Just MC'd. Starting it all again.. Come and join me for the long haul, vol 2

[thefatladyscreams]

Hardly the most original title but I didn't want to loose anyone (well that's my excuse for the lack of originality!)

Congratulations boodleboot.

Congratulations Boodle. I really hope it works out this time.

Congrats boodleboot

thanks guys...and thanks for moving me onto the other list MrsR although i really feel soo soo nervous being on there....like its saying it outloud or something....who knows what this pregnancy will bring, a healthy babe? i would love to think so but hey, like meita says, it is 'our lot' to worry given what we have been through.

been asleep all afternoon as escaped with the times to my bedroom and only read the supplement before waking up in a pile of drool.....DH has barely acknowledged the +ve test with anything other than terror in his eyes...can't blame him really i guess i feel like that but it irked me all the same....

deffo recommend the Pre-Seed tho....no real idea if it played a part but it has gotten me pregnant 2 out of three cycles that we have used it....

Congrats Boodle - am so pleased for you x

Just bumping me back to square one after AF got me. Quick (and very dim) q though - had blood when I wiped yesterday, but only when I wiped. Today is heavier. So does yesterday count as D1 or today?

Sunday's list:

Sunburnt TTC#2 UCL28 cycle WTF CD26
RunForTheHills TTC#1 UCL30 cycle 12 CD26
Jollster TTC#2 UCL26-28 cycle 4 CD24
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 5 CD22
LeeWT TTC#2 UCL 30-32 cycle -2 CD20
samanthab123 TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 1 CD19
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 9 CD18
sarahlou8 TTC#3 UCL27 cycle 1 CD16
TFLS TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 6 CD14
Zayja TTC#1 UCL24-27 cycle 9 CD14
Tigger15 TTC#2 UCL31 cycle 7 CD10
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL? cycle 1 CD8
Louisesh TTC#1 UCL33 cycle 25 CD5
effilump TTC#5 UCL28 cycle WTF CD?
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle WTF CD?
lulabell79 TTC#? UCL? cycle? CD?
keevamum TTC#3 UCL? cycle? CD?
PoppyisaPain TTC#2 UCL 28 Cycle 1 CD ?
vivcliquot TTC#1 UCL27 Cycle 2 CD2

WTTC
Justbeenforapromenade
Fingerscrossedlegsopen

MIA (stopped at CD60)
em22 TTC#? UCL28 cycle 3 CD61
trixel TTC#3 UCL28-35 cycle 7 CD61

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
Hoops997
Stressy BFP 22nd August 2009
becky78 BFP 4th September 2009
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September 2009
Waitingisntfun BFP 19th September 2009
Chamois BFP 7th October 2009
Apples BFP 9th November 2009 - TWINS
Meita BFP 10th December 2009
CakeandFineWine BFP 27th December 2009
boodleboot BFP 2nd January 2010

boodle - you are so lovely and after everything with the ectopic last time I am thrilled for you that it has happened for you again so soon. I still remember your first BFP as we were matching dates that month and I had only been here a month! Thanks for understanding. Might nip out and get me some preseed though!!

Am feeling abit better. DH and DS were both driving me spare earlier and truth is we have really taken a less active approach these last two months since the BIG disappointment. Lord if I did get pregnant this month on the back of all the wine, coffee, blue cheese, prawns, nuts, antihistamines and total lack of anything resembling a health diet or any kind of supplements I would be worried about the potential impact.

Necked a couple of folic acid tabs tonight and bought some grapefruit juice today to get back on the ttc and fertility boosting wagon.

Would love it if I was pregnant this month as then I wouldn't have to deal with the 10 pounds I gained over Christmas - well - over my pre Christmas holiday and Christmas but holy cow - 10 pounds in 10 days.

viv I always take first day where I catch sight of blood as day 1 - for this month means I am likely to have a 30 or 31 day cycle on the CBFM as I started it o CD26 last month which was when there was 'wipe' action as oppose to full on bleeding action .... tmi?!

Didn't get pregnant staight after miscarriage, so that whole being more fertile thing is a load of crap.

Sister-in-law and friend are due in February and March.

I've got to go back to work on 14th January, the only thing keeping me going was that I would be pregnant and only be there 5 months.

