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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

30s TTC - The BESH little gin palace in mumsnet

1000 replies

idealcamel · 12/10/2009 14:32

The bar is open and the ticking clock has been muffled for the duration...Come on in!

OP posts:
Ponymum · 13/10/2009 14:52

bessie It was our talk of BUMSEX that made the site crash. But we can try again with ARSE GRAVY!! (phrase best heard in Stephen Fry's voice, as in "That is complete and utter arse gravy.")

Love the dinosaur. Rrrrr. But can't you be all nostalgic for my childhood and hand-make your own wonky costume out of charity shop rubbish and totally embarass you daughter? What sort of parent are you?

Yes, where is hawaiianshineycunt?

givecarrotsachance · 13/10/2009 14:54

Bugger the work, this is more fun.

skihorse no, I laughed, then cuddled him. Stupid, I should have just laughed, as obv I then smelt of wet dog and was covered in plaster.

at police statement and great to find a fellow apostrophe preferencer. I wasn't keen on using the phrase up-d'd but then realised actually it was perfectly ok as it was missing letters. When I did stupid marriage #1 I rec'd the orders of service the week before and the only bridezilla moment I had was when I realised that there was an erroneous apostrophe. I phoned the printer who argued with me as to whether it was right or not (I, of course, was right) and in the end he said, "you know, you sound just like my daughter when she's not getting her own way" to which I responded, "that's funny, you sound nothing like my Dad who is a professional businessman". He re-printed them.

Imagine my horror, then, when waiting at the entrance to the church for fab wedding #2 when I heard the vicar apologise for getting an fecking apostrophe wrong in the orders of service that he had printed for us! I'd not noticed it (neither had I actually proof read it) but then he'd done such a beautiful job of the printing I decided not to care. And he did a fab service, too .

'Course typing away at speed leads to embarassing typos but WGAS in the end.

skihorse · 13/10/2009 15:02

I'd certainly wear that to work.

Bessie123 · 13/10/2009 15:07

I am worried the outfit will be hot and annoy dd and she will spend most of the day trying to rip it off.

Or everyone will tell her how cute she is and she will LOVE that.

givecarrotsachance · 13/10/2009 15:18

Sorry about this girls, but I have to share but I am seriously excited.

Just been to the loo and for the first time in 4 years have seen distinctly interesting fertile signs so guess what I will be doing tonight HURRAH!!

Ponymum · 13/10/2009 15:32

You mean panty snot?

RunLyraRun · 13/10/2009 15:35

Bessie, The Sporty One and I are obsessed with dinosaurs, seeing a child in a dinosaur costume is one of the very few things that cause a genuine womb-twang in Lyraland.

Curly, hurray, come and have PCOS with me! I tried to recruit VAG into my many-cysted club the other week, but she didn't seem very interested

givecarrotsachance · 13/10/2009 15:59

pony Yepper

lyra - hi I also loved it. Wished my LO was young enough for it - he would adore it. WTH, just have to have another just for that reason. Wahay! Chance tonight! giggle

iggypiggy · 13/10/2009 16:09

gin fanks - is a fucker all of this stuff innit... Basically when I got updiffed in feb it was without too much thought, so methinks the obsession does lead to madness and fail in my case. Which is why this thread good - but also why I ran away before - cos was going totally nuts...

sorry about ceiling - have a manly slap on the back...

that dildocam stuff is no fun - they stick a condom on it... which is freaky in itself..

bessie the dino suit is funky

Droid arrived (hurray and bollocks all at same time) - going to have extra gin tonight..

Bessie123 · 13/10/2009 16:16

Thanks all for your opinions on the dino outfit. I am now torn between that and asking my friend if I can borrow her dd's super cute bumble bee costume (for my dd, not for me, honest).

Another question, a serious one. Do you think not drinking would help me conceive? dp and I conceived dd by being drunk and careless but I keep reading everywhere that it will make give me a slippery womb and dp will have 2-headed sperms. How much difference do you think it makes?

givecarrotsachance · 13/10/2009 16:19

bessie be an eco-bess and go for borrowing the bee.

