Just MC'd. Starting it all again.. Come and join me for the long haul.

[MumOfBaby]

Hi all.

Needing some extra support this time round as have just had a MC. We are trying again straight away. But I've a feeling it's going to take ages. Got pregnant first month trying last 2 times. I have 1 DC- 11 months.

I want some people to join this thread who are ready to hold hands and help each other through the TTC.

Good luck to all.

i went to bluewater shopping centre yest for some retail therapy and to spend my birthday vouchers whilst DH took the kids to see coraline...anyway i was in John Lewis and it has been all changed and they are redeveloping store layout etc. i was wandering smelling the perfumes like you do when i turned the corner to be thrust headlong into the baby section.....buggies, cots and all that jazz, it was jam packed with pregnant mums and their dads and i had a very violent physical reaction to it....the wave of jealousy and resentment, well almost hatred for all the ladies and their bumps was HORRIBLE....very unlike my normal nature i assure you...i had to leave before i broke down in tears. I had a starbucks to calm down and thought about what i was actually jealous of cos it sure isn't pregnancy itself....i generally dislike being pregnant and tolerate it for the beautiful prize at the end so to speak...anyway i soon came out of that negative space but am amazed that i had such a reaction....pregnant ladies normally make me smile....just wanted to share that with you all.....not to offend any of our newly pregnant ladies, of course i love all of you without reservation or a single jealous thought....

thinking of you today cupcake. Its a month tomorrow for me.

Boodleboot - I totally get your reaction- the worst part of it is not knowing when it will hit- for me sometimes I'm okay seeing a pregnant woman and other times have a fit. Sometimes I'm okay if someone says something about the MMC othertimes I want to kill them-(Today's little gem was from my best mates 4 year old saying "sorry that your baby passed away"- that one actually made me laugh as bless her she was being lovely it just came out of the blue and wrong time- her mum had to try and explain timing and tact!) (I didn't want to kill best mates 4 year old- it was okay).

Oh and BTW my miscarriage counsellor said reactions to such things are fine and part of the grieving process- you are entirely allowed to feel hatred towards those people (if you take a machete to them on the other hand thats when its not fine!) you recognise that isn't a normal feeling for you so please don't feel bad for feeling like that.

One of my best mates has been TTC#1 for 3 years. When I got pregnant it caused a bit of difficulty in our friendship understandable really. When I had the MMC I told her that she was entirely allowed to feel secretly glad she had me back as TTC buddy- and she admitted she was and it actually helped our friendship. I think we need to be more honest about such things then maybe bumps wouldn't get shoved in our faces at unexpected corners.

Bloody hell that was a long wobble from me- am overtired clearly!
xxx

Thanks boodle I totally get your reaction too. I just feel resentful towards pregnant women, like they just take it for granted... which I recognise is highly unfair of me because I have no idea how long they tried to conceive for or if they've miscarried before etc...
Totally, glad af is almost over

...and forgot to say, Totally, in answer to your question... sorry if this is too blunt but I would say please do not take pills to stop your af. It is hard enough ttc without sending your body mixed signals and playing around with your cycle. I would just hate it if it set you back further as I have read about so many women unable to conceive after coming off pill etc. And I'm sure that kind of thing would not be advisable if you were pregnant and didn't know it yet, after all it is hormone-altering.

It's up to you of course, but I would say a few days without sex on holiday is a price worth paying for keeping your body natural right now (or just do it in the shower )
Of course, you may be pregnant by then anyway! Fingers crossed!

Pah, I've been having cramping for 2 days now and no sign of af... I guess I shouldn't be too impatient - it's exactly 4 weeks since my ERPC today. Still, I wish it would get a move on and arrive - I really want to draw a line under this whole thing so we can start ttc again. sigh

[big deep sigh in reponse to amyboo]

i feel you amyboo i have been having some slightly red tinged mucus for a couple of days now and some sharpish jabs over the last couple of days but still no proper sign of AF....my erpc was 30/4 and like you am anxious to start TTC again. I am unlikely to have ovulated yet aren't i? we have been having very regular 'waxing on' as i like to call it and would love to cling to the tiny flicker of optimism that this may be implanting pains but i realise how pie in the sky that really is ha. Never have i wanted to see AF so much in my life and yet not see her - crikey its confusing being me at the min....

