The WIMBEWAI(N)F Club

[Bucky2008]

OK, so how about we start of on a positive....

I bought the test.

I did the test.

BFP .

Job done.

hi ladies xx
well the news here is its all over (TMI alert) i passed some smallish clots and an odd little ball of clear jelly-like something which was streaked with white. i can give a good guess at what that was and i have also tested and it was a categorical BFN i had my blood taken yesterday by the gynae in LWH which was negative aswell so there we go. im back on the bench now and im a tad pissed off for obvious reasons
i have also quizzed the scanning dept about criteria for HSG and they said that as a 'potential' CP wouldnt have made enough progress then a HSG is still a possibility especially seeing as how it is unconfirmed in their books so im booked in for 8th may at 10.45. i feel like im doing something proactive now especially as DH handed his sample in on tuesday and they took my fsh etc yesterday aswell so progress is being made towards some answers for us
hope everyone else is ok
xx ei xx

Ei I wish I could give you a RL hug too. It's good that you are finding things to be proactive and upbeat about but I know how tiring and infuriating successive losses can be and I wish I could make it easier for you. I hope Mr Ei is ok and is looking after you.

Bucky 'tis ok, I ran out of things to post about my cm a while before I got this BFP. Blood tests sound like a positive step though.

MOB I am glad the consultant was happy with your scan results. Honestly they seem to get a bit excited about something in every pregnancy. The fact that yours is twins surely means that it'll get a bit of extra attention! Actually, I hate all the tests cos I end up feeling like if you look for something wrong you will find it eventually, but better safe than sorry where the chicks are concerned.

GG I hope you had fun on your trip.

DG Good to hear that Alfredo is doing well You must be getting ready for number 2 about now?!?

Not much going on here. I've got the midwife coming around soon which should be interesting. DD has this morning informed me that "Daddy thinks I am going to share with the baby but I am not going to share". It's a good thing we have months to educate her on this!

I had a bit of a jolt a couple of days ago. I was at lunch with an old friend who I don't see that often and she told me that another friend is not only pregnant but about to give birth. I had no idea about it, but I guess this just serves to show what a bubble I was living in at the back end of last year and start of this one. I feel a bit guilty for being such a crappy friend but then if she had told me last year that she was expecting and that she was due around the time when ectopic number 2 was due I would have just cried all over the place and then spent weeks apologising... and although it is unreasonable of me, everytime someone got pregnant and was due when I would have been I felt like my baby had been stolen. Stupid, isn't it? So maybe it is just as well I didn't know. But now I have to make much more of an effort to stay up to date with people.

Right, will check in later. Hope you all have lovely weather today.

Oh Ei I'm so sorry to hear you've lost this one . I can't believe you've had to suffer another m/c . It's good that you're being proactive about the tests but still...sending you massive [hugs]

MrsH I think it's perfectly understandable to have not kept up with old friends entirely but it's great that you can now move on from the "bubble phase" of struggling to conceive (I tried to get out of my self-absorbed bubble after Christmas when I realised that my little sister hadn't told me she was pregnant til 11 weeks so as not to upset me. Made me fee but actually made me feel for being so wrapped up in our own problems!). Your DD is very funny about not wanting to share but I think she'll love it!

MOB glad to hear the chicks can stay put - they're being such good boys already

GG sorry to hear things are manic at work but hope you have a good holiday. I'm well at your Belgium/France adventures. Enjoy the wine!

Bucky fingers crossed for good test results for you both. It's good that things are moving along for you. Hope work eases up for you, but at least it helps time pass quickly.

DigiG hope the return to work hasn't been too much of a shock, but bet your DS is loving granny's!

And waves to PnM RF2&3 JB and anyone I've missed.

So I picked up my prescription for the pill this morning - now just need to wait for my period to arrive so I can start (due sometime over the next few days, I've not been calendar watching so a bit hazy about it). Such a strange feeling but hey ho...all my little seedlings are thriving and we're having a BBQ on Sunday so plenty to distract me...

EI glad to hear things are moving along, hope you're at least feeling physically better.

