TTC for the cautious!!!

[Bonkerz]

OK well not sure my title is good enough really and feel honoured you let me start the thread. So heres to a new month and new start on my cycle! TTC is going to be a very nervous and aprehensive time for me but i know oyu are all in the same boat and with your support im sure i can do it. So im on day 1 of my cycle. Should ov on day 10 although am not certain if D&C has mucked up my ovulation but will guess that. Am almost thinking that im ttc just to lose another baby and i know thats wrong but cant help it. With 2 mc already its hard to believe it will ever happen for me and DH and im almost convinced i will never see a healthy happy 12 week bean. Ok enough doom and gloom.

HERES TO ALL OF US WHO ARE NERVOUSLY TTC AND MAY LUCK AND FAIRY DUST SHOWER OVER US IN THESE COMING MONTHS!

hey ladies! oh yes i am on my 2ww -well not quite 2ww cause i'm testing at 10dpo, then 12 dpo....you get the picture! so a sort of 'one week wait' for me!
wendy sorry af showed and spolit your dream plan, i seriously hope the IVF appointment is positive and good for you.
rom, hows it going? putting feet up lots?
nemo, how bloody bloody frustrating to wait such a long cycle. hang in there, it is NOT over til af shows up..........
bella how are you today? still off sick? any sign of af? or is it staying away? hmmmmmm. lots of testers coming up i think!
i am absolutely shattered today, rough night with dd2 wakinga t 4am and every 10/20 minutes after that til 6am. then i pretty much had to get up soon after that anyway! sigh........
anybody heard from Girl? i hope shes okay...and bonkerz?
so, sorry head full of cotton wool, tell me AGAIN whos on same cycle daysame cycle kinda time as me.....could do with some hand holding thro my waiting time. i know, everyone copes better than me, i'm just 'feeling the pressure'...........and i totally relate to you Bella, saying how you had hoped to be one of the early 'wow how quick' ones. but cycle three after m/c is still quick.......we will be gossiping about nappies and labour before you know it. ((hugs))

Nemo, thanks appointment went really well. Know how you feel about testing and being disappointed. My last cycle I ov'd on day 13 but af arrived really late. I ws so disappointed when I got a BFN but onwards and upwards to the next cycle for me.

Dyzzidi, we are being treated at the Regional Fertility Centre Royal Victoria Hospital, Belfast. We are really lucky and have a wonderful consultant who is so considerate and really bends over backwards to try and help us.
I was worried that we would not be eligible for NHS treatment as we had achieved a pg naturally but as you said it is only if you have a baby/child of your own living with you that you are not eligible for NHS treatment. We were on the waiting list for about 2/3 years and had just reached the top of it when I found out I was pregnant so when it came to this time we were still at the top of the list once our names were reactivated so we received out offer of treatment very quickly.
Today has gone really well. We saw the consultant and then the nurse who will be in charge of us at the centre. Had bloods taken for hepatitis, HIV etc -poor DH is really pathetic when it comes to needles and had to stay seated for a while after they had finished - what a wimp! Of course I had to appear very concerned and act 'wifey' - not really in my nature. We should receive our treatment dates in the next couple of weeks and then have to go down to collect all our drugs. Hopefully treatment will be completed by the end of April the beginning of May - IF everything goes according to plan. The hospital is about an hours drive from home and then we need to leave about 1/2 an hour for parking so each appointment takes a good chunk out of the day. Looks like we will know each inch of the motorway like the back of our hand by the time this is over. Also found out today that the consultant prefers all IVF babies to be born in the RVH irrespective of where in N Ireland you live so definitley not so easy but if we achieve a pg from this where the baby would be born would not matter.
Hope everything works out for you really soon. A girl I work with has had really major problems over the years and lots of abdominal surgery. She has a dd achieved through IVF so there is hope for all of us. Also consultant told us today that the fact that we have achieved a pg even though it didn't last increases your chances of IVF being more sucessful than IVF in someone who has never been pg - so hoping that is the case for us.
Please keep in touch and let me know how things are going for you. I don't always post but I usually get a chance to read this thread most days.
Hope the day is good for everyone else.