My personal opinion on drinking - seriously - I don't think it matters. I mean, getting drunk several nights a week - not good. The odd glass of gin - fine. Depends on what you mean. I'm no doctor BTW but I really feel that as long as it's not loads then there are far worse things you can do.

Ponymum · 13/10/2009 16:23

bess I think being happy and carefree (i.e. mostly half drunk) beats being miserable and tense but possibly slightly more medically correct (i.e. stone cold sober).

iggy Boo for droid. So tell me about your ponieeeez!

givecarrotsachance · 13/10/2009 16:30

Bessie I think but I'm not sure that the slippery womb bit is because if one is a v heavy drinker and the babe is affected by FAS it's more likely to miscarry.

iggypiggy · 13/10/2009 16:30

pony I has only got one horsie but that is enough! He is common friesan cow type - as ski can attest to cos she seen a pic. At risk of boring others on thread - I is instructor in spare times and have a worrying obsession with lorinery pleeese to tell me about yours?

bessie was having same thoughts myself on the booze - especially when updiffedness happened in Feb after a month off booze in Jan...

Bessie123 · 13/10/2009 16:33

I am pretty ok with not drinking. Do you think I should try to make dp stop drinking as well?

I found this

on another thread, what do you think - good alternative to the dino or the bumble bee? I can just imagine everyone's faces if I turned up with dd wearing that.

Ponymum · 13/10/2009 16:41

If we all took our selfish minds off the Bay-beeWant for a little while we could be doing so much more to make the world a better place. Like this.

iggy My horsie got sold in mental circumstances when I lost my confidence then found I was pg. I lost over £5000 which I could really do with now. Big long story which I won't bore you with on here. Now I hang around the stables, have the occasional ride on one of the RDA plods and help a friend train her 5 year old from the ground. Last time around spending a lot of money on a horse was how I finally tricked my insides into the updiffment, as I have advised ski.

skihorse · 13/10/2009 16:42

Bessie I don't drink and I still have babyfail month on month.

Bessie123 · 13/10/2009 16:46

hmm, well I'm off to get ratted then.

xx

Bessie123 · 13/10/2009 16:46

the kisses were supposed to be funny, before you all kick me in the head.

Ponymum · 13/10/2009 16:50

Kisses acceptable only with thrusting tongue and clumsy bodily gropage.

givecarrotsachance · 13/10/2009 16:58

ponymum Good plan. I will suggest it to DH (buying a horse). Parents have a couple but they drive them, not ride.

iggy cute

givecarrotsachance · 13/10/2009 17:00

OK I'm off home to get pregnant.

CurlyCasper · 13/10/2009 17:29

Hmmm on the drinking front, I have a situation approaching. Got abshhhoolutely vino-twatted (in an I'm at a work event and still in complete control kind of way) at an event last year. Attending same event for 2009 this week and not sure how to approach it. It's one where you get Champagne at the start (much as you want) then your glass topped up for you at the dinner table, so I guess I could just hardly touch the wine and surely noone will notice? Or should I pull out an antibiotics/sicky belly/other excuse not to drink?? It's going to be so hard to restrain myself - all that good food and good booze and me (hopefully) just past ovulation...

lyra if not diffed this time round I will be trying to joing your PCOS club, even just as a hypochondriac honorary member!

skihorse · 13/10/2009 17:35

carrots IT'S THE FOO FOO NOT THE BUMSEX!

I am totally in awe of our omgponiez ladies here - iggy please come and give me lessons, ponymum let's go and judge little "isabellas"!

Casper You don't share your blood with the baby for aaaaaages after you'll have POAS and known. Furthermore - you know you're not an alcoholic and I don't care what Blanche says. Have a couple of glasses and relax. A glass or 5 of champagen is light years away from necking a bottle of vodka before 11am.

skihorse · 13/10/2009 17:37

Tb brutally honest - if your colleagues think that your not being shitfaced face-down-in-your-own-vomit dancing on tables and getting fucked in the cloakroom by a stranger is "out of character" then yes, you probably normally drink too much and should tone it down anyway.

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