Assisted conception (and the bits in between!) - part 3 - all welcome

[Caitni]

Right ladies, time for a new thread.

And a big welcome to everyone . Here's to many more success stories and healthy pregnancies!

Bumpless I'm glad you went to see Nargund, but sorry the result was so decisive. You sound relieved, and I can relate to that. We are heading into our last cycle in a few weeks and a part of me has already written it off . . . maybe we need to start a post - IVF thread now ?

bumpless Terrible news about the antral follicle count. (but I'm glad you are very happy with the doc) Does this mean you are out of the game for good, or just that you really need to consider donor eggs??? Still I'm crushed for you, after all that we go through, it's going to be hard at some point, when you realize that THIS part of the ride is over, but I think there's another rollercoaster just around the corner, try go see if you can locate it! Huge Hugs to you, if you should need it.

x-posts with sooty heyyy, a post-IVF thread, now there's something! (Although I'm not sure I could bear it!!!) When do you start your next round of IVF?

Bumpless I'm so sorry to hear that Dr Nargund was so decisive. ((Hugs)) to you and I'll keep checking here to see what plan to do next xx

Hello ladies

I hope you don?t mind me posting. I read through the whole of this thread yesterday (boy you can all talk ? 874 posts!! ) and it felt rude not to show myself as it were.

I?m not quite in a position to dive in yet as we are just being referred, so waiting for a first appointment date, but it does look likely that IVF might be the route we have to go. We?ve been trying for two years and both I and my husband have got factors that have been damaging our chances, but last week we got the diagnosis of anti-sperm antibodies in his SA and this is a new development. Coupled with everything else, I think this means we have to accept we need help big time.

It scares the hell out of me, knowing how hard TTC is without the added strains of super-doses of hormones, financial investment and invasive treatments, but reading what you have all been saying about it (in particular the expectations we should have going in to it, and your positive attitudes) has really helped to calm me down. I?ve also cheered reading your positive outcomes, and been saddened by the disappointments.

So this is just to say hi and when I know a bit more information about our position no doubt I?ll be back to ask if I can join in properly. Good luck to all of you in the throes of treatment at the moment and I hope everything works out.

Cerubina you have no idea! 874 posts is nothing . . . this is the third thread - we've had to refresh three times and it's looking like a fourth coming up. Jump on board when you are ready.

Reading this from Cerubina made me think, I am the only original member since the first thread? Are any of you oldies reading still but not posting? Nomore OAP ? Did you guys decide to enter the ring again? Oh well, my time is nearly over, but I'll make sure I see you guy's onto part 4 before hand . . .

Guys, thanks SO much for all your well wishes for my EC yesterday. I'm so stressed and having a dreadful day (at exactly the time I'm meant to be relaxing to get ready for ET) -but it's not about me...

Bumpless, I'm so sorry that you have made that decision - although good to hear you being positive. It must be so hard - I really admire you for being brave...but don't force it, let yourself have a good cry if you want to. Don't wait for the stubbed toe. Is it really the end of the line? Are donor eggs a possibility? My thoughts are with you...x

Sorry, me AGAIN, as have just had call from clinic. They have asked me to come in tomorrow (Wed) for ET. If EC was Monday, does that make Wed Day 2? Reading all your posts you guys are discussing Day 3 vs blasts. Am confused. Why would they want to ET so quickly?

I was really hoping for blasts, but the clinic say it's too early to make any call today as they haven't even started dividing yet (so they don't know the quality). They say 7 have fertilised (this is my first cycle, so I don't even know if that's good or bad, but ZW says it's quality not quantity). I guess the downside of going for blasts is I am less likely to have any left for freezing. Is that right? Sorry to be so hopeless and confused, I just need to be prepared for the clinic meeting tomorrow...and would be SO grateful for your help :-)

((((Bumpless))))) sorry to hear your news. hugs to you. xxx

Hello Everyone. I have been watching you all over the last couple of weeks through ups and downs. and to all xxx

Bumpless I understand completely, the relief you are/were feeling. Let us know what your plans are (((hugs))) if it helps/ you need it.

Isle always such wise words from you and lots of useful information on technical details about blasts v embies. I enjoy reading your posts and am keeping everything crossed for your FET.

