Just MC'd. Starting it all again.. Come and join me for the long haul.

[MumOfBaby]

Hi all.

Needing some extra support this time round as have just had a MC. We are trying again straight away. But I've a feeling it's going to take ages. Got pregnant first month trying last 2 times. I have 1 DC- 11 months.

I want some people to join this thread who are ready to hold hands and help each other through the TTC.

Good luck to all.

Trixel - ds is 2+1 and full of beans, had fairly easy and uneventful pregnancy with him and he happened before we started trying in earnest so I was very lucky, this time around we have had to do the waiting (well I say we but its me basically as dh oblivious to monthly sycles etc) and now with the suspected mc (am seeing dr later today) dh is way less invested - hadn't had to mentally start preparing for pregnancy and thought about timescales and so on so he is abit less affected by it all

TFLS - since mc is happening and is 1st one i am not sure whats going to happen with my cycle but what i have read in last 24 hrs would indicate that 2 weeks after you stop bleeding you are likely to ovulate ahead of next AF. But don't know if that is just guestimate or fact.

Feeling abit less upset this morning although did burst into tears in the office when making appointment to see doctor and had to say mc word out loud, managed to hide it with a yawn and then carry on nodding into the phone with head down until had regained composure enough to bluff my way through th day again

So good to be able to talk about it so thanks all for being here

so its confirmed
went to early pregnancy unit and they tested me a BFN which combined with early stage and scale of bleeding = mc
they didn't do a scan or exam
am feeling better to know one way or the other - the uncertainty was awful

Cheepz - so sorry to hear it. But I understand the feeling of at least knowing. It's so hard when you know it's probably over but still cling to that little bit of hope.

One thing I read was to watch your iron levels - just in case you feel really tired. Have you gone back to work or are you taking some time off?

amyboo - we need you to hang around and sparkle some of your dust over us! Seriously, I hope the next few weeks fly by for you.

TFLS - back in the office - feel ok - would only mope around at home - more emotionally tired than physically, will taake multivitamins for a while to be sure and keep iron levels up.

just waved bye bye to my Due March thread, feeling good to read back through Amyboo's posts

am worried that when i get pregnant again i will be way more anxious as a result of this - I never really worried about ms before ....

cheepz - sorry to hear you had your mc confirmed. Hope you're not feeling too exhausted by it all. I sometimes can't believe how fervently I tried NOT to get pregnant for the last 10 years. I always thought it would be easy... no one tells you about all this crap.

Although my story hasn't ended happily yet, I'm really hoping it does this time. I don't think I could take another mc, especially not so late again... Have a gynae appointment for next Wednesday. Only 9 days to go

Ok so I have no read up the whole thread and can see that you guys are on one hell of a rollercoaster!

Lucky - reading your track through the thread pains me - so sorry - so difficult

So you know who I am - I think I am now the oldest 36 - alhtough 37 on Aug 6th so getting on abit, have one ds who is 2 and a sweetheart. have been with dh 9 yrs, married 5 and we are happy most of the time although I have to be completely silent about all ovulation signs as it throws him well off his stride if he thinks its a now or never moment

we had been trying for 3 months since i cam off the pill, was 3 months after i came off the pill last time as well but that was more of an accident as i was not counting days or using persona - which i am now and use it along with other natural signes to tell when ovulating - i get terrible mid cycle cramps so it is normally obvious

dh and I only plan to have 2 so this would have been our last, I know 1 mc does not mean its never going to happen but since I am still bleeding there is a long wait for me before we can try again it feels like a daunting prospect - doesn't help having 37th birthday looming as it make me wonder if my eggs are all old and defective!

looking forward to riding your rollercoaster - you all see very supportive of each other and thats a wonderful thing to see at such a difficult time

cheepz - must have been sad leaving your DueMarch thread. I can outdo you in age though - I'm 40 so you're a spring chicken in comparison!

amyboo - wish I could think of some reassuring mantra for you to chant to yourself for the next 9 days. Oh for a time machine.

horrah my af has arrived - 1st one after mc...so can get back on the bandwagon as and when I like...I am a teacher so really want to avoid a summer born baby - but would settle for no more mc TBH

have now become mc research fanatic, want to know why, want to know how, want to know whether its best to wait a while or start straight away, want to know what to eat to minimise risk - maximise chances - am such a control freak ....

Congrats to you amy - SO pleased for you!!! . Beanie dust our way please!!

Sorry to hear AF here boodle know what you mean re facing BD again. When we were trying with bean which ended in mmc it took four months to get preg and got to be a bit of a chore tbh. Am sure will happen for you soon. Lots of positive vibes your way.

Fingers crossed on your 2ww trixel I'm on CD9 but have no idea what cycle length is (v variable in past) so have AGES to go yet. Shag plan only just underway but am trying to be v laid back about it and just think what will be will be (but ask me again in a couple of weeks when I'm doing my nut symptom spotting - or not!!)

