30s TTC - The BESH little gin palace in mumsnet

[idealcamel]

The bar is open and the ticking clock has been muffled for the duration...Come on in!

Ok so I am now talking to iggy on both Facecrack and MN at the same time. And I might see her in the flesh tonight I should be working, but this is much more fun - and I am just biding time until my departure - and hour and a half from now, to head to the big smoke. Us country folk don't get let out often!

hi gals. Well I did have a big old flounce last night. I've actually received an email from mnhq at the weekend which I took with a pinch of salt and just thought "fair enough, I will never impart my polictical views again" and thought that would be that. Unfortunately it's got to the stage where I'm being reported for using logic e.g., I impart facts about NATO or I say "you tell me I can't like pears, but I must respect your like for apples". It's come down to pure bullying, yet at the same time I'm 35 and it seems ridiculous to run to mnhq and say "she pulled my hair".

Anyway, whilst killing time this morning I did a little googling and apparently these hallowed halls have quite the reputation for bullying/"picking on people". I think Scorpette is right, it's like being back at school and it doesn't really matter who or what you are - it's that one "faux pas" you made when you were 11 which is remembered. I'd still like to kick their Kath Kidston cunts in though obviously.

I love my BESHs and I like reading the poniez threads but everyone else is mad and/or up their own hate-filled arse of lies.

Right - droid update. I am now 16DPO and no sign of the droid - I am eating everything which isn't nailed down. It's 12:30 and I've eaten all my packed lunch - yet my tummy is flatter than ever. I'm waking up at 4am unable to sleep. My boobs appear to be expanding and I'm getting twitchy stuff going on in my abdomen plus more FFJ than usual. I have only one stick left so will do it tomorrow morning - I've got no cash until tuesday so I don't want to test to early if you see what I mean.

I am very excited for casper & iggy. Do you think it'll be polite "hellos" or is there going to be a "what goes on tour, stays on tour" mentality and tomorrow morning they both sheepishly log on and then drip feed us lurid details?

yeay ski's come back to us. Good on you for ignoring the bullies.

Polite? No way, I'm going to charge iggy, flatten her and give her huge snogs and thigh slaps... on stage

Hello, can I join in? Its boring out there...

I am 38, ttc no2 for the last 16 months (how to induce insanity and ruin sex life all in one fail swoop), DD is 2.4.

I do like gin (perhaps a little bit too much? No... can't like it TOO much), quite like poniees too. Female crush would be Gwen Stefani.... Err.. anything else you'd like to know?

Yay ski is back!

veeerrrrryyy interesting symptoms ski well done for resisting POAS - but then I have no will power - and no beard (i repeat - no beard)

polly welcome - there are questions - but I forget them!

ski is back!! Don't ever do that again. Worst 12 hours of my life, etc, etc. And you are surely updiffed... hooves crossed for tomorrow!

Hello polly. Pls explain your interest in ponieez. We have plans you see, evil plans . Don't tell the others, but we are trying to take over the palace by filling it with women desperate to have a baybee for the sole reason that they can then justify getting a cute shetland pony.

I am going to call you poo I think - rather than polly

where are the others? Is quiet in the palace today....

Iggy I answer to most things :-) Especially if you are handing me large G&T.

ponymum I lurve ponieeez, haven't been on one regularly for a while, mores the pity... but I'm hoping that DD will do the 'want a poneee for birfday purlease daddy?!!' so I can't get to play again

Always happy to take part in evil plan. Which now I come to think of it, should include my 'friend' who wants to make a coat out of poniees noses The biaaatch!

Just made a raspberry and dark choc tart.... is part of my 'not thinking about 2woofl'. Slice any one? (stuff half a tart in gob)

poopoo I can't believe you are friends with Cruella de Ville. So are you working on the brainwashing positive influencing of your DD yet? And are you teasing with the tart? Me. Need. Now.

Friend expecting baby number 3 now joined by friend expecting baby number 4. FOUR! That's all her baby allocation, plus 1.4 of mine*! Am trying hard to show my happy face to both of them - because I am happy for them, honest - but found myself crying on the phone to my mum this morning. Was so melodramatically miserable about whether the universe was punishing me for not looking after my rabbits properly when I was eight, and that I'd never know what it felt like to hold my own baby, and that everyone I know thinks we're not having kids because I must be too selfish/busy/frigid that mum confessed I was making her feel guilty for having had ME.

Ate half a box of M&S biscuits for lunch, and pulled myself together. This is obv the only place in the world I can unload such twining, sorry.

• I know this is not true, and there is not a finite number of babies to go round; is not a 'while stocks last' type arrangement. Do not point this out in manner of babydust/hon/hugs thread. Thx.

figgy stop being greedy - if you work it out technically some of those baybeez is mine

I blame the fucking hormones - have a slap on the back from me.