"Mama" good to hear that you are bravely stepping back onto the train. We are also weighing up our options and deciding whether to go for one or two embies. The consultant is keen for us to try for blasts and do SET. We'll see. I am keen to put two in as I'm frightened of this not working and then having to find more money, which may not be possible. Am also terrified of the complications that can go along with twins though Londonlottie seems like a great advert!

I am on down reg day 11. It's going well so far, though did have bit of hot flushing in the night and have had some bloating. Also tummy has a few purple and green patches on it. whoops!

I am seeing a Chinese bloke for acupuncture. He is very sweet and when I lie there with lots of little needles sticking out of me I try to imagine all the blood rushing around my ovaries. According to him my blood level is low. A lot of the stuff he said just from checking my pulses made a lot of sense to me. Every other phrase he uses starts with, "In China..." which is v interesting, but also pretty confusing. Apparently the Chinese say that MC happens because your body wasn't ready for it and they don't believe in IVF as it is trying to force the body to do stuff. So my addled brain is puzzling over this...

I have a scan next Mon and then will hopefully start stim the following Thurs. however, I am frightened that my AF may not have come before then which would cause problems. TMI alert - I had a tiny streak of pink blood last night and the night before. Nothing else. Just keeping my fingers crossed that it is taking a while to get started and that the down regging has not disrupted it.

DH seems to have gone a bit bats. He has been having a major wobble and is not really being supportive. I reckon he is just scared. He has wanted lots of children all his life. Now he is saying that he is not so sure and suddenly - completley out of the blue - announced that he is feeling unsure about this when I had already started injecting! So thanks for the emotional stress DDH [sarcastic and hyper stressed smiley]! I reckon he is having a mid-life as he seems to be looking back over his life a lot with regrets a plenty. I feel so and let down. I'll just have to be strong enough for two of us I guess.

DD has had what looks like swine flu since last Tue and is still not herself. V clingy and emotional. I am on a course in another city on Thurs so hope that she will cope without me.

Nanoo sounds like you need to slot in some "me" time to today. Good luck.

TTFN

Bumpless, I'm so sorry to hear about the scan, it must have been such a shock for you. Obviously in some ways it's better to know about it so you can take a more appropriate course of action, but it must be so difficult to accept. Sending you a big hug. Would you consider DE, or is this something you're not comfortable with?

nanoo, 7 embrios sounds great to me. I think your clinic are right when they say it's too early to decide about blasts. The main advantage of blasts is that at that stage you can tell better which embies have the highest potential, but depending on what happens you may be able to tell the same thing earlier on, some of your embrios might develop much better than others. My dr told me the womb is definitely the best place for an embrio, but if your 7 are still going strong on Wed it may be worth waiting to choose the best ones.

nanoo yes, it does seem like Mon EC would mean day 2 on Wednesday, I'm not sure why they would take a look at them then, but I'm sure your in very good hands. 7 embys is great! Congrats!!! Day 3 embys should be 8 cell, I think day 2 is 4 cell just make sure you pay attention to the quality report when they give you the details. If your experience is anything like ours, they gave us the report then we had to decide within an hour, then they did the ET.

How exciting for you - just keep in mind, IT ONLY TAKES ONE!

mummycat seems we might be close again this cycle, I'm going in for my scan on Thursday. I'm sorry to hear DH is wobbling! He's human, I think it would be good to talk about it, if you can. Make sure that both of you have a chance to express where your feelings are then make decisions together. I wonder if he's concerned about your health in going through the IVF?

Waves to everyone else!

Thank you Duplo that makes so much sense. So is day 3 Wed? (as I had EC on Mon)....

MummyCat1, you poor love. Men! My DH did something similar back in April - I wasn't doing IVF, but I was injecting the FSH drugs, then the very night the clinic told us I was ovulating and it was time to seriously BD, he suddenly got cold feet!!!!! Worse than that, he got himself so wound up, he couldn't actually perform. Agh. In the end it turned out the drugs hadn't worked properly anyway - but still, I was so hurt. I felt exactly the same as you - that I needed to find the strength for the two of us. Anyway, here we are 6 months later and he's being a real rock through our first IVF cycle - so maybe just see your DH's wobble as a temporary blip, he'll be back to wanting heaps of kids v soon :-)

bumpless glad you have some definite news, but, ouch. that sounds very final unless you decide to try donor eggs/adoption. I'm not really sure what to say, but am thinking of you.

