Ignoring the LIES, DAMNED LIES, and STATISTICS: Fiesty & Fabulous 40+ers TTC

[xserialshopper]

Open to all 40+ers TTC.

We're friendly - not cliquey (sp?) and would love to know you{smile]

Hello, pea! Have just found and read that Independent article online - do you think the author is trying to scare us by accompanying the article with a large photo of an older mother with her son who has Down Syndrome? If so, it has backfired for me - he's gorgeous, isn't he?

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-wellbeing/health-news/the-baby-clock-birth-survey -has-reignited-debate-on-delayed-motherhood-1038871.html

Bloody Indepenent. Tell us something we don't know! Yes older women getting pregnant carries more risks...zzzzzzzzzzzz.

What gets me is that it assumes older mothers or women wanting to be older mothers are all these high flying career women who have delayed motherhood for selfish reasons. Instead of generally being normal women who haven't found men who want kids, or are in second relationships or just want to try for a baby!!!!

Hear hear, fifi

Also, the author is a man, quelle surprise.

Well said fifi - that seems to apply to the majority of us.
I'm interested in the New York idea herb - I have the same deal with Barcelona! 2 pg in the last 2 yrs, both courtesy of Barcelona. Sadly both MC, so now thinking I need another short break destination to lift the jinx. In fact, we are going to Prague next weekend (we booked it months ago, but by chance it ought to be my fertile time, so hey!)

Do you mind if I join in here? My stats for whoever next updates the list:
Rainbowdays - age 40 ttc#4

I would be great to be on a list where I am one of the youngest rather than one of the oldest!

I have a 7 month old ds and only been trying properly for a couple of months, but would love a small gap like I had with my first two.

'Course you can join Rainbow

How old are your other 2 then?

Hi can I join - Im 40 in January ttc #1? Had 2 MC.

Herbaceous I was interested in your Asprin comment. I have heard of this but have seen mixed opinions on it. Would you mind sharing with me the dosage, when you started taking it - when you got your BFP of before? I seem to have a problem at week 8 (lost both pregnancies at that stage) Congratulations - wishing you a fuss free pregnancy.

Hi to everyone else...
amelied

D'oh - sorry I meant Tabitha8 re: Asprin.

My shyness of asking to join got the better of me!!

Herbaceous loved the Wipe of Doom comment - made me smile...

Hi amelied and welcome

I don't know how often Tabitha lurks now that she's preggi, so you may have to track her down on one of the pregnancy threads Or you can search for her original posts as she joined us sometime in the summer and got her BFP quite quickly. She was posting as Tabitha88 then.

Fertility Fiend are you due around the 9th/10th? I'm on my 2ww. I started a new 2ww thread (slaps wrist) but MN has already got a 'august baby' and 'sept baby' threads so I may join one of them (((since noone posted on my thread)))

xserialshopper - many thanks for the tip on Tabitha8 - will see if I can track her down in the style of Miss Marple!!

Hello and welcome, amelied and rainbow, you pair of young whippersnappers!

LOL, xserial, at no-one posting on your thread. I tried to start one once and nearly got mown down by the tumbleweed and deafened by the silence

Hello ladies, I lurk every couple of days, but got a bit overwhelmed with the seriously huge last thread.
Quick update, have been ttc#2 for 11 months now, had a 5 week mc in October and back in the saddle again, currently on cd36 with bd right on ov days and a few others in the week up to ov. I have a very irregular cycle so could be on the 2ww but cant pluck up the courage to test yet.
I promise to keep up this time round with everyone, oh and I am now 42.

Hi all welcome amelied and rainbow.
TTC # 4 - don't know how you do it with a 7 month old.
Not much happening here (I mean with us). Apart from having to give my cat away because DP is allergic. He is such a funny cat and a real character so feeling sad - he's my fur baby. Luckily, my mum agreed to rehome him if things didn't work out, so at least we can still see him.
Did you flounce Xserial, when nobody replied?
I think I am due AF on the 27th, anyone else?
Forgot to take the agnus castus yesterday and by the end of the day I felt so much better than I have for ages. It could just be hormonal, but really fed-up with agnus castus and the effect it seems to have on my mood.

Hello all, I've been v busy at work, then was away on holiday, then busy at work again, but am back. Have thought about you all, and wondered how you were getting on. It seems like everyone I know is pregnant with their second or third at the moment, which pleases me enormously for them, and I genuinely mean that, but makes me feel very sad for me. And I don't really like feeling that way.

TBH, I was trying to put the whole TTC thing out of my mind to take the pressure off, even stopped charting in the hope that if I didn't think baby baby baby every day, that I'd be a little more relaxed about the whole thing. However, AF arrived bang on time on Friday (sigh) so you can add me to the list, KiwiKat 42, ttc#2.

HI thank you for the welcomes.

Xserialshopper - my other two darling children are age 5 and 4. If I had been younger starting out I would have left a bigger gap between planned first two children and second two children, but as a late starter to parenthood, I had to settle for smaller gap. What age is your dc?

rowingboat - I am due af about 15th Dec, but currently working on a big effort to not have it then !!!!

There are so many here, it might take me a while to get to know you all....

Sussexoldspot you have made me laugh

Giggly great to have you back (you know what I mean). Sooooo sorry about your mc, it must have been devasting. Fingers crossed for your next cycle.

Rowing I decided to keep the thread going and see if I could make a 1000 posts all by myself Luckily FertilityFiend decided to join me before I descended into madness Any luck with your clinic dates yet?

Hiya KiwiKat. I know what you mean about trying not to focus every second of the day on ttc. Sometimes I tell myself that I?m going to stay off Mumsnet ? but, as you can see, that doesn?t really work

Rainbowdays I have one ds aged 6 (7 next year). He?s gorgeous. Don?t worry about getting to know us all, it will all fall into place soon.