Actually figgy I have story for today too - I have spend most of today on facebollocks seeing regular updates on the imminet birth of a friends baby - which thank fuck - has finally happened. Wicth in office just gone on maternity leave - her due date 2 days off when mine was...

typin too fsat - should say 'witch in office'

Ponymum not joking bout tart - really did get half in mouth all in one go :-) (sits smugly on sofa with choc-smeared gob)

And no, not friends with Cruella any more - she is EVIL. And she is thin. Yuck, hate her... more choc tart anyone?

Know how you feel Figgy - spent good half hour crying to my mum when my sister got pg. Not that she doesn't deserve it of course... but I BOOKED MINE FIRST. Hmphhh. Seem to be surrounded by pregnant laydees at mo, its v hard not to show how upsetting it is (even though I'm obv pleased for them)... and if they come out with stupid comments about my age/fertility/hadn't I better get a move on etc, they are lucky not to walk away without a fork in eye.

iggy that's really . I have blocked my most baby-updating FB friends, for fear of drunken retaliatory updates. Can't imagine how the due date must ache. Here, have this chinese burn with love. We can share the baby surplus.

It is true: I am a bit PMTish. I fired off THREE complaining emails yesterday.

Oh and Ponymum, don't need to do brainwashing on DD.... one of her first words was horse and she is beside herself whenever we see one. And we live in the sticks so it happens pretty regularly.

Only prob is she can't quite do her SSS's yet and it comes out as hore.. lol.

fig one FB friend posted yesterday how grumpy she was at 37 weeks having had such a lovely easy pregnancy so far - the due date thing is a bit of fucker if am honest... but am in denial..

fanks for the burn delivers dead leg (also with love)

twice a month I get the misery - once mid cycle (odd) and once in all it's PMT glory the day before R2D2.

Mid-cycle misery isn't odd: it feels as if everything's ramping up to this one moment when your wizened egg drops and if you don't have the right amount of swimmers in the right place in the right 10-second window before your egg crumbles into nothingness, that's another month gone, and you're another step nearer to a house full of cats. Funnily enough, this isn't a turn on for most people, fear.

Eloquent and oh-so true, figgles. Although it could just be the mid-cycle drop in oestrogen? Anyway, depression/tantrum mid-cycle happens to me a lot.

Also, I don't care what you say. There is a finite number of baybees in the world - any woman's pregnancy diminishes me because I am a lunatic involved in mankind.

Hello Polly (that just made me snigger in a Hello Dolly camp way)

Ski I see I missed your flounce - glad it was super shortlived. MN is an odd community and I've pretty much stayed clear of anything happening outside the palace.

Has anyone seen gin since we moved? I could check back through the posts, but seeing as we've managed about a billion in two days, I can't be arsed.

camel I am certain gin was here - certain... where she be now? i not know...

Where are cunty and VAG too?

Fig and camel I always blame the hormones for the midcycle thing too - but expect is a bit of babyfail pressure in there too...

and where is scorpalina ?!!!

I'M HERE, PIGSY! Although I know you're only toying with my affections, using me to entertain you till you and Curly can have wild lezzy bumsex in a cloakroom at conference

Did you shave the beard for tonight or are you just going for a goatee?

Welcome Pooface! Please answer some v important questions:

1. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

2. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

3. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

4. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

Points will be deducted for improper use of apostrophes.

Ski, I'm glad you're back (ya big flouncer), but please keep your offensive opinions on fruit to yourself. You sicken me.
BTW, please POAS, for all our sanity. Things are looking promising!

Talking of promising, I think I'm gearing up for an early ovulation, like I used to have. Woohoo, premium organic Waitrose chucky egg!

Hopefully.

Talking of friends and rellies popping out sprogs willy-nilly, today is TYF's cousin's due date. Seeing as he is one of 35 cousins on that side of the family alone, I am bracing myself for a gazillion 'x-posting' (for want of a better term) emails and pics about the new arrival, not to mention FB craziness. At least she is a young BESH (just turned 34), which gives one hope.

scorp Bumsex!

PollyPoo As long as your DD isn't pointing at you while screaming 'hore' it should be OK.

I agree with camel and polpoo MN is odd/boring in some places out there beyond the palace. Best to stay in here where the poniezz roam free and the gin runs like a stream. [ahhhh emoticon]

fig what ages are those kids? I think I've had one on back order for about 4.5 years now, surely at least ONE of them is mine too.

I'm starting to get a bit of lunacy about my doc visit today, not about the dildocam, but yesterday I suddenly remembered about the blood tests they ran to see if there were actual medical reasons for not being able to hold on to the beginnings of a baybee - what if one of those 9 tests shows something bad... Ok, I handled it ladiezz, no need for the frozen cod, this time.

So anyways, welcome to pollypoo! and skihorse I'm glad your exile didn't last long! It's good to stand up for yourself against tyranny, whilst allowing them their own views.

and I did bravely look at my email account for any MNHQ scoldings... none so far (must learn to try harder, how will I ever acheive anything with this kind of attitude?!?! Let alone a baybee!)