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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Just MC'd. Starting it all again.. Come and join me for the long haul.

1000 replies

MumOfBaby · 01/05/2009 19:11

Hi all.

Needing some extra support this time round as have just had a MC. We are trying again straight away. But I've a feeling it's going to take ages. Got pregnant first month trying last 2 times. I have 1 DC- 11 months.

I want some people to join this thread who are ready to hold hands and help each other through the TTC.

Good luck to all.

OP posts:
boodleboot · 24/08/2009 20:51

ah bummer soz to hear that cheepz....still at least you can focus on the next month....can i big up the pre-seed and suggest it to you all to order.....i fell first month using it....could be coincidence but hey in for a penny in for a pound....i got mine off amazon. meita - can't wait to hear your news either way, it does sound like you have had a puzzling cycle this month but still maintain it aint over til AF is actually here....

waiting - praying that your spotting is implantation related.....xx

apples - how are you doing today? feeling anymore cheerful

mrsR - where are you?? all ok?

thanks totally - have you seen the totally's grads thread in preg we have started? 14wks, so amazing, i heard that your scan was amazing....so happy for you.

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied · 24/08/2009 21:19

No I'll check it out. Been venting a lot on here lately about one thing and another need a chill pill lol.

Has anyone heard from Lucky lately? I know she was going to lay low.. hope she's ok.

Cheepz · 24/08/2009 21:44

bah humbug - cramps and a bad temper - at least its normally over after 24 hours (the worst anyway) at least thats what dh says!

read today about a little boy called joshua who a friend is raising money for - hes 18 months and has a rare aggressive cancer. poor mite has been through so many treatments since he was 4 months old I can't tell you. and when i think what his mother must be going through

had to run to loo in office and cry, then donated 50 pounds because it could have been my little boy

put everything into perspective for me for today. my woes are really very minor

chamoiscreased · 24/08/2009 23:37

Oh stressy that's great news.

cheepz, glad to hear that the wtf is going on cycle is over, onwards and upwards, eh?

No news from me really. Just as I thought I was emotionally a bit better I seem to have been knocked for six again. Today a friend told me she is pregnant, just a couple of weeks ahead of where I would have been. It hurt so much it actually made me feel physically sick though of course I had to be full of congratulations and not vomit on her Is it just me or does the whole world seem to be pregnant at the moment?!
Also had to attend a first birthday party and I really struggled watching the happy family all together. Please someone tell me I won't be this bitter and twisted forever?! I feel really cross at the moment that I got all the way to 11 weeks and have nothing to show for it.
Oh and to top it all DH and I had a bit of a disagreement this evening and he told me he's fed up of hearing about me talking about the m/c. That really made my day...
Hope the rest of you are on a more even keel than I am!
from a slightly unstable chamois x

applesaretheonlyfruit · 25/08/2009 11:40

It's not just you chamo, everyone IS pregnant.

Sounds like your DH is just trying to be practical. Also, he doesn't like it that you are sad, so he thinks it would be better for you if you don't think about it, for your own good. Men can be like that.

When I told my DH I had lost the baby he was sad about it for, maybe, five minutes. Like someone had just squashed a kitten. Then he asked about dinner. We already have two, and he loves them obviously, but it is not the same as the concept of another.

VivClicquot · 25/08/2009 17:11

Hey everyone

I'm grinning like a loon at all the good news on here - I'm really chuffed for you all, and it's making me feel v positive about the future for the rest of us.

So, went for my first wedding dress fitting today and it's gorgeous and amazing and just brilliant. Which is a relief as I had been crapping myself every day since the day I ordered it (Jan 10th!!) that I wouldn't like it when it arrived.

And the extra good news is that it's a lace-up back, so if the baby gods smile down on me between now and November, I'll still fit in it...

In ov news, had a small amount of ewcm this morning so looks like I'm moving in the right direction, cycle-wise.

Anyway, I've written an essay, so much love to all.

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied · 25/08/2009 18:57

Hi Viv- just wanted to let you know I just got married at 3 months gone and had my wedding party at 14 weeks and I fit in my dress as it was lace up back, so you have no worries there.

LeeWT · 25/08/2009 20:41

Oh chamois I know what you mean.. A friend of mine told me she was preg about a month after my mc and we wud have been due within a week of each other.. I was gutted like a punch to the stomach tho I stuck a stupid grin on me!

As for your dh.. I totally agree with apples, he couldn't fix it so therefore it became something with which he couldn't understand.

So please feel entirely entitled to a mumble and grumble!

