Ignoring the LIES, DAMNED LIES, and STATISTICS: Fiesty & Fabulous 40+ers TTC

[xserialshopper]

Open to all 40+ers TTC.

We're friendly - not cliquey (sp?) and would love to know you{smile]

I got pg at 42, fairly easily actually so if your eggs are in good shape then suspect you don't have much to worry about.

Fertility drops really sharlply in our 40s though which I guess explains why I got pg easily at 42 but am finding it alot harder at 45.

Good luck though - and welcome!

Took loads of baby stuff to a car boot at the weekend. The first time I had done one and definitely the last. If I'd had a £1 for everyone who'd said "It's lovely but I've got a boy" it would have been worth my while as it was I made £19 (after taking off entry fee).

Still got quite a bit left but was getting hacked off by people who felt a worn once £25 quid outfit from Next was lovely but only worth 50p. Can't get my head round that Plus everyone seemed to assume you were a trader coming every week and asking things like "Do you stock stuff for 2 year olds?"

Have arranged to donate a bag of various bits to DDs nursery plus a bath seat which will make their lives easier (it did ours). They asked why I was getting rid of it and did I not want to save it for a DC2 but I told them that I'd been told I couldn't have any more. They were nice about it and I stayed calm and composed. Don't know about everyone else but I usually find people being nice is the thing that will get you crying everytime. So I guess I must be moving on a bit mentally.

Like the idea of the STTC thread but would have to keep lurking here to see how everyone was getting on and hopefully there wouldn't be too many of us on the STTC thread. [Fingers tightly crossed for some more BFPs]

Good luck Rowing - hope the trip goes well.

Welcome Jardins - good luck, you're a baby compared to some of us

BTW VSF I ate parma ham throughout my pg without problems. I think it was an older mum thing of getting exasperated by the list of things you had to avoid, especially when actual incidences of problems with most of it are so rare.

I think were miracles to happen I'd probably end up ignoring most of the advice anyway as I'm convinced most of it is utter tosh and likely to be contradicted by the a new set of government guidelines anyway sooner or later. Rant over

Fifi it is tough. I think I'm getting my head round it but then it's early days of new cycle. No doubt in a couple of weeks it'll be back to the symptom spotting torment again

Yes, if I haven't had toxoplasmosis after 20 years of cat ownership and being fed lots of raw beef as a child, I must be immune anyway...

How's everyone else at the moment? It's all gone a bit quiet round here!

Maybe the sunshine is driving everybody away from their laptops! The simple reason I'm being quiet is that I have nothing to report as am awaiting the return of the prodigal DH on Saturday night from his new long distance job. He'll be around until Tuesday afternoon. I'm on CD 4 soooo..... Saturday CD7, Sunday CD8, Monday CD9 (I'm away in Paris for the day) and Tuesday CD 10. We'll be cutting it a bit fine but beggars cannot be choosers.

What d'ya think?

Maybe the sunshine is driving everybody away from their laptops! The simple reason I'm being quiet is that I have nothing to report as am awaiting the return of the prodigal DH on Saturday night from his new long distance job. He'll be around until Tuesday afternoon. I'm on CD 4 soooo..... Saturday CD7, Sunday CD8, Monday CD9 (I'm away in Paris for the day) and Tuesday CD 10. We'll be cutting it a bit fine but beggars cannot be choosers.

What d'ya think?

Whoops: looks like I've sent a double serving here. Sorry

all depends on your cycle - do you know when you ovulate? For some reason, since my last m/c I've ov'd on day 11, so your schedule would be perfect for me!

Ah my cycle! Bearing in mind this period has been 1st post mc (but rather normal in all respects), normally I'm around 27 days.

How's everything going with you vonsudenfed?

Hello I'm still here and have started the OPKs this yet!!! Clearly NOT thinking of packing it in this cycle. Oh dear, another month of torment.

Hi all,
just checking in briefly to say, we are off tomorrow morning early, should be sleeping now.
Oh well
There is internet access at the apartment so I will be checking up on you all and making sure you aren't using too many OPKs (Fifi).

Good luck rowing!!!!! Will be thinking of you - and looking forward to the update.

Jardins: I'm OK, I think. I'm trying to work out what is going on for me - as far as I can tell, I am getting pregnant at the very least one cycle out of two (my giant bust goes like a rock at the first sniff of hormones) but they're never lasting more than 2 or 3 days past my normal cycle length. I have no idea why, probably just gyppy old eggs. But I'm off to the doctor today to try and rule out infection/hormonal imbalance/thyroid problems/whatever. DH and I have decided that we won't go for IVF, so it's in the lap of the gods really if the dr finds nothing, as I suspect she won't.

And in the meantime, I am trying to pretend that I don't care and organising lots of things (buying a bike, saving for holidays) that will be useless if I do get pregnant). For about three quarters of the month I almost manage to kid myself, and then my period comes and I realise that it's not working!

How about you - I saw you on a couple of the m/c threads. It's shocking how miserable it makes you, isn't it - unimaginable until it happens to you.

Right, must dash to meeting.

Dear Vonsudenfed,

I know where you are coming from re: buying a bike and carrying on 'regardless'.

You know I've just worked out that for the past 10 months or so my body (and my mind) have been in limbo. Part of me harks back to my thirties and wants to recapture that slim, dynamic (steady on: not that dynamic!!!) woman, the other has been slowing down, putting on a couple of kilos and really feeling like being maternal again. Does that make sense to you? It's the whole uncertainty thing again. I keep putting time limits down, say: 'I'll give it another six months and then I'll resign myself to being (perfectly) satisfied with my lot'. I really feel it's now or never, which might sound pathetic but there you go.