Hi cheapz sorry you're here but I've found it's REALLY helped me to cope having all the lovely ladies share thoughts and support so you'll be back on track in no time.

Hi cazzy am with you on that. Although I'm desperate for DC#2 I now don't care when it happens as long as it does and it sticks this time

cazzybabs - that's good news. At least you know where you are now.

cheepz - I share your obsession.

My recent purchases in the last week include: gratefruit juice, pregnancy testing kit (to check my hormone levels have dropped), ovulation testing kit, take control of your fertility book and baby aspirin. I am very sad ! (slinks off thread in shame....)

Can you believe i have been toying with the idea of buying Clomid online...its only been three months of trying after the erpc but its getting harder each month with AF arriving... I know i am just being impatient and that babys aren't mail order but i really wanted to fall this month so i can have maternity leave off work from march and have the six months over the summer off with my children. i am finding it really hard this year with the summer holidays and me full time working same as DH....i am missing out their summer and REFUSE to let that happen next yr...i feel really really today. if i was a colour i would be greige...

the lady at work who is preg with my due date {still cannot believe the chances of that...} looks so lovely and fat and pregnant and it is killing me more as she gets more pregnant and another month bites the dust for me...

phew....haven't felt sooo negative for ages. I really hope that you are all feeling better than i do today....i'm sorry for being such a chump...

Boodle - I am a chump right there with you, sister in law is pregnant with big blooming bump and they want us to lunch on sunday - I never told them was pg as was so early so they don't know but cant face seeing her right now

Must be so hard trying and waiting - took us 3 months of ttc with last time and each time af arrived felt more and more desparate - i am sure it will be even more challenging now

had to cancel all meetings at work today as was hard to talk without sounding tearful and all upset but all deferred to tomorrow when am hoping will be feeling abit stronger

bleeding seems to be abit lighter already - was pouring earlier (tmi i know) but is abit less full on, cramps are worse though and i have a stitch most of the time

was wondering - does anyone know when you can start excercising again after mc - am missing my treadmill endorphines... need something to make me feel better

boodle - when I was desperate for dd3 after 2 mc I bought pre-seed - sperm friendly lubricant...I used it once and got pregnant...I can't make any claims for its effectiveness other than that one time...but might be worth a try?

You're not chumps !!! It's just a really crappy time. I was trying to comfort a friend today who's having a hard time at work. She's similar due date to what I would have been and halfway through I just burst into tears and had to confess that I found it really hard to talk to her nowadays - so much for me being a mate to her!!

I thought I was over it all and it just all came flooding back.

Can you talk to your GP boodle just to make sure hormone levels are where they are supposed to be etc? I would suggest that before trying any online alternatives! I'm sure they'd do blood tests if you wanted them. I asked for some after 3 months just to reassure me. Doc said they wouldn't usually do anything after such a short time but my argument was that they are only blood tests and I'd rather find out sooner rather than later if my levels are off or if I wasn't ovulating / ovulating way later than I thought - worth a try? Don't lose hope yet.

I'm going to try the reverse psychology on myself of "bah, not that fussed" and see if that makes any difference because looking at my little diary over the past 6 or so months it's clear I was completely obsessed and I really don't want to go there again.

cheapz I was told to wait until bleeding stopped before exercising again

hey girls,
cheepz - completely there with you on the gym thing. when i had my mmc last march, at 12wks, i went in whilst i was still bleeding. i checked with the doctor first (just on the phone) and they said fine. i did find that the bleeding was starting to tail off, and then would start up again after a session, then tail off and start again afterwards. the doc said on the phone that there was perhaps a blood vessel that wasnt quite closed off and heightened heart rate was of course pumping the blood more. i just had to take it a bit steady for a few days and it soon stopped.
boodle - just wish i could make this happen for you. a brilliant description of your mood colour! when would your due date have been? will your colleague be buggering off on mat leave soon? it would be nice if you didnt have to see her every day.
TFLS - , not sad at all!! grapefruit juice is supposed to help with EWCM isnt it? what dosage aspirin is it that we're supposed to have? i keep wondering about getting some of that for as and when i do catch on, but i get worried that we're not supposed to take it whilst trying to conceive. is that right?
stressy - are you using anything like the clearblue fertility monitor to give you some idea when you're ovulating? i find it really helps me, when my cycle seems to have chosen this particular time to go from a clockwork type pattern to a ridiculous 28-35 day variable!
hi cazzy - sorry to hear about your mc. how far along were you? good that you can get on with it now. fingers crossed for you.
amy - brilliant that you've got the gynae appointment lined up. now it's a case of trying to keep your mind off it until then. (hmmmmmm, easier said than done i know....). and don't you even think about leaving this thread young lady!
phew, think i've typed for england tonight!
hey - how's totally? where have you gone?
lucky - thinking of you. x

Trixel - thanks! I was 15 weeks.