Xxx

Cheepz · 25/08/2009 21:05

my SIL is due in 10 weeks and wants to meet up to complain about how big an uncomfortable she is - she doesn't know about the mc, and I am just not sure I want to have to deal with it.... cant believe it has been so long since we started trying that she is basically most likely going to have her baby before i am even pg. agree with you chamois it is hard not to feel cross about it and frustrated and dh's generally dont get it.

feeling much better today no cramps, no changing tampon every hour - my first day of AF is so much heavier since having ds.

well when it happens it will happen...... ce la vie

Cheepz · 25/08/2009 21:13

... oh and tuesdays list is.... (just want to not eb on day 1 anymore!!)- still at least its a week before i have to even think about having sex bit of time of before the mid month bonkathon

hers the latest

Meita TTC#1 UCL 30-34 cycle ? CD45
Waiting TTC#1 UCL 26-33 cycle 0 CD33
Chamois TTC#1 UCL ? cycle ? CD28
becky78 TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle 3 CD21
em22 TTC#? UCL 28 cycle 3 CD21
trixel TTC#3 UCL 28-35 cycle 7 CD21
TFLS TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle 1 CD16
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL ? cycle 1 CD?+14
Zayja TTC#1 UCL 24-27 cycle 4 CD13
VivCliquot TTC#1 UCL? cycle 1 CD11
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL 27-28 cycle 1 CD2

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
leewt
boodleboot BFP 21st August
Stressy BFP 22nd August

Meita · 25/08/2009 22:25

Hello ladies,
no news from here. Temp just keeps going down and I'm on CD45 (I think it's either 15 or 17 DPO if indeed I ovulated) and AF really should have arrived at the latest yesterday, but no.
If I weren't charting my temps I'd be POAS like mad and wasting lots of money... but BFPs after temp dropped are virtually unheard of. So I'm thinking something must be wrong with AF and my cycle is just refusing to go back to normal. If AF doesn't arrive by the time I get back home, I think I'll go see someone about it. Until then I'll just keep expecting her to show up at the most inconvenient moment possible.

chamois I was just like you - just when I thought I was getting over the worst, I was knocked back again. I think it was when the shock wore off and the pain started to really kick in. I hope you are all right. Hang on in there, and don't forget that you can always come in here to complain, rant or simply be sad!

tigerbear · 25/08/2009 22:35

Hello everyone, I'm new and just wanted to share my disappointment. I really thought I was going to be pg next month - just had that feeling you get when you think: Oh it's definitely going to be this time!' and DH had been doing the deed at all the right times - have been on holiday and had more time to do it! But then I started to bleed just 10 days after the end of my last period. I'm really confused - could this be a VERY early sort of miscarriage? (Bearing in mind I would have been only about 11 days pregnant?) - Is that possible? Or am I being silly?

waitingisntfun · 25/08/2009 23:16

You can bump my back to the bottom of the list because I have been in the throws of AF pain all day. So much so that I've wanted to punch people all day. Not cool.

I'm with you Tiger - I was convinced I was going to be pregnant again this month. And that it would be like the MC had never really happened. Which is silly now I think about it properly.

I'm sure I'll stop wanting to cry all the time soon

Night all

Meita · 26/08/2009 09:39

Hi all -
looks like AF has finally arrived. Phew.

waiting, as glad as I am that AF has arrived for me, I'm sorry she's paying you a visit too! Initially, just like you, I was desperate to fall pg again as soon as possible. But then I realised that whilst sad, missing a chance to conceive is not really the drama I was making it out to be - not when you put it into perspective... it was the MC that was really painful, losing a little bean. Compared to that, having AF visit seems, well, quite minor really. At least to me. I hope you can manage to deal with it all - give yourself some time, some pampering, you do deserve it!

tiger I don't really understand... are you saying you started bleeding on or about cycle day 17? Do you normally have very short cycles? Is the bleeding heavy, like a regular menstruation bleed? Or is it very light?
If you ovulated early, say on CD 10, then your bleeding could be implantation bleeding. You'd have to wait another week or so and then your regular menses would arrive, or you could do a test.
I can't see how it could possibly be a miscarriage. In order to miscarry, first you need to be pregnant, which in my book is not before implantation occurs.
Over all, it sounds like a very short cycle. If you get those often, you should perhaps talk to your doctor about it. It could be a sign that your luteal phase is too short which could make it hard to conceive.
Our cycles can be very confusing at times. Do you chart your fertility signs at all? That can be helpful to understand what's happening (though it can be even more confusing sometimes too!)

