Just MC'd. Starting it all again.. Come and join me for the long haul, vol 2

[thefatladyscreams]

Hardly the most original title but I didn't want to loose anyone (well that's my excuse for the lack of originality!)

OMG! Congrats boodle!!! Just popped in to check up and found nearly 10 pgs and your good news!

Welcome newbies, sorry to hear of your mc but we all here for you. Also sorry to those whose AF's have arrived - it's shite every time.

louise, I feel ya girl. I should currently be on maternity leave from a job I hate and be holding my 9wk old firstborn. Many days are miserable. Not meant to be though I guess. Big hugs to you and hang in there. As meita said, we can only hope for the best in the future...

Thank you all for your honesty.

I have been torturing myself with thoughts of baby's 1st Christmas that should have been. Thought I was going crazy. I know this is not healthy but cannot help it.

In a way, am glad to be back at work as a distraction!

Tuesday's list:

Sunburnt TTC#2 UCL28 cycle WTF CD28
Jollster TTC#2 UCL26-28 cycle 4 CD26
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 5 CD24
Tetleytea TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 1 CD24
LeeWT TTC#2 UCL 30-32 cycle -2 CD22
samanthab123 TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 1 CD21
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 9 CD20
sarahlou8 TTC#3 UCL27 cycle 1 CD18
TFLS TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 6 CD16
Zayja TTC#1 UCL24-27 cycle 9 CD16
Tigger15 TTC#2 UCL31 cycle 7 CD12
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL? cycle 1 CD10
Louisesh TTC#1 UCL33 cycle 25 CD7
vivcliquot TTC#1 UCL27 Cycle 2 CD4
RunForTheHills TTC#1 UCL30 cycle 13 CD3
PoppyisaPain TTC#2 UCL 28 Cycle 1 CD ?
effilump TTC#5 UCL28 cycle WTF CD?
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle WTF CD?
keevamum TTC#3 UCL? cycle? CD?
lulabell79 TTC#? UCL? cycle? CD?

WTTC
Justbeenforapromenade
Fingerscrossedlegsopen

MIA (stopped at CD60)
em22 TTC#? UCL28 cycle 3 CD61
trixel TTC#3 UCL28-35 cycle 7 CD61

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
Hoops997
Stressy BFP 22nd August 2009
becky78 BFP 4th September 2009
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September 2009
Waitingisntfun BFP 19th September 2009
Chamois BFP 7th October 2009
Apples BFP 9th November 2009 - TWINS
Meita BFP 10th December 2009
CakeandFineWine BFP 27th December 2009
boodleboot BFP 2nd January 2010

I read something in a magazine that I thought i'd share with you all, according to numerology, 2010 is an ideal year to get pregnant, the digits of 2010 add up to 3, the number for moving foreward and expanding, apparently, women will be particularly fertile, and its the year for brainy babies too!

sorry for those of you that are feeling shite, i know all about that christmas day yearning, i had a real moment on that day when our three were opening their presents of how lovely it would have been to be filming this with a babe in my arms.......i'd love to say that it feels cheery on the other side with a BFP but it would be lying slightly.....i am very nervous and just keep expecting it all to end or be an illusion or a chem Pg or another EP....urgh the list goes on....

i have made a dr's appt for 5pm today tho which is a huge step for me as i am terrified of starting the whole process again. I will now have to have blood tests every other day to check that the HCG is doubling in the correct way and a scan within the next two weeks to check where the bean has attached itself. According to the ectopic pregnancu trust i have a 90% percent chance of having a intrauterine preg this time with a healthy other tube, my tube has adhesions on the outside but not sure how it looks inside BUT i did manage to have a intrauterine preg earlier in the year (my MMC) so am really trying to be hopeful....if peanut is in the right place then i have same odds as anyone for a healthy preg 75%....its all about acceptance for me now, peanut is attached wherever it is attached and cannot move now so will just have to make peace and trust that the outcome will be favourable.....

man, and i thought TTC was stressful enough....

Hi all,

Big hugs to those of us having a shit time at the moment. I keep reminding myself that it is a real rollercoaster and you do come up again after each dip. And welcome poppy - that is truly awful timing. Hope 2010 brings you better luck.

Thanks for all your lovely comments. Found another two bumps on fido which is adding to my paranoia but will have to wait for the results. Lumps on dogs are really common and there are plenty of OK reasons for them as well as the obvious more worrying ones.

