Mid 30's TTC - you're my BESH mate you are..... <hic>

[triggerhappybaby]

We've taken delivery of a fine new sofa. Come and rest here

Ski I am filling out sprogette's application to Harvard right now while wearing a Moschino g-string on my head, so too busy to answer the question about aspirational parents.

Ay heff jest been to Covent Gaaaaarden for luncheon weth an old frind. Hew posh em ay?

back at th'office now tho innit

Spooky trog - you must have passed very close to where I am right now. Did you get an uncontrollable urge to drink gin?

nearly - Retsina because we went to the Real Greek. I thought I saw someone who looked very much like extreme whilst I was in M&S - I was going to yodel a cheery hello but then I thunk again. Nobody wants to be outed as a secret wannabe womb-renter by some brash northerner with an ill-considered skirt on

donttry Mein gott! I didn't even know g-strings were for my head, does the string ride your parting with a leg hooked over each ear? Or do you scrunch it up and use it as a post-modernist scrunchie?

@ 'ill-considered skirt'

you're not my boss are you trig?

I used to work in Cov Gdn... is nice. Lunch options in current office location CONSIDERABLY less exotic...

I have a link for us all to enjoy:

Tiger lillies - Gin

I has seen this live - which is better - but you get the idea from the vid...

OK, now I'm really hoping I'm NOT your boss...

Nah - you're not - i seen you on facebum

Bet your skirt is far less ill considered - esp since she is over 50.. and you aren't

I work near Covent Garden - will keep an eagle eye out for fagash dressinggowned and retsina-stained skirted BESHs. And OUT Y"ALL

Ski of course! And the label should be positioned centre-forehead - no-one can see it if it's stuck up yer bumcrack,

No, and in fairness the person who could have made such an observation from my office.... well put it this way, it would be a cold day in hell before I took satorial tips from her

donttry will keep well away from cov gdn then

Oooh, I always go daaaahn Covent Garden if I go to Landan for a shopping sojourn. I'm going to stand outside the tube station cradling one of those 'reborn' realistic baby dolls, yelling 'BESSSSSHHHHHHH!' at women I think might be you lot.

Well, I'm bored of bellowing in the street like a loon at strangers where I live.

Looking at the construction of that sentence makes my English n Writing degree aaaall worth it.

Ooooh, ski did you say you got a faint positive when you PedOAS? Arrrrgh, I hope it really is one

don'ttry I just hope baby is as classy as his/her mama..

Gah, why am I not ovulating yet?

Scorpette I did actually see a very faint line when he dragged me back upstairs - but I won't buy it until I have a placenta in a frying pan. I was working from home today and collapsed on the couch at half five and had an hour's nap - jailbait says I'm pale. I thought I felt cramps when I was stretching out but it's probably just my body teasing me. Thankfully I have an incredibly busy day at work tomorrow so I won't be worrying about it too much.

My manager has asked me to stand in for her in september when she's on holiday which I'm really thrilled about - she knows I'm TTC and yet I've not been thrown on the "useless twonk" pile yet!

Where are you in your cycle Scorpette?

I used to love hanging out in Covent Garden... until I heard too many people sneering about tourists. The last time I was there... 2001 ? I sat outside the theatre one summer lunchtime with my evil-ex eating spag bol and people-watching. I am a toureeeest.

But what kind of skirt were you wearing?

Not when you POAsed, when you were in Convent Garden

tooth-loosening for good luck... how many tests left in the box??

Just the one left - and I can't get cheapies over here. Cheapest I've found is 2 for 11 euros! I really need to get my arse in gear and get some internet cheapiers - although jailbait would never trust those anyway. Bah.

Thanks for the punch - we've lost the violence around here of late.

@Ski - day 13. TYF still feeling too tired for sex and asked if we could wait till the weekend. I fixed him with a gaze that could be classified as a WOMD and told him that sexual congress WILL be happening tonight. And tomorrow. AND the weekend as well. I also told him he could wake me up for sex at 7am tomorrow if he'd prefer that than waiting till after work. 'But you'll not wake up' he laughed. 'Well, just do it to me anyway - if assaulting me in my sleep is what it takes, so be it' (disclaimer to trawling Daily Mail scum: this is what is called a joke - I am not actually condoning spousal rape). What's worse, is that I actually meant it. Anyway, I've given him 12p in loose change and that seems to have changed his mind (that and me blubbering about ovulation and so forth)

Have gone mental today - have convinced myself I won't be able to have kids and was brimming up with tears on bus (as I have raging hayfever, it was easy to disguise).

ski - POAS! POAS!