Hi everyone - it's great to see so many people here, and hello to our new joiners (was going to say "new arrivals" but I guess that's what we're REALLY after ).

Can I propose a suggestion? It seems to me that we're all at different stages of our fertility journey - some attempting IVF, others chlomid, others (me, until now) just hoping for luck, some clued up on alternatives (this was inspired by the aspirin comments). It would be really helpful to me, and maybe others, if we could all share now in brief what we're doing and why and when, so that if there are good ideas around that any of us don't know about, we can gain that information. Of course, best of all, let's hear from lurkers that it's WORKED for!

Maybe we could just all do brief entries under the following headings (or whatever else comes to mind):

• Clinics, consultants, general orthodox medical/fertility stuff - who, what, where, why?

• Alternatives - reflexology, acupuncture, grapefruit, cough syrup, aspirin etc etc - again when, how often, why etc?

• Anything else you can think of?

What do you think, anyone with me on this as an idea for all of us? I will go first, if there's a general consensus that we could all benefit.

I agree with you completely grownup, what a great idea. I certainly feel it would be of benefit to me

rowing just a quick one - were you recommended agnus castus by a homeopath? I remember reading about it some time back after mc #2 and asked a colleague at work, who is also a homeopath, whether it would be a good thing for me. She pulled a face and said 'only if you're going through the menopause and even then it's strong stuff'. I'd be really interested to hear whether you think it has made any difference to you?

Was using AC for a couple of months, as so many people had recommended it, but no results for me, I'm afraid. Undecided whether to give it another go or not.

My story

I got married when I was 34. Didn't start ttc for my ds until I was 35. I had 1 mc after getting caught the 1st month of ttc. After mc we waited 1 month then tried again and caught on 1st attempt. This effort produced our ds who I had when I was 36.

Started trying to conceive again 10 months before ds would be 2. Stopped using condoms and (foolishly) thought I would catch straightaway. I think I've had 2 chemical pregnacies. I say 'think' because back then I didn't know the term and hadn't been introduced to Mumsnet. The first time af was late I hoped I was preggi but af turned up 7 days late. I did a test which was positive , I think on day 7 a couple hours before af turned up, - so no real chance to get excited.

The next time af was late I happened to mention it to my Consultant who did a test. It was a very feint positive. However, I just told him I knew I wan't pregnant, and, sure enough, af turned up about 2 days later.

I have had blood tests, internals, and clomid. I'm just happy that my right tube is now clear (left was always clear) as I think I ov on that side.

I haven't heard good things about AC for fertility only for af problems and menopause, so I have never taken it. I'm a folic acid - B6 kinda gal.

I've been left to my own devices by my consultant.

Right - Who's next?

Here's me:

I got married at 30 after a 10 year relationship, divorced at 35 and have been with DP for almost six years now. At 38, we started TTC and I fell on the second month and had a textbook pregnancy, which produced DS, who has just turned 2. Had a mmc, found at 10 weeks, in late December 2007, an early mc in August 2008 and another mmc at 9 weeks a couple of weeks ago.

We have started tests with a remarkably dismissive Consultant and will do the usual: FSH, Progesterone (I have had one previous day 21 test and prog was low - this was the month I fell pg and had mc2 at 5 weeks), blood clotting, etc. DP has apparently a terrible sperm count in every respect. We're returning on 22nd Jan for the results, a scan and another sperm test.

Depending on the results, we're going to try to relax and try again naturally for 6 months, before going the IVF route. We have also discussed donor eggs. I'd also be happy to foster or adopt, but DP won't hear of it at the moment.

Just taking folic acid at present and considering Aspirin.

Hi,
Just as an aside, what are the real statistics? Can any of you enlighten me? I'm new to this. Been busy the past three years with DS (conceived on the first attempt age 38. I'm now about to turn 42 and just going to start trying for number two) All I know is the scary stuff I read in the press, but is it really so unlikely to have a successful pregnancy and healthy baby age 42? What are the chances? ( Please quote what you know in percentages if poss- I can just about understand percentages, but struggle with 1 in 300 type statistics as I'm kind of mathematically dsylexic)
Have I really got a slim chance of success or is it all PROPAGANDA and LIES, damn LIES?

Hi Amelied Marple. I hang about only on this thread as my conscious mind cannot catch up with the physical at present.
Re the Aspirin - lost first three LOs in 8 months. Then referred to consultant who only did clotting tests (came back normal). He told me to take 75mg Aspirin for 3 mths before TTC again. Unfortunately I was already 2 weeks pg when he told me that, but I think he has forgiven me. I've never seen that advice anywhere else - only people being told to take it after a BFP. Anyway, I'll be able to confirm if it doesn't work (if I lose Little Tab) but wouldn't be able to confirm if it does work. Remember, I have no clotting issues of which I am aware. No other tests were done on me - no hormonal tests or anything. I lost LO1 within 5 weeks and LOs 2 & 3 both at about week 7. If I'd been referred to the St Mary's Clinic, I don't think I'd now be on the Aspirin. Is it coincidence that Little Tab has been in there for 11 weeks now, with a good heart rate and good growth? There are some MN threads with anecdotal evidence that a pregnancy has carried to term after Aspirin has been taken but not without it. If nothing else, it is giving me a huge psychological boost.
I've taken no other supplements apart from Pregnacare and I'm boringly teetotal.
Oh and one more thing, I asked my consultant if we could not simply just say it is my age causing the MCs (I'm 43). He said that is too simple - we would not then look for answers and we would go on to lose numbers 4, 5 and 6.