cerubina hello!

islegrin I will check with the clinic re the grade of embryos earlier on. If there was a large range, and it was clear which was the "best" embryo earlier on, then it would make sense to go with that. going for blasts we sure isolated the best embryo, but doing so again I worry we'd end up with nothing.

nanoo my clinic also suggested I come in for a day 2 transfer, after 9/11 eggs had fertalised. I said "oh, but I thought we were trying for blasts" and she said "oh yeah - the embrylogists hadn't noticed that" and we went ahead for blasts (ended up with just 1 mind). I think you need to ask about the grade of embryos you have. You can wait till day 3 to decide, but I think there's some reason that transfers never happen on day 4.

mummycat dp did the same. "I don't think I can do this" as injections started, and, then again, the day of transfer. I think the stress comes out in different ways for everyone. Having kids is life changing, and the realisation that it might be about to happen can be a bit scary. That said, it's Not Very Supportive just when you don't need it, and I don't know what to suggest - I never know how best to deal with dp when it happens. good luck with the scan. and if AF doesn't come, it's not much of a problem. my clinic just said they'd ask me to wait another 2 weeks till it did come and start then, so don't worry about that.

Thank you for your words of wisdom on DH Isle Mama and Nanoo it helps. He has just had a promo at work (not finacial just status) and is really buzzing. Maybe I'll be able to talk to him about IVF again soon...

Men are pants!!

Hope you've chilled out a bit now nanoo

Lottie OMG at your experience! How very stressful for you. I'm glad you're calming down (and sounds like you're getting great care - lavender compresses and all!). But I am really rooting for your cervix (er, never, ever did I think I'd type that sentence). Sending vibes that it stays doing its job for as long as possible and, in the meantime, some cyber hugs to you and a virtual heat magazine and some cadburys (though with all the swiss chocolate on offer I'm sure I'd soon lose my love for cadburys!).

MamaChris the whole one versus two thing is a big decision, and obviously one that only you and your partner can make. But I had two blasts transferred and am pregnant with a singleton. One blast was a little better quality than the other but obviously we don't know which made it. In my opinion I think if I'd gone with just one blast then I may not be pregnant now. Just wanted to offer my experience (and Lottie's right about IVF twin pregnancies being more likely to be safer due to fraternal twins with own placentas/amniotic sacs. I found the SET section of FF useful when we were doing our own pondering. Also, I think most clinics only defrost pairs of embryos, blasts or not, as the thawing process can be damaging. So if you had 8 frosties that would be (roughly) 4 FETs.

Isle meant to say that I'm very excited that your FET is going ahead so soon, especially as it sounds like your doctor is so experienced with FET. I really hope you get that BFP soon

Mummycat fingers crossed your scan on Mon shows a good thin lining. My downreg "period" was very light, and clinic weren't bothered as long my scan showed my lining was thin so we could go ahead with stims.

Nanoo good luck with ET today! It was by far my favourite part of the whole process - seeing the catheter snaking into my womb positioning our embies was so good that I even temporarily forgot about my uncomfortably full bladder!

Big waves to everyone else.

Gosh Londonlottie! However, sounds like you are being monitored and cared for excellently. 10 weeks seems like a long time, but in the scheme of things...

I had a colleague who had to stay in hospital for about that stretch of time with her second. I know she got bored and emotional at times, but the end result was a gorgeous little boy.

So maybe you need to make some lists - films you want to watch, books you want to read etc. And can you knit? This could be a good time to sit around doing homely mummsy things like that

Your description of your DH's wobble made me laugh. It seems that this is a common experience - I'm so glad I shared mine.

Caitini was really interested to hear your experience. I am leaning towards having 2 put in TBH, but will obviously wait and see how successful we are. My AF came this morning (phew) so all good so far. Hope mine will be light too, like yours. How many times did you go through IVF?

Nanoo good luck with ET. Looking forward to hearing how you got on. Enjoy taking it easy afterwards. Don't suppose a glass of wine would be a good idea so I'll have one for you If choc's your thing then go for real luxury - you deserve a treat

Mummycat my DH would have preferred one embie put back, but I was just so anxious to get pregnant that two was my preference (we did do a LOT of talking about it though, researching risks of twin pregnancies, talking about practicalities of twins etc and decided that we'd prefer one but could definitely cope with two as well). By the time we got to ET we only had two blasts left, and since freezing just one isn't really an option we decided to put two back in. My clinic is big on SET for under 35s but really leave the decision up to the couple. I had one round of ICSI by the way. Glad your AF has arrived! What a relief...