Boodleboot most likely you will ovulate before you start AF, oh hang on maybe not if you had an ERPC (did you bleed after it like a period (well prob wouldn't have been like a period- but I mean has your womb lining been shed so it can thicken up again.

If your ERPC was 29 days ago it is entirely possible you have ovulated. (I ovulated on day 26 after my mmc- found out through temping and weeing on persona sticks and interpreting the result myself as persona wouldn't ask me for the tests!)

Not that I want to nourish tiny flickers of optimism as know how painful they can be when they don't work out. But I am about 11 days ahead of you post MC and I just got another BFP- gulp! so its not impossible.

thandeka i totally bled like a period for about five days and it tailed off over a day just like my periods do...i have been peeing on cheapie ovulation sticks from amazon but have not had anything that looks like a positive line ie that i am ovulating but such a newcomer to all this am not great at 'knowing' my own body yet or anything - always got pregnant 1st time when i have tried before...feel like i have used up my luckyness which i am aware sounds pretty bonkers but i think i have been posting enough for your to get and accept that about this topic {and also BSH cats...} i AM a little bit bonkers...

i would so love it to be a BFP but am totally keeping feet on ground that AF will show up....if she does then so be it {she says through gritted smiling teeth...}

thandeka i totally bled like a period for about five days and it tailed off over a day just like my periods do...i have been peeing on cheapie ovulation sticks from amazon but have not had anything that looks like a positive line ie that i am ovulating but such a newcomer to all this am not great at 'knowing' my own body yet or anything - always got pregnant 1st time when i have tried before...feel like i have used up my luckyness which i am aware sounds pretty bonkers but i think i have been posting enough for your to get and accept that about this topic {and also BSH cats...} i AM a little bit bonkers...

i would so love it to be a BFP but am totally keeping feet on ground that AF will show up....if she does then so be it {she says through gritted smiling teeth...}

This topic makes everyone bonkers so you are in good company. Maybe a bit late this month but I find temping, checking cervix position and mucus checking really obvious ovulation indicators now I have got the hang of it (despite how grim it is - I call it having a rummage or a furkle for fertility and it totally grosses DH out.

At least if AF does show it is a sign body is getting back to "normal" so fingers crossed you know one way or the other as soon and blimming possible as Limbo is EVIL place to be.

Have been reading thread for a while and wondered if I could join too? I had a MMC in Feb and then an ERPC, would have been our 1st dc. Felt like forever before AF turned up, I had a light 5 day bleed 17 days post ERPC, Dr said too soon for AF, but then AF turned up 27 days later so he said first bleed must have been AF. Third AF arrived 32 days later, which is about right for me. We started to TTC last month, although when we found out about MC I was desperate to start right away, but was warned to wait a bit too. It felt like such a long wait. Hope this helps those of you who are waiting for 1st AF.

Should have added, when waiting for 1st AF I felt like it was never going to turn up. Now AF seems to be getting back to normal I so would like to be pregnant again, I keep thinking if it's meant to be it'll happen - but I hope that's soon as I'm 35.

miasieboo - jump on board and get prepared to share intimitate details about your anatomy and its secretions in very graphic detail....

its the waiting that is the hardest....i had somoeone who didn't know about the MMC tell me i look fantastic and glowing today and that the bump should start showing anyday now....ouch, it really hurt....bless him, he is the sweetest old man and my DH should really have filled him in long before now but keeps forgetting as we don't see him very often.....pants. i keep thinking i should be 17 weeks preg now and i am not, its like torturing myself yet i still find myself doing it. still, its getting easier and i find connecting on here with others going through the same feelings really comforting. Identification with other suffering TTC-ers and sharing experiences with you lot is a lovely balm on a very sore soul.

thanks everyone.

