Assisted conception (and the bits in between!) - part 3 - all welcome

[Caitni]

Right ladies, time for a new thread.

And a big welcome to everyone . Here's to many more success stories and healthy pregnancies!

Just a quickie. Just come back from scan and it's going ok. Nice thick endometrium (14mm) and six follies - 2 at 13mm, 3 at 18mm and 1 at 24mm. The nurses seem pretty happy with that although have stressed there is no guarantee of good eggs in them but still it has brightened my day. Off to make a playmobil railway now!! I love half term. Will post properly later. GW

Hello everyone and thanks for the ejaculatory advice

Lovely to hear from you Duplo with such great news. Let us know how your 9 week scan goes

nanoo still keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you. All pgs are different so try not to worry. Not long now...

Sooty not sure about lack of alcohol causing headaches - don't give yourself such a hard time - it's just the drugs I'm sure. I haven't had a headache today, but am wondering if these drugs are slightly mind altering as I seem to be getting the wrong end of the stick a lot and not quite grasping what's being said - maybe my mind is just preoccupied.

Waves to LL and your twins. Good luck with everything.

I had my first stimming scan this morning. I had 3 measurable follies on the left plus 10 small ones (one of those was there before I started stimming and so probbaly useless) and I had 11 measurable follies on the right and 8 small ones!!! So lots going on in there. I can't believe how potent these drugs are. So positive news and a higher than average amount of follies, but not reading anything into this just yet. Bought lots of lovely healthy stuff like hummus and smoothies and am eating healthily all the way now - not hard as I enjoy cooking nice things anyway. Also have some Green and Blacks in reserve just in case iykwim

Am off to aquafit in a bit so time to go and sort out my bikini line....

Oh god. TMI alert. (really big alert). please please don't read if squeamish.

I just got my first period since the failed IVF. And I just found what looks very like an embryo in my pants. Is this even possible? There's a head end, a tail end. It's just under 2cm long. I urine tested a bit early on the IVF cycle, and didn't go in for a blood test because I couldn't face it after the BFN. But I did get a heavy period after I stopped the progesterone. Could this be a miscarriage or am I going totally crazy? I had symptoms this month, but didn't think much of them, as I'd had that BFN. What else could it be?

Please, someone, talk some sense into me.

Oh Mama I don't know honey. You have to talk to a professional I guess. Sorry. Have you kept it? You could show it to a nurse. Is that helpful? I don't know. You must be in a horrid place emotionally. So here are some (((hugs)))) xx Take care

Thanks MC. Have kept it for now, but thinking I need to do something with it. It will smell otherwise, won't it?

Oh MamaChris I can't believe it - you poor love. It isn't unheard of to bleed in early pregnancy - even if it mc at a later date (if you think that's the case). So shocking for you - and after everything you've been through. Definitely speak to someone at your clinic asap. Don't worry about the smell (I would just seal it in a box) much better to find out so you know for future treatment. Hope there's someone there with you to look after you - be brave, big hug x

yes dp is here. we've wrapped it in paper, will take it somewhere local to bury tomorrow. I am sure what it is though, having looked again. In my job I see lots of such pictures, just this is the first real one.

may be stupid, but am not going to tell clinic. if I hadn't noticed, if it had just fell down the toilet, I feel it would have been much better. hoping that tomorrow we will be back in that place. when we saw the doc after last week, he said they want one natural bleed between cycles. I'll have another one end november before baselines in January, so think it will be ok.

Oh mamachris - that's awful. I agree with mummycat, it would be worth showing one of the nurses. Could you put it in something sealed and put it in the fridge? Then ring your clinic in the morning and ask for their advice. What a horrible thing to happen, especially when you've already been through the failed cycle. (((Hugs))) from me also and look after yourself.

Duplo - Great to hear from you again. So glad things are going ok. Just keep doing what you're doing and stay positive. I'm sure I would be very anxious in the same circumstances. It is so hard so early on. There are so many milestones to reach. Feeling sick and funny about food is definately a good sign. Thanks for advice on ejaculation too. We will act on that.

