Mid 30s TTC - Simply The BESH... BESHer than all the rest!

[Scorpette]

Come on in, ladies. I've had a widescreen telly installed and there's a big cupboard full of 80s teen movies if anyone's interested. New and more secure cages for our prey are being delivered soon. There's a big picture of a desert over the bar, a loudly ticking clock in the corner and bowls of raisins, currants and sultanas on every table; everything the discerning BESH could ask for...

Shucks on behalf of the foal. She is way better looking than either of her parents. (Maybe is actually an alien child visited on us all?) As for the breeding thing - lovely suggestion but sorry, out of luck. Professor Pony has decided she will be locked away until the age of 21 (sample quote: 'I know what 18 year old boys are like - I was one'). Current plan is to distract her with ponies so she doesn't realise boys exist. That should last until about 15 if we're lucky. Then it's padlock and key or off to a remote nunnery.

Yeah, the SPD/wheelchair thing was a very low patch for me. Nobody expects that, and the pain was like nothing you've ever imagined. And I know it could happen all over again, but here I am. (So as not to scare anyone, mine was an extremely bad case - definitely not typical).

Ski, you've been slagging my brother's middle name off in BabyNames (which is also my Mum's maiden name) I must defend the family honour... PUT 'EM UP

Pony - really hope you don't get SPD (or at least anywhere near as bad) next time. I suppose when you're 75, though, that the arthritis and osteoporosis must exacerbate it...

The foal's beauty has to be a result of thoroughbred parents, BTW

Morning ladies,

Droid got me this morning - what a beautiful start to the week. I kind of envy those of you who get a bit of spotting first. Mine goes from nothing to full on with 1 swift wipe of Andrex!

On the plus side no worries about being updiffed & advised not to fly. Also droid can visit & fuck off before my hols - NEXT WEEK!!! Yippee! 7 more days in work, 10 days in total & I'm off............

I may have mentioned it once or twice before, but for the newbies sake (& coz I'm a leetle bit excited) First Class tickets to Thailand .

Please don't hate me, its our non-baby consolation prize. (Consolation? WTF? Who wants a baby when you can go on fabulous holidays instead?)

VAG when are you off?

Scorps Don't worry about it - I've seen my name described as both a man's name and a pretentious one! And if your brother will insist on being called "Rafe" when his name is clearly "Ralph" he deserves everything he gets!

Ponymum That seems very unfair that a fit horseriding lady would get SPD and a couchsurfing layabout who wouldn't know a gym if a personal trainer slapped her in the face with his lycra clad cock doesn't.

Laurie Where are you going once you get to Thailand? Are you catching an internal flight? When I was there last they had this bizarre poly-plex type walkway tube between international an national terminals. I sweated out about 2 stone during the walk and just wanted to die. I am salivating at the thought of mango cocktails though.

Oooh, thank you for asking ski

Couple of nights in Bangkok, then Phuket for 8 nights, then back to Bangkok.

We've done that before, but staying in diff hotels this time.

Last time we went they'd only just opened the new airport & didn't do internal flights from there. I understand that's changed, but I have no real idea. I just follow the boyf around like he's a tour guide & I'm a stroppy kid following in his wake!

Last time internal flight was hilarious. Someone sick very loudly while their husband laughed & pointed, someone else pushed their chair back & broke laptop of person behind, 2 fella's seemed to be very merry on water - later found out they'd opened their duty free whiskey & were about 1/2 a litre into that, & someone had a t-shirt emblazoned with "I survived the tsunami at X-Bar, Phuket". The flight was only about 1.5 hrs long, more entertaining than the 13 hour flight there!!

Should OV about the time we're in Phuket - the boyf thinks that would make a splendid name for a kid. At suggestions like that I really hope I'm infertile!

Hello. I miscarried at the weekend so it looks like I'm back here where I belong with you group of barren cackling hags.

I am today so be gentle.

Oh Bessie - lots of non-BESH hugs for you. .

How are you feeling? Have you taken a couple of days off work?

Laurie We took the flight to Koh Samui which seemed to be packed to the gills with Thai gangsters on their way to Hat Rin to sell drugs to the brits.

thankyou, Ski. It is sinking in slowly, I'm quite sad and a bit crampy.

I am not a lesbitarian though so get away from me with those comfortable shoes. I just like the taste of herbal tea, ok?

haha you're not a lesbian?? -I thought you were one of the laydeeez? Fancy a try?

Why do these bloody things always happen at the weekend? Mine happened friday afternoon and I spent all friday night/sat crying then eventually went out to the cinema sunday afternoon.

Are you planning to try again straight away?

dunno, oh wants to wait a month or 2 before trying again. He is being a bit dismissive of it - 'never mind, we'll try again', I think because he imagines it will be easier for me if he provides a solution.

it happened on Saturday morning, we had friends staying with us for the weekend (who hadn't known I was pregnant), it put a bit of a dampener on things

Oh blimey, did you confide in them? Or just sob in to your gin like a lunatic all weekend leaving them to surmise what the problem might be. E.g., "Clearly he's having an affair" or "It's obvious, he can't make her orgasm anymore."