I'm loving having our graduates still here - would be bereft if they disappeared off. Still part of our slightly mad, obsessive family! In fact, I suspect getting a BFP only adds to the worry/obsession load!

Well an official congratulations to you boodle. I'm so pleased for you . Hoping for a very well placed and very sticky bean!

meita - I think sickness is meant to be a good sign so hopefully that will lessen the unpleasantness for you. Hope you've managed to find some relaxation time now, your holidays sounded hectic. Sitting at home doing nothing sounds good!

Loving these confessions on weight - not feeling such a porker now! I went down to 13 5 a couple of weeks before Christmas (had lost just over 2 stone last year) but now sadly a post Christmas 13 13 Still scoffing all the left over goodies in the house which is hardly helping the new year diet...

Also still chortling at the idea of tetleytea jumping her husband on the luggage carousel!

cheepz wishing you a very non-travelling year! Bit of a bummer re the global bit. Here's hoping they cut the travel budget and you have to go no further than the Watford Gap!

MrsR - sorry that's so tough. Hopefully going back on the 14th will be the worst bit - bit like going to the dentist in that it's horrible worrying about it but much better once it's out of the way.

Samantha - I can't remember why but you're meant to use a basal body thermometer which you can get for a couple of quid off Amazon. (as I found out after buying a very expensive but useless ear one in the middle of the swine flu scare!). I take my temp vaginally - so I can still talk at the same time - sorry for the tmi!

louisesh - I'm so sorry my dear. Sending you a bucket load of empathy back.... I'm trying to focus my energy on non ttc projects at the moment where I can hopefully influence their outcome more. Sorry if I've missed some info (did scan back but couldn't see it) but have you had a chromosone problem confirmed? DH has a lovely philosophy in that he says we'll be happy whether or not we have children - it will just be a different sort of happy. Most days I agree....

Don't know if anyone has snow? Loads forecast for our area tomorrow. Hope they're wrong - already had enough of it (miserable killjoy that I am!)

Hi all.We ve LOADS of snow [i live in Wakefield, West Yorks] got sent home from work at 1 pm today lovely as Tuesday's our "througher" 9am-8.30pm....Soo thats the only good side to this crap weather!!!!

Thanks TFLS yes my problem has been diagnosed by the re-current miscarriage clinic via blood tests in Nov after my 2 nd MC..I agree with your DH but as you know some days i manage to not think about it all at other times its the only thing on you re mind.Ialso focus on RL stuff mainly holidays etc....Take care X

Thanks CHEEPZ back at you!!!!

Thanks MEITA no appt date yet will ring the end of next wek if not heard anything.Think we ll be offered IVF soo they can screen my eggs prior to implantation but not 100% sure till we see the counseller.

ZAYJA thanks hope is all we ve got left sometime......

EFFILUMP lets hope eh????

RUN FOR THE HILLS i know its shite when you start to think of what could/should have been.To protect myself i quite often don t even allow myself to think of what could have been.It hurts too much.

Wow, loads of messages to catch up with, lots of sad news , but still hope too when I read about how the BFP's are getting on . I really like it that you haven't abandonned us for ante-natal threads!

Having a very odd time myself, 5dpo and experiencing symptoms that would delight me in a week's time, but that I just don't understand this week. Yesterday morning I woke up with overwhelming nausea...it passed quickly enough. Today, there have waves of nausea all day and my breasts feel like...well they feel like they do just as the milk is coming when you breastfeed, that tingling feeling which has been coming and going all day.

I'm not under any illusions that these are pregnancy symptoms, it's way too early, but they are distracting and life could be quite tiresome if ttc goes along like this .

Any BFP's today?

SB

AF arrived today which is the start of me getting back on the tracks in ttc

Seeing the consultant in a couple of weeks, then starting clomid (supposedly) when period starts in Feb. Im not sure though.

I am just SO pleased that i am starting again.

Tuesday's list:

Jollster TTC#2 UCL26-28 cycle 4 CD26
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 5 CD24
Tetleytea TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 1 CD24
LeeWT TTC#2 UCL 30-32 cycle -2 CD22
samanthab123 TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 1 CD21
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 9 CD20
sarahlou8 TTC#3 UCL27 cycle 1 CD18
TFLS TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 6 CD16
Zayja TTC#1 UCL24-27 cycle 9 CD16
Tigger15 TTC#2 UCL31 cycle 7 CD12
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL? cycle 1 CD10
Louisesh TTC#1 UCL33 cycle 25 CD7
vivcliquot TTC#1 UCL27 Cycle 2 CD4
RunForTheHills TTC#1 UCL30 cycle 13 CD3
sunburntats TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 1 CD1
PoppyisaPain TTC#2 UCL 28 Cycle 1 CD ?
effilump TTC#5 UCL28 cycle WTF CD?
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle WTF CD?
keevamum TTC#3 UCL? cycle? CD?
lulabell79 TTC#? UCL? cycle? CD?

