Mid 30s TTC - Simply The BESH... BESHer than all the rest!

[Scorpette]

Come on in, ladies. I've had a widescreen telly installed and there's a big cupboard full of 80s teen movies if anyone's interested. New and more secure cages for our prey are being delivered soon. There's a big picture of a desert over the bar, a loudly ticking clock in the corner and bowls of raisins, currants and sultanas on every table; everything the discerning BESH could ask for...

FGS Scorpette

coke = cocaine obviously although I was referring to vodka/gin - but you get my drift.

Sorry ski I may have painted a slighty too angelic picture of myself. I removed the voddy after I'd already had 2 glasses of wine & a crazy cocktail of voddy & contreau.....

Poor Laurie The world seems full of everyone getting updiffed at the drop of a hat except US, doesn't it? As regards friends 'n' family, they can't be expected to not updiff just cos of us lot (well, they could, the selfish bastards, but anyway), but they could tone down the 'I only have to think about cock and triplets are falling out of my fanny' chat, could they not. I always used to wish my cousins were younger so we could do stuff together (my Uncle is 13 yrs older than my mum and my cousins were all in their teens when I was born), but I'm glad now they're a lot older and that they've all had their families and I don't have to deal with non-stop family 'announcements' (despite my cousin's daughter just having had a DD). But if you can take anything good from that chat, remember the woman who had to have IVF then updiffed naturally and quickly; for any of us who might need to go that route, that's BESHspiration, not a kick in the teeth. My cousin had to have IVF after trying for 5 years (a DD) and then went on to have 2 more DDs naturally in quick succession (stopped stressing about it, innit).

My friend has 2 sons and is always going on about how she got pg the first month of TTC at 31 and how with the second, she had a missed MC whilst still on the pill and then got pg 3 weeks after that, despite still being on the pill. Now she's nattering on about being scared about getting knocked up a 3rd time as she and her DH are clearly 'superfertile'. I feel like throttling her with her own fallopian tubes. Mind you, I held her baby for her whilst she went to the loo in a cafe and an old lady complimented me on 'my' beautiful baby and how I looked like a 'natural mother' and I didn't correct her - was this wrong?

Thank you ski for your good advice and reassurance, as always. Y'day was D15, so entirely reasonable that it was in fact Ov and that stuff was uber-FFJ. It was stretchy and fluid unlike nasal nastiness, so who knows? Perhaps we timed things just right and the POK tests are bollocks. I did come ridiculously easily and strongly, which is a usual sign of OV. Mmm, that was some gooood lovins... sorry, where was I? The sample I used was after I'd drunk a lot of water, so that could've bolloxed it.

You're so reassuring, thoughtful and lovely. V maternal, in fact. You really ARE going to be a wonderful Mum. As are all of us

Scorpette I think you should offer your comiserations and say something snide like "Yes, it is difficult to remember to take the pill every day, what with it being basically ingrained in to being a woman and most of us having to cope with a M-T-W-Th-F-S-Su order. It's so complicated isn't it? You poor thing, have you considered that you might just be too thick to procreate?"

Heh heh, ski, I was certainly thinking something similar. I do see how people who don't think or worry about stuff just get updiffed quickly and easily whereas people like me/us lot, who think about things a bit more, tend to have the issues - clearly stressing the system, etc.

I have another friend who's 36 and her 27-yr old boyf has said they 'can' start TTC on her 47th b-day next year. I know she'll get updiffed ASAP because she doesn't think about stuff deeply. She won't be worrying about timing and POKPOK and preseed and seeing the Dr or all of that. She's had 2 abortions, crabs, severe thrush, taken loads of drugs in the past, been anorexic and her periods stopped for a year, smokes, binge-drinks, eats crap, etc., etc., but earlier this year she got pg whilst using the pill (and yes, she was taking it right and hadn't been ill or anything) and had an early MC.

Not judging her, just laying out facts. Whereas me, with my 20+ years of textbook-perfect menstrual cycles, no diseases/infections/probs and virtuous lifestyle, am probably fretting myself into infertility over nothing. Grrrr.

If I book an appt. with me Dr for next month, doesn't that guarantee I'll be updiffed by the time I get there, thus making me look like a hysterical hypochondriac for nowt?

