The Hut of Gl/Doom... Please don't ask about our reproductive plans as a smack round the head with TCOYF often offends

[OracleInaCoracle]

new thread.

for those who are having problems getting pg

or staying pg

or are simply fed up of being told to relax and having to smile and say "you never know"

Message withdrawn

Hi all

Well AF has just arrived. Doubly depressing as (a) this is only day 24 and (b) I had a spot of blood on day 21 (8 days post ov) when I wiped (Shrek - you and I will be the implantation bleeding queens after this cycle). Took a test the next day (my prescriptions cost £350 so would like to avoid putting them in if poss!) and got a faint line on a First Response. Took a First Response, Clearblue and a hospital cheapie today - all negative then af arrives this evening.

So I assume I must have had a dodgy test last week?

Gone from being on cloud 9 back down to earth with a massive bump and am drowing my sorrows in gin

Lisse - how are you feeling?

Hello heebee, so sorry to hear your news

I hope the gin helped.xx

shrek - any news today? Keeping every thing crossed for you.

Message withdrawn

Lissie - how are you doing?

heebee- that you got your hopes dashed.

shrek - I hope you are right and that something is afoot as you say. Can understand why you are confused though.

As for me I am focussed on work at the moment, so a bit distracted from mn and ftc.

Hello, anyone in here? [... stomps in, throws self in a heap in corner, open bottle of vodka...]

I am just wondering why on earth I bother... I am rattling with the amount of supplements I am taking, I've been for another bout of acupuncture, I'm sorting out my diet etc etc.

But had big chat with DH (see AIBU to want to hit DH around the back of the head with frying pan thread).

He has concerns about having another child, which he has kept to himself for months and months, and hence why it feels like I am the only one ttc. He won't go for acupuncture or do the sperm test for the doctor.

ffs I am 38, I haven't got time for him to play silly buggers - he said he didn't tell me his concerns before because he was waiting for me to ask. grrrrr!

He says he does understand how desperate I am for another bubba. Which makes all this all the more hurtful... I know I am being a bit overdramatic but I feel like he is digging his heels in to deny me what I most desire, because the thing I most desire isn't him. (He has never recovered from the fact he ceased to get so much attention when DD arrived.)

If I wasn't on this darn anti-candida diet, I'd be breaking open the chocolate and red wine. And trying to drown myself in it

Oh Polly . Did he say what his concerns are? Is this totally out of the blue for you?

Tatty

His concerns are valid I think, and things that have crossed my mind, like what effect will another baby have on our relationship. But he also thinks that my desire for another bubba somehow devalues him and DD, and I just cannot get it through to him that this is not the case.

He says that because of his concerns he is happy to try as we have for the last 15 months, but there is a world of difference between trying, and going for acupuncture/sperm tests etc etc. His only concession is to take supplements. He is against IVF for reasons I can't quite understand, and we wouldn't be able to get IVF for free, or afford it ourselves. But I just wish he'd do the damn sperm test - I've done as much as I can and the doctor can't just refer me to the fertility clinic. I would really like to know if there is a problem, so we can either stop putting ourselves through this, or work out how to fix it.

He did say something which made me v sad - when I was saying how amazing motherhood is and how its the best thing I've ever done (hence wanting to do it again and again), he said fatherhood is the hardest thing he's ever had to do. I think its because he's always been quite selfish and hates having to be the breadwinner (even though we both agreed before DD that I should stay at home), and he hates that he doesn't have the same free time to himself anymore, stuff like that. But at the same time he absolutely adores Boo, she is the apple of his eye.

He just seems a mass of contradictions. He wants Boo to have a sibling, but he doesn't want a baby. He wants us to have another baby, but he doesn't want to go as far as I would to have another.

I suppose because he is not that bothered, he kind of feels 'if it happens, great. If it doesn't, not the end of the world'. But that doesn't take account of my feelings.

Sorry, really long post again

Lissie thinking of you. And Shreks how are you? I can so empathise with what you are going through.

Have a good day all. x

Message withdrawn

Oh Polly, that sounds really confusing for you. How frustrating.It sounds like you have reached a brick wall. Have the tests you have done ruled out any particular issue from yuour side? I'm coming up to 38 and have been actively ttc no 2 for nine months, so am in a similair-ish boat.

