TTC for the cautious!!!

[Bonkerz]

OK well not sure my title is good enough really and feel honoured you let me start the thread. So heres to a new month and new start on my cycle! TTC is going to be a very nervous and aprehensive time for me but i know oyu are all in the same boat and with your support im sure i can do it. So im on day 1 of my cycle. Should ov on day 10 although am not certain if D&C has mucked up my ovulation but will guess that. Am almost thinking that im ttc just to lose another baby and i know thats wrong but cant help it. With 2 mc already its hard to believe it will ever happen for me and DH and im almost convinced i will never see a healthy happy 12 week bean. Ok enough doom and gloom.

HERES TO ALL OF US WHO ARE NERVOUSLY TTC AND MAY LUCK AND FAIRY DUST SHOWER OVER US IN THESE COMING MONTHS!

Nemo - sounds encouraging if you have had a faint positive - go ant get some more tests, keeping everything crossed for you!
DQ - yes i usually get an early show before AF comes for real. At least it looks like I am back on my 28 day cycle which is small consolation.
I am going to have to resign myself that I am not going to be one of those lucky ones who it happens really quickly for, think its going to take a while........gues i will have to learn some patience from somewhere....any idea how you get it??

Good Luck Nemo and for you too Bella - you never know.
Have come home from work early as I spent the morning sobbing again. Know I had a crappy start to the year but I have to get back in the land of the living sooner or later. Is anyone else still having these irrational sobbing moments?
Going to spend the afternoon making a curry for DP. I can blame my watery eyes on the onions then!

DQ - haven't yet, am going to make an appointment to see gp next week and see what they say.

Nemo - look forward to your testing, fingers crossed. I am very hopeful as a faint pos has to be a good sign.

Bella - good luck to you too.

George - hope you are feeling better. I think we all have experienced those sobbing moments, they can just come out of no where. Enjoy the curry!

Hello all
been off thread for few days as suddenly went all negative about ttc - cant face getting on rollercoaster
wanted to say hi to cadmum - yours are same ages as mine, ive had 2 mmcs in past 6 months
few of us hankering after a 4th but trying to 'count our blessings' - not easy - when that baby itch comes I just gotta scratch it
im, not using any opks etc - always got pg - just latterly having probs staying that way. been told its my age but at 35 thats not v cheering
george - hope that tooth is fixed
bella - good luck if youre testing

Hugs George, know only too well the bursts of sobbing, they really are forceful aren't they!
Just try and hang in there and realise that these bad days will come every now and again. Just go with them and tomorrow you will probably feel more positive.
Hereshopping - nice to hear from you

Dramaqueen: I feel so much better now that I see you do the same things I do every month. I honestly thought that I was the only person to wonder if there was a way of knowing when fertile cm switched to pg cm. Maybe I am not so crazy after all?

George: The sobbing is to be expected. Give yourself time to heal and don't judge yourself too harshly.

Yingers: May the next two weeks pass in fast-forward with your little bean all safe and sound. The time between the bfp and the feared miscarriage date are pure torture. Feel free to air your concerns here.
Bella: Sorry. but, January is a lovely month to have a baby...

Nemo: Hope you get that darker line soon!

Hello hereshoping. (warning: rantings of a mad woman to follow. Proceed with caution.)
I did notice that your little people are the same ages as mine and that you have also had two miscarriages since your youngest... Rather unsettling this whole business. I was starting to think that my problem might be that I have a 'God Complex' because I always found it so easy to conceive that I actually believed I could choose the perfect age gap for my children and be in charge of the whole process. Am I making any sense? I thought that the first miscarriage must be a one-off and then after the second one I was still convinced that it would never happen to us a third time but well...Now that I have been reduced to a shadow of my former confident self I wonder if I even have the strengh to embark on this journey at all... I am very aware of the toll this is taking on my children as well and I would hate for them to start thinking that they are just 'not enough' some how. That darn old itch just won't go away. I am really not convinced about the age arguement because several of my friends are in their 40s and don't have these 'issues'.

Does anybody know where Bonkerz is?