Gosh, Lottie, very best of luck. What a stressful thing. But ten weeks in bed is not so bad in the grand scheme of things - just think how lovely and rested you will be when your babies arrive.

I hope that I am here to say goodbye as I had an unexpected BFP yesterday afternoon, after three years of trying to conceive child number two (and two years trying to conceive number one) and being booked in for IVF starting in December. So fingers crossed for the long haul for me, and many good wishes and heaps of luck to all you lovely women. Sorry I wasn't about for longer and hope things work out for you all in the best possible way.

Horton congratulations! It's always lovely to hear of BFPs, and it's great that you managed to avoid IVF!

PS Duplo hope things are going well with you.

PPS For those of you who remember Glastochick who used to pop in from time to time over the various threads we've had going, I saw on another thread that her IVF worked and she's due in May.

LL so sorry to hear of the possible early labor - guess you have to keep those legs crossed tightly now! All the best you you and the little girls, I'm sure your Swiss wunderhospital will take good care of you for whatever length of time you are there.

Horton CONGRATS! Hope it holds out for you and you make it all the way to a healthy little cherub!

Wow, lots happening here while I've been in hospital!! Londonlottie I'm sure you are in the best care - enjoy being looked after, am sure it's critical to relax (get lots of sleep in the bank for when the twins arrive :-)) Great your DH is stoked by twins.

Fantastic news Horton - what a relief to avoid all those IVF drugs. Congrats.

I'm just back from ET. In the end only 1 emb was "good" quality, and only 1 "average". The rest were below standard. So definitely no point of going for blasts, and nothing to freeze. Boo. But we transferred both. So there are now 2 little embies floating happily inside...hopefully!!! (why have I already decided they are girls - am really setting myself up for a HUGE fall!)

The transfer seemed to go OK (only read afterwards in ZW that I should have been v relaxed, instead I was gripping DH's hand throughout ). But I promised myself to follow ZW's "at least 3 days bed rest" but I'm finding it SO hard. I'm really uncomfortable just sitting here, feeling really frustrated, dying to get some fresh air. I've got my DS (energetic toddler who needs to climb all over me all day) booked into a childminder for the next two days so I can stay in bed. Do I really need to stay in bed? D'you reckon a bit of sitting/light walking be OK? DH is being really strict holding me down....!

Thanks girls for all the hugs and support. Think I?m still a bit numb, till haven?t really reacted. Caught myself going into the ?my body?s failed me, I think I?ll abuse it? pit and am just about managing not to binge toooooooo much, but that?s been it so far. But mentally something has shifted ? I know I?m not going to have my own genetic baby now. It made me realise that I?d been thinking of donor eggs as a backstop to IVF, ie a less favourite route to getting my family. Funnily, that?s not how I?m seeing it now. I?m not going to have what I planned, and a DE baby would be something else entirely, which maybe I?ll decide I want as an alternative, but definitely not as a substitute. Hmmm. Sooty I think that life after IVF thread is a good idea, maybe I?ll start one! (But please don?t give up hope on your next cycle yet, you never know, this could be the One Good Egg!)

Mummycat I?m so sorry your DH is having a wobble! As you?ll have gathered this seems to be amazingly common. Fortunately my DH hasn?t pulled this one, but my impression from others is that all you can do is give him space to get through it and remind him of the big picture (ie, you two with a family in 5 years, and you two old and being waited on by doting (rich) offspring in 50 years. On no account let him buy a sports car.

LL booo, how crap to be bedridden and what a scare! Although Swiss clinics do sound like they might have one up on the old NHS? perhaps they even have someone who could come and do you a mani/pedi from there?.? I?m sure you?re saying through gritted teeth ?well, it?s for the best if it?s helping the babies? but I guess it really is? but I can feel the waves of frustration!

Horton !!! How fantastic! Congratulations to you, and please do look in from time to time to tell us how you?re doing!

Well done Nanoo on getting your two safely on board! I don?t think it?s essential to stay in bed, especially if you?re getting fed up and twitchy ? relax is the key word and if a gentle stroll would help you relax, I reckon that?s what you should do.