To TTC or not to TTC, that is the question... as Hamlet sort of said about something else entirely

[CHW]

Hi,
Had few glasses of wine and have spent large part of the evening on this site. I am in two minds about a baby - or really, at the age of 35 (but Type 1 diabetic which can complicate thingss) and really ought to make a decision about whether to have a family or not.
I worry about cost, the changes it will make to our lives and, well, if I am actually just happy as I am. Me and DH discussed going for it, so to speak, sometime after the start of Aug (as did the London Triathlon before then so couldn't before then) and decided we would once the triathlon was out the way. Now it is and we are both stalling. But it is playing on both our minds - in the do we, or don't we way.

My babyometer keeps going haywire - any tips or things for me to also consider which may help us make a decision. I am also wondering if we are simply analysing things too much but beeing diabetic makes things more complicated (ie they need to be planned, in an ideal world at least.) Any help or food for thoughts would be MASSIVELY appreciated!

Ooooh! Did you! Did you see any others? I ask as I only made one public (and would rather none are!)

Thanks for the compliment, by the way. I do like that pic, despite silly face. Generally not very photogenic as have roundish face which doesn't work well in pics.

It is weird isn't it, seeing real people. I thought that when I saw YTD - I got quite excited about it, in all honesty. Am obviously easily amused.

Just seen you confused! You look lovely. All three pics visible. DD's wedding outfit is very cute.

Ha! Must be working. Only had one pic on general view, the rest were for MN mates. Will change big one back. Will try and find some more as they're not on full view. Let me know if any of you change profiles or similar so I too can have a good ol' nose... I like putting faces to the'names' but it also seems really weird. Hard to describe how, but weird all the same.

I saw 3 piccies, including DD!! It's so weird! I'm stupidly excited!! Have to reduce number of exclamation marks!

It's great to see a 'face'. Once I can get on the lap top I will put a piccie up. We can have an amnesty or something, and remove them by an agreed date/time.

The mankyness of the house didn't put me off as much as it was quite small and also manky. I don't mind doing some cosmetic work, but extensions are out of the question.

Have just outed myself some more. A few more piccies should be visible now. I have one availble to all and a few more just for mumsnet mates.

I sympathise re not very good at being centre of attention. The first thing I said when I tried my dress on was "I can't wear this, everyone will look at me"!

An amnesty would be good as still not 100% sure they are only visible to you lot. If I could know for sure it wouldn't be a big deal but I don't want to post on another thread and someone I know then looking by chance at my profile. Do let me know when yours are up too - am now in overdrive trying to work out what you'd look like. Stupidly exciting, indeed. Dear me!

Quite small, housewise, is a totally different kettle of fish. After all, you wouldn't want to have to move again relatively soon (even if there were no DC's in the equation, it's amazing how you can fill a house.) Would it be too much of a push re the lovely house? Maybe it is better to see if anything comes up for a bit less so you don't end up with any financial pressure (or potential pressure.)

Am still thinking about weddingy things. I miss all the planning with mine, especially the first few months afterwards. In some ways I'd like to do it all again although it was impossible to relax until at least 10pm on the actual day. We had booked somewhere from the Friday to the Monday so our wedding was actually a long weekend - I preferred it that way as one day would have been over far too quickly. The place was self catering too - although we got caterers in - so it was more like having an amazing self catering cottage to ourselves, and the 20 people who also stayed there.

Anyway, getting sidetracked. Might be better to keep thoughts to myself instead of rambling on.

Keep those photo's coming!!

YTD Thanks - will look now! Back in a sec

I am stupidly excited about seeing you all. Just had a friend on the phone and was hastening the conversation cos I wanted to see if confused had more piccies up (and you have - love the one of you and DH dancing - you both look so happy).

HP, I too think you just click with a house. i would also strongly counsel against getting one which needs a load of work doing. Seems a good idea at the time but is hard work and does become a bit all consuming. If you find a house you love that doesn't need work then go for that, cos then you can start living in it straight away.