DQ, sorry posts crossed. Things were definitley positive today as you can see by my looooooooong post. Will have to curtail myself when I get on here. Wouldn't it be great if we had a cat flap on our tummies that we could take a peek inside. It would beat the 2ww.

Spoke to my mum today about wedding stuff and mentioned about watching my cycle and what day I was on. She got really confused bless her and said what bike are you talking about

lol- feeling better today - more positive about everything back to my usual waht will b self - Glad things went well Wendy - Nemo hows u should feel good after the score last night -
Hope everyone is ok

hi all
sorry for BFNs - dq 2 ww - how can you contain yourself - I see flapjack on the horizon!
Bella - i got pg with 2nd mc 3rd cycle after 1st, my GOP told me it takes 2 cycles for your body to sdettle down after ERPC so to give yourself that time
im CD15 now but not feeling remotely like im ovulating - usually get intersted in bding but not this mthn
Canmum - not ravings of mad woman - Im the same - planned conception of my 3 to the day, even planned for a girl after 2 boys and it all worked, has been quite an eye opener fro me this inability to have another baby immeadiately I want it
at minute feel it will be worth it in the end coz I will really treasure and appreciate how lucky i am to be given another baby instead of feeling it is some god given right. but i agree you have to think carefully about the effect on your other 3, im ok at present, not too obsessed about ttc and enjoying not feeling pg and awful. if i didnt think that having another wouldf be such a great thing for all of us i would give up
hope this makes sense but I get the feeling we are in the same mindset
take care

Hi all Nemo good result in the footie - Wendy your news sounds good - I feel like I know I am not pg so just let Af come asap and we can get on with trying

Evening all ladies.
Well have had great day skiving off work, spent the day with my friend. Started with brunch and then a lazy afternoon gossiping - total heaven! Very naughty not to be at work but cold on way out and well have no excuse other than I just didn't have the energy to go in!!
Well AF nearly here, not enough yet to start persona but literally chomping at the bit to start it! Thanks all for encouragement for next month, it helps to look forward.
Dyz - very funmy that your Mum thought you were talking about a bike !!
DQ - hope you get a better night's sleep with your little one. How many tests have you got lined up, somebody should lock them away from you, you little addict you!!
Bonkerz - if you are reading this, we need to know how you are ????
Rom - sooo nice to hear you had a nice time with DH, makes such a difference doesn't it!
Wendy, glad all went well at IVF. All sounds very promising
Anyway off to watch Desperate Housewives i recorded.
I still think March is going to be lucky so have faith someone is going to be lucky with a BFP, willing all positive thoughts to you all across the universe

evening all
well I am on CD1 again...the ob got me..well lightly at the min but thats ok...am now on ebay looking at opks....pmsl...hey ho it might stop me wasting 10 tests..lol
take care
sorry no personals

Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement. On one hand I feel really good about it and trying to be positive - This will work for us!, but on the other hand this is the last stop shop and if it doesn't work how am I going to cope. Have to shake myself out of this and keep positive. Off to bed early tonight as I feel completley shattered. Night everyone

Morning ladies,
Well nothing much to report - excited that I can start persona tomorrow and also that cyles seem to have returned to 28 days. Just got to keep myself amused for the next week until bding can start in earnest.
Everyone else ok?