MrsH and MOB when are you ladies due? I've been very sloppy and not lurked as consistently as I've been meaning to.

And not quite planning number 2 yet, although part of me would love love love to and there's that theory that you're more fertile in the first 12 months after giving birth, so might cut out a lot of the frustration I had when ttc first time round. Reasons for putting it off: I have plundered my savings on this maternity leave and am back to freelancing so have no juicy benefits to fall back on; am only just back into my skinny jeans; Alfredo still wakes in the night 3-4 times a week; am still breastfeeding so cycle still all over the place; would like to enjoy Alfredo on his own a bit more.

caitni Must be so strange for you to be taking the pill. I've still got packets left from over two years ago.
I'm actually really enjoying getting back to work, I'm working part-time partially from home and only going into the office for meetings and stuff, so no hanging around unnecessarily. I don't think I'm destined to be a SAHM.

Anyway...supposed to be working. Funny how I spend even more time on MN when I'm busier.

DG I am not due until the end of October. I've been meaning to ask you, did you go to the Active Birth Centre and if so what did you make of it?

I know what you mean about wanting a second but it being a bit soon. We started trying for DC2 when DD was about 10 months old and although it has been a looong wait with hindsight I am quite glad it has been a longer process. DD knows about the baby and is actively interested in buying baby things, finding a name etc. She understands what is going on (if not what it will be like living with a baby!) and will have had a good long time being the centre of the universe before I go and ruin that for her! I have a friend who is about to have her second so she will have two under two and to be honest the thought of that now makes me quake!!

MrsH what will the gap be between your DD and lo? Today I was thinking, wouldn't it be nice for Alfredo to have a little sibling to play with - then I wouldn't have to sit here on this playmat when I have so many chores to do today...but I don't think having a second baby necessarily makes it easier to get chores done!
I went to Whittington Hospital, pre-labour ward refurbishment so I don't know what it looks like now. The labour ward midwife was brilliant and very encouraging. I couldn't have asked for a better 'delivery service'. If Alfredo hadn't developed jaundice I probably would have been happy with the post-natal ward too. As it turned out I ended up staying a second night, depressed because I was having to bottle-feed and not being given enough breastfeeding support. But I imagine second time round I'll be a lot more confident being left in charge of a newborn and the post-natal ward will be the least of my worries.
Are you referring to the Active Birth Centre in Edgeware? If so StarlightMcKenzie (from my ante-natal thread) went there and had a brilliant experience. You could ask her about it, I'm sure she'd be happy to share.

DG it will be 3 years and 4 months. Quite a bit bigger a gap than we were hoping for but, as I say, now we are here it seems like a good gap. I don't think having a second baby will make anything easier, since then you have to spend all of your time making sure DC1 does not kill DC2...

The Active Birth Centre is near the Whitt and they do ante-natal classes, yoga etc. They sound a bit hippy dippy, so I was wondering if it would do for a cynic (attempting to convert though) like me!

I am booked in at the Whitt too, but if they don't agree to let me VBAC my way I think I may just stay at home!! Post natal care is always a bit dodgy I think but a friend of mine who had a good delivery at the Whitt tells me that someone appeared very often to help her lift the baby. Contrast this to QC where I was left with a catheter in to cope with DD alone after my section while vomiting green stuff and the whitt sounds far superior! It is a grim building though and gives me the heebie jeebies...

Hope everyone is ok.

MrsH I think that's a perfectly respectable gap (there's 6 years between me and my Dsis which I think is too much). I had such a brilliant midwife who actually read my birthplan and allowed me to remain upright, waited for contractions to finish before examining me and at no point asked if I wanted an epidural even though I was screaming the place down (I'd written I would only want to consider an epidural if I'd been labouring 24 hours plus). Mind you I had a textbook labour, waters broke spontaneously, contractions started, DS's heartbeat did very well throughout the entire thing so there was never any risk.

Sorry for the thread hijack. Hope all you Wimbewaifers are keeping well.

Helloooo-ello-llo-o [echo]

Hope you all had lovely bank holidays?

I managed to be in a stinking mood for the Sunday and Monday due to some really hideous wife of DH's friend who came over on the Sat for a BBQ and insisted on talking babies the whole time. I mean literally, the whole time.