You love the house with the nursery eh?

I still maintain that the first BFP on this thread...

YTD - MY GOD, THAT DRESS! I think it comes across better in the more recent pics than it did in the first two. I didn't fancy a big dress myself (think they are better suited to church weddings and ours was in a fort) but think they can look stunning - but do think you get what you pay for too. A cheaper version of that style wouldn't have had half the wow effect that yours has. Beautiful!

Am now wondering what other pics to put up. As it's (I think) for our eyes only, I find some of me and DH in Cambodia - there's a limit to the one's I have on this machine you see.

I second that the first BFP on this thread...

Quick post as am just about to get ready to go out (meal round friends).

Loving all your pics!!!

I will try and get on the lap top tomorrow morning. Hmmm. Might be tricky as DH looks after all the digital piccies as he is a bit of a amateur photographer, so will have to hunt some out.

Regards my appearance, well, I'm impossibly glamerous, some say I remind them of a young Bardot.....sorry, I can't keep that going with a straight face. I'm the opposite of that, dark haired and studious looking. I'll chuck a piccie up tomorrow.

confused - keep rambling - you have an attentive audience.

I think an amesty is probably a good idea. I don't want pictures that are obviously me being available. Might make me less inclined to comment on some threads! (Not that these are very representative, my wedding day look is not one I use often!).

Lol at Honeypetal the young Bardot.

Seriously girls, BFP? Moi?

Tell me about your wedding, YTD

Am uploading more as we 'speak.' I need to get some off the other machine I think as I am grasping at straws a bit now. I'll end up getting carried away ('this is my Grandma, this is my house, this is my mum aged 4 etc.)

I think the image I have of HP is similar to what she described but possibly less dark. It's the scientist bit that did it!

Yes, HP, YOU!

Oh yes, yessy, yes!

Thanks Confused. You do get what you pay for. This one was actually the cheapest dress in the shop (but it was a caroline castigliano shop!) and the only one with slevees (gosh, they were difficult to come by) and I wouldn't have even gone in there if it wasn't for the fact that my best mate had just ordered hers from there, so I felt like I knew the shop assistants! You're right, when I tried on the 500ish quid dress, they just felt so shoddy in comparison. In the end I figured that if you were going to spend 100s on a dress for one day, then you may a well spend a few more 100s and get a dress that felt fantastic.

And I always knew we'd have a big church wedding, cos I have a huge (very close) family and the church that I went to when we got married (have moved since then) was a big C of E church, so a big white frock was always a valid option. Just didn't expect to get one so big.

Your wedding sounds fab. I love the idea of having a wedding weekend. I felt a bit bereft after all the wedding planning finished, but we were in the process of buying our new house at the same time, so I had plenty of other planning to do.

Is that a kitten you are cuddling in the bottom picture? Imagine a similar smiley happy picture with a DC in place of the kitten?

My mental image of HP is definately brunette. And wearing lab goggles.

And possibly pushing a pram...

It's all in the boning and the fabric - cheaper one's are cheaper for a reason (this is not meant to sound snobby, by the way, I realise that £1000's for a dress is close to madness and not everyone can do it - this is written as don't want to offend any other possible readers!) If I had had to shop for mine I think I would have been the same - thinking sod it, and paying over budget. I love the Jenny Packham one's so mine was loosely based on that kind of style. It doesn't show in the pics, but mine was actually beaded in 1000's (my poor mother!) lightly coloured beads and swarovski crystals so it kind of shimmered. Just the fabric and beading for mine cost £500 so I dread to think what it would have cost if I had commissioned someone to make it!

Big white frocks are perfect for church weddings. I can see why you went for it!

