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Conception

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Assisted conception (and the bits in between!) - part 3 - all welcome

1000 replies

Caitni · 27/05/2009 12:00

Right ladies, time for a new thread.

And a big welcome to everyone . Here's to many more success stories and healthy pregnancies!

OP posts:
islegrin · 14/10/2009 23:38

Nanoo you can get out of bed to go to the loo and to eat - that's IT! Stay as relaxed and as horizontal as possible. Give those girls a chance to snuggle in. I'm so happy chuffed for you! I remember the elation that followed my ET - did they give you a take home picture of the two they transferred??? (I'm so pathetic, I haven't taken Bert and Ernie down yet, haven't had the heart.) Oh, it seems like so long ago for me, and it was what?... 5 weeks ago???

Huge congrats for getting this far!!! There are very few that have this good of a turn out, focus on the positive and having those two (or one) dig in for the long ride! Best of luck on the tww - we'll all be anxiously waiting news, of any kind - real or imagined!!!

islegrin · 14/10/2009 23:44

Bumpless sorry - I didn't mean to contradict you, ha. I didn't read your post until after I posted to nanoo. I'm sticking by my advice (mainly because it's what my FC told me!)

Bumpless glad to hear you are making steps forward and I loved your comments to LL, I'm sure she is plenty frustrated, and independent, active women HATE to be tied down!!! Thinking of you LL!

londonlottie · 15/10/2009 08:02

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Horton · 15/10/2009 09:35

Thanks so much for your very generous congratulations, all of you.

londonlottie · 15/10/2009 10:46

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nanoo · 15/10/2009 12:36

Hey girls, thanks so much for your top tips on staying horizontal. Have to say, it's going really badly. I keep wanting to get up and do things. Am currently on sofa with legs up, but looking at kettle and thinking about another cuppa Not easy being bedridden when you feel completely normal.

Isle we were given a pic - I remember you telling us you were a loon to upload your pic of Bert and Ernie, but I was so new to IVF at the time (only just started on this thread too) I had no idea what I was looking at. I've just been back to look, now I know a fraction more, and they do look amazingly healthy. I can't believe it didn't work out for you - sounds like you had so much going for you, v v healthy embies :-) that bodes so well for your current cycle. I won't get your hopes up, but you can afford to be v positive :-)

My photo look different as they are only 4 cells, and one is not great qual (a bit fragmented). I keep looking at the pic trying to imagine what's going on inside. Oh, this bed rest is frustrating......need to keep busy to stop thinking....ho hm...

londonlottie · 15/10/2009 12:52

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islegrin · 15/10/2009 18:46

LL glad to hear of your accidental relief, similar thing happened to me whilst they were trying to relief facial pain with steroids suddenly my evil backpain went away completely, unfortunately it didn't help the facial pain and then I was diagnosed with arthritis at age 32, from an old horse riding injury, or should I say horse falling injury? For now the relief of CTS and the internet will hopefully be enough to calm your wild mind. I know it's tough being told you can't do, exactly as you like!

londonlottie · 15/10/2009 19:05

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mummycat1 · 15/10/2009 20:02

Wow LL Is your DH my DH's long lost brother? My DH was saying, "Let's get married tomorrow , i love you so much." just before DD's birth in 2006 - having stalled until this point. After long search, we found beautiful romantic castle in Ireland, all was going swimmingly and then... he had a wobble! We got married - small wedding in 2008 when he had finally calmed down! It's so good to know that I'm not the only one. Men are just plain weird!

Congratulations Horton you are living the dream. baby glue to you xx

Bumpless this must be a pretty crazy time for you at the moment with your head all over the place. Do you have any short term plans for yourself - like holidays and stuff? Take care and thanks for the sports car advice

Sounds good nanoo. My clinic advises carrying on as normal so there is a lot of conflicting advice out there. Maybe there is a balance between these two extremes?

londonlottie · 15/10/2009 20:56

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islegrin · 15/10/2009 21:29

LL I love your wedding stories, reminds me of my first marriage versus second marriage, although we were on a beach at sunrise in a short dress (from a local tourist shop) and DH was in shorts - no shoes. He absolutely loved it!

I'm going for a scan today to make sure no folls and downregging was successful. Today should be last day of bc pills, tiny amounts of lupron inj will continue and we expect ET around Nov 6th. Next week my midsection will start to have the appearance of the olympics as the rings from the estrogen patches stick to my sides - it's a look that very few women can really carry off!

sootykalucy · 15/10/2009 23:48

Big day on the postings . . . where to begin? With the bedridden . . . Hey Nanoo get up if you want to . . women have been told to lie down and take it for ever . . . my clinic just said no tennis or horseriding, which considering that they, along with yoga are my favourite forms of exercise seemed a bit mean. Yoga got the thumbs up though. And LL stay there, right where you are . . . this could be serious and it's not worth it (if you were even thinking about getting up). My friend had a similar situation, unfortunately she gave birth. Her little boy is fine - but it was very touch and go for two months. They both had to stay in hospital for the rest of term (and then some) and it's amazing to me that he is completely normal. It sounds like you got there in good time though, and my mum had a similar thing with me at 7 months, as did my best friend and both pregnancies went to full term. Also, I am totally with LL about the 'quality' stuff nanoo - I just think they need to make a decision so they have worked out some guidleines (and fair enough, maybe it's better than pot luck), but that's all they are. There's no ryhme or reason to any of this stuff.