WTTC
Justbeenforapromenade
Fingerscrossedlegsopen

MIA (stopped at CD60)
em22 TTC#? UCL28 cycle 3 CD61
trixel TTC#3 UCL28-35 cycle 7 CD61

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
Hoops997
Stressy BFP 22nd August 2009
becky78 BFP 4th September 2009
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September 2009
Waitingisntfun BFP 19th September 2009
Chamois BFP 7th October 2009
Apples BFP 9th November 2009 - TWINS
Meita BFP 10th December 2009
CakeandFineWine BFP 27th December 2009
boodleboot BFP 2nd January 2010

week 2 of 2ww pretty much sucks
not a symptom in sight
mrsr thanks for your attention to the list, its great when someone runs it for a while and I know sometimes its all you really feel up for as you count down the days - have been in that mode. hope things looking bit less bleak, hope you are not having to have too much sex xx

Wednesday's list:

Jollster TTC#2 UCL26-28 cycle 4 CD27
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 5 CD25
Tetleytea TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 1 CD25
LeeWT TTC#2 UCL 30-32 cycle -2 CD23
samanthab123 TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 1 CD22
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 9 CD21
sarahlou8 TTC#3 UCL27 cycle 1 CD19
TFLS TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 6 CD17
Zayja TTC#1 UCL24-27 cycle 9 CD17
Tigger15 TTC#2 UCL31 cycle 7 CD13
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL? cycle 1 CD11
Louisesh TTC#1 UCL33 cycle 25 CD8
vivcliquot TTC#1 UCL27 Cycle 2 CD5
RunForTheHills TTC#1 UCL30 cycle 13 CD4
sunburntats TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 1 CD2
PoppyisaPain TTC#2 UCL 28 Cycle 1 CD ?
effilump TTC#5 UCL28 cycle WTF CD?
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle WTF CD?
keevamum TTC#3 UCL? cycle? CD?
lulabell79 TTC#? UCL? cycle? CD?

WTTC
Justbeenforapromenade
Fingerscrossedlegsopen

MIA (stopped at CD60)
em22 TTC#? UCL28 cycle 3 CD61
trixel TTC#3 UCL28-35 cycle 7 CD61

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
Hoops997
Stressy BFP 22nd August 2009
becky78 BFP 4th September 2009
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September 2009
Waitingisntfun BFP 19th September 2009
Chamois BFP 7th October 2009
Apples BFP 9th November 2009 - TWINS
Meita BFP 10th December 2009
CakeandFineWine BFP 27th December 2009
boodleboot BFP 2nd January 2010

Snow day today...schools are all closed so at home. Still snowing steadily. As it goes, this cycle I've had the best chance of conceiving...I've been taking it fairly easy at home since 16th December. School is quite stressful and I suspect that Ofsted stress may not have helped the pregnancy I mc'd. I will only have worked at school for four or five days during the whole month - and that is dependent on being able to go in tomorrow and Friday.

MrsR - how are you? I too was worried during your absence and feel so sorry that you are low. I know it's tough but things will pick up. I did read somewhere that the increased fertility after a mc lasts several months rather than just a few weeks. So maybe you will be lucky this time around.

The 2WW seems to take forever to pass. I really want to wait to test until past day 28 providing no AF, but I don't know if I can wait. Still feeling queasy on and off but DD has been throwing up all morning so we might have a bug and not a symtpom. Lightheaded today too. I'm such a moaner...in a week's time when I have AF I'll be annoyed with myself for creating psychsematic (sp.?) pregnancy symptoms ! Such is life! Anyone else about to test? SB

morning, made it to work, nursery open thank god, being at work keeps me busy and stops me eating the whole time

no symptoms still, feel absolutely normal, still 6 days til I expect AF and no way I am doing any early tests on the offchance, set myself up for disappointment.

boodle just checking you are going ok, thinking of you and meita and cakes while you are all in this early stage. You can go back to Toatallys Grads thread now!!! Totally must be due soon, thats a real milestone, this groups founder member about to have a baby girl. Makes me feel much more positive about it happening at some point.

