Thread for those fed up of pregnant friends... actually pregnant women everywhere... while they themselves have been TTC for ages or keep having miscarriages.

[GordonTheGopher]

I know it's not very PC. But I can't help but be really jealous. Just this morning I got an email off another friend telling me she's pregnant - first month of trying.

That makes 6 friends who are pregnant. I have been TTC no 2 for two years. I had a MMC last May and an early MC last week.

I do try and be happy for them. But in reality I'm not.

Am I normal? Anyone care to join me?

My doctor phoned me there, said all the tests were back normal and that they are just putting it down to bad luck and that my womb just hadn't prepared itself properly after each m/c

There was a prog on Radio 4 last week that discussed recurrent mcs and they said that if you are investigated and no casue found statisitcally you have a better chance of conceiving...not much comfort but a little ray of sunshine perhaps. Am taking mutivits w Evening Primrose Oil and Starflower Oils and definately feel better in myself. What does Agnus Castus do??

Green eyed monster - count me in!

2 days ago I held my friend's gorgeous 2nd baby, thinking this will be me in May-June, today I've had ERPC following suspected Molar preg. I've really wanted to TTC since DD was 1-1.5 yr old (she's 2.5 now). Husband said no. In March we took a risk while I was on antibiotics (both knew this), April I did 5 tests and thought all would be BFP due to nausea, wasn't, I couldn't talk to him I felt so irrational. So we've had major probs, he left for a few weeks. We got back together and all great/ok (as it had been for 9 yrs beforehand). Last week I found out I was pregnant, and was delighted, after 2 days dh seemed to come round to idea, and now it's gone

Since March, I've congratulated 6 people who now have or will shortly have number dc2, 2 others are trying (with supportive dh's), 1 couple are discussing it . People at work say 'are you going to have more'? As if it's so easy. Yes, I know I should work at relationship for dd, dh and for my sake, but after irregular bleeding for many months I thought this was a miracle. I feel gutted. I realy don't want to hear anyone else talk about their favourite names, gender preference, mild symtoms, baby shops. I even find talk of TTC hard as dh doesn't talk, but is happy to try withdrawel (so I say lets plan as better than accident!). However, I also don't want to avoid my friends think I'll be honest about experience, but not sure how they'll be around me, if I should say or not (they know I've had probs, but not how much I want dc2, how long, or abour ERPC).

I know many have had worse experiences, and I hope things get better (whichever way that means) for you. Thnik I'm still on adrenaline from day, so I'm posting on lots of threads to get this out of my system, even for a bit, sorry so long...

Lilacpink - So sorry for your recent loss and your relationship problems. I have been with my dp for just over 6yrs now , well i was until we broke-up last week due to constant rows over the last few months. I know people say things will get easier through time but at present it is so hard, its as if no-one understands what you are going through. Maybe in time me and my dp will work things out but at the minute i just feel as though i am having to cope with everything ive went through in the last few months on my own. I am so glad i have come across a site like this were you are free to express yourself without others passing judgement. I wish you all the best of luck in the future both in your replationship and TTC

www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/science/am_i_normal.shtml

Link to the Radio Programme is above if anyone is interested

Great link, thanks

Hi Noleen

I had 3 mcs in my previous marriage that they couldnt find reason for. I went on to have a dd who is now 8. That pg went without a hitch,no sickness and an easy labour. Hang in there it will happen.

I am now ttc#2 and am on clomid as dont ovulate properly and have just read something called sperm meets egg plan. It might be worth a try to all those on the thread

Lots of baby dust to you

pinkie08 - Thanks, you have gave me a bit of hope

Nolee,

whats the sperm meets egg plan???

Excuse me?????

Ok officially going nuts it wasnt you. so sorry!!! thats what TTC does to you.

Lets ask Pinkie??? Perhaps as she wrote it she will know what it means.
Whats the sperm meets egg plan????

Hi Everyone

Been a while since I've been here. Hope everyone is well.

ontheup AC is a herb that's meant to balance your hormones

We've just had the results of DH's SA - his count and motility were fine, but his morphology is 6%. We've been trying since January, got pregnant on first shot and miscarried in March. Have had no luck in the 7 months since (6 of which we've been TTC) and I've seen my GP. Although they don't normally do testing for someone who has been trying for under a year, she agreed to do a progesterone test a few months ago because I've got a bit of a wacky cycle with a relatively short LP and lots of spotting. Progesterone was normal, she's just done CD3 testing on me on Tuesday, so should have the results next week.