LL loved your story about your wedding dresses - I remember reading addvertisements for similar sets when I was doing a essay on the role of photography in weddings (basic theory, no one cared too much about them until they could be photographed - that was when they became a staged event as we know it). It seemed rather sad at that time that all those women were selling their unused dresses, but your story puts a positive twist on it.

I'm glad you liked my idea of a post IVF thread Bumpless, feel free to get started - though I am not going to join you quite yet. I think there is so much to deal with and still more decisions to be made - DE, Adoption, remaining childess . . . but it does need a new forum. I suggest calling it "When IVF fails . . . " or "Life after IVF . . . with no children'. I know that sounds a bit negative - but it needs to pop up when people are doing searches . . . I have already starting reading a bit about what happens to couples after IVF, apparently depression rates are very high. The good news is that the divorce rate is suprisingly low - less than 10%, much lower than the general population so ? Who knows, but I think after all this treatment and support from links like this it will be weird to be cut loose.

I am having my own little battle with an old dear friend who I have managed to offend and would like some advice from you bods. He got married a few years ago to a woman of 38 and they became pregnant pregnant pretty easily. They had a child, and then a miscarriage. Anyway the complication is that she is a homeopath, and those of you who know me know that I am quite skeptical about alternative therapies. Anyway, after the miscarriage they had about 6 months of trying and after treatment with acupuncure are now pregnant. So he writes me this email saying I must try it - look we've had sucess! Now my position on this, is considering they have had two pregnancies prior to accupuncture this is not at all conlcusive, and I just felt like he was bragging. So I didn't reply. He emailed again and I told him what I thought - that it was really thoughtless of him to compare our situations (we've been TTC for 5 years since I was 36) and now he's gone silent on me . . . I think it all comes back to a conversation I had with his wife about 5 years ago when she said in her philosophy of health "you are in control of everything that goes on in your body" which I reacted to angrily because my godmother was dying of cancer (kicking and screaming all the way). Anyway yaddah yaddah yaddah, I hate this business and how it makes you so jealous of all your friends and resentful of their successes . . . . I know you guy's will be supportive and so I'm not really asking advice I'm just venting my frustrations and having to deal with all the implications and prejudices, and blame pointed against not being fertile !!!

islegrin · 16/10/2009 07:52

sooty I had my ears open the whole time, reading your post. Sorry it's put your friendship in such a tight spot, if it's worth it to you - sometimes time is the best healer of friendship wounds. I'm continually amazed what some time away and silence does because it's not my nature. I want to get it all out and convince the other why my way is right!!! But that does tend to drive a wedge. They definitely know how you feel, so it's not as if you backed down or were a shrinking violet, and you know how they think as well. You just disagree, plain and simple - and it's been that way ever since you were a skeptic and they were into homeopathy.

The bottom line is this: in both things they offered to you, it was out of wanting to help you, not frustrate you (even though that was the unintended result). His wife offered you the thought that you could control your health/body, which is a very empowering idea, in her mind. (I completely disagree with this notion, but that's beside the point). Then your friend offered acupuncture to you because (in his mind) it worked for them and he wants for you what you want - to be updiffed! He wants you to be as happy as they are, I can think of worse. Hope I haven't meddled too much.


Well today I went in for my scan and results of blood tests and it's been found that I have a genetic mutation that inhibits my ability to process folic acid which tends to increase my chances of mc. (further reason to cling to my beliefs that you can't control everything about your body) It's a bit disconcerting and DH and I wonder how much this has played a factor in our IVF failure and perhaps even the IUI cycles. On the bright side, my doc is brilliant to even have tested for it and the fix is a simple mega-dose of folic acid and B vits. Plus we caught it in plenty of time for our round of FET, so I guess all in all it was good, but a little part of me still feels broken.

Doc did say that this was likely part of the reason for the ectopic, but I wasn't seeing her at that time.

I wonder if I will notice any difference in my daily life after being treated for this.

londonlottie · 16/10/2009 08:08

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sootykalucy · 16/10/2009 23:22

Thanks Islegrin and LL I was in a bit of a state yesterday. In the end I 'phoned a friend' who actually has had a child in the time we have been trying and that helped. Made me realise I wasn't being unreasonable - most of my friends have had kids since we've been trying, but maybe as well my friend was being obtuse. Maybe as well I just need to wait for the divorce . . . . it just all feels like such a sorry business at the moment from my perspective.

Islegrin glad you Dr caught up with your condition - it might make all the difference.

And LL I think it is time you 'phoned a friend' too . . . at least maybe for when you do go back home - so someone can help you prepare without lugging boxes yourself. You must be going out of your brain with boredom, you need to get online and get yourself some entertainment, get on to Amazon now . . . .

nanoo · 17/10/2009 11:35

Isle, that's great you know so much more now - and fantastic there is a fix. Maybe this is the key you've been waiting for - please don't feel broken. It's such good information to have (you wouldn't want to be pg and only then find out there's an issue with folic acid - the risk of mc would be high).