Thankyou lottie, duplo, caitni and nanoo - Your wise words have helped me feel a bit more calm about the injections today. Hopefully only two more days of them left too.

nanoo - It's nearly tuesday! I don't think lack/presence of symptoms means anything. The pessaries cause so many pregnancy symptoms it must be hard to worh out what's what. Well done for getting this far. Everything is crossed for you here.

Wow mummycat - That's fantastic. What a lovely lot of follies. Makes my 6 look a bit of a poor show, (though with an AMH of 4 I know my 6 are better than expected). When will you be due for EC? It looks like mine will be on Friday. Mmmmm Green and Blacks - yummy. I want some now!!

Lottie - Sorry to hear you won't be escaping yet. Great news about your girls though. Knowing what they weigh must really make it all so real. I so want the next 10 weeks to go quickly for you (although I have a lot of christmas shopping to do so not too quickly!!). Good luck with any more mozzy swatting!!

MamaChris I know you must be a wreck! The hardest moment I had in my WHOLE LIFE was going to the store to buy zip-top baggies to put the bits from my ectopic/mc in - The doctors do advise that you put in a baggie and put in fridge (NOT FREEZER) so that they can run tests on it to see if there are "products of conception" as awful as that sounds, it could help this from occuring again if they know what happened this time.

I'm so so sorry for you - just put one foot in front of the other and hug DP a lot!

Take care!

Mamachris how traumatic! Goodness I always thought my clinic were being over cautious when they insist on coming in for a pregnancy test regardless of your period . . . I understand why you don't want to delay your next cycle though. If it helps my Dr is happy to go back to back with me as I don't really stimulate much - in fact she thinks it could be useful. But she did say if I was producing lots of follicles she wouldn't - I can't remember how many you had?

LL bad news about having to stay, but in some ways it must be reassuring. I wonder what effect it has on future parenting that it is so difficult for us lot to have babies, some people just pop them out. . . these days when I read about people in the past having twelve or so children it really makes me stop and think . .

Great to hear from you Duplo and congrats on the HB. Keep posting until I finish this cycle please . . . . it's my last attempt and I was so suprised you were the success last time (no offence but the two of us did seem to be the least likely candidates of the group) that it has given me new hope. Also, although in some ways I echo LL view about a new vaccine, you might like to know it is being made available to EVERYONE in Oz free of charge, so there must be a fairly high level of confidence in the safety of the vaccine I would say. I think it depends on your work environment/travel arrangements.

GW looks like you are heading to EC pretty soon . . and Mummycat sounds like you are responding well . . . hang in there Nanoo, am still crossing fingers.

My headaches are still around, and it can't be caffiene because I haven't given that up. I used to have a serious addiction when I worked in resturants and gave it up for years, now I have a very strict one a day rule, which from what I've read is okay . . . so it can't be that. I did read on the googlegod that you are more likely to experience withdrawal from alcohol after repeated withdrawals . . . which as I usually don't drink at all after ET would make some sense . . .who knows? It's not like I am a heavy drinker, but I am consistently moderate and am no fan of alcohol free days . . then again it could be the drugs but then I have had them before. Also it could be the acupuncture? Who knows but I wish THEY WOULD GO AWAY! Am swallowing paracetamol like there is no tomorrow . . .

Had a dreadful night. Was feeling so bad for you "MamaChris" - but pleased that your DP was with you and you've decided to bury it and put it behind you. Brave you. x

Sooty, probably a rubbish thing for me to say, but I do think that our battle to become Mums will have a huge impact on our parenting. Not necessary better or worse, just different. Having waited for 7 years for DS, once he arrived I wanted to be his Mum and nothing else. I gave up my career (I always wonder if I would have done that if he had come easily), found it really hard to leave him in a nursery (I tried and failed) and every day am SO SO grateful he exists. I never take him for granted. Maybe I spoil him - he's my world. Probably unhealthy, but I had to fight so hard for him.