Howdy all

Polly DH doesn't really want to do IVF either, though we get our 2 free goes as we're 37 and ttc no 1. i think he just wants to do it normally. Personally I don't care - whichever is quicker!! However he is happy to do the tests (did one this week, in fact!) and is taking every supplement under the sun...

Shrek I hate that limbo state, where there's still an element of hope, but you just don't know... Any news?

lissie - hope you are ok

Message withdrawn

Hey all

Just come back from a girls weekend in Devon so feeling a little less like I want to bash DH with frying pan.

Tatty, yes I've had some bloods done, the first lot my FSH and LH levels were raised. But after a couple of months of acupuncture they are back down in the 'normal' range thankfully. The Doc won't do anything else now until DH does his test... and I will think I will die waiting for that to happen. So I guess all I can do is carrying on with the acupuncture and supplements, get some exercise and PRAY that I get pg soon. (and in the mean time try not to be jealous of everyone around me with their gorgeous bumps and/or try not to snap at people when they come out with the usual "well meaning" comments regarding our lack of bubba no2.. GARRRR )

What supplements have you got your DH on Heebee? Mine is on zinc, maca and hornygoatweed! If there is anything else worth trying though, I am happy to force them down his throat get some for DH.

Shreks I know how you feel - it seems that every month is a rollercoaster of hopes and emotions and sometimes it is so bad I just want to give up. But like you I always find another reason to keep going. Still got everything crossed for you. x

Thanks Shrek. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. Any developments? I've been sort of putting my head in the sand, but nine months in I am going to start to be more pro-active. So, I'm doing blood tests this month, and after that will be referred to clinic at the hosp (according to GP anyway).

Hi all

Shreks - how are things?

Tatty - fingers crossed your bloods come back ok and you get your appointment through quickly (I think I waited about 10 weeks for mine).

Polly Glad you had a nice weekend! I put DH on the Zita West vitamen, but he did a bit of research himself and is also taking flaxseed, gingseng and saw palmetto. There is another one but I can't remember what its called. I love the sound of horneygoatweed though!!!!

Why must everyone, including the nurse at the FC try to blow smoke up my arse??? "It's ok, wait two more days - those hpt don't mean anything, I've seen women get pg on day 14 with only a 40 hCG level..." ARGGGG!

yes, but I confimed with her that she's also seen plenty of women who had better response and embies than me also fail - right? RIGHT! So leave me to my gloom and doom, because there are no miracles on day 13 and 14 dpo.

False hopes and careening blindly into a brick wall doesn't help, people! At least I have my let down in stages - not all at once! Do they want me picking out baby names and browsing catalogs until the moment they call with the bad news??? I just don't get it!

rant over - hi everyone I'm isle - LOL

Welcome Isle :-) (slopes over... offers large glass of red, and some green and blacks)

Thanks Polly, I've been missing my glass of red lately!

Sigh... me too Isle... I seem to be surviving on food that tastes like cardboard and so many supplements that I rattle - the lengths I will go to to get PG seem to have no bounds. Still, at least I am half a stone lighter... every cloud has a silver lining and all that!

I am determined next month will be THE month. It is my new positive mental attitude.

Drink up now - medicinal purposes - its good for you!

Lissie - just wondering how you are, thinking of you.

Hello Ladies,

Just popping in to say hello to Rainbowdays - how you doing? What's the latest news with you? Just read you're trying not to think about all things ttc - really hope you get the pregnancy you deserve soon.

xx

Hi Mowmi - I am back with ttc, but not raising any hopes too soon. I have an appointment on Monday with the recurrent miscarriage clinic, to get the results of blood tests to see if there is any reason for the m/c's, but I don't expect to get anything but normal results, so not sure that they will be able to do anything to help. Hope your pregnancy is going well, I think of you often.

Well I got my blood test results back and next time I get pregnant I have to take asprin, no positive test except one that was borderline, so the asprin is as a precaution, well at least it gives me something to do.

Hi to everyone.

Hi Rainbow. Glad to hear the tests came back ok. I take junior asprin too (though I take it all the time, not just from when I get a positive test). As you say, at least you feel like you are doing something constructive..