Thread for those fed up of pregnant friends... actually pregnant women everywhere... while they themselves have been TTC for ages or keep having miscarriages.

[GordonTheGopher]

I know it's not very PC. But I can't help but be really jealous. Just this morning I got an email off another friend telling me she's pregnant - first month of trying.

That makes 6 friends who are pregnant. I have been TTC no 2 for two years. I had a MMC last May and an early MC last week.

I do try and be happy for them. But in reality I'm not.

Am I normal? Anyone care to join me?

hi pinkspook

Since beginning of the year but have a miscarriage history before i had my dd who is now eight from a previous marriage. So they agreed to look into things afew months ago and found i wasnt ovulating. Now on the clomid wave.

lots of baby dust to you

pinkie08 good luck to you too. Am intrigued to find out if I am ovulating after all these tests. Did you have any indicators that you now realise after the clomid, that you weren't ovulating or did you have totally normal cycles?

Sorry I've been away so long....3.5 weeks since MC and feeling better. Completely off antidepressants for two weeks now and still no meltdown (other than shouting at the lady in the Weight Watchers queue). I still can't stay for a meeting, too many babies there.

Have to agree with Littlefish, having complementary therapies does make you feel like you have more control. I have reflexology about once every two weeks (sometimes more often), and the lady is a really lovely former nuse who has had her own fertility problems (and has adopted 3 children). She is lovely to talk to, it's more like therapy when I go! At least I feel like I'm doing something good for myself.

Re: GPs being insensitive...I had one who'd never met me or looked at my records...she said something to the effect of 'obviously you like your food' and I had to explain that my PCOS makes it very difficult for me to lose weight no matter how little I eat! She shut up after admitting that I was right. She was a skinny bitch as well.

Loobey, glad to hear the family is aware of what you're going through and trying to be sensitive, even if they don't quite get it.

Pinkmook, your colleague who thinks everyone should 'suck it up' sounds like either she's completely forgotten what it was like (as now she's succeeded), or she's just bloody insensitive, or both. I agree with ontheup, why should she dictate how everyone else should behave? I might be handling the MC better than some, but I'm certainly not going to demand they behave the same way! Everyone's situation is different and we react differently. She should shut the hell up and stop judging how people grieve.

Petulant, I am completely dreading the SIL's baby. Well, not so much the baby, but seeing SIL's smug stupid face. I think I'm going to bring a flask of whisky, play my own drinking game, and take a big swig every time she says 'FIRST grandchild' or anything that remotely pisses me off. She went into labour two nights ago, a month early. Now they think she had kind of infection which brought labour on, but it's stopped now. Stupid cow is probably loving the drama of being in hospital and being centre of attention--she's completely like that (only 21). I don't know how I'm going to face it. They must know by now we're avoiding them as we haven't been down to London in months.

It's much easier to deal with my pregnant friend at my old job. Just talking to her over facebook, but that's been okay. The difference is, in my twisted little mind, she deserves to be pregnant and SIL does NOT.

GtG, glad you've patched up with your friend.

PicknMix, I have a friend who's offered to be a surrogate for me if I should ever need it. Perhaps it's the manner in which the offer is delivered, but with my friend I did feel like she genuinely meant it not as a comment on her own fertility, but just that she knew how much I wanted a baby and she would do anything she could to help me get that. Perhaps SIL's offer wasn't as genuine and that's what you're reacting to? I've told my friend I don't think it will come to that, but I really appreciate that she wants to help and understands how much this means to me. Also her last pregnancy was really rough--she was hospitalised three times for hyperemesis. So her saying that she'd do that for me means a lot.

Pinkie, I deal with the 'relax' speech one of two ways. Usually I ignore it. Alternatively, I give them a detailed explanation of PCOS, my menstrual cycle and how relaxing won't help fecking anything because I never have the slightest clue when/if I might ovulate, and we can't have sex every other day for weeks on end, we're not teenagers, and if sperm is not there to meet egg, all the relaxing in the bloody world does NOTHING! That usually stops the 'relax' speech.

Whew, that was a long one! Seeing the consultant on Monday to see if he knows why the MC happened and what we should be doing to prevent it happening again (assuming I even will get pregnant again).

Hi to all,

Well AF officially disappeared yesterday giving me false hope that it was just a show - back with a vengenance this morning so clomid starts tomorrow. Am going to take it during the day this cycle maybe taking at night (as did last cycle) messes up the timings.