I think going through a m c changes a woman's mindset. I'm not sure how exactly as it's still too recent for me to figure out how it has affected me but I do feel different.

Anyway, it's so sunny here in France: I guess it is in UK too? I hope so.

Madly busy at work so am just popping on to say a quick hello, and to Rowing - Are you there yet?

Good luck Rowing! Ha I've used 3 already and still no sign of the surge. Must wean myself off!

Hello - just popping in to say "hi" and I'm still here and still TTC even though I pretend I'm not iyswim.

Having a lovely time sitting out in the garden enjoying the sun having been formally told this morning that my "role is at risk of redundancy" No real chance of finding anything else and I'm not sure if I'm or at this stage. At least I should get a reasonable payout and part of me is thinking that it clears the way for a big effort on the TTC front between now and the end of the year which would coincide with my 45th birthday.

So... my question to you more experienced ladies is what should I do next re TTC? Up until now we've been letting nature take its course. I don't want to go down the IVF front but if I went to my GP what might she suggest - or would she laugh me out of the room?

I was tempted to buy some OPKs until I saw the price and wondered how many I would get through in a month - Fifitot, I think you're answering that question for me.

YOu can get internet cheapies though - try Access Diagnostics or ebay. Cheaper than the ones in Boots! You should use them from about day 10 but I know I dont' tend to ov until about day 17 so use about 3-5 usually.

I would be too scared to tell my Doc that I am TTC at 45 (which I am!). Told her at 41 and she sighed so lord knows what she would say now. She did send me for the various tests though so yours might do that which would tell you if everything working and what state your eggs are in. DP would have to do a sample too though.

Well, I went to the dr today - not my usual one, our surgery is quite big and one of them specialises in fertility issues. No laughter or sighing at all, in fact she took me perfectly serious and was v lovely.

She didn't think I was too old at 43, and was quite happy to talk it all through. Sooo, I am having two sets of bloods (one at day 21, one at day 3, she did explain why but I can't remember) and these will also check for infections and clotting issues. Once that is done, we see what they say and take it from there.

Rockdoctor - I'm in just the same position as you, we won;t go for IVF but I just didn't want to discover, too late, that there was a reason for it and we could have done something. And I am sure you will find something else - even if different. I know what you mean about being in two minds - I'd love redundancy even though it would be v difficult also!

And yes, lovely and sunny here!

Hi everyone

Well I'm in the two week wait and have no symptoms to symptom spot have been rushed off my feet last 2 days (alton towers yesterday and dd 7th birthday today) and not been in the least tired and boobs just the same as always before af - so not in the least optomistic - of course the romantic bit of me thinks perhaps I am - but reality I think will speak very differently - lol!

I hope everyone else is doing well and send you all lots of pma! Rowing I hope everything goes well for you over there.

xx

Morning All !

Been a bit MIA again due to too much work ! Oh well at least I am not Oving this week. last time that happpened it made everything a little difficult !

Well AF found me, surprise surprise (not) !

Good news (I think) is been back to the docs and we have a plan. I'm going to be on the clomid as of my next cycle, the one starting in late April/early May. After reviewing my tests its looks as if there is some mileage in trying to 'encourage' things along. Sort of give the ovaries a poke time !

VSF I was in exactly your position 3 months ago. I'm the same age as you. Having had all the tests I sort of feel like I know where I am - one good ovary and one not playing, old eggs but not hopelessly old, diminished ovarian reserve but still with something to work with. And as you say, I know there is nothing which is easily correctable which is stopping this from happening. It sort of made me feel I was taking control a bit ! Good luck and its great that your doc was sympathetic !

Rowing Hope all going well there, and you are getting some relaxation time as well as the 'business' stuff !

Hi to all you other lovely ladies, and welcome jardins !

Will post report on acupuncture tomorrow !

ONly 4 more posts and we need a new thread! Come on someone think of a good title that will give us all good luck!

Good luck Beam for the acupuncture. Joining you in the 2ww, Dixie. Not holding my breath, though. Good thread title? Heavens, am not feeling at all clever today. Will have a think, though ...

Hi girls

Spiral (empathy icon) about carbooting all your lovely baby stuff. Brave girl. Isn't it shit when people want your gorgeous stuff for nowt? I had a shock like that when I did a car boot. I was selling some really nice stuff (an expensive and sentimental suede skirt comes to mind) and I remember giving it away for a song towards the end . I dunno if I'd be strong enough to do it with baby stuff - yet.

Jardins - sorry about your MC. I really understand what you mean about your life being in limbo. So many things I've turned down and not enjoyed myself "just in case" and "what ifs". feels like wasted time to me now.

I'm just wondering re the ladies who use OPK's. I've never done but I did buy one of these which I've started using again now on the clomid. I had thought it wasn't working but I now realise it was ME who wasn't Ovulating so nothing was registering! Wondered if it might interest any of you as it's a one-off single payment and you can use it forever and probably flog it after? Not at the bloody car boot though

Glad your doctor was nice VSF - what a change.

Oh jeepers, just seen the need for new thread.. (scratching head but no-one at home icon)...

Sorry I haven't consulted anyone or done a democratic vote on what a new thread should be called but instead I just panic-ed as we were up to 1000 posts and just created a new one here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/744534-Feisty-amp-Fabulous-at-40-the-continuing-adventures-of-TTC?rn d=1240601550393

(Ducks)

Hope that's OK?

Anyone with a drop of imagination please go ahead and re-do one with a better name if you want! xx

I'm afraid I haven't read this thread, but please someone tell me I am crazy to feel broody at the ripe old age of 44! (I've probably come to the wrong place for that, haven't I).