Mid 30's TTC - you're my BESH mate you are..... <hic hic>

[extremesitting]

OOOh - Hope this'll do! Emergency!

Scorpette As if you used a different tactic for TYF - unless of course you lured him in with happy meals and video games!

I'm sorry to hear you're going mental though Scorps although I fear I'm not far behind. I've had (got) grease dripping off my hair for the last two days which is he same as last time I was pg. I am captain shiny right now and look bootiful.

I feel I've not been able to wear my Judgey Pants for a while - does anyone have anything for us to judge en masse?

Afternoon one & all.

I've had plenty of 2WOOFL so I'm finding it quite amusing that the boyf is also on some kind of countdown - 3 days of no shagging or hand jobs, in "preparation" for his wank-in-a-pot appointment on Wed.

I'm finding it hilarious to wander around semi-naked with slut red nails, tousled hair & come hither eyes. (And that's just in work )

Only down-side is that I'm so hot (!) I've managed to turn myself on, & I'm desperate for a shag.

ski don't know about judging, but the thread over in Chat about the filthy boyf has had me in stitches!!!

I thought it was a moan about leaving dirty underpants on the floor - how wrong was I!

Don't turn me on anymore, please, I'm still all a-flutter from Trog's stern matron act last night!

Have you still not POAnotherS yet?

oh come ON scorps for the love of all things holy just get yersen a CB Digi and get piddling.

ski that comment on FB still has me chuckling. So simple, yet so LOADED with derision

Well cunt, it just seemed so unlike you - publicly displaying emotion et al. Next thing we know you'll be sprinking babyd*st all over your fb page.

Scorps get widdling! I'm so envious of you and your multitude of pee-stick variants. Over here I get CBD, CBnormal or Boots own and they cost a fortune. If I were in the UK I'd be doing a tour of supermarkets and piddling in each and every one!

I gots braaaaahn stuff coming out of me foofoo*! Whassapoint in POAS?! I did anuuver one yesterday, before the braaaaahn stuff and it was neg. Surely braaaaaahn stuff means game over?

CB digi? I can't afford to quite literally piss money away! I bought Boots supercheap teen mum range and begrudged the fiver it cost me for a twinpack [Steptoe emoticon]

And it ain't cos I bin doing stuff like that women in the thread Laurie* mentioned

Scorpette That depends. Are you sure it's your foo-foo and not your bum? Shpunk I believe is the scientific term.

Oh... I've just seen your disclaimer at the bottom haha.

As for lauries thread, I read years ago that that sort of behaviour is perfectly acceptable in yank land - can SarahAbroad confirm? First date material in NYC.

Do teen mums do tests? I thought they just gave birth in mcdonalds toilets or during their English GCSE?

Good point. I was just trying to highlight the sheer bogstandardness of the Boots tests.

Nothing goes into my bottom, let me tell you!

Surely autre-hole brown stuff would require the use of pooh sticks

Where is Sarah these days anyway?

hahaha cunt - those innocent characters will never be the same again I'm afraid.

Wait - Cunt, are you saying that if I throw a twig off a bridge then turn round to see how fast it takes to come out of the other side, it'll tell me if I'm updiffed? How does that work?

(REALLY off to gym now. Ta ra!)

I fail to see how it could be any less scientific than poking your boobs for an hour and a half and then wailing "do they look bigger sweetie?"

How did you know that, ski? I thought I'd got rid of all those hidden cameras you put around our flat!

Well, I'm having no discharge whatsoever now, just the odd bit of 'tar'. I'm going to cling to my delusions of it being an implantation thang until the red, red robin comes bob, bob, bobbin' along.

BTW, I won the MN Judgeypants Lottery just before I got in - a woman walked past me (parallel with me for a while) with a little girl in a pushchair. The girl was chomping on a Greggs sausage roll, had a Fruit Shoot in the other hand and was wearing what I'm 99% sure were vile Lelli Kelly shoes! HAT TRICK!

cor we could set up our very own judgeypants bingo card!

Bit of blood. Game over. Boo Hoo.

Least I can shout HOUSE at the first JP Bingo!

I'd like the giant bottle of pomagne and the slightly grubby cuddly pink hippo, please!

come back when it's a tide, then I'll accept your sad little face

I can go off people, you know...

I'm trying to bully you into feeling more positive! How'm I doin?

Don't give up the day job!

Am also fucked off cos can't access my FB account as it's been saying there's a 'technical site issue' (or some such horseshit) all day

eeek I hope you haven't got any crops that need harvesting...

Sorry for winding you up. A baseball bat to the kidneys should be revenge enough x

I had my judgeypants on earlier, when seeing a child being pushed in her buggy by her father while he smoked and used the word fucking to his companion. Won't be long before that word is being repeated back as she seemed quite chatty.

Unleash the violence. I tested four days early at the suggestion of my keen and curious husband, after he read the CBD leaflet. It was negative, of course.