crossed posts with you stressy - your advice is probably better, for cheepz to wait until stopped bleeding. i was just a bit obsessed with the idea of getting back in there and doing something that was just about me, blahdiblah. it made me feel better and the doc said that was a good thing in itself, so was fine.
oh cazzy, 15 weeks is hard. not that there's ever a good time of course.... how are you feeling emotionally?

thanks trixel - snuck out to gym (we have one set up at end of garden in outhouse) to spend half an hour doing some incline walking on the treadmill, nothing too strenuous as was making me cramp up a little but it helps with the tension, also did some punching on the boxing bag which is also good release

no tears tonight, even when talking to dh about it so am feeling more stable, did give ds more hugs and am tempted to go creep into bed and hold him all night - but have not been through months of nightmare sleep training to bugger it up just because I want to hold him close for right now. Sure makes you appreciate what you have got

back to work tomorrow - had to tell team today that had had bad news and didn't want to talk about it hence odd behaviour (subdued, quiet, teary, etc) but none of them know we are trying so will say its a family situation and leave it at that.

stressy - hard not to be obsessed but i found using persona has helped me stop frantically counting days and checking dates and so on because it counts for you and even tells you the two days you are most likely to ovulate - since i get cramps and know anyway i can vouch that it is pretty accurate

right off to bed shortly need to rest and get my head straight for work tomorrow. good news is i had arranged to take a friend away thursday overnight for her birthday - shopping and dinner in bath with a lie in at a fancy hotel to boot, no dh's no kids, will be a relaxing time for me to just be away from it all too so glad to only have a short work week to deal with

nighto

that sounds like just what the doctor ordered cheepz - although i couldnt quite work out how you were going to have dinner in the bath with your friend at first!!
glad you're feeling a bit stronger, and that you'll be able to deal with it at work.
night x

cazzy - 15 weeks must have been awful for you. I lost mine at 13 weeks, and that was bad enough. Sending you lots of hugs. Hope you're feeling OK and not too down.

boodle please whatever you do don't buy clomid from the internet. I work for the EU in the customs department, and we really try to stop people buying medicines online, as 9 times out of 10 what you're buying is counterfeit and doesn't have any active ingredients in it, even though it looks like the real thing.... I know it's hard, but please try and stay positive.

cheepz - I started swimming again a few days after my ERPC, when I was only spotting, so I reackon the gym is fine if you feel up to it.

trixel - Don't worry I'm not going anywhere! I'm far too nervous about jinxing things to go anywhere near an antenatal thread! I'm just going to hide in here for a while.

amyboo am hoping for bleeding to be sufficiently light that I can take ds swimming Saturday as we go every week and he loves it, but they said not to use tampons so not sure if there is still some bleeding whether it will be ok to use one just for the hour -any ideas?

your job sounds pretty interesting, mind you I work in IT so most other peoples jobs sound interesting to me, but you must come across all sorts in your area of work

glad you are staying put, will be great to hear how you are getting on and we can all be rooting for you

trixel yes should have put Bath not bath, but will be great to have girls time away, she is one of the few people I had told so I can talk to her if I need to as well which is great.

work not so bad today, got alot on which is keeping my mind occupied hope everyone else is going ok today

Cheepez - they advice no Tampons because of the risk of infection because your cervix is open...it may be fine or it it may not and you could get an infection ...

I guess it depends upon wether you are a risk taker or not? Could you dh not take him?

don't want to take any chances so if still bleeding will see if granny can go in with him - dh is away this weekend and we are having work done on the house so we will have granny time

not worth it, and if cervix open don't really want to risk swimming pool water as might get infection from that! thanks

Hi everyone.

stressyhead - I'm going to try and copy your laid back (even if you're pretending ) attitude. When I got pregnant last time we were very laid back about it to the point that it slowly dawned on me that I should take a test when AF was late. Oh for those days of innocence!

boodleboot - hope you're feeling a bit better today. You are certainly no chump - or else we all are . It must be hard working with your colleague as a constant reminder. If your GP is funny about doing bloods for you, maybe consider having them done privately (but I've no idea how much this costs) rather than buy stuff unknown off the internet. I'm thinking of talking to my GP about this (only had 1 m/c but I'm 40 so time is not on my side) so would be interested to hear how you get on if you take that route.

cheepz - hope you're feeling stronger today. It does gradually get better. Your break sounds great.

trixel - I read about the aspirin on Mumsnet and was planning to talk to my GP first. But from what I understand yes you shouldn't take it whilst TTC. The normal dose is 300 but you should take the baby aspirin ones at 75 once pregnant. I saw it on my supermarket fertility dash so it went in the trolley along with everything else just in case! I know I've lost the plot before anyone feels the need to point it out! The good news is that I did a pregnancy test yesterday and got a negative (bizarre to write that but at least I know where I am).

Finally some sunshine here today - hope it's shining on you all.