Had a really good cry this morning and feel alot better just dreading the side effects.

pinkspook i was doing opks and not getting results and started reflexology and started getting positive results on opks but wasnt feeling anything and usually do. Consultant said possibly the reflex was triggering something but not enough to actually ovualte so suggested clomid.

Not sure whether to use opks with the clomid this cycle as didnt last month any suggestions anyone. some say they dont work and others say they do HELPPPPP

LOve and baby dust to all

Hello can i join in please.

God how refreshing to hear that i am not the only one with a Green eyed monster.
I am also a pregnant woman magnet cannot get away from it, feel like if you know me then you are bound to get PG.
My sister is PG although had 2 mc before this one so felt for her but she still fell within the year i've been trying for 4 and half years.
another friend is pG and she tried for 2 years and was realy glad for her but finding that more and more i cant stand to be around her. saw her yesterday and she was flashing her scan pics about and i wanted to slap her.
Then my closest friend is PG after one month of trying and having sex once, she has DD of 2 and has had 2 abortions in the past and i think why her? she didnt want 2 babies why should she have any more. How bitter is that. and then shes trying to tell me to relax and i want to hit her too.

I do have a DD who is nearly 7 and i love her to bits obviously but so desperate for another and for her not to be an only child.
I just ahte PG women whenever me and DH go anywhere i'm like see there all over the place and they hunt me down just to make me feel bad. Ha ha paraniod now to.
So sorry for everyones losses on here i have also had 2 mc whilst TTC but nothing for nearly 3 years and i know how devasting it is.

Baby dust to all.

Just hopping on here for a quick "Raaaaah!!!" before the weekend.

We're going to be spending the weekend with DH's best friend/ best man and his wife. They're both lovely and have been very loyal and supportive friends for a long time. They know that we've been ttc for a year.

But they have a 9 month old daughter, conceived last year after only 6 months. And my AF is due tonight or tomorrow. I just know that I will be suffering dreadful period pains at exactly the moment when someone says or does something (unintentionally) to remind me of the fact that they've been successful and we haven't.

What makes it worse is that she's a Gwyneth Paltrow lookalike with a fabulously successful career, and - although I really do like her - she can never QUITE avoid pointing out how brilliant her life is.

It almost wouldn't be so bad if they were my friends, rather than DH's. But he has been best friends with this guy since they were 13, and he keeps hearing how much he's enjoying being a dad, and there's the unspoken thing that he wishes his best mate could share the experience. I actually get more upset when I think about DH missing out on being a dad, than me missing out on being a mum, and seeing his best mate with their daughter is very hard.

I am practising my most dazzling smile and have made sure that my very best outfit is ready to wear tomorrow. I will get through it but it'll be very hard.

Posting this here because I know you'll all understand. Thanks for being here.

Evening ladies. I'm so pleased this thread is plodding along without disappearing - I like the way we all pop in and rant and catch up.

Sarah76 - were you born in 76? Was a great year! I was born in the height of the heatwave.
You must have had your mc around the same time as me. My temp has gone up over the last few days so hopefully that means I've ovulated and af will arrive soon and I can start trying again.

pinkie fingers crossed for you. I don't know much about clomid but I hope it works for you this cycle - I gather it's supposed to help you ovulate?

Ray welcome - sounds like you're surrounded by some insensitive people. Unfortunately pregnancy does that to some people. Sorry you've been trying so long - does your daughter ask questions?

Treats giving you a non-mn ((((hug)))). Be strong this weekend - she sounds like a nightmare. It's a pain having friends like her - who seem perfect. Try to remember that she's not. Hopefully she'll be tactful.

I'm feeling ok about everything. I'm just not talking about babies / pregnancy to anyone - that's the best way for me to deal with it.

hi gordon,

I think you are right i am surrounded by insensitive people that think they know everything. I feel very depressed today and just want to sleep, i'm also on clomid so i think it may be that is causing it.

DD doesnt realy ask anything although we try to tell her as much as we can and she knows we want another baby. She would love to have a brother or sister and i feel like a real failure not being able to have one.
People keep telling me that here are people out there that have been trying for years and then forget about it and fall Pg, i know they are trying to help but it doesnt.
Just seen my bro nd hes just got a girl pg without even trying on a one night stand FFS. i hate life at the moment i realy do.
why everyone else and not me!!!

whats your situation gordon

Oh ray I'm so sorry you're having such a bad time. I've had the "relax and it will happen to you" line many many times - it really doesn't help does it??