Woooh! extremesitting is back!

I know! With her dressing gown honking with lovely holiday smells

Ah good afternoon 'ladies'! I see you did not close the door of the new palace sufficiently to stop Mme Angste resuming her place on the sofa?? What a hotbed of fret!

Well I'm just the FINEST one to talk after a house move fraught with stress. Been cleaning for a week - unprecedented. All sorted now and depsite being Boracic, Homme found 600 sheets for a new telly . Mind, I found 238 coins for a new Dyson

So I don't have internet at home yet (accursed AOL) and thus all my crops have died on Farmville, but I am back at work so lunchtime access is granted. Good to see you all again . Loving what you've done with the place - particularly the David Mitchell bar-tender (tm)

Just a quickie to report camping babyfail - the droid rocked up Saturday afternoon, about two hours after we pitched the tent. Cunt.
So I proceeded to consume vast quantities of wine and whisky (after a wee cry). The silver lining? - no hangover. Back for chats when finished travelling.

Greetings BESHs! I have installed a rack of baseball bats, spades, hand grenades, industrial strength magnets and the like so that ski and CC can take their revenge against the droid. Whack away!

I had a baby-filled weekend - well, two. Both lovely baby boys

Jailbait has managed to get 4 POAS from superdrug for 9 quid - bargain, they're nearly that a pop here. He is also bringing me a haggis and a double-decker. I so hope he gets his bags searched.

VAG I too wonder where I'll find the energy...

So it's official - nothing brings on a babyfail faster than a camping trip.

Poor Curly I wonder if I might finally get my elusive PhD funding if I changed my topic to something like 'Camping and other curious causes of Babyfail'. Yet another reason why I hate camping so much as to view it as morally wrong.

I second (or is that third?) VAG's energy-for-baby worry, esp. seeing as I have CFS, vyt knackered with sprog seems better scenario than anything else minus sprog.

Ski your holiday gift requests say a lot about you. Mainly that you're probably a serial killer, but hey.

Well, I'm finally having some moisture movement down below. W00t and so on. Might've timed yesterday's GOF just right after all

VAG/Ski as far as I can tell,you don't actually find the energy,it's just that you don't actually have the option of stopping.that was the weird bit for me,realising how relentless it is!

R2 fucking D2 on his arsing way,can tell.have just bought 2 bottles of extra nice wine n 4 beers from the independent offie down the road to cheer up my sad old alcoholic bones. Not that I expected the duff fairy to visit this month anyway...doesn't stop me being pissed off about it.

Laurie sorry you're down mate. I'll mix you a special cocktail in this bucket.you can borrow clooney for a bit if you like too (he's a bit sticky,sorry bout that )

Is anyone lurking in the palace?

Hope so,otherwise I'm officially Drinking Alone. Mr gin still at work (nearly a 12 hr day and counting..) mani's in bed,and I'm sitting here having one of those strange wobbles that creep up on me sometimes.

Feel a bit teary. Quick,someone punch me!!

DOOOUFFFF! There, how's that? I'll see your strange wobble and raise you my day of convincing myself I'm having a premature menopause! Why is there no 'what a fucking loony' emoticon?

Maybe

sort of covers it?

Anyone want a giant chocolate button?

I have a trump that's escaping from my bloomers in little bubbles. I love that I do.

Is it really a chocolate button, Trog? Is it? Is it really? Or is your trump producing more than just little bubbles... ?

Well to be honest I haven't checked. It's a fair point well presented.

Am I correct in thinking there has been much talk of pregnancy and conception stuff whilst I've been gone? When I left it seemed that there were 5 alcohol related topics to every one conception and this seems to have reversed. Has everyone grownded up and not told me?

Oh scorps how's yer lad's todger?

TROGGGG!!! thank fuck you're back!

que? I was just about to say the same to you!!

Where's ski? I need to drag her face sharply onto my raised knee on account of her exsanguination situation.

I haven't been here a lot,was on hol and then got a bit iffy about the whole TTC chat type thing...essentially I just like talking bollocks while half cut, and saying 'CUNT!' a lot in case The Maul is tuning in.

How's the new pad?

Don't think she's actually bleeding to death just on the rag innit?