Afternoon All
I was starting to think it was only me who was still feeling completley down in the dumps and prone to episodes of crying at the most inappropriate times. For some of you your loss is more recent than mine and it is only to be expected but I feel that I am five months down the line and don't know when I am ever going to get over this fuly. Also hating my body and what it is doing at the moment. Cycles are more or less regular at 26 days. According to OPK's, Fertility Friend and CM I ovulated on day 13 but still no sign of af, now 3 days late but a BFN this morning. Also have first IVF appointment tomorrow and don't feel that I am stressing about it but maybe subconciously I am and that is what is keeping the old witch from arriving. Sorry for moaning. I will go away and hopefully come back in a more positive frame of mind later.

cadmum, nope, as horrible as it prob sounds am expert on my cm! LOL its def changing quickly now..weird weird body i have!
actually nice for me to know you check too! oh and that was me you were describing, i also had two v easily, and thought i to could play God. bit of a smack in the face to find i wasnt in charge of it at all...............
yingers, yes make the appointment, it will help you i think, as scary as it is. am thinking of you and willing the weeks by to the safer months for you
nemo, any bfp to report? sorry its messing you about, whats worse than af? no af with no bfp!! eek! hope it happens for you in the morning.
bella, i'm sorry if its af, bugger. if tis any slight consolation i had two cycles last tiem i had a m/c then bingo! third cycle pg with Mollie!! so keep chin up, and enjoy playing with new persona too. i'm abit envious of it!
gosh wendy, before this m/c mine was two years agoa dn it still go to me sometimes, out of nowhere i'd start thinking of it and be in floods. so dont rush yourself.(you to george) crap days come and go, its okay to feel like that, fingers REALLY crossed wendy that your ivf will be cancelled as the bfn turns into BFP soon. sounds like af is playing many tricks on everyone. the cow.
hers hoping , hope we're keeping your spirits up some? and you too bonkerz...where are you? even if your not currently ttc we want you guys around us still!
big hugs

hi all
so i tested again this afternoon and got a bfn...but was same crap tests so thats it im all out of tests and thoroughly peeved with my p@@s taking body...i am not buying anymore tests till at least end of month..lol

Thanks Dramaqueen. Its good to know I am not going mad or at least everyone else is going the same way on here May we all be mad together!

George 32 I am still having sobbing moments and feel very hormonal today - trying not to read to much in to anything but you can't help it can you - CD24 so a while yet to wait

Thanks guys. You have helped so much today and made me feel that this is normal rather than beating myself up about it. I'm beginning to realise that my losses from Jan will take some getting over.
Sistermoon, so sorry you are going through it as well today. It does get pretty hard to function properly doesn't it?

Sorry about your test Nemo, but I bet you a fiver you buy more before the month is out (and I still have my fingers crossed for you)!!

DQ, you will be proud of me today. I have taken my misery by its throat and managed to divert it by spending time in the mystery room that is the kitchen! Dp is coming home to a dinner of lamb rogan josh followed by chocolate brownies & ice cream and it's all home cooked!! (well except for the ice cream, but you can't better Haagan Daas perfection!) Now all we need is a win in the footie and today might have been worth it after all.

Which team are you supporting We're Liverpool tonight (manU last nite dh is still dpressed)your tea sounds lovely

liverpool here too when dh comes home..and can appear all housewifey ish as my lovely MIL coked us stew that i just have to heat up..

George, and SisterMoon, here's hoping you feel lots better tomorrow (or after your lovely curry and Haagen Dazs, George!). Amazing how it sneaks back up on you, isn't it. Whoever said don't be too hard on yourself has it right. But that is easier said than done, sometimes. I know I thought I was ok after my Jan miscarriage and then completely (and I do mean completely) lost it on receiving an email from a good friend telling me his wife is expecting in June. For some reason, that was unbearable, even though holding a friend's newborn was somehow ok.

Sorry for your AF news Bella, Nemo sounds like you have some more testing to do...as for me I'm imagining every bit of indigestion or exhaustion is somehow indicative of egg swimming down/implantation/pregnancy-symptom-of-your-choice. Sigh. Is 7 DPO too early to test?

Wendy good luck at the IVF clinic today We had our first appointment a few weeks ago and was surprised by some of the questions.

The really do go into graphic details about your sex life and me and DP got all embarassed

Its not everyday you talk to a stranger about how many times a week you have sex

I suppose they need to ask these questions so be prepared for them.

Wasn't so bad as we were both giggling when we came out and decided to better the numbers we had just gave the funny little Doctor. If we don't keep a sense of humour about these things it will drive us both insane!

