Thread for those fed up of pregnant friends... actually pregnant women everywhere... while they themselves have been TTC for ages or keep having miscarriages.

[GordonTheGopher]

I know it's not very PC. But I can't help but be really jealous. Just this morning I got an email off another friend telling me she's pregnant - first month of trying.

That makes 6 friends who are pregnant. I have been TTC no 2 for two years. I had a MMC last May and an early MC last week.

I do try and be happy for them. But in reality I'm not.

Am I normal? Anyone care to join me?

Stupidity & worrybum I can understand 100% how you are feeling, however i do think it would probably be best if you got it over with sooner rather than later rather than pro-long the enivitable. I have just suffered my 3rd m/c and have no children to date, i get so upset when i hear of friends expecting or having just had babies, however as hard as what this is i try my best to put on a brave face in front of them and if i feel i need to cry then i excuse myself and go and have a cry to myself. However, only you know what you can cope with at this present moment in time and if you feel its too soon them im sure everyone will understand.

Stupidity and worrybum {{{{hugs}}}} for you both!

One of my SIL's had a baby yesterday and the other one is to be induced on Wednesday so I really do know how you feel.

stupidity and worrybum - does it not make it easier to know it's not 'your' baby these ladies have had...?

To be honest I get jealous of other people being pregnant more than I envy them their babies..i don't want their babies...

(I do have 3 dds - but I have had 6 mcs and an ectopic which involved tube removal in emergency surgery)
I have just found out I am pregnant again - but i can't really celebrate until i get past 7-8 weeks as that is my danger point.

best of luck ladies!!!

dropdeadfred - Congrats, hope everything works out for you this time.

Thanks Noleeen- Best of luck to you too, I know you have had a sad time of it...

Dropdeadfred - It's not the baby I am jealous of. The baby in question a sibling's child and I feel very worried about how I am going to behave and what emotions I will experience holding my mother's first grandchild in my arms when I have been trying unsuccessfully for over a year and some people found it so easy to get pregnant.

I know these feelings are wrong but I can't help it. Other friends of mine have babies and it doesn't effect me as much, several people in work are pregnant and I really couldn't care less. It is this particular situation, it being a close family thing, that is upsetting me. Mostly because those close family members know I am trying and know I have been unsuccessful. I am supposed to be overjoyed at being an aunt but unfortunately I am so obsessed by my own failure that I find it very hard to deal with all this, particularly when I know I am being watched and my reaction is being noted.

I named myself stupidity because I know it is stupid. I have tried and tried to be cool about it but the fact that I will probably have my period when I do see them is making this worse for me. I also had my period when the baby was born and when the pregnancy was announced. It's a reminder I would rather do without.

Stupidity - I'm sorry - I kow it's hard..I really do. (And I know you will think I don't as I hvae children, and I do agree it's proably harder for you in some ways).

Have you been told you have specific problems with fertility? Have you had treatment?

For what it's worth in my experience the love that a grandmother has for her grandchildren is ever expanding to cover the amount of grandchildren she has...your mum will love yours especially as she will know how special and wanted he/she was.

Best of luck

Thanks

It's not really the grandmother thing at all, it's not like it's a competition. I just feel left behind and I feel quite upset quite a lot of the time that it's not looking good for us. We are waiting to see the fertility unit at the hospital but I have a few months. Apart from that it's probably just my age. There are no other diagnosed problems. It's just that I have been trying for more than a year and in that year I have had to deal with the conception, gestation, birth etc of a child in my family. At first people were all 'oh it will happen soon' and 'won't it be nice for your baby to be so close in age to their baby' and stuff like that. As time has gone on the prospect of me having a child seems more and more unlikely.

I am going to have to get a grip - I just wish I could fast forward a few years to the menopause so that I can actually just give up hope all together.

do you have sex according to your cycle etc?

after a mc in 2007 it took me over a year to get pg again...i saw the doc but they just said there was nothing they could do as it was obvious i could get pg..eventually i pushed them for the 21 day tests - these were normal

i then fell pg and it was an ectopic..
but i have got pg 4 months later and it was by disregarding all our 'important days' and just having loads of sex all month
Apologies if you have tried this recently, but sometimes even pretending that you are not ttc can help.

I have a CB fertility monitor and we have a lot of sex. I have tried to give up but it's pretty impossible. Maybe it will happen when I least expect it - though I have been thinking that all year.

thanks for taking the time to talk to me. I'll be ok. I do just need to get a grip.

i have a CB monitor too - to be honest the last two times I got pg was when i refused to look at the thing as it still said the amount of days from my mc!! I never reset it so just went with natural instincts...probably has sex more as we are newlyweds (after 12 yrs together).

Hi stupidity, Welcome.