DS only wants his daddy. He won't come near me, let me hold him, kiss, cuddle, play, feed etc. He just wants nothing to do with me.

So, in a nutshell I'm not pregnant, don't want to go back to work, but have to and DS has completely rejected me.

Life is shit right now.

And if by some miracle I did get pregnant, I'd be due in October. DS was born in November. And this is the best case scenario.

Of course thanks to PCOS, getting pregnant could take a long time and then when I am I have an increased risk of miscarriage.

I'm doing everything I can. Trying to improve my diet (I'm a vegetarian anyway), drink more water, exercise, sex every other day, ovulation prediction tests, temping, monitoring CM, reducing caffiene and not yet known to DH subscribing to Fertility Friend.

He keeps going on about the cost of all the pregnancy tests, ovulation tests, fertility thermonotor and diary kit and Fertility Friend. He has a point. But I have to try everything.

So, thats why I've been so quiet.

Congratulations again boodleboot .

oh MrsR, I am sorry.

I know about that "oooo the gap is bigger than I wanted".... I was ecstatic when I fell first month when DS turned one... gap would have been 21 months... ooo, how clever am I...? Not that clever actually...

Now best case scenario is 2.4 years... but actually bigger issue is I'm 42 next birthday. I might not be able to get/stay pregnant again... So just to say... I know it's tough.

Welcome poppy, hope you're doing ok.

BIG but quiet congrats to you Boodle. You must be ecstatic.

I'm just glad no AF yet, which at least means a longer cycle again... doubt I'm pregnant this month, absolutely no signs. But have put a note in phone to test Weds... like I'd forget... .

Yeh BIG CONGRATS BOODLE OMG So happy for you , you ve been through the mill.

We had a lovely new year at my parents house,eating,drinking.....Back to sliming world in the next 2 weeks as know my bmis increased again and when i attend the the genetic counseller for ivf i know they re focus on my bmi[its only 2-3 over what it should be] how annoying when you look at all the fatties that get pg naturally.....

MRSR with you completelt...totally empathise with you...i ve kinda lost the will ttc as i would probably miscarry again due to my chromosonal problem.I also worry about my age as i m now 39.All i m hoping for is this time next year we ll hopefully be a step foreward we will have either failed at ivf and begun our adoption process or by a massive strike of luck got pg and actually made it past 9 weeks pg!!!!

Welcome POPPY and 2010JOLLISTER

Hi to everyone else hope you all had a wlovely new year.We re off work tomorrow thank god....need to take the decorations down, i think.Mmmm think i might go and have sex for FUN!!!!!! Whats that again????

TFLS hope you re dog s ok....like BOODLE we ve also got cats and love them to death ....i guess as we ve no DC they're like our babies...Like you too i worry about my age as i m 39 now and i ve now had 2 MCs and 1 CP soo haven t got a great obsteric history.....Basically think i ve little chance of concieving and making it past 9 weeks pg naturally.....

I ve no answers , just to let you know i can empathise with you...I seem to be doing a lot of that on here....

Monday's list:

Sunburnt TTC#2 UCL28 cycle WTF CD27
RunForTheHills TTC#1 UCL30 cycle 12 CD27
Jollster TTC#2 UCL26-28 cycle 4 CD25
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 5 CD23
LeeWT TTC#2 UCL 30-32 cycle -2 CD21
samanthab123 TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 1 CD20
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 9 CD19
sarahlou8 TTC#3 UCL27 cycle 1 CD17
TFLS TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 6 CD15
Zayja TTC#1 UCL24-27 cycle 9 CD15
Tigger15 TTC#2 UCL31 cycle 7 CD11
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL? cycle 1 CD9
Louisesh TTC#1 UCL33 cycle 25 CD6
effilump TTC#5 UCL28 cycle WTF CD?
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle WTF CD?
lulabell79 TTC#? UCL? cycle? CD?
keevamum TTC#3 UCL? cycle? CD?
PoppyisaPain TTC#2 UCL 28 Cycle 1 CD ?
vivcliquot TTC#1 UCL27 Cycle 2 CD2

WTTC
Justbeenforapromenade
Fingerscrossedlegsopen

MIA (stopped at CD60)
em22 TTC#? UCL28 cycle 3 CD61
trixel TTC#3 UCL28-35 cycle 7 CD61

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
Hoops997
Stressy BFP 22nd August 2009
becky78 BFP 4th September 2009
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September 2009
Waitingisntfun BFP 19th September 2009
Chamois BFP 7th October 2009
Apples BFP 9th November 2009 - TWINS
Meita BFP 10th December 2009
CakeandFineWine BFP 27th December 2009
boodleboot BFP 2nd January 2010

Hi and happy new year everyone!