Meita · 26/08/2009 09:44

Wednesday's list

Chamois TTC#1 UCL ? cycle ? CD29
becky78 TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle 3 CD22
em22 TTC#? UCL 28 cycle 3 CD22
trixel TTC#3 UCL 28-35 cycle 7 CD22
TFLS TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle 1 CD17
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL ? cycle 1 CD?+15
Zayja TTC#1 UCL 24-27 cycle 4 CD14
VivCliquot TTC#1 UCL? cycle 1 CD12
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL 27-28 cycle 1 CD3
Waiting TTC#1 UCL 26-33 cycle 1 CD1
Meita TTC#1 UCL 30-34 cycle 1 CD1

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
leewt
boodleboot BFP 21st August
Stressy BFP 22nd August

Cheepz · 26/08/2009 10:21

waiting - I know its tough isn't it - although for me I am just glad to be back into normal cycle so I feel like if it happens this month now it will be on the basis that everything is back to normal as I have had an AF since mc and my body has recovered. I will be dissappointed this month though if we don't manage it. I am not good at the patience element of ttc and it feels like time passes really slowly, but at the same time as if time is passing really fast as months go by and all of a sudden its 3 months later and still no baby!

meita glad AF has arrived - finally - at least now for you you can be back on a more even keel - your system really works - you said it would be 44 days and it was 45 thats pretty impressive! Now for normal cycling again - thanks for bumping me off the bottom of the list! I am on CD 3 already! exciting!

tiger also abit confused about your cycle. Unless your AF was really light in which case that could have been implantation and then this bleed would potentially be an mc assuming you are testing negative. Can you give us some more details - we are all closet cycle experts here

chamo hope you are doing ok and that you are feeling a little better - small steps, thats all we can manage. Look at our list of grads - its getting longer - just goes to show it can happen and does fairly frequently!

everyone else - where are you?! hope you are all doing ok.

tigerbear · 26/08/2009 11:42

Hi Meita and Cheeps, thanks for your messages.
My periods are always very regular and 'normal' (for me anyway, in that they are always about a full 3 weeks apart and last for about 9 days in total). This bleeding seemed odd to me as it started only approx 9 days after the end of the last proper period. We had begun to have sex lots as soon as the proper period has finished.
This bleeding is relatively light, and the blood is a bit darker than normal - almost black (sorry, TMI!).

I haven't done a test.

I'm a total novice, so not familiar with all these new terms - luteal phases, fertility signs, etc! We have only just started TTC properly, if you see what I mean (but not been using any protection since last November).

Cheepz · 26/08/2009 13:14

tiger that does sound abit odd. If you count your cycle from the first day of your last period you would be on about cycle day (CD) 18 9 days of AF and 9 days since you stopped bleeding. Normally ovulation would be around days 12 - 16 (perhaps slightly earlier, orlater) but CD18 is probably too early for implantation bleed unless you ovulated really early, with MC - more likley to be bright red blood than darker.

It might just be some residual blood from your last AF, that would explain it being darker (most likely older). Or could be ovulation spotting but quite late in cycle although that is more browny pink than dark and not so much generally, just a trace.

Sometimes can just be hormonal fluctiation or if you are really 'doing it' alot then you caould have irritated your cervix which could cause it to bleed (has happened to me!)

Has it been going on for days? is it very light or getting heavier? Probably no cause for alarm and is defo too early to be an MC.

Meita · 26/08/2009 14:00

tiger the way I see it your cycles are usually 30 days long (you count from the first day of bleeding to the last day before you start bleeding again. so that's 9 days of bleeding plus 21 days between = 30 days).

The luteal phase is basically the time between ovulation until when the new period (=new cycle) begins. For each woman, this phase is normally always the same length. It can be anywhere between 12 and 16 days long (if it is shorter, which also occurs, it will be increasingly difficult to conceive). So if for you it is 13 days, it is normally always 13 days for you. And if it's 15 days, it should always be 15 days.

So with a 30-day regular cycle your ovulation would be expected to be sometime between cycle day 14 and cycle day 18 (counting from the first day of your last period!).

I reckon from your description that you are now at cycle day 18 or 19. So if your luteal phase is very long and you ovulate on CD14, you would now be 4-5 days past ovulation (DPO). Sometimes but very rarely implantation occurs this soon. And sometimes you do bleed a little with implantation.
So what you are experiencing might be implantation bleeding, but it isn't very likely.
On the other hand, if your luteal phase is short and you ovulate on CD18 (or even later), then you would just about be at ovulation time now - so any bleeding could be associated with ovulation.