My OH keeps saying things like "It happened once, it'll happen again" and being all cheery - I told him about laurie's bloke's enormous amount of two-headed sperm.

Oh Bessie, I'm sorry to hear that

No real words of wisdom - despite the boyf's large quantity of 2 headed sperm I've never been up-diffed, but the plus side is I've never experienced the loss due to mc. Long winded explanation of I don't really know what to say.

Can I offer you a herbal tea & tequila chaser?

Be kind to yourself & just do whatever takes your fancy.

Look after yourself, x

I don't know what to say either Bessie, except really sory to hear that and here's another totally un-BESH

Oh Beshie - that sucks for you.

ANNOUNCEMENT: I have now Totally Gone Off The Idea after reading this: Poo In Peace thread

Laurie - so soon! We're not going for another 3 weeks - well, three last Saturday. So excited! I've been ordering bikinis off Figleaves (20% off if you sign up for their emails today). I've also been pretending not to notice my cellulite and saggy bum.

So sorry Bessie. I'm adding another un-Besh hug to the mix. as laurie says, be good to yourself.

Bessie That's such sad news. Take care of yourself.

vag get you in all your bikini glory!! I'm braving a tankini & lots of sarongs!

Friend of ours, her husband asked if she was buying a tankini coz she was the size of one

How bloody rude of him!

ps she is the size of a tank, but that's beside the point.

I'm wavering on the whole baby front now, have to admit. I had kind of hoped it would happen "by accident" ie without really thinking about it. Now I'm awaiting an appointment for dildocam where they'll shoot dye up my fango, I'm not so keen. Someone has advised to wear sanitary protection after as you leak multi coloured dye - WTF?

laurie Wtf? I have dildocam on 6th Oct. No one told me about dye! Is this the first dildocam or is it a lap & dye?

NB I can never read Phuket without pronouncing it fuck it in my head. Am dead jealous of your holiday, though, esp the first class flights.

ideal truth be told I have no idea what is going to happen! Fertility guy had a funny blink which I was fixated with, so didn't take in everything he said.

To be fair he didn't mention dildocam, he just said a procedure similar to a smear where they would inject dye into my bits & xray it swooshing around to check there was no blockage. I don't really remember him calling it by a proper name. It was on another thread here that someone warned about dye leakage. I doubt I'll get an appointment before my hols, so you go first & report back!

BTW, it'll be my first proper appointment (previous appointment was just a chat to talk me through the options).

My mum will keep an eye on our house & post etc when we're away, now I'm certain a letter will arrive from the hospital, with flashing neon lights "THIS IS FROM THE HOSPITAL" & she'll worry & question me upon my return. Don't know whether to confide before I go? Oh, perhaps I'll text her from departure lounge.

ideal you nervous? This is another thing that makes me unsure about motherhood. If I'm already getting worked up about an appointment for a small procedure, how in hells name would I cope with labour?

Oh shit, someone pass me a Cosmopolitan, x

laurie Have a cosmo and don't panic...
The offical title on my paperwork from the hospital is transvaginal and transabdominal ultrasound. Have had dildocam once before to check why I was spotting between periods - is disconcerting (large dildo-shaped probe being lubed up by doctor before inserted into my fanjo) but not uncomfortable.

My GP said that they would do Day 20(ish) and Day 3(ish) bloods and then the ultrasound to check for obvious wrongnesses. More tests would follow after that point, including the lap & dye which squirts dye into your tubes to make sure that they're not blocked. Ick.

Has everyone seenthis?

Make mine a vino rosso please. Hello all, I is back from a fantastic holiday. Shattered now though. Just marking my place here and I'll go back and catch up.

Poor Bessie - yet another non-BESH hug for you

Welcome back, Cosmo! Show us yer tan lines, then

Ski, my brother's name isn't Ralph/Rafe - unless you are just being piss-taking here, it was another name you slagged off. His middle name is same as one of the boys in the Famous Five (hint: not the fnarr, fnarr-named one).

Well, if Fertility Friend is right, my luteal phase will only be 10 days max this month, which might just be long enough to sustain any possible updiffment. Have sore breasts, feel a bit sick, have metallic taste in mouth and 'weird crampings', but all of those things could just be other, mundane things that anyone could have for any reason. I can't get over the irony of having always ovulated early (D10-12) my whole life, then last month I get a mental over panicking I might be infertile and the stress shunts the OV to v late and it seems like it's reset itself to this. So worrying about not being able to get pg has affected my chances by shitting all over the Luteal Phase. Yeah, well done, Scorpette, YOU MASSIVE TWAT.

TWOOFLing, moi?