Mid 30's TTC - you're my BESH mate you are..... <hic>

[triggerhappybaby]

We've taken delivery of a fine new sofa. Come and rest here

Howdy - d'you like my new look? Awful isn't it? I weep when I look at my now redundant Agent Provocateur naughties, sniff.

Anyhoo, guess who fell off her bike yesterday? Pedestrians in Brizzle are utter tossers who don't think bikes get to share big wide pedestian spaces - it's a cycling city for god's sake! I've been panicking like a right wally ever since cos I must have pulled about 10 muscles in my stomach, and the associated stomach pains had me frantic about miscarrying all night. Anyway, mini-nocoffee has stayed put so far and big-nocoffee is more relaxed, albeit feels like she's been 10 rounds with Tyson. Bring on the weekend... and if I ever see that selfish c-unit of a jogger I will insert my bike into her rectally.

nocooffee nice boulder holder!didn't realise you're in brizzle too...wasn't me wot walked into yer bike tho...

beshie how old's yours?what flavour,boy or girl?

Ummm am prob mad re the diffing.thanks all for not saying so.

Nocoffee - hope you and mini coffee (Espresso?) are okay

You can get Agent Provocateur maternity shizzle too, you know: www.agentprovocateur.com/search.php?Query=maternity
Though I think they're for nursing rather than pg support.

And Hot Milk is a brand specialising in luxe undies for updiffed minxes like yourself
I found some here: www.zodee.co.uk/womens/hotmilk/?partner=google&gclid=CLj_lPH2o5wCFU0A4wodcgPrjw

Hope you likey - you deserve to treat yourself after that upset

Anyway, don't worry - we all still fancy you in your giant materna-titty bra [pervy lesbotic leer]

Scorpette I know what you mean - I really wanted to dislike the borderline peado but he actually came across as quite sweet! (?)

I'm just home from the stables and just about to offer jailbait hot sex (I may even shower! ) if he fetches me a large G&T.

coffee I hope you're OK, people are such wankers - I was riding down a farm lane today and some arsehole in a landy came so close I could actually put my foot physically through his window! I always think if a car is so close I can kick the bodywork (deliberately) then they're too close!

I ordered a hot milk bra when pg. It looked shit. Sent it back.

I'm one of those women that just doesn't feel sexy when pg. I feel like a nauseous house.

The bras I fell in love with were un glam ,but seamless and soooo comfortable on my giant norks that I nearly kissed the lady in the shop.

Espresso - I love it Scorp! And Gin, so far I'm with you, if it's seamless and totally supportive I'm in there. This comes from the girl whose pre-updiffedness bras are half- or quarter-cup frilly, lacy, balconnetty nonsense. You would not credit the look on DH's face when I flashed my M&S maternity bra, needless to say I went straight out and replaced it for something a little less like infrastructure for a supertanker. Can't believe how quickly my titties have expanded...

Yes, I have (appropriately enough) proper Bristols now. Might see y'around Gin, I'm the frustrated looking ex-cyclist, now walking everywhere.

Ski - alternative road users of the world unite! You should have put your foot in there just to make the point. Apparently one of my first oft repeated words was 'bitch', after a range rover driver forced my mum to drive into the ditch with me in the back. Mum's gift us so much don't they?

Sorry, 'mums gift us', terrible grammar...

U2 rock - seriously top concert!! They were fab!! Crowd were a bit... how can I put it... a collection of people of a certain age and there were quite a few U2 geeks with their WAR t-shirts and squabbling over which album was better.

I am however knackered and equally sad as I was very pleased to have a seat! Plus I have just had a shower etc and blown my nose to find that marvelous stuff you can only get in Laaadddonn is Black Snot. Great.

Dontry - and I'm teeeellllinnn!!