What made it worse was that this couple knows what we're going through (the husband is one of DH's best friends), yet still she persisted . They've only just got married and she's obsessed with the idea of becoming pregnant - she's also a nanny so her whole world revolves around kids. We were talking careers/money/houses etc and she said "oh, but what will you do when you have children" (in ref to my travelling for work) so I replied "well we've put our life on hold for so long and it still hasn't happened so its time to try and make something of my career instead" to which she replied "oh, how odd, well when it does happen will you send them to a nursery or get a nanny" - sorry, did you not just HEAR what I said?!!??!

I didn't know how else to put it so I said "after 4 years of waiting for it to happen, it hasn't so the decision between nanny vs nursery really isn't very high on my agenda atm" and stalked off to the kitchen.

At one point, the conversation was no where near children/babies etc, she suddenly came out with "oh, another thing thats good for when you're pregnant is to take Arnica" wtf??? I don't doubt that it is extremely good but I AM NOT PREGNANT LADY AND NEITHER WILL I BE ANYTIME SOON. So now all DH's friends probably think I'm the size of a hippo because I am 'with child' but when in fact all I am growing is a food baby. Fab.

Grrrrrrrrr

So, that off my chest, how is everyone else

How are you feeling Ei? Have been thinking about you these past few days. Hope you're getting some rest and you and your DH are ok? xx

Best go do some work but hi to all and everybody x

Hi ladies

PnM what an absolutely horrible and insensitive way your DH's friend's wife behaved - . She sounds utterly self absorbed. Hope that you had a good long w/e otherwise though. And hope that you don't have to see this woman again for a very long time.

DigiG sounds like you had an amazing midwife! That's the sort of care I'd like

MrsH I think the gap between your DD and your new baby will be lovely. I think the most important thing abotu age gaps is that the parents are happy with it (as then the kids will be) so am glad you're feeling good about it .
Ei hope you're doing OK.

GG Hope you're having a good holiday!

Waves to Bucky MOB and anyone I've forgotten.

Having a bit of a weird time here. Am on CD 27 and (TMI alert) just spotting lightly when I rummage (nothing when I wipe). My cycle is usually 23 days (sometimes 24 days, once 25 days) so the only other time I got to this stage was the CP back in September. I haven't tested yet though as I can't face a BFN. I also can't face a faint positive, as when AF gets here I'll be popping the pill for IVF and don't want any sadness to deal with when it's been hard enough at times to get my head around the IVF . So I'm just trying to tell myself that AF will arrive soon and that my body is just being cruel . I've told DH that I'll wait until Sat before testing.

I've been avoiding MN in my attempt to not think about this. But I bet that just by posting this AF will arrive!

Hiya Caitni - I'm not going to say anything about your being on cd27 but will be quietly crossing my fingers until saturday for you.

Not sure if its of any use to you (or anybody else) but I found the following article the other day which I thought was extremely concise and easy to follow. I'm on a health kick at the moment as feel like a whale and have had difficulty finding a healthy diet recommended for vegetarians who are ttc. Any other plans I've found have been far too extremist for me but this just lays it out (all common sense but its nice to have it written in front of you!).

Totally agree with Caitni, wrt the age gap MrsH. Children don't know any different - I never really thought about my sister being 3 years older than me, she just was. Having watched my SIL with her 3 under 3 I'm 1) in awe of her ability to function like a normal human being and 2) fully sure that 3 so close in age is, personally, not something I would ever like - the eldest went from princess to having to grow up fast when middle child came along (she was 1.2yrs). Middle child then missed his 'babydom' when youngest was born (he was only 1.2yrs). But then again, they know no different so its normal to them.

How are you doing at the moment MOB? Hope those boys are behaving themselves

Hope you're having a fab time away GG?

How is little Alfredo doing DG?

Hi Bucky if you're lurking - feel free to come squark with me about ov anytime, however boring it may be - I'm totally sick of my own stories as well (as I'm sure are most of you!).

Must get on with work - I'm just so unmotivated today!!

