The Hut of Gl/Doom... Please don't ask about our reproductive plans as a smack round the head with TCOYF often offends

[OracleInaCoracle]

new thread.

for those who are having problems getting pg

or staying pg

or are simply fed up of being told to relax and having to smile and say "you never know"

not mad at all. we have a rose bush that we planted for them all, but this last mc has knocked me so hard i dont know how to cope. my hormones are still messed up, im still so tired. we go to see cons on 4th dec and i know he will tell us to stop. maybe we should.

Lissie - big hugs to you I know how tough it is, hope your consultant appointment is good, have you got anything nice planned in the meantime? I think you deserve a treat and some 'me time'. As for your colleague I can't believe the justice of it all!!! I had to work with patients who had taken so many hard drugs and then injured themselves and still had beautiful babies when I had my MC it was heartbreaking and really made me wonder about karma. I changed jobs as I couldn't be nice. I can't believe that she is moaning and groaning around you. Maybe she will get a baby who doesn't like to sleep!! she might also stuggle to loose the baby bump! It's the small things that I hope for now!!!

rainbow I agree I think it's good to name them and acknowledge lost babies, I had such a strong feeling that my last baby was a boy and still picture him in my mind. I too have completely pigged out today, got home from work and demolished an Indian takeaway! Now starting on some halloween chocolates

Shrekmissus Happy Birthday congratulations!! 30 sounds very young to me (I'm 34 now) I can totally understand about the testing, I've crossed my fingers for the weekend for you, we need a BFP around here!!!

First off - drinks for everyone.

lissielou Your colleague sounds absolutely vile - just how can she still do that? Now, I'd like to think I'm old and wise enough to know that people are going to smoke & drink. But you'd do it in the garage right? And you would never, ever, EVER admit to it!

I'm sorry to hear about your nightmares... I was lucky - I dreamt I met my mc when he was a grown man (23 years old). It gave me some peace - it'll sound bonkers - but it just felt like he'd grown up somewhere else but that he was fine.

Downside - if he was 23 that means I'm going to be bloody well dead in 23.5 years time. Arse.

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Oh Shreks, so sorry . Am sending you a lovely bottle of wine, and a box of thorntons. And I hope you managed to have a good birthday. 30 is fab, I loved it. I am 38 now and the ticking of my clock is practically deafening, its v depressing.

Hello to skihorse and snazzy. And Lissie, hugs for you. I can't imagine what you are going through at the moment.

Well I should be ovulating this weekend and guess what we're doing? Going to London for our first weekend away without DD... sounds great, yes? Not so much - we're staying with friends in a flat share (min of 4 other people, poss 6). Not sure there will be much opportunity for ttc! Feckin typical... must pay more attention to calendar when booking weekend activities.

OK, I'm off to finish packing, got to leave in an hour and DH will be back soon expecting me to be ready . Have a good weekend all. xx

Shrek Definately time for a drink - large glass of red coming it's way! Big hug- it sucks! It's so frustating when after all our efforts lead to nothing!!! I guess you'll be jumping back on our crappy merry-go-round for another spin, feel like I've been on it for the last 4 years, I'm just going into week 2 - here I go again!!!

Polly have fun - you'll have to sneak a quickie if you can afterall it's how all those teenagers seem to do it!!!! Oh and don't forget a litre of vodka and 20 fags!!

I am definately going to need a drink tonight , I've had a hectic week and have been really good as haven't drunk for two weeks, is it really bad to start when I'm going into week 2????

af arrive but strange emotions of and not being pregnant this month and relieved for not having to have another miscarriage, but let my body have a break. Basically just very hormonal.

Poppy - you you need a drink you should have it, we are all the worlds worst at putting our lives on hold for ttc.

polly - hope you get some sneaky ttc time even though away for the weekend.

Shrek - sorry that the af arrived to you too.

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shreks, totally understand. will m iss you. much love xxx

shreks - will miss you, but do understand your need to re-focus. I hope that you are able to forget all the technical ttc stuff and really enjoy your family time. I guess at least some of us will be here when you pop back. Thank you for all the support and encouragement you have given me, and thanks for the choccies and wine too!

Hey Shreks, I'll be sorry to see you leave but totally understand. Good luck and thank you for the advice and support. xx

I have to say Shrek that once I got to the stage you're at now, things actually got easier psychologically and a lot more pleasant than they had been for the previous 4 years.