Ski - loving the fact that you might even shower for sexytime with your Jailbait; you're almost as classy and sensuous a lover as I am

Ladies, there is only one way to learn how to be the boss of the road when on a bike and that is go cycling in Amsterdam for a few days or more (sure Ski will be with me on how we should all learn the Dutch way of cycling etiquette). My brother lives there and taught me that all bikes have right of way at all times, and even if they're wrong, other vehicles have to give way for them because it's only logical that the big killer metal box can do more damage than the meat sack on 2 wheels. And if pedestrians get mown down by a cyclist then it's their own stupid fault for not looking where they're going. He also taught me that you if vehicles get too close, you should kick them (or get the person having a 'backy' off you on the back of the bike to kick them, as is usual in NL) or punch the top of the car or just generally remonstrate with them in an unreasonable manner. I dunno if it's that's all 'legal' but everyone does it and me and TYF do when we go over and now I act like that whilst cycling over here. Mind you, I am an arsey nutter anyway. Yet another thing the Dutch get right (Gawd, I want one of those bakfiets!) babyccino.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/bakfiets_nl-cargobike-long-420.jpg

Nocoffee apparently the BOC is well-insulated and safe in there so you'll be grand missus.

I thought the statutory rapist (trouble with girls) was kind of cute ...oh no I said that out loud again didn't I...

me too

Me too!

Though it might be because we are horny old BESHes and he's the sort of wrong 'un who only has to so much as look at you naughtily and you're having triplets

He had a real twinkle in his eye.

I wish it had been my twinkle

Scorpette My god yes, over here the cyclist is king! If you hit a cyclist you are in a LOT of trouble - red lights do not apply to cyclists never mind the lesser traffic rules. I'd love to know how Dutch women learn to cycle whilst smoking a ciggie AND being on their mobile - it's pretty damned clever!

Well I've had a busy day, I was jumping my horse this morning and decided to go skiing this afternoon but got bored quickly so ended up in the terrain park with the teenagers . I had so much fun though.

NeedChoos I'm sorry to hear your doctor was so "Daily Mail" at you.

Ski - nothing much about Amsterdam shocks me anymore, but I was in awe last year when I saw a heavily pregnant woman on a bike, with a toddler balancing on the handlebars, a puppy and lots of shopping in the front basket and a little girl perched on the back pannier, whilst the woman ate a choc ice, and managed a conversation between her friend cycling next to her and someone she was speaking to on a mobile... now that's multi-tasking!

Choos at your Doc. When she gave you the whole BOD spiel, did you feel like saying 'yeah, no shit, Sherlock'? Did she then proceed to get an ink pad out of her drawer and stamp 'BESH' in giant red letters across your file? (I know it's all computerised nowadays, but I'm not letting that get in the way of my quip)

BTW, you seem to have transmitted your pantyprobs over the interwebnets - have had painful, achey bladder and needing a wee every 5 mins all day Might be that I didn't drink enough this week, as always get killer water retention during RTOD and forget to drink as much water as usual. Of course, it goes without saying that this next week is SWI week (I'm taking no chances re: ovulation) and what could be more better for a hurty urethra than daily sex?

Scorpette Btw, I love those cargo bikes. I have an american friend here who has a "rickshaw" type contraption for ferrying his three boys around. He takes no other exercise than running the boys to school/supermarket yet is so incredibly fit that he's been entering athletics competisions AND winning! You can get cargo bikes with "doggy equipment", so they'll be enclosed and have a window - or you'll even just see the dogs in the basket. I've seen people go on holiday with mini-trailer type things being hauled around. I love it when you see a variety of children on the bicycles AND shopping. But it pays off... there are a LOT of pensioners on bikes which I think is wonderful rather than sitting in front of the telly waiting to die. The kids cycle to school and maybe it's more difficult for the pedlos to grab them AND the bike... Gosh, what a lot of words about bicycles!

The only symptom I have right now is sore boobs, but I think this is because I fell off the rail at the terrainpark (snow dome) - hanging out viz zer kids indeed.

Dude, that sounds gnarly

Yeah, I love all the different bikes you get over in NL. We go to Amsterdam every year (except this summer, cos my bro split up with his gf ) and every time, I bore TYF senseless about wanting a big cargo bike with 3 adorable sprogs and a jaunty little dog in front. I think it's all the cycling and walking up so many stairs that keep the Dutch fit! The 'Dam is where I've always wanted to live (and now TYF does too) - that or Brighton. My bro only lives in Amsterdam cos I planned to move there from my teens onwards, and he got really into all the stuff I showed him... aaaaand then I got ill and it's never happened for me but he's lived there for nearly 10 yrs, Grrrrrrrr. Godverdomme! BTW, I can speak some Dutch. Or, Ik spreek een klein beetje Nederlands. Annoys me when I speak Dutch to people in shops and they just keep replying to me in English! I speak enough to find this funny: KLOOTVIOOL! (And yes, I do know what the car's name means!)