Feel like I'm prob waffling to myself a little here but if anybody's about check out my totally nonsensical chart. Tis all over for yet another month for me but looks like the egg never even made an appearance. Woohoo for totally wacked cycles and [sarcastic emoticon]

PnM you're right; that one looks anovulatory to me. Now, there are examples of charts which looks anovulatory but the woman got pregnant anyway (on the Ovusoft website, for example) but with a chart like that the obvious thing that springs to mind is PCOS or something else capable of throwing your hormones out of whack (thyroid?). Your consultant appointment is soonish, isn't it? I really think you need to play a bit of hardball. Ask for your test results to be fully explained and don't leave until they are. Make sure that any tests your GP did are forwarded to your consultant before your appointment so he/she has everything and don't be fobbed off. Cry if need be - they have got to understand how long you have been trying and how hard this process is. You deserve better care than you have had so far. I hope that otherwise things are ok, and and at that silly woman and her baby obsessed brain. In my meaner moments I sort of wish that people like that would have a wee taste of what it is like to want a baby and for it not to happen to order, but IME those types of people always get what they want in 10 seconds flat...

Caitni any news? I totally understand you not wanting to test and burst out of your "maybe I am" bubble, but obviously I want you to test!

Right, am off to discuss birth options with a consultant. Little does she know I am quite happy to stay at home if need be!!

Take care. Hope everyone is having a lovely day in spite of the rain.

Morning ladies

PnM I'd echo what MrsH says about getting all your questions ready for your hospital app - forewarned is forearmed and all that. Glad to hear you're on a health kick - my own diet has been awful, too much meat and cheese and wine and snacks and cakes . So need to take a leaf our of your book and get back to a low GI diet...

MrsH hope you had a good chat with the consultant - how exciting to be discussing birth options!!

My body is still being cruel - day 28 and still spotting when I rummage (nothing when I wipe). Though when I checked just now it was more red than brown and seems to be gettng heavier so I reckon it'll just start properly soon . My DH wanted to get some tests at lunchtime (as I'm supposed to be at yoga) but I've just left him a voice mail saying not to bother. Am so glad it's Friday as I just want to get away from work (I work within sight of 6 pregnant women and three of my close colleagues have babies under 1).

God, sorry for self-indulgent ramble - hope everyone else is doing well!

Hope the birth options discussion goes well Mrsh - would you prefer an actual homebirth? Do you get that option after your em cs? I don't know enough about it but I think that some pcts won't 'allow' you to stay at home after a cs, is that right?

Cruel cruel body Caitni - why do they do this to us . So horrible for you, big cyber hugs if you need them.

My hospital appt isn't until June 26th..... Its getting nearer but still feels like years away. You know when you just feel like there's a weight on you - thats what this all feels like at the moment. Like everything is a struggle. I'm thinking of getting my bloods retested as the last lot I had are nearly a year old now (I first visited the dr about all this last JULY ffs) but not sure if my dr will agree to this. I might email the consultant in advance of the appt to make sure I have everything possible up to date so there can be no 'lets get this tested and then you can come back in 2 months time' etc....

Oh, and Ive been tested for thyroid issues as well MrsH but it came back normal.

Hola Chicas .

PnM How mean was that dinner guest . She's lucky it was you and not me, I would have felt it necessary to shout in her face 'I cannot have a baby you stupid witch, stop going on about it!!!' But then manners aren't always my strong point .

Caitni News? Sorry you have had a bit of arollercoaster week .

Me, well as usual these days just a quick check in but, in short, the hospital has well and truly buggered everything up. I have left 8 messages requesting a call back so far and NOTHING. Because they sent my scan appointment request (the request form for which you may recall they sent me home with first) to Watford General who promptly lost it and now I am on a waiting list for an appointment which once issued will be about 5 weeks later. So, I spoke to Watford and said, 'I have private healthcare I can get the test tomorrow but will St Albans take the results from them?'. To which they responded you will have to check that with St Albans. So I left a message at St Albans. Then I went for the blood tests at my doctors. The nurse told me that they could not blood test for all the things listed on the form and that I had already been tested for them in December anyway, so to ring the hospital. They took blood for the things they could test. So I left a message for St Albans to ring me back. Then I needed to make the appointment with the fertility nurse at St Albans and again they have sent me back with the original forms...not sure what I am supposed to do with it .... and the STUPID hospital won't ring me back!??? I am thinking of driving over there...not sure what else to do!??