hi all

ooo bella good luck with ur gadget

wendy glad the appointment went well

so I have sucumbed to opks I bought clearblue digital on ebay last night ..sigh..hopefully will bring more looke next month..lol
I dont mind a dec bubs to make up for crap dec in 04

takre care all

afternoon ladies.........nemo so sorry af found you. the cow. grab those OPKs on ebay and test away as soon as af stops!
wendy keep your chin up. of COURSE this is going to work. think positive!!!!
bella ready with that gadget? be interesting to see whihc day you DO o on, seeing how you missed it with opks (didnt you? or have i got it wrong..)
heres hoping, absolutely baking like mad to 'fill' time. sticky lemon cake and choclate muffins coming up this afternoon, have good girlfriend down tomorrow who looks forward to my cakes so cant let her down can i?!
having trouble with dh.......he doesnt get why it takes 2weeks (or there abouts) for the HCG to show up on tests. he wants me to test now. LOL.
he also looked at me with very raised eyebrows when i said i really hope its a bfp when we do test. he said after all that bd-ing how could it be possble we're not pg? bless his innocence. oh, he now calls any sex 'baby dancing' he thinks its the funniest phrase hes heard. so am starting to think i should never had shared all this with him to start with!!!!!!!>> i will be in the kitchen if you guys want me......

Hereshoping: Thanks for the reassurance! I love the way there is always at least one other mother on MN who will confirm that you are not mad/alone in your thinking. I really hope that we both manage to add a fourth little person to our families. You sound really determined and level headed at the same time. You did not mention how your family and friends feel about the possibility of another baby. Do many people know about your losses? My closest friend has actually started pleading with me to never try again because she is worried that I may die on the table the next time I miscarry. I am discouraged to think that this is how a good friend feels because it just makes it difficult to share my feelings with her; it does not weaken my resolve or my desire for another baby.
Dramaqueen: I love to bake as well but I really need to keep it to a minimum because we don't really know anyone here yet to share it with and if I eat it all I will be as big as a house... Do you bake your own bread? I wish that I had never started because I now eat the first slice as soon as it comes out of the oven and I can see the extra pounds that has added to my bones! Now the kids won't eat store-bought bread because they claim that it tastes funny. Go figure... I think that I may also be in the 2ww. I am of course not really trying so it should be no sweat! YEAH, WHATEVER!
The 2ww should pass more quickly for me this month because I am going to spend time with my mum as she recovers from open heart op. It will be the first time that I have ever spent time away from my children and I am nervous to the point of being sick. Figure that it would be great to fall this month because I may not be able to watch the calendar as closely as usual. (Just re-read and tried to edit. Conclusion: More rantings of a mad woman! Sorry for the long post about nothing!)

Nemo: I am very sorry if I offended you by saying that a January baby would be lovely. I was trying to sound light hearted and as thought I could look on the bright side. I fully appreciate that a baby born any month of the year would be FABULOUS. I hope the opks are helpful; I also hope that I never have to buy one. Am trying hard to resist

Thanks for pointing me here Cadmum - looks like I need a good read through before I post!

Well on the baking front I have just made a blueberry baked cheesecake for our dinner party tonight.
DQ - yes am hoping to have some kind of revelation on the Ovulation front seeing as i was never that clear on the opk sticks.
Hereshopping - hope yu can manage to be without your kiddies and i hope your Mum gets better soon (bless her)
DQ - it amazes me how men manage to get jobs when they seem a little "slow" sometimes on what we think is basic birds and the bees stuff!! My DH is very well read but quite honestly didn't kno that my periods would stop altogeter when i got pregnant - I nealry collapsed in shock
He would kill me if he knew i had told anyone!!

Dadmum - a woman who makes her own bread .....I salute you!!

Cadmum.......

Afternoon ladies
Bella - bluberry baked cheescake sounds divine, sat here drooling at the thought.
Cadmum - never attempted to bake bread although Mum bakes all her own and makes the tastiest wheaten bread and soda farls. I'm more of a sweet baker - love making tray bakes, cakes and desserts.
DQ - what heavenly delights are you making today?
Today has been up and down. Had a call from the IVF clinic to say that because af arrived yesterday and treatment starts on day 21 that would be 30th March so still within the 2004/2005 financial year so they can't offer us this cycle of treatment. Have to ring and let them know the date of my April af. Felt so ridiculoulsy Phoned DH who came home to find me sitting on the floor crying my eyes out. Just felt like nothing works out for us, but feeling better now - after all it is only 4 more weeks and it also gives us one last chance to bd like crazy and hope for a miracle . As DH pointed out there are loads of people in our position who would love to only have 4 weeks to wait for treatment so back on that hamster wheel of yours Bella for another month.

hi cadmum, welcome yellowbear you will need some time to read thru this lot!

nemo - sorry about AF glad to hear you've come round to the clearblue digitals how much are they on ebay out of interest?