I was most bereft after it was all over, and we didn't really have any big plans for after either to distract us. The wedding weekend was almost better on the Friday when we all got there and spent hours doing up the fort, and the Sunday where we spent it chilling out eating wedding cake (which was cheese!) than the day itself. Not that I didn't enjoy the day, but it was very hard to both have a conversation with anyone and switch off. I have likened it to hosting a party - that can be stressful - but then imagining that the people have travelled from all over the country (wedding was in Cornwall, convenient to noone) and have an age range of 15 to 86.

Yes, it is a kitten. I have 100's of pics of me with various animals of varying degree's of scabbiness around the world. A similar pic of me and a baby? You know, I am not sure at this precise moment but if you ask me in two hours I may well have changed my mind!

at HP and the pram. Goes without saying, surely?

I know this is a terrible thing to say, but I'm a bit gutted to be going out, would much rather stay on the warm and chat!!

Wish I could write more, but here are the brief notes:

Kittens - now you are talking!

Wedding - loved our big day, best day of my life. The planning was great, had it in home town for convienience of families. Loved my dress, fell in love with it straight away.

Me - am falling around laughing! Have very dark hair and eyes, pale skin. Bit like a vampire! Wear glasses mostly but wore contacts on wedding day. Often in lab coat and safety specs as handle blood (god, someone wouldn't need to see my photos to identify HP!!)

BFP - you crazy kids! I'm still rooting for a YTD/LST double BFP in the spring. Although a tiny mini-scientist HP would be pretty cute....

Maybe we don't need to see the piccy of your grandma confused, but I think you should share a picture of your kitchen.

Your wedding sounds just fab. You'll have to find a close up of the bead so we can see and marvel at your mum's handiwork. If it was £500 for the materials then it would have been scarey sums if made by someone else. Did you mother enjoy doing it?

It was the boning in mine that made me decide to blow the budget and get it. After I realised that 500 quid got you a cheap wedding dress (in my book 500 quid is not a cheap frock!) I decided that I may as well push the boat out and get the one I loved. If I'd have had a budget that wasn't extendable, I'd have probably looked for a good dress second hand. It is a bit snobby I suppose, but theres no way I was going to spend 500 quid on polyester!

You're right, weddings are like hosting a party and you don't really have time to relax during the day. We were so busy circulating and making sure we spoke to everyone. We had the reception on a farm (which was unlicensed so we did BYO - the savings on the booze budget went on the frock!) and during the photos and drinks reception, most of our guests were playing on the swings / trampoline or looking at the animmals or helping themselves from the free bar. We never really got a chance to play in the way that our guests did.

HP I too am going out for a meal with friends, so am going to have to drag myself away soon.

Re BFP, I am prepared to wait. LST should be first cos she's been waiting longest, then HP cos thread narrative demands it.

I'm really taken by the picture of little HP, in mini labcoat and FisherPrice petri dish.

Only just read these last two posts as been cooking dinner. Am now dying to see the pics of HP's wedding! Supposed to be going out shortly to the supermarket with DH so if this suddenly stops, that's why. I am much more of the mindset where it would be nicer to stay in in the warm and 'chat' so am hoping he goes off the idea.

Yes, HP, I think you would have blown your over. This makes me feel better as it's bloody obvious who I am too by previous posts but I am hoping that not many people would look too much on this (plus, most of the people I know who'd potentially be on this site are unlikely to be in the Conception threads.)

I don't have any proper pics of our kitchen. Actually, perhaps I do but not since we've done the floor - I'll see what I can rustle up as it's only for a day or so. We did have a very drunken, family free, Christmas a few years ago where there were 7 of us dancing on the table at various points. Will see if they show any kitchen as opposed to just drunken people.

Yes, LST should bee first, with YTD a close second. Third? Ha! I don't even need to say it!

Ooops - I meant 'blown your COVER!'

Was puzzled for a minute then. Imagining Confused conjuring strong winds to blow HP over.

I have to leave now and go and be sociable in RL. been lovely talking to you. HP I expect to see wedding photos tomorrow.

Have a lovely evening ladies. Will ctach up tomorrow.