Sooty that's great you had someone else to chat to about it - of course you weren't being unreasonable. Are you going to do anything about it now? You said he was a "dear old friend" - sounds a relationship worth fixing. (Maybe he went silent just because he couldn't bear confrontation, or realised he'd be a twat and didn't know how to begin with sorry??)

Friends being insensitive is SO hard. Actually I found I got over the jealously of friends having babies after the first few years (I struggled at first!). The worst was my sister, who had her entire family of 3 while I had mc after mc. It always seems worse when it's a close friend. My closest friend from college is currently pg with DC2 and treats my fertility treatment as though I'm just getting my teeth cleaned at the dentist. V v insensitive, to the point I've stopped arranging to meet up. Bit sad. But she just doesn't get it.

No news from my little embies inside - except I don't feel A THING. Nothing. I've had an upset tummy on and off (I assume that's the drugs??) but I feel so normal. It's only Day 5 since EC (so if they are still with me they'd be doing their blastocyst thing today....)

islegrin · 17/10/2009 11:45

Yay for day 5 nanoo! It's so exciting, everyday after transfer. I hope you are doing well and keeping yourself occupied with fun things.

I took the whole "broken" thing to a new level this morning... now I wonder if this is why the last 4.5 years and lots of money have been a waste. It's hard not to regret not knowing sooner. (Hope that double negative is understandable) doc thinks that's what prob caused the "ectopic" and now even doubts that's what it was... oh, I must go think about something else. I think I need an escape route out of my mind.

I'll be fine and dandy tomorrow, just have to wait out this cloudy period.

mummycat1 · 17/10/2009 20:37

Sooty IMO you haven't done anything wrong. Your comments to your friend sound perfectly justified to me. It is hard to have people force their ideals down your neck. I'm sure they probably feel bad and hopefully realise how thoughtless and sensitive they have been. However, they probably thought they were helping. They sound somewhat naive TBH. Try not to worry. Give it some time to calm down

Isle LOL at your oestrogen patches quip! , but at your blue feelings. This is a good discovery. Knowledge is power! Your Dr sounds great. I'm keeping my fingers crossed so hard for your FET.

Hang on in there nanoo I'm rooting for your little embies xx

mummycat1 · 17/10/2009 20:40

sorry Sooty I meant insensitive not sensitive!

islegrin · 17/10/2009 22:25

Knowledge is only potential power, Action is power -- well, in my world. Luckily, we're doing both! (I get your meaning mummycat, and I appreciate it much, I really do.) I think I still have some sticky bits of patch-ring left from last time - keep picking it off in the shower.

Why is it that I want to sing: Were off to see the wizzard, the wonderful wizzard of Oz!

mummycat1 · 19/10/2009 13:30

Hello Ladies. I went for my down reg scan today. They found one follicle in my left ovary of 2.3mm and my womb lining was 7mm and they really want it to be 6 or less so I was a little concerned.

Anyway, they just called and said that my blood test results show that I am ready to start stimming on Thurs! Will have my first stimming scan on Mon.

Unfortunately, I suddenly seem to have become a needle phobe and am having to get DH to inject me every day instead of doing it myself. Perhaps my tummy has had enough! Will be moving onto thighs on Thurs.

Will be so glad when I don't have to go for acupuncture anymore too. Not really enjoying that. I just happened to mention that I have been having some trouble sleeping and before you know it, i suddenly had 6 needles sticking in my inner ear. Youch!!

How's everyone else getting on? Seems to have gone a little quiet on here xx

nanoo · 19/10/2009 14:02

AH MummyCat1 don't get a needle phobe now - stimming just around the corner - just feel excited by the opportunity ahead (hark me, and still a newbie to this whole thing!) But I meant it positively! V exciting that you could be starting soon.

I'm on Day 7 since fertilisation (should I be counting from then, or from ET? not sure). Until yesterday was doing really well at being relaxed/calm, looking forward to another bit of acupuncture tomorrow etc... When guess what? DH as a HUGE wobble. HUGE. Last night he absolutely freaked - hating everything about this (oh, and our life) - throw his dinner across the room, had me in tears, slept in a different bed, had another tantrum with me this morning, had me in tears again. Just received an email from a friend who's adopted (happily - it's all worked out really well for her) after 7 failed cycles of IVF who said for her IVF was like "going into a dark room on your own for 3 years" and advised me to keep talking to DH. Agh.

And I'm meant to be relaxed!!!! I can't believe this is happening to me

londonlottie · 19/10/2009 14:29

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nanoo · 19/10/2009 14:45

That's so kind of you LL - esp when you are dealing with so much yourself. It's not completely out of character - he's had a tantrum or two in the last few years (ie physically hitting something in anger), but it's quite rare. I've always been worried he has some sort of depression, but haven't a clue how to bring it up with him, and now I think the IVF has pushed him over the edge. Oh dear.

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