Sorry for other BESHes who find this Dutch talk zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Waaaaah, wish I was in Amsterdam now. Those kids in their parents' bike baskets practically make my eggs self-fertilise!

Some of you may remember I wrote a few weeks ago of women "boasting" of how little weight they've put on during pregnancy. In once instance I spoke of a woman who'd put on 8lbs at full-term. She's just announced the birth, emergency c-section due to baby's heartbeat dropping, jaundiced baby and underweight baby. Still, at least she's slim. For the record, baby came in at 6lbs and was a couple of weeks overdue...

I am feeling very today and wondering if I will ever get pregnant or whether I just need to move on with my life and open a cat rescue centre.

PS On the subject of eggs, I've bought some Agnus Castus as it's meant to help stimulate ovulation and so on. If nothing else, it'll help RTOD agony if and when it comes.

We were considering moving to Amsterdam next year actually but right now don't know where we'll end up - I'm actually also considering Edinburgh. I live in the south of the country so I have a very strange Dutch accent and when I was in the north the other week people kept speaking German to me!

I'm getting to the point where I'm almost prepared to buy Clomid on the net.

Try Agnus Castus - I was googling 'natural alternatives to Clomid' and similar and everywhere seems to recommend A C - regulates one's cycle, doncha know. I couldn't take Clomid or owt* or have IVF cos of my rubbish health issues, so that just adds an extra layer of fear to my worries.

Move to Amsterdam so I can stalk you and my brother (although I guess I don't have to actually stalk my own sibling)! My Dutch teacher was from the South and got really annoyed that I had a slight Amsterdam accent from being there so often and already talking a bit of Dutch but his accent sounded too soft to me; his 'g' and 'ch' sounds didn't sound like he was hacking up gallons of thick, infected phlegm, which is the Amsterdam style. If you can't pronounce 'gracht' without sounding like you're going to cough up a lung, then, frankly, you're not saying it right.

There's only one thing I don't like about NL: Zwarte Piet. I shall say nothing else on the subject I get the arguments, but still:

*Owt means anything, to any non-Northerners who might be confused Yer soft southern shites!

The "problem" is that there appears to be "no problem". I am having textbook ovulation. So actually stimulating ovulation isn't going to improve what I have. But something is going wrong between manfat and implantation.

Well, if you read that link I posted the other day about the 'healer' Adam Kadir-Buxton, you'd know that he often finds pen tops, ball bearings and lemonade blocking the fallopian tubes, so maybe that's your problem.

Yes, he really says that.

On a serious note though, it might indeed be an implantation prob - I'm convinced that's what happened to me last month (all those symptoms and was even sick and nauseous... and then suddenly they went off @ the time that would've been implantation and then RTOD signs kicked in). There's so many tiny things that can go wrong that it drives you truly mental. Maybe it's the spunk; make jailbait live lifestyle of a saint - no smoking, drinking, caffeine, junkfood and so on? We can but keep on trying - have told TYF that he's got to shag me everyday next week whether he likes it or not (or whether I like it or not). I said 'we've got plenty of time to actually enjoy sex again once I'm pregnant'. He didn't seem too unhappy with the prospect - the fool seems to think I'm attractive for some reason

at the mass fancying of paedos.

I second the vote to move to Holland. Lets all go! We already know all the lingo we need - zwanger/niet zwanger.

I'm going to get arrested and/or have a hernia if I flick the finger at one more motorist (and really they are quite considerate around here). The pedestrians on the cycle paths are another matter mind.

ski step away from the Clomid - you know you're working fine. Just repeat -"it is NORMAL to take up to two years to get up-diffed". And you have already been up-diffed - twill happen again.