First of all, congratulations boodleboot! It's brilliant news

Hi to TFLS and sorry about the news of your dog - hope all works out to be ok.

Haven't posted since way before christmas. Was going a bit loony in a ttc kind of way as it looked like travel plans were going to mean DP and I were a zillion miles apart around OV time. Luckily my body managed to hold back with everything and we just managed it (we didn't bonk on the baggage carousel at arrivals but just about). Yes, my grip on reality is slipping, but it was my first post-mc cycle and i was desperate to make the most of the higher fertility.

So, that's all the news about me me me! Let's hope it's a good year for us all

Adding myself onto list. Cheepz didn't mean to copy you!

Monday's list:

Sunburnt TTC#2 UCL28 cycle WTF CD27
RunForTheHills TTC#1 UCL30 cycle 12 CD27
Jollster TTC#2 UCL26-28 cycle 4 CD25
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 5 CD23
Tetleytea TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 1 CD23
LeeWT TTC#2 UCL 30-32 cycle -2 CD21
samanthab123 TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 1 CD20
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 9 CD19
sarahlou8 TTC#3 UCL27 cycle 1 CD17
TFLS TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 6 CD15
Zayja TTC#1 UCL24-27 cycle 9 CD15
Tigger15 TTC#2 UCL31 cycle 7 CD11
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL? cycle 1 CD9
Louisesh TTC#1 UCL33 cycle 25 CD6
effilump TTC#5 UCL28 cycle WTF CD?
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle WTF CD?
lulabell79 TTC#? UCL? cycle? CD?
keevamum TTC#3 UCL? cycle? CD?
PoppyisaPain TTC#2 UCL 28 Cycle 1 CD ?
vivcliquot TTC#1 UCL27 Cycle 2 CD2

WTTC
Justbeenforapromenade
Fingerscrossedlegsopen

MIA (stopped at CD60)
em22 TTC#? UCL28 cycle 3 CD61
trixel TTC#3 UCL28-35 cycle 7 CD61

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
Hoops997
Stressy BFP 22nd August 2009
becky78 BFP 4th September 2009
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September 2009
Waitingisntfun BFP 19th September 2009
Chamois BFP 7th October 2009
Apples BFP 9th November 2009 - TWINS
Meita BFP 10th December 2009
CakeandFineWine BFP 27th December 2009
boodleboot BFP 2nd January 2010

sunburnt, runforthehills and jollster anymore BFP's that I should add to the list?

Fingers crossed for you all. Good luck.

MrsR - would you mind changing me to CD3 on today's list? I'm counting Saturday as CD1.

So, was on my way into work this morning when I realised that in a perfect world, I shouldn't be on my way to work as I should now be on maternity leave. Then felt guilty that I hadn't remembered earlier.

Still, on the whole, I'm feeling quite bouncy and optimistic about what the next few months will bring. Let's hope it lasts, eh?

Monday's list:

Sunburnt TTC#2 UCL28 cycle WTF CD27
RunForTheHills TTC#1 UCL30 cycle 12 CD27
Jollster TTC#2 UCL26-28 cycle 4 CD25
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 5 CD23
Tetleytea TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 1 CD23
LeeWT TTC#2 UCL 30-32 cycle -2 CD21
samanthab123 TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 1 CD20
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 9 CD19
sarahlou8 TTC#3 UCL27 cycle 1 CD17
TFLS TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 6 CD15
Zayja TTC#1 UCL24-27 cycle 9 CD15
Tigger15 TTC#2 UCL31 cycle 7 CD11
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL? cycle 1 CD9
Louisesh TTC#1 UCL33 cycle 25 CD6
vivcliquot TTC#1 UCL27 Cycle 2 CD3
PoppyisaPain TTC#2 UCL 28 Cycle 1 CD ?
effilump TTC#5 UCL28 cycle WTF CD?
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle WTF CD?
keevamum TTC#3 UCL? cycle? CD?
lulabell79 TTC#? UCL? cycle? CD?

