots You've managed it once... you can do it again. I have it on very good authority that she used bumsex as birth control.

ski Oh! Dildocam! I get it!!

And yes, you are right. I'm sorry. I'm getting ahead of myself AND feeling sorry for myself

I know that for ladies here who still are child-free it may seem selfish to feel bad for not having #2 yet that I want. I suppose, analysing it, that I don't have a baby anymore so it's ok to want another. But I am very lucky. I do know that.

OK feeling sorry for myself over. Going to crack open a bottle, have beans on toast for tea and lots of fun tonight [amile]

or smile!

carrots Please don't feel guilty - I think it's very normal to "want" another child - especially when you've found a man who makes you so, so happy - especially in light of your ex-husband. Anyway, we need someone to say "oh, bumgrapes are completely normal".

Teehee, yeah. My midwife mentioned that just after I'd had DS (cheers). I sort of mentioned that I'd had them for years then realised that my mum was still there.

Speaking of which, don't have your mum there. Mine was fab (being a midwife and all ) but she didn't let me swear. I mean, I'm in the final throws of pushing a friggin baby through something, frankly, designed only for the largest thing Ann Summers has ever thought up, and she told me that "bloody hell that hurts" was language she didn't expect to hear from HER daughter.

But thanks Ski. That was a kind thing to say. Coor I like this thread. The regular buses are nice, and sweet peeps, but life isn't, is it?

evening ladies, sorry I've not been around. Thanks for the advice on the previous thread re the frequent shagging and Ovulation prediction methods.
idealcamel you are almost certainly right - but I like planning things and in a way this is another project! But yes, just relaxing and letting nature take its course is the best. I might also look at TCOYF (even if she is childless.)

Thanks ski and cunty. I just wanted to know that it's ok to be having a few nice glasses of Champers - which I will do. Last year we drained a few Champers trays, all the table wine and then hit the bar (£8 a pop for a bottle of beer ) Different crowd this week (but I always get to go so should be a bit more tame. Although there will be one 19 year old studenty type with us... Sure he'll gladly sup what I don't.

carrots NEVER feel guilty about wanting a baybeeee. Never feel unreasonable. In the Palace the answer always seems to be YANBU, except when it comes to 2woofling .

hi medee good to have you back. Please, join me in obsessive planners' corner, i've been a bit slack this cycle and need a good whipping into shape [ooh please! emoticon]

naughty casper !

Well, Carrots you see... when you've been trying to have a baybee since 1853, sometimes you need to have some "assistance" from a doctor or three!

One of those doctors has a nifty dildocam-thingy-ma-bob (some call it a wand, but I have't seen any magic come of it!) that sends images to a little screen so that all the world can see my parts that aren't or are working to check on my progress. This time I'm meant to be producing nothing, so I hope I can meet that very low expectation so that I may continue on my journey.

Skihorsey I like your style, I think that's a grand idea! So much better than trying to diagnose which melted candy bars are in the baby's diaper nappy!

Let's shock those mum's to be into early labor! Yeah, maybe I can even get print outs to carry around in my handbag... see: no follicles, no heart beat, thin lining, fibroid here and over there too, and no little hands or feet there either - PERFECTLY NOTHING BAYBEE RELATED AT ALL!

I'm sporting a big ol' headache just now, after my sparse lunch of whole wheat pasta, low sodium sauce and fresh mushrooms with dessert of fresh kiwi fruit. Where's my gin & tonic!?!?

Naughty Curly indeed!

Hawaiian Huh. :-P Sounds hideous.

Casper - Thanks . Gotta ask though, "YANBU, except when it comes to 2woofling" eh wot? Gods I'm sooo neeeeeeew

Medee that's def where I'm going wrong.

Well, last night's promised shagging didn't happen. I got into bed (good start), DH got into bed (obviously required). He was all ready to go and I felt like a performing seal so went to sleep instead. Poor DH was all enthusiastic and felt rather put out, I feel. But with all signs being absolutely pants anyway, I felt I couldn't get into it and didn't want to use anything slippery just to facilitate, as it were, as it would negate the whole job. Maybe I need to buy some pre-seed. Surprised myself as TBH I'm usually pretty up for getting a good seeing to and surprised that this whole thing is, ironically, putting me off.

Feeling a bit pressured this morning (by myself entirely) and wondering if posting here just makes me think about it all too much. So, I think I will drag myself away for a while and try to chirp up.

xxx to all.

carrots Give it until Scorpeete is 2-3 minutes past OV and then you will see 2WOOFLing to end all WOOFLing!

I also totally get where you're coming from - this I think is the danger in knowing when you're OVing - it's all too loaded and whilst our bodies want a shag - somewhere deep in our brain little neurons are firing messages saying "I thought you liked more than 3 hours sleep at a time"... plus the bloody men get performance pressure.

I am waiting for the droid although we both think my boobs are bigger (hard to tell as I'm an F-cup normally) and they're a tiny tiny bit sore - but I probably just walked in to a door or something.

Casper A few glasses of champers sounds absolutely fine - we really can't go putting our lives on hold for as long as it might take. I mean ffs - you might turn in to one of those lunatics who gives the dog away lest it gives you worms, stops eating sweets (ADHD), cheese, pate, meat, gives up driving, touching animals, etc., etc.

hawaiian what are the docs currently trying to do to your foofoo?

fingers crossed ski for a negative return.

SKI SIGH - yes, that's the thing. Anyway good luck for no flo.

See, now I need to lurk to see news!!!

carrots sounds like you've not had the joys of the Am I Being Unreasonable... threads on MN. Reponse is generally that you are (YABU) or are not (YANBU). Am I'm sure you already get 2WOOFLING, our delightful term for obsessoive PG symptom spotting

ski hope the little clunky fellow stays away. going to miss you being a day ahead of me and keeping me right, Mind you it was never going to last long, with you either being diffed or simply leaving me behind with my dastardly long cycles. V at your F-cups. I'm more of a mosquito bite girl myself. Another reason I want to get pregnant!

Do no be envious Casper - to dress such boobs you either look "Bet Lynch" or "gone to pot suburban housewife". It's a rare thing indeed to pull off "groomed".

skihorse don't forget to mention that you can't wear anything with buttons down the front unless it is at least 4 sizes too big