Morning Ladies, hope we are all having better days today.
DQ - yes does help to know that it took you 3 cycles before success last time. I guess I just wanted to be the kind of person where it happened really quickly and be like "wow it was so quick" - obviously not for me!!
DH bless him was like, lord this making baby business is hard work, hopefuuly with persona now we can time it better, fingers crossed!
Anyway still skiving off work with this cold thing.
Nemo - sorry things are messing you around. very confused why you got a faint positive and now nothing - very bizarre, didn't knw that was possible??!

Morning All,

Dyzzidi thanks for the warning about types of questions. If I had been hit by that I would probably have been a bit like a goldish - mouth opening but nothing coming out.
Af arrived this morning so I will be able to bring my March af details with me to the clinic - I am definitely losing it - I don't even trust the post service anymore incase it messes up my treatment cycle.
Hopefully we will know within the next couple of weeks what our treatment dates are etc and can then plan around it.
Dyzzidi have you had IVF before or is this your first time too. We got to this stage May last year but I became pg naturally only to lose our little boy at 23 weeks so in some insane way I had hoped that we might just cheat the system and it would happen again but IVF is obviously the way it is meant to be for us to have the family we long for.
Bella hope your cold improves in time for the weekend and sorry about your af. Lets hope March is a lucky month for conceiving!
DQ, the 2ww is hell. No real advice on how to pass it. I tend to spend lots of time in the garden and then worry myself sick that if this is the month maybe I am doing myself harm, so I'm no help!
Sorry for the long post. I tend to ramble away when I get on here, so I'll get off and get ready for our appointment. Talk later.

Hi Wendy

We have been waiting for IVF for a few years now but I had to have a few surgeries before we went on the list. As soon as we were put on the list I became pregnant and my surgeon saw me in Antenatal and said God knows how that happened!!

The same surgeon was furious after my m/c as another doctor did the ERPC and didn't remove all the tissue. So when got rushed back into hospital 6 weeks later he had to do another ERPC and was actually really upset for me and came to see me three times in one day as they were worried how far the infection had gone. I am lucky to have been seen by such a compassionate doctor as many are not so lucky.

Apparently though they don't take you off the list once you are on there until you have had a baby not a pregnancy.

I was upset when I went to see the IVf guy as it is at a different hospital and he said oh will just scan you seeing as though you are here and then saw my fibroid had grown since the pregnancy (apparently that can happen) it has trebled in size so I need even more surgery now before the treatment can begin.

I am at a IVF meeting on monday when they invite around 80 couples along and you have to go to this meeting before treatment starts. I don't know if this is just at this hospital (st Marys in Manchester) .

Where are you having your treatmetn???

I hope your appointment goes much better than mine did.

poor you dyzz - which hospital was it where they messed up your erpc?

nemo - gawd, you must be CCD36 or something now??

mizzan - 7 DPO is too early to test!! hang in there

bella - started your gadget yet? i agree with munnzie that i would be lost without my persona. i actually (pathetically) get really excited about using it!!

george - sorry to hear you were blue - hope you're past the worst of it

as for old rom, i'm V. happy to report that Mr. Rom was a total sweetheart this month and not only that, but it was damned good too nuthin' mechanical about it .

afternoon

wendy hope your item has gone well fingers crossed for u

dyzz nightmare time for u hun dont know how u cope im going mad and i dont even hve half the stuff u do to contend with

rom yes it is cd 36..arghhhh...am not testing again cos i get excited to then get let down again..lol Glad MR rom was an angel..lol

mizz dont test it only disappoints u..lol

george hugs to u hun

dq hope ur 2ww isnt driving u mad..cos it is me lol

It was at Hope hospital in Salford. In stupid doctors defense he has never seen me before I also have slight bicornuate uterus and the fibroid may have made it difficult for him.

I have been treated at Hope for 10 years now and this was the only time I have felt there care was inadequate, They are normally great and the inpatient care is very good quality.

Nemo It's not so bad I have a DP who loves me a great family, nice home, good job and am planning a fantastic wedding in September .I have always had gynae problems, and have surgeries for the last ten years.I try to not let things get to me but have to take strong painkillers nearly everyday and sometimes feel like screaming

But Life is about living not complaining and I do try to not whinge about my problems its just difficult sometimes.

I don't have it so bad when you look at others.

Whats that saying theres always someone worse off than yourself.

dyzz - you sound pretty brave to me

well this is one place where you are always welcome to have a good whinge

thanks for that!

Anyway I'm having a good day today hope you are too.