Am down to 13stone 1 this morning, eating lots of fish and fruit and salad and soup and taking my folic acid so feel like I am setting up a healthy body to really try and get a good outcome in the next couple of cycles.

Hope all doing ok. TFLS nice to hear from you, sorry about your dog problems - hope that resolves itself

SamB step away from the EPTs and don't give yourself a hard time for symptom spotting - we all do it, all the time!! even when we are trying not to

sunburnt good to know you are out of the WTF cycle and into something more normal, its a big step in moving forward

jollster ... news??

louiseesh hope you are feeling abit better for now

righto, best do some work finally

well had my first set of bloods taken at 9am this morning.....i should have results this afternoon so then i can start obsessing about whether or not the numbers are normal etc for this stage. AF would of been due today so i am still amazed to think that i got the first whisper of a faint line on friday evening - six days early! i guess i can count myself as being 4wks today then....very nervously awaiting these results but feel like numbers must be pretty high due to the earliness of the detection in my urine....
[chewingnailsintooblivionemoticon}

i think we should campaign to MN HQ for a new emoticon that indicates nervousness....it seems to be a given that we ladies on the TTC threads would need this one non??

i would be far to terrified to even go near that thread for the time being.....

MrsR I had a hospital appt for my diabetes and the consultant repeated his view that statistically it can take you 6 months to get back to normal after a miscarriage. I pointed out that anecdotally I know people who seem to do it rather faster than that. But it's sort of semi-re-assuring now I'm just past the 6 months point. Either that or they buggered something up when they did the ERPC in which case....

Saying which he is always keen on statistics and I'm always keen to prove just why they are known as "lies, damned lies and statistics".

I ordered pre-seed and got a note through my door to say they needed to be signed for. Is there a [grrr] face?

I then discovered we'd been burgled more fun and then the snow made it fun to get into work this morning. The only hope I have now is Heathrow will be open on Sunday as we're meant to be going on holiday somewhere warm....

Good luck boo, fx...SB

Just looked at loads of graphs on ff. My graph doesn't look like any of them, pregnant or otherwise. TTC is a tiresome business. Feeling a bit low... SB

samanthab123 I've been doing the same and none of the graphs I've seen look like mine either.

I'm slightly concerned as my tempratures are continually dropping, no rises like everybody elses.

Sunday CD8 - 36.50
Monday CD9 - 36.38
Tuesday CD10 - 36.32
Wednesday CD11 - 36.15

???

MrsR I think that's ok. My temperature was 36.2 everyday until day day 16. It went up to 36.5 on 17 and then 36.7. Since then it has been back at 36.5 until today when I dipped to 36.3. My graph is so...neat with so little variation. The graphs I saw on FF were wild with peaks and troughs all over the place - that was pregnant and not pregnant ones. I couldn't really see much of a pattern in them. I have read since that there can be a dip in temmperature at implantation so I'm keeping it all crossed that we are implanting today. Looking at your temps they aren't dropping very much. From my own perspective I don't know if I think that charting temps is a good way to go. I did feel like I was in control more and it was useful when it came to confirming ovulation but, to be honest I had worked it out anyway. I know I'm new and experienced at ttc but it seems that if you (I don't mean you personally, I mean all of us), bd whenever there is ewcm that would give the best chance of conceiving irrespctive of temps. That was how I conceived the one I mc'd...

Try not to worry, it won't help any, and try to hold on to some perspective. I know it's tough... What do you do work wise? Aren't you going back shortly? SB

MrsRigby, it is very common for temps to drop before they rise. CD11 would be very very early for a rise. If you are seeing fertile CM now, I would expect the rise to occur in 3-4 days from now - if your CM is not so fertile yet, then even later. As you have irregular cycles, it may be that you don't get a rise for a long time. There is no way of telling in advance.
BTW I believe that on FF you can search specifically for graphs from women who have PCOS. These might look more familiar to you.

SamB, I was meaning to ask you how you measure. I also measure(d) orally, with a "standard" thermometer. But I made sure I got one that has two figures after the comma - I think this is important. And also, I read that you get much clearer results (and it was true for me) if you wait 5 minutes before reading the result, instead of just to the peep. With me, the temp rises between 0.05 and 0.3 AFTER the peep. Without waiting to five minutes, my results would be virtually non interpretable.
I also read somewhere that if your temp line is basically flat, you should try replacing the batteries.