My situation is nowhere near as bad as most of the ladies on here - this thread has definitely helped me put things into perspective!

I had ds 2 and a half years ago. I got the depo shot for contraception which was a big mistake as it took me almost a year of coming off it to get periods again - and another 6 months to start ovulating!

Had a missed MC in May this year then an early MC three weeks ago.

I started this thread because I currently have 8 friends who are all pregnant with their second babies, one with her third, and it's doing my head in!!

hi Gordon,

You poor thing, i had 2 mc 6 months apart too and it was so so hard i realy feel for you.

How long did it take for you to fall with ds?
i must admit i have dd and i was one of those smug people who wasnt even trying and it was such a shock to me perhaps this is payback for me !!!

8 friends that must be awful, i do completely understand and know how you feel its just so hard to be happy for people when you so want it yourself.

well af still hasnt arrived i'm not due til tues but was hoping would come early, now i have tested and know it was Bfn just want to get on with next month. Sods law though that whrn you want something it never happens typical realy.!!!

Hi everyone - I havent had internet access for aaaages now so am catching up - so many posts! Glad to be amoung like minded ladies - we waved off a colleague on Friday who's baby is due when mine would have been. Happy for her but glad she's gone - no more bumps and constant reminders of what could have been. Ive got no battery left so havve to go but let's hope for sticky beans for all of us....

Hi everyone. Just to say that my weekend was fine. Our friends were lovely, and their DD was in turns lovely and a bit of a nightmare which reminded me that being new parents is hard too and I shouldn't feel too envious of them. AF arrived with a vengeance on Saturday morning, but apart from a few cramps in the early morning, didn't bother me too much.

I couldn't help having a few tears after they left, but apart from that I did genuinely have a good weekend, so it wasn't too bad.

Depressed about being at the start of my 12th ttc cycle though.........

Hi treats, sorry to hear Af arrived as you thought it would but glad you had a nice weekend. I'm the same as you and try to remember when with friends with DC that they can be a nitemare and at least i have more time to prepare for it. Although it only helps sometimes.

On the brightside it takes the average couple a year to concieve so this could be your month. Are you going to see the doc if nothing this month???
Still waiting for Af to arrive myself should be tomorrow hopeing against hope that it wont come but know that it will. My body is too bloody predictable. I get v sore bb and then day before AF bbs arent sore any more, woke up this morn and no sore bb just felt normal which is weird for me. Still no period pains at the mo just that dull ache and a few sharp pains in my left side. Just keep trying to remember that am on clomid and can do funny things to the body. I have the headaches and abit of the depression which i must say is not good. Bless me. Now have pain in my right side, realy would love to know what is going on with my body.

Baby dust to you treats i realy hope it works for you this month.

Hi so i am a little late on this, i can totally relate to what you are saying and going through, i am just new to this site and was recommended it by members on yahoo. I have just suffered my 3rd m/c this year, i currently don't have any children so now im thinking is there something wrong with me, will i ever have a child to call my own. 1st M/C was i had just come off birth control, got pregnant in the first month of trying only to m/c at 5wks, natural m/c - blighted ovumn, i then fell pregnant again straight away with no period in between, had an early scan at 6wks 5days, saw and heard the heartbeat, went back for a scan at 12wks to be told it only measured 8wks and no longer a heartbeat, i was devastated, d&c required - missed m/c. The third more recent was a chemical pregnancy at approx 5wks. I have just had tests done to see if there are any underlying issues. 3 back so far, bloodclotting, rubella and one to check for antibodies, all normal, still awaiting results of 4 more. I am absolutely terrified there is goin to be somthing wrong, I am 26 years of age. Everywhere i go i seem to see pregnant women or people pushing newborn babies about and i am just finding it so hard at the min so my heart genuinely goes out to everyone TTC

Hi ray81 - thanks so much for your message and your baby dust. DH and I actually went to see the GP for the first time a few weeks ago; I've been referred to a hostpital gynae and am just waiting (impatiently!) for news of my appointment. DH dropped off his sample for testing yesterday........