Thinking hard of you all still. Wish you didn't have to be here, but glad it's here. It certainly helped me to be able to be as miserable as I wanted/was without having to cheer up for other people's sake.

knock knock, can I come in?
I have been ttc number two for the last two years. I had a mc in january and a couple of earlier ones over the year since but nothing seems to want to stick around. I had my bloods checked and everything looks ok. We are waiting for a referral to our local centre at the moment.
My dd is desperate to be a big sister and doesn't understand why everyone she knows has siblings and she doesn't. Sorry to moan on, I just feel rubbish today (and PMT ish ). I keep thinking that maybe I'm doing such a rubbish job with my dd that I'm not allowed another child. I'm a drama queen, I know, I just feel so completely depressed today. Hey ho, there is always next month......Wanders off looking for chocolate......Look forward to chatting with you all.

Lily- unashamed moaning is exactly what the hut is for. It's for people who know that ttc can and is shit for them. I hope you don't have to be here for long, but in the meantime, there's always plenty of virtual Green and Blacks.

Hi... can I join too... feeling sorry for myself today as we have just come home from the hospital where they confirmed that I have had yet another mc...
We have two dcs but this third one is completely elusive ..this was mc number 9.. I had fertility issues ( endometriosis) before dc1, but conceived dc2 easily.. I just dont seem to be able to carry them..

clinic have FINALLY this morning agreed to refer me for tests... have no idea what this entails to be honest .. was still too gutted by the sight of my now totally empty uterus on the sonographers screen...
I mc'd on Monday - at almost ten weeks...

hi lily and duritzfan, sorry to see you here, but hopefully the hut can help you.

lily, ds keeps putting baby on his present lists, it breaks my heart. we have had 10 mc's altogether now and see cons in dec. i know he will tell us to stop, but there are some more tests i want them to do.

duritzfan, so sorry for your loss, why has it taken so long to get a referral? it makes me so !

Hi Lissie... I just saw another post of yours - seems as though we have a bit in common sadly..

I dont know why they have taken so damn long to get us referred ... I think maybe because I have two dcs already they think you are not a priority.. I have mixed feelings about that
its good to be able to talk to people in here who know what its really like.. my dh is great but I cant share the detaisl with him - he would never agree to let me try again

the thing I struggle with most is all the other women having healthy happy pregnancies...
it just all seems so unfair and I wonder what on earth I did wrong to deserve all this..

my two dcs both knew about the baby - so it is devastating to hear them talking about how sad they are too...but after a scan at 8 weeks, we thought it should be ok to tell them...although we havent told anyone else except my best friend..

my neighbor who we are usually quite social with is pregnant - due a couple of weeks before I was - not sure how I am going to handle that yet .. constant reminder living next door..

Thanks Duchesse and Lissie. I feel so blessed to have my dd and feel bad for even moaning about not managing no.2, but it just seems so hard to accept that we won't get another.

Duritzfan, so sorry to hear about your mcs past and present. You have done nothing to deserve any of what has happened I'm sure. Regarding your neighbour, I had the same problem with my mc in January. A girl at work conceived at the same time as me and has just had a little boy. I mc at 9 weeks. It has been really tough to try and not be bitter. I hoped that I would at least be pregnant by the time she had her baby as I thought that it would make it easier, but it didn't work out that way. Strangely I found seeing her pregnant harder to deal with than seeing the baby. I just tried remember how much I cared for my friend and she tried to be sensitive to my situation. It didn't make it much easier but it helped.

Sending you all lots of good wishes. xxx

thanks Lilybunny .. my sil had a baby a few months ago - I had told her that we desperately wnated a third and that we had been trying .. since she announced her pregnancy things between us have completely been ruined.. there were other issues in our friendship but because she got pg and she knew I wanted to she has assumed that I am bitter and resentful .. she has told my mil that we want nothing to do with the baby - which is so untrue - we went to visit the day after she was born and stayed for hours .. we have a gift here for the baby but my sil has cancelled all arrangements to see us and I havent been able to give it to her.. mil now is angry that we are ignoring the new baby while we are all upset that we are being so ridiculously treated ..this situation has gone on since July and it is devastating to me and my dcs who were very close to sils other children ..

Becaus of this situation I am frightened to tell my neighbour about our mc .. in case she treats me differently or starts to avoid us like my sil...

Really dont know what to do ..

Sorry xxxxxxxxxxx

Oh Duritzfan, how awful. It is so hard to get things back on track when relationships become awkward. I'm certain that things are unlikely to end up as strained with your neighbour as they are with your sil, she may even be very supportive. I do hope things look brighter soon.

Well, af got me today (as I expected). I got swine flu at the crucial time this month so I don't know why I'm disappointed - but I am. So, here we go again.

Saunters off in the direction of a slinky underwear shop off-licence.

Lilybunny .. can I join you in that trip to the off licence....?

Sorry AF arrived.. life is very sucky around these parts huh ?

All welcome to the off licence, how about we go via the pub?

Please don't say I've killed another thread!!!

Lol Lilybunny ... no .. lets see if I kill it .....

lol sorry, this thread is a bit odd. i tend to really use it when I am feeling particularly sorry for myself.