Was your last cycle regular and your period bang on time? How is the bleeding progressing?

About fertility signs, I recommend you sign up with www.fertilityfriend.com. When you sign up you get a free online course that explains everything. Some people who have regular cycles always miss their most fertile days because they just assume that they ovulate on CD14, when in fact they may ovulate much later or indeed earlier. Charting your basal temperatures and observing your cervical mucus can give you very useful indications for timing your intercourse succesfully!

Meita · 26/08/2009 14:15

cheepz you're welcome (the bumping off the bottom of the list bit) I for one am glad I'm not stuck at the top anymore ;-)

My "system" is simply that I've worked out from comparing the last 4 cycles that my luteal phase must probably be 14 days long. According to myNFP.de which is a very good, but German language fertility and charting website, ovulation can be sometime from two days before and one day after the temperature surge which can be clearly observed. Usually my period starts bang 14 days after the temperature surge, but sometimes it's up to two days earlier or one day later, so that fits nicely and would indicate that I usually get the temp surge on the day I ovulate but sometimes only two days after ovulation.

This time my temp surge was not absolutely clear but given my best guess, yesterday would have been 14 days later.
This works pretty well for predicting my periods which is useful when you have irregular cycles! And for knowing when it's worth testing. But unfortunately it's not much use at all for timing the BD bit - CM is the key here!

thefatladyscreams · 26/08/2009 15:48

meita - glad you at least save on the cost of tests. You'd have left your own little "stick" mountain in Switzerland otherwise!

Welcome tigerbear. I'm assuming you've had a m/c before? I was just wondering if it was recent and whether that might have affected your normally regular cycles? I'm another fan of Fertility Friend - they send you regular email tutorials breaking it into bitesize chunks.

waiting - oh I'm sorry you've hit a low patch. I find life is a series of highs and lows at the moment. And you're right apples - even half the cast of EastEnders seem to be pregnant Well done for dealing with your friend's news chamois - it must have been really painful but it's one more hurdle out of the way IFKWIM.

vivC - great news re the dress. Are you organised for November?

I'm getting sulky (warning - teenage tantrum coming on). I've had 11 days in a row of a high reading on the Clearblue monitor and no sign of a Peak reading. I want to ovulate, I want to get pregnant, I want a BFP and I want it NOW! [TFLS stamps her foot, looks petulant and stomps off pretending to look mature]. And it's raining.....

Right strop over, as you were.

boodleboot · 26/08/2009 19:13

hello all

just wanted to pop in and say hi to you ...i am in the pants/ pre midwife bit now of panicking every day that this preg is going to end badly....it certainly doesn't get any less worrying when you actually GET pregnant....i spent so long focusing on the TTC part of it that i hadn't considered what a huge weight of responsibility it is when you actually do fall....

really hoping to see some of you girlies come and join us on the grad thread this month.....xxxxxxxxxx

waitingisntfun · 26/08/2009 19:20

Thank you for all being so nice. It's been another crappy day - my friend at work told me she's just found out she's 10 weeks pregnant - which would be how pregnant I would have been Which means that everyone I know who wants to be pregnant is and none have had a MC. I feel like I'm the statistic that keeps them all happily conceiving. It's so good to know it's not just me

barrenbrook · 26/08/2009 19:23

Hello all,

Is it OK if I join you? I m/c in Jan at about 6 weeks (had just had Mirena coil removed and wasn't sure of my cycles) Initially I was told it was a molar pregnancy but thankfully after a couple of months of tests I was told it was actually a 'normal' m/c and we could try again.

We've been ttc again since May 09 and as yet nada, have used a Clearblue Fertility Monitor for the first time this month and am currently on CD17 of a usual 28. What I have discovered is that I ovulate earlier than I thought as I had peaks on Days 9 and 10 and highs either side.

Anyway, nice to meet you all, sorry for the ramble!

Kate

becky78 · 26/08/2009 19:26

Hi girls, just checking in as not much to report my end - 2ww at the mo and no symptoms to speak of so not getting my hopes up yet (had some stomach cramps today but think that was a result of over indulging with popcorn at the cinema last night!!)

boodle & stressy - whoo hoo!! So happy for you both, hope everything is going well and that you ca balance the worry of it going wrong with the happy news that you actually managed to get past the first step

meita, cheepz and waiting, sorry AF got you but like you all said at least you know where you are at now.

trixel are you still out there?

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