Today is Tuesday, I'm meant to be testing tomorrow morning according to the clinic. There's no way I'm going to be able to. I'm not brave enough. (I half planned to do a test this morning, as it's Day 14 since ET, I thought I'd just check - but I woke up in such a state about it). Anyone else experienced this? It all feels so final. After so long! If I didn't test, would it matter? (ie are there any other drugs to take once the clinic know either way are there?)

Thanks LL, the dreadful night was fretting over testing. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Can't bear the pain of it being negative. Am so cross with myself for being so irrational/emotional . Will try tomorrow - will be at my parents house, so who knows, maybe a change of bathroom....

Please don't worry about the new canula - it's all good, it means you're being looked after - the doc knows best. You're safe where you are. And so are your little ones :-) I promise it's gonna be so worth it

Hi girls.

mamachris - Hope you're ok and you managed to get hold of someone at the clinic. Thinking of you.

Sooty - Sorry to hear about headaches. That was me last week. I found drinking huge amounts of water really helpful (2.5 to 3 litres a day seem to do the trick). Does mean I spend a lot of time on the loo though!
Hope they go away anyway. Constant headaches really get me down so I can appreciate how you feel. Are you having a scan soon?

nanoo - I can't believe you've held out this long to test. It's only one more day now. I can understand though that you want to put off a negative whilst there is still hope. As others have said though you have done well to get this far with no bleeding so be brave and do that test tomorrow. We will all be thinking of you. ((Hugs))

Thanks lottie - Yes I keep reminding myself 'quality not quantity'. Then of course I have a panic and imagine that they get no eggs at EC or just one poor quality one. I should just not think about it but we all know that's not easy! I can completely understand what you say about being tearful with all of this. I too have never really had any health issues and have discovered I am a complete wimp! With childbirth I was fine, pretty stoical really, but this is totally different. I am already worrying about having an anaesthetic for EC and I can assure you I would be just the same as you in your situation. Just remember you are also very hormonal, and perfectly entitled to feel the way you do. As nanoo said it will be worth it. Now we have had so much trouble conceiving I treasure the memories of holding my newborn DS's so much. Hang on in there.

GW

thanks for all your messages everyone. I went to the GP this morning, who said it did look like an embryo. So I'm not mad, which is good. And there are positives: I had thought 4 or 5 of my good day 3 embryos made it to blast only to lyse within hours. The one they transferred only made it to blast within the two hours before ET, and was very early stage (grade 1), but it obviously did manage to survive, which would suggest my embryos can make it past blastocyst, they just need to be in me and not a petri dish This is very positive for our next try.

nanoo I do understand the fear of testing. In some ways I've often felt the 2ww is the nearest I come to being pregnant (it's like Shroedinger's cat: if you don't test/open the box, you don't know you're not). Test if you want, but, if you are pregnant, then not testing won't change that, iykwim. So test when you're ready to know: there's no rush.

ll hope the new canula went in ok. short medical things like this, I try and "drift" - close my eyes, steady deep breathing, try and detach myself from my body - the concentration involved seems to lessen any sensations. Do you think it might help to try this? (Or do I sound like too much of a hippy?!)

gw it really is quality not quantity. My friend had exactly one egg retrieved on maximum dose of drugs; it fertilised, and she is now 38 weeks pregnant. I got 14 eggs, 9 fertilised, and now very unpregnant. You just need one, and 6 follies should make more than one egg, easily

sooty hope the headaches clear up very soon. water is the key, I think.

MamaChris so glad that you are looking at this positively. Have been thinking about you since last night's post.

Sooty I agree with GW about the water - I'm finding it really helpful.

Good luck Nanoo - I know you don't want to burst your bubble, but knowing either way will alleviate the stress somewhat.