It's funny (not) how people can say the wrong thing. In January I told a friend I was pregnant and she replied that friend x will be jealous. But then I had MMC and it turned out that friend x was pregnant all along and is now nearly 30 weeks! If I get lucky again I don't plan to tell anyone - apart from DH! I'll just say I'm getting fat! Sorry if this sounds a bit bitter!

boodleboot - my ERPC was on 30/04 as well. I just saw a new gynae this morning, for a follow-up thing, and he said I should get my period anyday from today onwards. he reackoned I should expect in within 4/5 days, and contact him if it doesn't make an appearance within 2 weeks. I had lots of cramping then brownish discharge last night (sorry if TMI) and then a little what seemed to be red spotting, but then it all went away again. Pah. I'm gonna be on af watch all weekend. How irritating!

amyboo I feel for you, it really is so frustrating just not being able to predict what your body is doing! My first af post-mc was v different to usual; lots of odd twinges, darker blood, weird spotting like you're describing. Try not to worry, just remember your uterus has been through quite a trauma but it will get back to normal

haven't heard from the OP for a bit - mumofbaby is evevrything ok with you?

i am moving this weekend and we take possession of a new little kitten next weekend so all change in our house hold.....distraction is really good sometimes. Am amazed that got DH to agree to a new kitten as we have a 2 kittens under twelve months already.....He even didn't make a sound when i said i was going to spend 300 on the new kitten even tho he swore we were never paying more than 250 (like we did for our russian blue) I guess he can see that i need something other than our kids, new house, very busy full time job and sunday school teaching to occupy my mind and stop me thinkin about TTC!! ha.

how soon after AF finishes should you start taking temp. i am bit confused by temp bit, what should it be when ovulating etc?

You should start temping on day 6, or a couple of days after is fine if af is still in full flow!

If you chart the whole month you should see a clear shift upwards from about day 14 onwards (though I don't ovulate til about day 18/19, but that si the great thing about temping, you will be able to tell, especially if you cross reference with mucus signs)
Mine rises to around 98.4 when I have ovulated and stays up til end of cycle, then drops usually the day before af (it stays up if you are pregnant )

boodleboot any sign of af yet? All signs seem to have vanished for me today big sigh

Boodle- I'm MumofBaby, I swapped names because I like this one better- I'm Michael McIntyre mad.

Is it possible to ovulate staright after AF? AF has just finished but I have all the signs of oculation, the twitches, the egg white etc. A little confused.

Welcome Maisieboo, sorry you've had a hard time. You are joining a lucky thread tho

ahh, i am with you - sorry - completely gazebo-ed....i love him too. very funny.

God knows if you can ov straight after but may i suggest you 'get one in' tonight just incase?! no harm eh.....heck you may even enjoy it!!

totally my cervical mucus was all over the place in cycle after the m/c and in the last couple of weeks...put it down to body getting back to normal. At the mo I'm glugging the grapefruit juice and DH and I are bding every other night... though I'm not being too militant about it to his face, just leeting him believe he's seducing me, haha

grapefruit juice??? what for?? is this a magic potion i don't know about?

is day 1 the day AF start then?

come on cupcake spill...

I thought all MN-ers knew, it is mentioned quite a lot... Apparently grapefruit juice increases your fertile-type cervical mucus (the type that looks clear and more runny) around ovulation time. Hence, the little spermies can travel to the egg more easily. How true it is, who knows...but it's worth a try, even if it does taste vile!

Yep, day 1 is first day of AF. Most women ovulate around day 14 but by temping you can tell if you're earlier or later.

af is here! Thank goodness - I thought I was going to spend the whole weekend on af watch! I hope we can now start to put the last month behind us....