Mid 30's TTC - you're my BESH mate you are..... <hic hic>

[extremesitting]

OOOh - Hope this'll do! Emergency!

(Psst, ski - have a look at our loony mate in the croissants discussion over on chat...

I am currently not smoking - the longer I remain un-pregnant the more likely I will be reduced to a rage and find myself in a newsagent demanding menthols with menace. HA! I'll teach you a lesson you won't forget BODY!

FYI - I've just had an email from iggy - she thinks she's going a bit mental - but tbh she doesn't sound any different to any of you lot.

wee I just noticed that - the woman is fecking barking - Scorpette and I have assassinated her character by email and have deduced she's suffering from "second wife syndrome" + "Precious first born" - a heady mix I'm sure you'll agree! Also, she's an expat - and I'm sure you've run in to one or two who are just absolutely psychotic - I remember one who drove herself to the point of breakdown because her "foreign floors were too slippy". Btw - I just can't see you in leather - I have you down as this lovely hippy girly type with flowers & plaits - not bike grease across your for'ead and a Harley between your thighs.

Oh bugger, I've missed the group therapy session

I agree with all the others about facefuck, it's all about showing off. Appart from the legendary "onion" pics of course people only put up pics of them / statuses they want to use to make people think they are super cool and ultra gorgeous.

But anyway, it doesn't matter as we palace dwellers know we are super cool and ultra gorgeous so we don't need the vilification of others.

I had my follow up appointment today, and once again the doc was lovely. She doesn't think I have been ovulating, but is also hopeful that as last cycle was only 31 days, perhaps I may be improving, and it does not look like I have PCOS which is something they had thought I may do. Am having day 21 bloodtests next week to see if I have ov'd this month, and also to check my prolactin levels (as have history of raised prolactin). Also she thinks my thyroid does not look normal so is sending me to get that ultrasounded, and then after that I will get referred on to the assisted conception unit.

TGO was a bit shocked, I think he was expecting me to be told that I was totally functioning normally and I was worrying about nothing. Have prepared him for jizz-in-pot scenario to come for him. He doesn't think he will be capable of performing in hospital, so we will also have to do wank-dash.

Lookeelikee, I'm afraid to say, when I met him, TGO looked like Dr Clive Gibbons from Neighbours. Oh lord

you and scorp have been emailing each other and not including us? sob!

BTW, defo not a hippy - at heart maybe but not in dress. Am actually a bit horrified at the idea - it reminds me of a colleague who was a complete hippy and used to take her shoes (flip flops) off at meetings and sit cross legged at the table. I wanted to strangle her - or at least hit her on the head with her skanky flip flop and tell her to act like a professional. (Hmmm... AIBU?!)

I had a huge crush on Dr Clive Gibbons! Sigh!

Cossy - Clive from Neighbours!! Blimey I'd completely forgotten about him! Awww, he was lovely....

Sounds like you went through a lot in your appt, but it does sound like you have a v helpful doc & that there's progress so fingers crossed. Technical qs - what's prolactin and how does your thyroid affect conception?

cosmo your doc sounds lovely and well on top of things. I've got thyroid issues too and suspect have PCOS (due to beard and acne). Not sure what effect it has technically but I think thyroid issues can lead to mcs.

wails; it's not fair and runs out of palace, slamming door. emailing without us? sob.

wee prolactin is a hormone produced in your pituitary gland, it's to do with milk production apparently. thyroid not working properly I think affects hormone levels, so can hinder conception.

Need to google, I think, although that will no doubt result in me finding I have some form of hideous incurable and previously unkown disease.

I've just dared to look elsewhere and noted the mental post. I don't like it out there....

Leaving early for a pedicure - I really do lead a life of frivolity! Have great weekends all!

Cosmosis If it's any comfort I've managed to convince myself I've got ovarian cancer.

When I had dildo cam I was very relieved that the found my ovaries, I was convinced I had none

\O I've just undergone a medical procedure too!

I've had a mole (actually a skin tag as it disappointingly and slightly humiliatingly turned out to be)cryogenically frozen off. And let me tell you - I have a high pain threshold but it fucking hurts cos it's come up as a whopping blister and is right smack bang in the fold of my gut overhang. Jeez this getting older lark is a bag of stinking dog-bobs.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Poor laurie Eggfail is a living hell. I do hope your Nana makes it all better - nothing like a lovely Gran

Incidentally, my Dad thinks I look like Nana Mouskouri.

Talking of lookalikes, I love how we all have hunky sleb-lookalike menfolk... although I notice that only mine looks like a cartoon character (Shaggy) and everyone else's resembles actual human beings. He calls me Scrappy Doo in revenge, cos I'm a bad-tempered midget. He wore a beige fleece on our first date. He never wore it again.

And talking of mens, I feel sorry for them having to do the SIAJ (spunk in a jar) - but then I remember dildocam and all the other horrible things we ladeez sometimes have to go through (like poor chEGGS stuck in hospital) and my sympathy disintegrates. Although TYF would be too shy to SIAJ, even at home, as it would mean people would know something about him (all that Astrology stuff about Scorpios being secretive is clearly guff then ).

Ladies, me and ski couldn't involve you in the emails because we were slagging off the rest of you in them.

Nah, we were just moaning about the bitch who was giving ski grief via the magic of FB messages and saying a few personal things.

Loving punches to trig (avoiding stomach area whilst noting distinct lack of gut), cosmo and vag for their cycle-nightmares, laurie for the evil R2D2, and.... ooh, lots of violence for everyone!

And a special 'pshaw!' punch in the throat to ski who clearly does not have ovarian cancer. Although I'm glad to know am not only one descending into BESH-hypochondria: I've been worrying I was born without eggs and all sorts of insanity.

Are any of you feeling any better yet? With it being tea time on Friday?

Come on everyone!! Get your glad rags on and flip the lid on the gin!! We'll be giving each other big BESHie hugs thumps in no time...

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Trig's gut

Hmm that didn't work

I have decided that I probably don't have ovarian cancer because I've realised that they probably would've mentioned it when I had dildocam - don't you think?

trig you're right - I deserve some gin. Beware - drunken ramblings may follow later.

Scorpette jailbait doesn't look like a famous model/actor type - I don't pay attention to his looks - I just fall in to those green pools he calls eyes...

Ladies, dont want to rake up 'the past' but am doing a drive-by in your thread to congratulate Skihorse and others on their handling of the Maternity Leave thread nonsense (dont even get me started). Ok, as you were...

Ooo ski an external admirer. Nice one honey.

My God she is really loving being queen bee on the croissant thread. And they're all bowing down to it

New girl moved into my office today, so less scope for MNing at work now without having the 'diff plans discovered.

sorry to see so many of you being dragged through the doctor stuff.

See, this is why women should rule the world: men do drive by shootings, women do drive-by compliments'n' gifting! Cheers Honey - you're, erm, a honey!

Good job none of us are getting an invite to Madame OCD's house - as well as her croissant-psychosis, she is also stipulating exactly how to eat salad. I bet her home is a barrel of laughs. My parents used to let us eat soup with our fingers if we wanted to. Bloody hippies

ski - TYF has big green eyes too... mmm... oh damn, don't know if that's FFJ or mere excitement now!

But can she eat a Jaffa Cake properly, I ask?

test, even

I've just escaped from 4 years of living in a French community - believe me - it ain't all that and a bag of croissant flakes!

Thank you honey, aren't you?

I was like this earlier in the year when I met a woman from Alabama - we were at lunch and she was one of these orange monstrosities, married to a lawyer but absolutely no class. She asked "'arv read etiquette books but I can never remember how to eat noodles" - I nearly peed myself.