Fingers crossed for no AF for you - but I know what you mean about the predictable signs. I have a similar thing with the bbs just before AF, although there's always a sprinking of other symptoms that I'll swear I've never had before to keep me hanging on thinking I could be pg, until she actually arrives. And even then, I'm thinking "Implantation bleed??? ".

Good that you're on Clomid though - at least things are moving forward. I mean good in that sense. Depression and headaches obviously bad. I find that watching DVDs of fave TV shows or films is best for a small bout of depression - mostly because it's distracting rather than actually relieving it.

Noleeen - I'm very very sorry to hear of your m/cs. I've not had the same experience myself, but there are plenty of people on this forum who have and who can offer you some sensible advice and even, I hope, some people who've had your experience and then gone on to successfully carry a baby to term. I know it's hard, but don't give up!!

noleen, im sorryabout your mcs, its very hard i know. have you spoken to your cons about baby asprin yet?

I have been to my gp who organised the blood tests and as yet i am still waiting on 4 results back, i am hoping they will have them when i phone this afternoon as this waiting is driving me insane. Im guessing that once those results come back and if they are normal they will refer me on for further investigations, well if they don't i will be asking them to anyhow. I have heard many people talk about this baby asprin and how they have taken it when they find out they are pregnant and have gone on to have successful pregnancies. At present i am just holding off waiting for the results.

very sensible, i was told that they cant explain my mc's and tbh that hurts more than if i knew there was something wrong!

Part of me would like an answer to it and if there is an underlying issue then i would hope i could get treatment for it but in another way i am terrified of finding out its something thats untreatable if this makes sense. I know i am lucky in the sense that i can get pregnant really easily BUT if only i could manage to hold onto them

Noleen - but they may be able to help and there may be an explanation.

I've been told that there is no explanation for mine - and that there is nothing underlying that is potentially a factor - which is reassuring.

The staff I've met at the rcmc unit are really lovely.

Hi, i know if they do find something that they may be able to help, its just so hard to know how to feel. I am just 26 and terrified of finding out i may never have children. I am just so anxious at the minute as i have been waiting on these blood results for almost 3wks now and i just want answers one way or the other. If these are normal then i will be referred on to have further investigations, i guess i just never thought i would ever be going through this, i hoped for an easy ride, i guess everything happens for a reason, its just finding out what that reason is

Hi treats, Af ariived this morn with a vengance, hurts like heel great.

To say i want to cry is an understatment.

Shit have to get dd too school i'll be on again later.

Hi everyone

Needed to pop in as feel really rubbish today, yesterday found out that three more people I know are pregnant! Two of them only married in the summer and fell pg straight away. God I feel like such a failure at the moment. We have no couple friends who aren't pg or have just had baby. Feel very alone

This month I'm trying everything; Acu, agnus castus, evening primrose oil and ovulation sticks!!! Really feel like chucking it all in and forgeting about it. Although I know that would only last a few weeks and I'd start thinking about it again. I have a great relationship, family and friends so why is my body so disatisified with everything??? I keep trying to work out if this is happening for a reason what is it? I think three years of trying is enough now, please!

I never wanted to become one of these people who were slightly obsessed with pg but have unwittingly become one!!!

Mistlethrush I know how you feel my infertility is unexplained. Didn't want to have something wrong, but at least there might be treatment I could have. Feel completely out of control with it.

Noleen Good luck with your tests, I know what it's like having to wait. I was relieved when mine came back as normal.

Ray81 sorry bloody AF has come I know this is the worse time, hopefully next cycle!

Could someone chuck some baby dust over here for us all please **

Poppy75 - I am so sorry for what you are going through, 3yrs may seem like a long time BUT i have been reading on various sites about couples who never got pregnant for about 10yrs, even one i read was 12yrs, i know perhaps this isn't very comforting but please just do not give up hope. I myself have been very fortunate in the sense that i only started tryn early this year, all 3 times i have been pregnant i conceived within the 1st month of trying, however i am having problems holding onto a pregnancy so although i am fortunate in one way that i can get pregnant relatively easily but i feel like such a failure everytime i loose that pregnancy. Like many people on these sites i just long to have a baby to call my own, to actually get as far as to have a baby bump, i did everything by the book all 3 times and still this happened. I am not trying again for at least 6 months now BUT i am merely saying just have faith, when the time is right it will happen and i just know you will make a fantastic mother, i know it is so much easier said than done but try to relax yourself, de-stress and enjoy the TTC process.