Does anyone know what the next step would be? Would the NHS consider IUI for a couple that have not been trying for over a year? Does anyone know what the waiting times would be? Or does that entirely depend on your area?

I'm sitting here waiting for a call from my mother as my SIL was induced thsi morning - and my other SIL is going in next Wednesday. The due date for our baby was a week ago Friday

LASTBOXOFTAMPONS Im so sorry for what you are going through, in a ll honesty i know this probably won't be very comforting at the minute but 7 months really isn't that long, a lot of people say it takes about a year to conceive when trying. Like you i fell pregnant 1st month of trying only to naturally m/c at 5wks, blighted ovumn, i then fell pregnant straight away again after this with no period in between only to have a missed m/c at 12wks, i was devastated. I then went on to suffer my 3rd m/c this year about 4wks ago. Just received blood tests back, all of whcih were normal. My doctor has just put it down to bad luck and that my womb hadn't fully repaired after each m/c. As i said earlier 7 months really isn't that long, but i guess in reality even 1 month is long. Its so hard when everyone around you seems to be falling pregnant or having babies and you often wonder 'why not me', well in time hopefully it will happen for us as well and perhaps now just isn't the time. I wish you all the luck in the world TTC

I meant in reality one month is long to you when your TTC, typing error sorry

thanks Lottie and Noleen

Lottie You are not being negative! Please don't think that you are. I know we're not actually at the IUI stage yet anyway - I'm really just doing a bit of research and looking for info. It really helps that our situations are so similar and that we live so close to one another! I suspected that it would probably be the case that our PCT would not consider assisted conception if we weren't trying for at least a year - good to have the confirmation. And, I can't lie about how long we've been trying - the GP already knows! would be hard to lie anyway because the mc is on all of my records and from what I understand your TTC time frame resets itself after an mc and you're back to square one! That said, we don't even have my CD3 results back yet, so we'll need to see what they say before considering anything at all anyway. Thanks for all the info - as always, you're a wealth of information, support and inspiration! {{hugs}}

Noleeen so sorry to hear about your mcs sucks, doesn't it? Yes, I know 7 months isn't really that long - well, it is when you've had month after month of no luck! but I understand the medical parameters. However, I do think it's worth it to have some testing done in the interim, especially since my cycle is not 'normal' and I'm just trying to figure out if we're likely to be treated on discovery of what might be a fertility issue or if we'll have to wait the prescribed amount of time. I like to have a plan LOL and if we need to wait 5 months or whatever before the NHS will consider treating us, that's okay - but I just want to start thinking about how we'll use that time. It might be that we just take a TTC break for a while, or we might try some supplements/lifestyle changes etc. I'm just trying to figure out what we're in for. I know I sound like a bit of a nutter, but it just doesn't make sense to me to waste any more time if there's something productive (er, no pun intended! ) we can do in the meantime. Cue the "if you relax it will happen" commentary!

Hello all, new here, so nice to read a thread that articulated what I've been feeling but also helped me put things in perspective. So many people in here have had such sad losses and multiple miscarriage over years, can't image how strong you must be to get through that.

DH and I have been trying for less than a year, feels like ages though, the dreaded TWW each month while so many friends and family have got pg in the interim. DH's bro has just announced they're expecting their first; they are genuinely lovely and am happy for them but also jealous.

As background, the reason I am already fed up is because I am 33 with type 1 diabetes and have also had extensive bowel surgery for Crohn's disease, both of which can significantly reduce fertility. My cycle seems to be jumping around for fun at the moment, just to get my hopes up, though don't know if it's just because I want it so much.

Anyway, I know I am in a better position than most of the people who have contributed to this thread as have no confirmed problems so reading this has actually made me stop feeling sorry for myself. Good luck and baby dust to everyone xx

Hi Ray

If you google sperm meets egg plan you get to a website that has a great (at least i think it is) itinery for getting that BFP am going to follow it properly as anything is worth a shot.

