Mid 30's TTC - you're my BESH mate you are..... <hic>

[triggerhappybaby]

We've taken delivery of a fine new sofa. Come and rest here

also vote for 2WOOFL

like it.

I haven't befriended any except ski so she could see my horse on facebook - cos I am new and didn't want to scare you all too early on

bessie why wouldn't you be able to eat hollandaise sauce?! Is cooked innit? Anyway - I fort red lion stamped eggs ok... but I have shit track record with being updiffed so don't listen to me

Excellent news. I will start stalking you all on cracked faces very soon!

OH has to SIAC this day next week. I am nervous abut it. I chose him for his tight buns suitability for fatherhood so would be gutted if his little swimmers were lazy. Will be glad when its out of the way though 'cause my GP won't do any more for us until this test is out of the way. We have waited 3 months for the test. Can't imagine him fumbling over grot mag. More likely to be excited by the tool station catalogue

Bloody strike out!

iggypiggy - hollandaise sauce has raw(ish) eggs in it so it is norty.

Bessie Hollandaise is lovely... actually eggs benedict my all time fave breakfast

I had eggs florentine, it was delicious

Yo yo yo! Scorpette is in da hizzouse! Erm, are we still being down wid da yoof now or can I go back to being 36 yr old Guardian reader now?

Ski REALLY hope for you it's an implantation bleed The puking sounds promising... unless it's merely a reflection of his or your driving (you didn't say who was at the wheel)

Iggy and Cosmo So glad I am not the only potential kidnapper prowling round in massive judgypants, obsessed with other women who are clearly not good enough to be mothers, etc. Ahem. I have developed a crazylady twitchy eye which starts going haywire when I see anyone being a crap parent or a smoking pregnant woman, etc. As I use only use public transport, which seems to be a magnet for slaggy teens yelling at or ignoring their dirty kids who are drinking diet coke out of a baby beaker, etc., etc., this is quite a problem

Extreme I watched that binge drinking show too. At several points I almost tried to bitchslap the little cow through the tv screen. If seeing adorable kiddiwinks boosts our aged ovaries, does seeing little bastards like her shrivel them even further? Hmmm Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand breathe.
BTW, don't put off TTC! Bah, you career-obsessed 30-something women sicken me!
What happened there? BTW, I also have the Facebook paranoia. But am generally unbalanced, as my posts here show

Well, I am on OvWatch this week. Keep having massive panics that I stopped ovulating earlier this year as was last time saw proper FFJ. What if ovaries have internal switch-off date? I am bonkers. Keep looking for signs and portents in every crappy thing ('if I do this, will it mean I ovulate? If X happens, will it mean I don't?', etc.). Have gone from Militant Atheist to crazily superstitious medieval peasant in less than 6 weeks of TTC. Will probably be sacrificing goats to Satan before the end of September

blimey. it's all kicked off in here.

fights and facebook and pictures and everything.

glad to see you are all gorgeous and normal and not weird internet freaks

anyway just a quickie. sitting in a hotel in barca having an emergency googling session as over the last few days stomach has exploded to the size of a football and is absolutely killing me.

think i'm having over stimulated ovary syndrome so just waiting for doctor to call me back to tell if i'm gonna die or not.

that'll learn me for saying this IVF malarky is a walk in the park

oooh. he's just called. don't think i'm gonna die, but have to go for ultrasound. my lover has never even been to barcelona before (got here last night and not got further than the square outside the hotel) not much of a first time for him

don't feel in the least bit pregnant either. aren't you supposed to feel them burrowing in or something??

am questioning the wisdom of coming on trip now instead of laying in bed like lady muck for 2 weeks instead

on the plus side though - three of the slow coach embryos managed to develop properly in the meantime so we've got 3 more in the freezer should this fail.

oh and p.s anyone any good at spanish fertilty vocab?

not sure the ability to order some cheese and wine will help with things today

Bessie DM changed the rules last week anyway and so it appears you were sailing perilously close to the wind at 29. Shame on you, you BESH!

extremesitting I explained to jailbait that basically he would be asked to wank and there were loads of nurses in uniforms and he wouldn't get arrested. It's a wet dream right? As for any maternity benefits - I'm sure you'd find a way to survive on bollocks all money for a few months. Surely a baybeeeee is worth it?

Oooh spooky psychic internet connection. See up there or down there (which ever way you have it) I was only thinking of you yesterday.

Well Skihorse, like you say, I was obviously very lucky last time... shame on me for not being a teen mum. The annoying thing is I got pregnant by accident last time, it was so easy, and I just expected it would be this time. I didn't know it wouldn't happen so easily.

Ooo fuck chEGGS hope you okay mate

as far as 'burrowing' goes I didn't feel anything like that.and I think mostly you don't really,tho some people have implantation cramps and/or bleeding.in fact ski may have just had da bleed.

Remember if you're worrying about that,it's fuckin small.

Hope the explody belly feels much much better.take it easy duuuude

cheggers I only ever learned the Spanish for "fancy a jump?" I hope everything is going well - surely the bloating is a good sign and that's great news about the 3 stragglers.

Scorpette I drive, jailbait doesn't have a license but claims to be a "very good driver" - however whenever anyone says they're a very good driver I picture Raymond Babbit. Are your cycles regular? My doc told me that a good sign was being regular. Don't forget we're shagging teenagers too which has got to help.

boo, i am not shagging a teenager. But I have bought oh some zinc tablets (which he keeps 'forgetting' to take)

Ski yeah, my cycles are v regular, which I know is a v good sign. But if the eggs are hiding and refusing to come out, my cradlesnatching counts fer nuffink

chEGGS that sounds painful - hope it gets better soon and all will be good news I know that 'dolores' means pain, if that helps

I just burnt my thumb by taking hold of a red hot frying pan. Why am I such a colossal twat? OWWWWW!

Erm, I think I just accidentally invited my dad for Christmas. I only asked for his Christmas Pudding recipe.

Whoopsie, Cosmo! Start talking about your plans-that-don't-include-him quick before the idea sticks!

why don't you want your dad there for christmas, Cosmo?

too much stress. I love my dad and all, but him and DH don't get on as well as I'd like and I just think it'd all be a bit much.

well stress is just what you don't need right now. Hope you manage to wriggle out of it

Jeez cheggs, hope you are okay!

I've just got back from a lovely weekend of extreme drinking and generally being naughty.

Oh god me too extreme, I had a birthday party and a hen night this weekend and am feeling rough!

Ski I am going to be in Amsterdam this autumn as DH is doing the marathon - can I hassle you for restaurant recommendations?

Scorps if you are going to sacrifice goats can I recommend offering them to a fertility god such as Dionysus rather than Satan, I don't think Satan "does" conception.

ps ChEGGers - how are you feeling now?