Good luck both of you. For me it was important to keep in mind that charting my temps was not directly helping me TTC. It DID help me understand my cycles and predict when AF was due. In the long term, that helps for TTCing too, but in the short term, you'll want to chart your CM and/or do OPKs for increasing your TTC chances.

tigger I'm liking your attitude towards statistics I got fed up by doctors 'reassuring' me that statistically there is no higher chance of MCing again after one previous MC. Because what they were of course not saying, is, that at the same time the chances of MCing again are not LOWER, either. They are just as high as they were before - and if it happened before, there is no reason why it shouldn't happen again...
Which is why I decided to self-medicate a bit... am not prepared to wait for 3 MCs before they start looking for causes. So I'm taking baby aspirin and a strong cup of lady's mantle tea every day. The latter is a natural gestagen and increases the level of progesterone. Some people have found it to work as well as Utrogestan, but you only get that prescribed if you have been diagnosed with a progesterone deficiency, which they won't look into until after three MCs...
Disclaimer: This is no medical advice. Herbal stuff can be potent and I am taking this at my own risk - I would not presume to advise anyone to do the same.

baaalllllllls. went straight to hosp path dept for my blood test results as my docs really take ages and sadly due to the snow the results wont be in until tomorr morning.....how annoying....

i am not sure if temps make sense to anyone really....FF really didn't make much sense to me tbh but i LOVED looking at the DPO +ve preg tests....according to FF i still am not even in my luteal phase yet i have BFP? Go figure.....

Why baby aspirin meita?

sam sorry, x-posted.
There are many reasons why people have peaks and zig-zags. It can be due to irregular sleeping patterns, alcohol, stress, change of environment, measuring at different times, and so on. If yours is very regular that simply indicates that you might have sort of a stable, regular lifestyle?

Basically your temps sound very reasonable to me. A rise by 0.3 from 36.2 to 36.5 is very natural for indicating ovulation. A single dip 6DPO doesn't have to mean anything. It can be a fluke - you slept with your mouth open or something - or as you said, an indication for implantation (though not a certain one). On the other hand, if it stays low from now on or continues to drop below the coverline, I'd start wondering about short luteal phases. Especially if this happens regularly in all of your cycles. That's exactly what I mean that charting temps can help in the long term. One observed cycle won't tell you much at all. It's only when you have observed a few that you can maybe determine patterns.
So, here's me hoping that your temp rises again tomorrow and then stays high for a few months!

ah boodle, x-posted again

baby aspirin: Well, again a totally un-proven hunch sort of thing. I read that in some cases, MCs are caused by the blood not flowing well enough in the uterus, there is a certain condition that makes this happen, it can be tested for, but again, this is not done before you had three MCs. Now if you have this condition, it has to do with blood clotting and you are often prescribed baby aspirin to fight it. There is some evidence that it helps, but there are also studies that show that MC rates aren't influenced by taking baby aspiring (not positively nor negatively).
But apparently baby aspirin is safe to take, up until the last 4 weeks of pregnancy (but only baby aspirin - do not take higher doses of aspirin when you're pregnant). So I figured that if it might help, and doesn't hurt, I'd take it. I have to say that my GP disagrees - she says that it's best to avoid all medication if you can. But she also confirmed that it wouldn't do any harm.

Again, I won't recommend this to anyone. Talk to your GP instead. Particularly, boodle, I'm thinking that if you are at elevated risk of an ectopic, you probably shouldn't take it, at least until it's confirmed that the bean is at the right place. Because the aspirin, as an anti-clotting agent, will make it that if you bleed, it won't stop easily. That's why you shouldn't take baby aspirin before surgery or before giving birth - you need the bleeding to stop then. So if everything goes downhill and you need surgery again for a second ectopic (fingers crossed that this won't happen - I'm just painting the worst-case scenario here) you don't want to have been taking baby aspirin beforehand.

Afternoon ladies,

A small piece of good news from me - the hospital has just called to say that mine and DH's blood tests have both come back as normal, which is a massive massive relief.

(Basically - although we've only (!) lost two babies, they offered to do karotype blood tests on us after losing the placental tissue from Gracie that I specifically requested they test. Idiots.)

Of course, it also means that losing the two babies was just extraordinarily bad luck, which I think will always be hard to get my head round, but still, it means we can try again and hopefully catch a break next time.