Hope that helps

Lots of baby dust to you

Noleeen, I'm so sorry to hear that you have had relationship problems too. I think wanting a baby sets hormones into overdrive, is hard to think of anything else, everyone else seems happier and to be having babies easily.

This morning (bearing in mind I didn't sleep at all last night after ERPC in evening) I completely let rip with DH for things he said when he was stressed when I first said I was pregnant. He made dc 2 with me, but then blamed me, said it would be harder if we later split, that I had trapped him in marriage. Thing is he said that while stressed, then thought for a few hrs and was calmer, and after 2 days I saw him looking at dd (and photos of her as baby) and was ok. He was great yesterday in supporting me at hospital, kept saying he wanted me well, and went and got me fish and chips when we got home as I had wanted to stuff my face on takeaway and choc since I heard the news (I'm not normally a big eater, but do when stressed!). So he was hurt when I threw everything in his face. I can see this happening again, i.e. us taking stress out on each other. I hope we get through it, and grow stronger, and hope your relationship can be healed too (if you want it to).

Lilacpink These things do put a lot of strain on relationships, we had a heart to heart last night and he opened up a bit, he did state that every time I talk about it I say 'my baby' whereas he was like it was 'our baby' which is true so maybe I was being a bit inconsiderate there, not meaning to be of course. He says he's hurting by it all as well and his best mates wife is expecting and all he ever talks about is the baby and he says it just really gets to him... I think we will work things out but just need a wee bit of space to gather our thoughts and think about what we want, we have both being through so much this year. I think its just men, some men are so considerate and thoughtful and then others (like my own) are just 'men?s men', which isn't always great. I hope you be feeling better soon, you have been through a tough time of it. My period arrived just on time today so I?m hoping this is my body starting to get regulate again, i always had a 28day cycle.

Notorious Welcome, as you had stated less than a year isn't medically seen as being that long BUT when you are TTC even one month is an absolute eternity. I have got pregnant relatively quick with all 3 pregnancies but m/c all 3 so although I am fortunate in the sense I can get pregnant quickly it is unfortunate that I can't hold the pregnancy. Hopefully in a couple more months or sooner you will get that BFP. I wish you all the best of luck in TTC

Hi Pinkie,

Googled it and got all the info. I am definatley doing it this month.
I so hope it works. Am on CD3 at the mo so abit of time to go but heres hoping.

Goodluck to you.

I feel like a complete shit. A relative has had a baby recently and I have to go and see it. I decided to grab the bull by the horns and say I would go but now I am scared. I have to accept that other people have babies and I have to get over the upset I feel but today I have had a complete meltdown about the visit. I don't want my first visit to be them coming down to see me as that would mean a family get together and I would hate that as I don't need people looking at me with pity and I had a crap enough time in those circumstances when the pregnancy was announced. I am ready to call it off, I feel like I will never be ready to do the whole gushing over the baby thing until I am successful myself. I know I am being completely stupid.

I feel like such an evil b*h right now. This is going to sound so horrible but 2 of my relatives have given birth this week (within a day of eachother) and after 4 successive miscarriages I'm finding it hard to stomach. For the past 3 days if I've not been crying I've found myself constantly on the verge of crying and poor dh has been bearing the brunt of all my frustration. I'll have to see them next week too and if I'm completely honest I don't want to. I consider myself so lucky to have dd (9) and I know that some people will be thinking that perhaps I have no right to feel like this when at least I have her but believe me it still hurts like hell. Felt as though I was dealing with things okay but this week I feel like this has put me 10 steps back. Does any of this make sense?

Sorry first part of post disappeared when I posted. It said something like stupidity IKWYM. I'm finding myself in a similar situation to you at the moment and I really feel for anyone else going through this. I don't think it is uncommon or unreasonable.

Makes sense to me.

Pesonally I do't want to spend time visiting even the closest of relatives to see other people coo over their babies. Maybe that does make me a mean person but I am about to get my period which is just another sign that I am incapable of getting pregnant. I have only one alternative and that's to wait for some family gathering which I imagine will be worse for me and I would refuse to go so I have to force myself to make a visit and grin and bare it even though I know I will probably have to go off and cry somewhere. The only other thing suggested is that they come to see me but to be honest even that would make me feel awful.