WTTC
Justbeenforapromenade
Fingerscrossedlegsopen

MIA (stopped at CD60)
em22 TTC#? UCL28 cycle 3 CD61
trixel TTC#3 UCL28-35 cycle 7 CD61

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
Hoops997
Stressy BFP 22nd August 2009
becky78 BFP 4th September 2009
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September 2009
Waitingisntfun BFP 19th September 2009
Chamois BFP 7th October 2009
Apples BFP 9th November 2009 - TWINS
Meita BFP 10th December 2009
CakeandFineWine BFP 27th December 2009
boodleboot BFP 2nd January 2010

mrsr you are right, that is all really shit. [bighugisbestcando]

back at work today - yawn - DS had bad night - up twice, think he was worried about going back to nursery, was horrible leaving him this morning - felt wretched when he started sobbing in my shoulder as I peeled him off to give him to someone else to cuddle ... felt the knife go in when he said 'will twy an be bwave boy mummy'

have just seen team objectives which show my area as going global this year .. not what i had in mind, will mean a ton of travel - will have to schedule around ovulation of course but also means childcare nightmare and time away from dh and ds which i hate, will try and send younger childless members of team who love it but can't delegate all the trips.

at least have gone from 13 - 9 on saturday night to 13 - 5 on sunday night to 13 -3 this morning, am eating nothing with any fat at all, small portions and nothing after 630pm, always weigh more in the evening and on saturday we had a late dinner so 13-3 is my real starting point I think - thats still 9 pounds more than when we went to Cape Town and 3 more than when I started my diet in September. Crap

fingers crossed for you ladies up at the top, I'm off to eat another dried apricot

oh and the icing on my fat cake is that DH has hired a 23 year old sports science graduate as his PA, so she is not going to be fit looking at all .....

MrsR get yourself some preseed. CAn't do any harm can it and it certainly took the pressure off me to really enjoy BD everyother day.....it really can be very expensive all the gubbins tho can't it. I found FF quite confusing when it came to my luteal phase as because itThis month i bought one pack of 25 Instalert EPT's which came in like a little lozenge tube and seemed better quality than the individual wrapped ones. They were only 4.70 from amazon. even when i bought the CBdigi i got it from superdrug where they are 7.59 at the min incidently....you gotta keep the faith hun, you WILL get pregnant again and you WILL have a baby in your arms. GOod to have you back....its strange when you are quiet....

viv - sorry you felt a bit pants today.....whats done is done tho eh, lets put our best foot forward and get you pregnant again....

I took another test this morning obviously...I still felt really panicky when waiting for the line to show up this morning altho there it was and getting darker so that is nice to see....trying not to freak out at every twinge and pull but its difficult. I also have a bit of a numb leg like i did with the EP last time {only symptom and not even really a EP symptom}but i have been told that the chances of another EP are only 10% which gives me a brilliant chance at having a IU preg this time......then we just need it to hang on til past the danger zone 12wk mark......not allowing myself to even get slightly hopeful but have been reading a really reassuring book in the bible called Samuel 1 about Hannah who was infertile and cried out for a baby who she promised to dedicate back to God....she became pregnant with Samuel after that prayer. Anyhoo, its helps me and brings me comfort and reminds me that this baby has already made its journey and whereever it is growing is wherever it is growing and there is nothing i can do about it....FX its found my womb.

cheepz - that is so funny that is exactly what i weighed after christmas.....13 9! I have just had a cheese melt panini and belgian bun tho so not expecting it to go down anytime soon ha ha....i keep telling myself that as i am 5"9 it doesn't show but my trousers beg to differ ha....heres hoping that the PA has the fitness of a greyhound....and the face also ...x

boodle that's why my brother was called Samuel. Though our parents didn't have fertility issues, and my mum was only 19 when he was born (incidentially on the same day as my bean is due) - but they had prayed for a baby and promised to dedicate him or her to God.
Good to hear that you are finding some reassurance. I felt the first few weeks after the BFP to be like a loooong and magnified 2ww... hoping, but not daring to hope too much, scared and worried about doing something that would harm the embryo, symptom spotting like mad, certain that the inevitable dashing of the hope was just around the corner in the form of bleeding. Just that you're supposed to feel happy and relieved because the real 2ww is over with a positive result. When in fact it feels like the 2ww has just extended into a 10ww or something. My fingers are still crossed for you.