I go straight to the shops when in our nation's glorious capital (and such other bollocks) - none of this eating and relaxing malarkey for me, just pure, hard fashion madness. I love clothes and make-up: surely this makes me ideal for being the mother of small children?

Scorpette My mother spent her 20s in Carnaby street - it meant that whilst she was an utter self-obsessed bitch - we had the best dressing-up box evah! I often cheer jailbait up with some loose change and a batman cloak or something fun like that. "Do it to me anyway" hur hur - this TTC lark is romantic isn't it?

I will POAS again at the weekend - it's just I can't bear a stupid negative - it's like you're doing the DM's work for them or something.

I'm stalking extremesitting on fb - for some reason she's terribly familiar...

Whilst on the other hand, my Mum gave away all her 60s gear, incl. yer gen-u-ine Biba and Mary Quant stuff (AND a pair of see-thru plastic Courreges boots - WHHHHY, for the love of God would you give them away?) but she was/is a selfless martyr sweetie of a mum, I have to give her that (I'm forgetting her crazy temper deliberately here).

Re: TTC - yeah, I've gone from playful, saucy minx to weeping, obsessed lunatic in less than 2 months. Luckily, I can't see how that would put a man off

I'm going to give everyone a good stalk on FB now

Just popping in for a round of tequila slammers...

Have decided I can't face rejoining fb despite a desperate urge to stalk befriend you all.am quite gutted,but it was becoming a messy place for me,too many links to the ex,and much worse than that I had a friend request from someone who had an unbelievably bad impact on my life....I was really shaken and still can't quite believe it happened.

So,ho hum I can't join in.and I hate not being able to join in. But we still have the palace,eh?

ski how long after you poas did it come up +? and could you both see it without having to get just the right light etc?

right,now a proper bodily secretions question.anyone paid enough attention to their fj to know what's normal post-ov? I'm convinced mine was last like this when I was pg,but then as I'm deluding myself that I am pg that is to be expected I guess.

I can't bring myself to go on about it only to get RTOD in time for bank hol weekend,but some funny old things have been going on.if I really AM pg tho,it won't be ling til I know for sure as I usually have very very strong symptoms (last 2)

at the mo am inhaling deeply when I walk past anyone smoking a fag to see if I throw up on them.

Oh, sorry 'bout those teeth, Gin

Walking... past... smokers to see... if you... spew on them? How come we do things when TTC that'd have us sectioned instantly if we were doing them for any other reason?

As for your FJ qu, well, mine goes a bit 'normal but sticky' (but gluey, not as wet as FFJ).

I can't quite believe I'm sharing this.

Talking of FFJ, I've had my first sign of it this cycle tonight! WooHoo! TYF is duly bow-legged...

gin just register as A.N.Other and join us as a chum. You don't have to use your real name. Hell since nobody in RL will know who you are to search you out you could call yourself anything you like. Ms G Palace? Ms B. Esh? We will know who you are!!!

I have no ffj at all (another indication of current barrenness) so am unable to help.

Karate kicks to all.

Cosmo - I think you shitted it all out in that pic we saw What is the vaginal equivalent of shitting, anyway? Expelling?

Try preseed - I can confirm it is good. But don't do what I do; have the applicator stuck deep where the sun don't shine and THEN suddenly see on the instructions it says 'these applicators are not sterile'. Magic. They were all packaged hygienically and ting, so I just resumed they would be super-clean and all that but now I've probably made myself infertile using fertility friendly lube. Erm?

BTW: Don't make me get my nunchucks out... !

Yeah, gin, just register anonymously and set your privacy to 'crazed conspiracy theorist' settings (that's what mine are on) so no-one can so much as psychically intuit your fake id exists. It's not you we're interested in anyway, just many, MANY pictures of Mani (or would that be mani pictures, hoho). Think of it as a fertility service - his cheeky chops are a one-man (boy) ovary de-shriveller!