Canulas are horrid LL I've had quite a few in my time and imo they are worse that childbirth. Or for me they were the worst part. I had to have an antibiotic drip as I had open heart surgery when I was 16. Oh, that's made me think - I'd better mention it to the clinic as I will probably need a drip during EC especially if I'm under general anesthetic.

Well, I am surprised and confused by the amount of follies spotted and counted on Monday - 31 in total. Does this mean that I am experiencing some sort of hyperstimulation of the ovaries? Or is it a sign of PCOS? Could it possibly be linked to my amazing acupuncturist? again...

I guess I'll know more at second scan which is tomorrow morning early! Am sure there will be yet more blood taking too

Am feeling happier generally as DH made a comment this morning which made me realise that he wants this so much, but is scared to admit that even to himself.

Nanoo all the best for your test tomorrow, either way, we'll be here to cheer for you!!!

Nanoo I can't believe you haven't tested . .. but it is sounding postive. LL I don't think I've ever had a canula but it sounds awful to be tied to the bed by both hands. I'm not surprised you are being a crybaby - it must be really hard being in a foreign country and generally 'alone'.

I had my first scan today and I am midly optmistic, two on the left and one on the right. This is quite good for me and the good news is that it is on both sides because I never seem to produce more than one egg per side no matter what the number each side.

The headaches have developed into a full blown head cold, so at least I now know I am not a recovering alcoholic! Almost fell asleep in class today (not a good look). Am also starting to worry that EC is going to happen 7 days from now which would be very annoying as it is my last class - I tried to get an idea which of the students could reschedule today and there was no consensus. If it falls on next wednesday I might just have to teach after EC!

sooty good news on the follies, congrats so far! Bad idea to teach after EC, but then you know what it's like, so I'll defer to your judgement (can you do me a favor and just youtube your class so we can see how the meds effect your teaching abilities???)

Seriously - I wish you truckloads of luck on this one. I would love it if all of the stars aligned just right for you.

xx

Will keep checking back for nanoonews!
(I think a BFP would be a great way to end this thread and start AC #4)

Had second stimming scan this morning and it's even crazier than last time! Womb lining has more than doubled in two days 7mm on Mon and now 15mm. There are now 41 follicles in total all at around the 1cm mark! 25 on the right and 16 on the left plus the one that was already there before I started stimming - this one now measures 2.5cm! I asked for some advice and the nurse said that they will call me later and that the consultant will be reviewing things this time - so who reviewed it last time?

The nurse was clearly shocked by that amount of follies and said that she thinks they will lower my dose of Gonal F. I am only on 150 anyway.

Feeling rather concerned about what seems like an over-reaction by my body. DH says he is surprised that they haven't abandoned this cycle already - not that he really knows anything - just feeling alarmed I think. Am off to research...

(((hugs))) nanoo

AMAZING news. Actually, I can't believe it. I haven't told anyone yet - can barely write it here. But you guys have been so supportive, I just had to share it with you. BFP !!!!

I found the guts to test this morning while I was still too sleepy to think too hard. I only used the little unbranded stick the clinic gave me - that's all I've done so far. I'm planning to double check tomorrow morning with a proper clearblue one - so will have all my fingers and toes crossed again. Trying not to think beyond the next few days just to get through it. So nervous of mc. Please stick please stick please stick....

DH still in US on business, not back til next Wed. Don't know if I should tell him over the phone (especially as some of you might remember he was SO horrible to me last week - not sure he deserve to know yet!).

How are you MummyCat- any news from the consultant? Really hope your Dh isn't right and the cycle isn't abandoned - surely it's just a readjustment of dosage?

Great you went to the doc MamaChris - and it's a good way to look at it - the embryo clearly survived much longer than you thought

New Thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/851417-Assisted-conception-and-the-bits-in-between-part-4-all ?rnd=1256758793249

Please can someone teach me how to set up a proper linking page to the new thread that I have just started? [confused and slightly useless emoticon]