DQ - which CD are you on? sorry, i lose track. i'm a bit too far behind to hold your hand i think, i'm on CD15. must be someone on here.

dyzz - pmsl at your mother's bike comment - she sounds a bit dizzy herself (sorry, appalling joke! bit tired this afternoon)

Wendy - LOL at catflap

Bella - glad your cold is on its way out for the weekend. poor mr. rom has just gone down with a streamer.

wendy sorry about the cycle delay - stay upbeat, you sound so already. four more weeks to have a drink, go out with the girlies, bd like crazy and relax... wont be long.
have just made my favourite - pecan and dark choclate chunk shortbread (heaven) -which cadmum, i really hate having to share!! and some lemon cupcakes.....will make choc muffins in morning before friend arrives. then she can drool over aroma they produce too! am stepford wife really!
Rom - cycle day 20. so youre not that far behind!
bella, am impressed, chessecake isnt always easy, another kitchen diva!!! and you sound like youre always haivng dinner parties...am envious!
dh and i out tonight, most conversation will be about our holiday to portugal (we go every year) that we have just booked. its august and i cant stop wondering if i will be pg by then? and how far pg? crazy isnt it?!
cadmum hope youre mums okay, and yes, sounds like a good plan to distract yourself. what cycle day are you...? and i like long post about nothings.......like mine!!!
had better dash and feed my short people before i get ready to go out
love to everyone.

Wendy sorry to hear about having to wait 4 weeks but as DQ has pointed out, it means a month of enjoying yourself and also chance in case it happens naturally. Hope you feel better after having a cry, sometimes you just need to let it all out. Your DH sounds like a star

{{{{{Wendy}}}}} I hope the next four week move quickly. I can only imagine how crushed you must feel; it must be very frustrating having all of the bureaucracy on top of the usual stress of ttc. I really liked the advice about trying to make the best of the next four weeks but appreciate how near-impossible that would be.

I am on CD 17. Not actually 100% certain about ov. DS2 does not sleep weel enough for me to take a bbtemp and I can only rely on CM... (Of course I could spend a fortune on OPKs but I am the idiot that doesnt't even like to do a pg test until after the second missed af...So, not too likely!)
I am rather worried about my mother (she is only 59 and needs a valve replaced) so who knows that could put a kink in the whole ov situation as well. Promised myself that I would not dwell on every little twinge because we are NOT really trying to conceive... Don't ask me any more questions because I will not know the answer as I am busy NOT paying attention to these details! (Have I convinced anyone?)
Don't be impressed by the bread baking. I only started out of necessity. We don't have a car and the grocery store is too far to walk to with 3 little people in tow when it is -24 C. I really don't know how Canada was ever 'settled'; the weather here is utter madness. Talking about it almost makes me miss the hectic days in London.
I LOVE cheesecake and anything with pecan and shortbread is heavenly! Now I am missing the pecan bars and hot chocolate from Pret as well. Thanks a lot, you bunch! Please, no more talk of sweet treats or I will fire up the oven and eat the spoils by myself.

Big Welcome to Littlebear. I did not mean to sound harsh on the other thread but I was rather pressed for time and ds2 was climbing all over the keyboard. I just didn't want you to miss out on all of the great advice and support that is available here. These MNers are fantastic. (How else would they put up with my endless ramblings?)
I hope you are not here long before you head off to one of the ante-natal threads!