cheepz come on lady, a 23-yo-sports-graduate cannot be a match for you . Don't I remember you getting a spectacular, flattering new dress sometime in summer? Maybe its time to get that out again...

tetley glad to hear that you managed to get some activity at the right time! I remember it wasn't looking good, but sometimes our bodies can just be accommodating Ha- a baggage conveyor belt... now that would be an exotic location, if anyone needs some spicing up of their sex lives?!

viv I like that attitude

MrsR Keep the faith. This year will be your year.

meita good call - although will not look so good with the spare tyre at the mo - have bought dress for post christmas party friday that is loose around the middle but impossibly short (have good legs) which should give him food for thought!! Am loving that you are still with us here, would very much iss you if you went off on a bus permenently!!

boodle am also tall - means it creeps on though doesnt it and before you know it - bam your belt doesn't do up any more

tetley bet I won't test before you do although am expecting long cycle this month (was short last and long the month before)

Hi All

Here's hoping 2010 is a great year for us all

Great news, cake and boodle

List updated for me - no BFP but hey, maybe next month

Monday's list:

Sunburnt TTC#2 UCL28 cycle WTF CD27
Jollster TTC#2 UCL26-28 cycle 4 CD25
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 5 CD23
Tetleytea TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 1 CD23
LeeWT TTC#2 UCL 30-32 cycle -2 CD21
samanthab123 TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 1 CD20
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 9 CD19
sarahlou8 TTC#3 UCL27 cycle 1 CD17
TFLS TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 6 CD15
Zayja TTC#1 UCL24-27 cycle 9 CD15
Tigger15 TTC#2 UCL31 cycle 7 CD11
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL? cycle 1 CD9
Louisesh TTC#1 UCL33 cycle 25 CD6
vivcliquot TTC#1 UCL27 Cycle 2 CD3
RunForTheHills TTC#1 UCL30 cycle 13 CD2
PoppyisaPain TTC#2 UCL 28 Cycle 1 CD ?
effilump TTC#5 UCL28 cycle WTF CD?
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle WTF CD?
keevamum TTC#3 UCL? cycle? CD?
lulabell79 TTC#? UCL? cycle? CD?

WTTC
Justbeenforapromenade
Fingerscrossedlegsopen

MIA (stopped at CD60)
em22 TTC#? UCL28 cycle 3 CD61
trixel TTC#3 UCL28-35 cycle 7 CD61

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
Hoops997
Stressy BFP 22nd August 2009
becky78 BFP 4th September 2009
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September 2009
Waitingisntfun BFP 19th September 2009
Chamois BFP 7th October 2009
Apples BFP 9th November 2009 - TWINS
Meita BFP 10th December 2009
CakeandFineWine BFP 27th December 2009
boodleboot BFP 2nd January 2010

Hi All.....Feel down today thinking would have been nearly 6 months pg now if my 2nd MC hadn t have happened then went shopping and saw big fat pg women who have probably never had a problem ttc in their lifes!!!!!!

It s not fair!!! In fact had things worked out differently i could have had a 7 month old child and be 6 months pg with our 2nd instead we ve got a big fat nothing....

Sorry , just feel really piss*d off with it.Had today off work was nice but back tomorrow....URH....Feel like i ve nothing to look foreward to as even if i happened to get pg i d probably lose it again

FED UP.....SORRY....

Oh louise, have a hug. Your situation really is very frustrating. You have every right to feel fed up, no need to apologise. That's exactly what this thread is for, a place to vent all those frustrations.

When is your appointment with the genetic counsellor? Is it certain that there is a genetic problem? I totally understand that TTC without a real hope that it will work out would be quite hellish. Have you decided if you will try IVF or something? Then at least you would have that to look forward to. I'm sure there is still some hope. Sometimes we just need to cling to the little hope that's left.
Wishing you all the best.

louise sending love