Anyway, the whole palava has depressed me more than I knew I could be depressed. I will NEVER have a baby. They are all evil people who deserve to never taste anything delicious ever again in life...so there. .

Sorry for rant but I have had a big cry last night and now I am just f*cked off...

Oh and the burglars came back and Finn dog scared them away, so hurrah forthat at least. Go Finn Dog !!!

Crikey Bucky your pct is starting to sound like mine!

If ringing them really does get no response then maybe actually going over there is the best bet? My friends mum used to be a clinical secretary and she's the one who recommended emailing the consultant to me so maybe thats worth a shot? She said they're more likely to actually look at and respond to an email.

Am very on your behalf though. Why does this all have to be such a struggle?!?

Said it before but I'll say it again - yay for Finn Dog! Can't believe the bastards tried burgling you again!! Truely shit time for you

PnM emailing the consultant sounds like a really smart move. I'd ask him whether it is a good idea to get your bloods repeated. If you turn up at the GP brandishing an email that says they need doing your GP is hardly going to say no. One doctor I saw said they would ignore anything from over a year ago, but he was talking about laproscopy so I guess it's possible some of them might prefer more recent blood results. Anyway, good on you for being proactive about this. It's just a shame that it has dragged on for so long.

Bucky on your behalf about the disorganised buggers at your PCT. I reckon if they carry on you should speak to PALS and get them on the case. If you make a formal complaint maybe they will pull their finger out. Hospitals are often not the most organised places (the number of clinics I have seen where the patient's files are not available, for example...) but time is of the essence with ttc and they need a kick up the bum. Maybe you should set Finn dog on them?

Well, I had my meeting at the hospital and it was a bit crappy really. I am afraid they are going to try to make me labour on my back with monitors all over the shop again. I was going to try to thrash this out with the consultant before the birth but I have just decided to do my own thing on the day which I think should be waaaay less stressful.

Sigh. So we're all having a lovely time right now...

hi ladies
sorry for not posting for a while i was having a strop and decided to avoid the TTC threads to get my head back in the game
but i am now wanting to get back in the saddle as i have (yet another) cycle to wait before i get my HSG as the hospital called and cancelled it on thursday and had nothing to offer me this week so i have to wait until CD1 again so i might aswell make the most of the delay and jump on my DH at any given opportunity
hope all is well and everyone is having a nice weekend
bucky well done finn dog for scaring away the baddies and gggrrrr at your PCT i hope you got a reply eventually
mrsH good plan to do what you feel is right on the day you go into labour
PnM did you manage to get your bloods done? or have you not been the gp yet? i had mine done the week before last and my gp has said she will do them again if they need doing before i see my cons. that isnt until 9th july
hope everyone else is well
xx ei xx

Morning all,

Ei! Lovely to see you back - can't believe the hospital cancelled your appt. Everybody seems to be having really bad experiences recently with their hospitals etc... Well, as you say, best make the most of it until next month.

Sorry to hear the appt was less than useful MrsH. Can they make you have the birth you don't want? I don't know how flexible hospitals are when it comes to birth plans etc. But I'm a bit after you had such a bad time with your DDs birth that they're not being more proactive in helping you have the birth you want this time.

Can't believe how sunny it is out there this morning! Might have to go work in the garden in a sec.

x

Morning ladies

Ei good to see you back on MN (we missed you!) but at your cancelled HSG appointment. What a pain...but hope you enjoy pouncing on your DH instead

PnM I know the 26 June seems like ages away but hopefully the time will pass quickly (I'm still in shock that it's nearly mid-May!). Good idea on the bloods - I was told that anything older than 6 months isn't really ideal (especially as your cycle length has changed so dramatically). You're right to try and protect yourself from the risk of getting to your app only to be sent away to have day 3 and day 21 tests again...

MrsH how annoying about your chat about birth options. But I think you're right to just do your own thing on the day, but I'm glad you're thinking about it now so that you can be armed prepared with information . Have you ever thought about things like natal hypnotherapy? I think I'd like it but reckon my DH would find it beyond annoying

Bucky crikey, sounds like your hospital has got crapitis from PnM's one! Sorry to hear about all the stress, hope it's getting sorted out now. And you WILL have a baby - PMA and all that .

GG hope you had a good holiday - bet it's a distant memory by now though!

And big waves to our pregant ladies and graduates

So I'm officially "resting my ovaries" (ie on the pill ) as AF arrived with a horrendous bang on Saturday. I'm sorting out with the clinic when I can actually get started on sniffing the down reg drugs, but fingers crossed it's soon. I'm glad I can start straight into this after my 28 day cycle last month (ironic that the only time I get a 28 day cycle is right before starting IVF). Am generally feeling pretty positive about things though, as decided to look on AF as potentially (hopefully) my last naturual bleed for at least a year if IVF works!

Caitni xx

Hi Caitni, sorry to hear af arrived after holding out on you until cd28 . Must feel weird being back on the pill again? Am thinking positive thoughts for you - love you pma re no natural af for at least a year!

How're your veggies doing?

Found out today that my appt is on the 11th June not the 26th . At least I checked now and didn't turn up nearly a month late! Sent the consultant an email but fear I've missed the boat for my bloods as am already on cd4/5 (can't remember) so if he doesn't reply today then I'm stuffed.

Hope you had a lovely time away GG and hope everyone else is doing ok today?

How are your two boys doing MOB??

[phew emoticon] at checking your appointment date! Good news that it's actually two weeks closer (which helps with the time flying ). Up to CD 5 is still fine for the bloods so fingers crossed the consultant gets back to you today/tomorrow and you can get a blood test...I'd recommend getting estradiol (sp?) done as part of your day 3 tests if you can...wish I'd had mine done back in November as then wouldn't have been so stressed out last month about it!

Veggies doing well though am worried I thinned them all too much . Am having a second stab at peas (the first lot were lazy and didn't even germinate!) and am going to stick some more salady stuff in pots (post-thinning I reckon we'd munch our way through the rocket, lettuce, chard and spinach that's left in a weekend!). Lots of strawberries forming though so wish we'd just bought more plants now (as all this weeding, watching, netting for about two punnets of strawberries ). Now just willing my flowers to grow and bloom . How's your own garden doing?

Evening everyone,

How are you feeling ei? I'm so sorry. I really felt for you after you had such a roller coaster of BFN, great chart, BFP. Big

caitni What a mean merry dance your body led you. Sorry AF arrived, but hurray for starting off IVF. How very exciting. It goes without saying that my fingers will be firmly crossed for you throughout the process.

PnM Boo to your chart, what a rocky one. Glad you checked when your appointment was, not long now. Don't forget to take your charts along to your appointment.

My beans failed, not a single one germinated. I just got mouldy compost.

bucky I second MrsH's idea about setting finn on the PCT. Hope you got it sorted in the end.

MrsH Birth options, wow it doesn't seem two minutes since your BFP! How are you feeling now, sickness gone?

Hope the twins are still doing well MOB.

to GG, how are things with you?

Everything is fine in the Jollybear household. DD is lovely and sunny. I need to work out how to add pics to my profile so you cyber aunties can have a nosy.

Night all.

Apologies in advance but this is all about me

Massive progress afoot...

I already had a scan and tests in December which the nurse at St Albans is accepting...hurrah.

They are sending us an appointment for an appointment for the funding application on either the 27 May or 10 June...have to wait for appointment in post.

So then its just the six month wait for treatment...phew.

Caitni sorry AF showed up but exciting stuff that you are getting going...

PnM we might be appointment buddies

JB Bucky waves like a mad woman, get those photos posted so we can all swoon at Jollycub .

Bucky waves to everyone else and runs out the room...

P.S. GG is having her appointment with the hospital today so fingers crossed for her that it all goes ok. xx