I completely understand how you feel, i realy do. Have been TTC for 4 and half years (well closer to 5 now) but whos counting. In that time my sis has had 3 DC and my other is is currently 25 weeks. Ive hardly seen her since found out shes Pg and feel like such a bitch but realy cant cope with it. I have 2 other sisters and a brother. My brother has just got a girl pg on a one night stand and hes 30 so should know better and my other sisters are 16 and 8. i'm beginning to get the feeling they will have children before i do!!!!
You must think im pretty young but im nearly 28 so not getting younger and recently read that fertility decreases from 27 Oh joy of joys.
You are not being a bitch in any way and its understandable that you would feel jealous its natural to feel that way. Perhaps if you called the person it involves and explained perhaps they would understand and be happy to see you on your own with no one else around that way you wont feel under so much pressure. When my friend had her little girl 2 years ago i was so jealous and put off seeing her for ages and when i finaly did she was a mess and needed so much help and advise that i forgot about me for a while. It will never ne as bad as you imagine realy it wont.
I have just started my second month of clomid was very unahappy when the first month failed but am going to try the sperm meets egg plan this month, if you google it and read up on it you may want to try. I dont know about you but it helps me to have a plan in place i dont feel so useless then.

Drop deadfred hi, am in similar situation to you. how long have you been trying? My dd is 7 and i know exactly how you feel to.

Hi Ray

Really sorry AF Arrived on you was realing routing for you.

What did you think of the sperm meets egg plan. We did say we were going to start from day 8 anyway but it seems to have abit more science to it.

Have you started your tablets yet. I didnt seem as tired this month but very hot - acupuncturist seems to have rebalanced that for me and am going again next weds (day13) so hope that helps too.

Dropdeadfred since i started the clomid i have stopped using the CBFM as it not so accurate but this month am going to use the CB OPKs as felt not enough info just guessing.

Lots of baby dust to you

Permission to vent ladies.

Best friend who got pregnant first time trying by doing IVF has just had her 12-week scan. All fine.

I've had two 12-week scans at which my babies were dead. And various other miscarriages too. I just cannot bear the fact that it's come so easily to her. It's MY TURN, NOT YOURS.

I haven't been able to bear seeing her, and usually we'd meet up every other weekend or so. We're part of a close-knit group, and I do worry that the others will think I'm being a mean-spirited, jealous cow. But no-one else understands how I feel...

herbaceous they never understand fully but they do let you off for it.

I had a miscarriage when one of my best friend was 2 weeks ahead of me. she had a healthy ds which i just ignored and although looking back it was not nice of me everyone just let me get on with it.

Those that have suffered will understand you and those who havent well just ignore them

IT WILL happen for you you'll see

Hi guys, sorry I've not been on this thread for ages. Welcome to all new ranters!

AF arrived 3 days ago almost exactly 4 weeks after my mc, which is good - hopefully I'll get back to normal this cycle.

Met up with my postnatal group at the park. Every single one of them had either had their second baby or are currently pregnant. I held one of the babies which I shouldn't have done - I found it really hard, especially as the mum was complaining about how difficult it is having two... grr.

Baby dust to all.

Hi pinkie,

I have looked att he sperm meets egg plan and think it sounds realy good so me an DH talked about it and agreed to try it this month.

Am on CD6 now so will take last clomid tonight, according to the science i should Ov about 7 days after last tab but last month i didnt i Ov on CD17 so some 10 days after. Its always the same with me i never do whats expected he he.
I have worked out that although Af isnt regular from First day is def regular from when i OV. my Af arrives exactly 17 days after Ov so at least that will help me know when to expect it.

Where are you now? At the trying stage. Good luck hon i realy hope it works for you this month.

Lots of baby dust to you

Hi ray
feels like not caught up with you in ages.

Am cd11 today and decided to start the sperm meets egg plan from day 6 so get the night off tonight (phew) -ive result today on my OPK but its abit early.

My DH was also quite amenable to the plan which really helps.

Had bit of spotting today but consultant said can happen and not to worry - gone now. weird huh

Acupuncture on weds which am really looking forward to

Lots of Baby dust to you

I have only posted briefly here before, but find this thread really helpful as I thought I was wrong to feel jeolous, but reading other threads realise it's natural! It still doesn't make me feel any better for avoiding a good friend who has just had her second dd. I held her dd knowing I was pregnant, a week later (after ERCP: 8week missed miscarriage) I couldn't go near them during toddler group. Tomorrow I'll see another toddler group friend who is halfway through her 2nd preg. She may go through baby names again, or worse still moan that she still has 18 weeks to go or that she'll have increased childcare costs with 2 dcs (conversations I've tried to get out of before, and she knows I've wanted another one for a year). Worse thing is I know I did moan when I was pregnant with dd (sickness/migraine/water-retention/low blood pressure): I didn't know how easy I had it then!

I'm really sorry for anyone going through this who is TTC dc1. I see babies all around at the moment, but personally find seeing 2dcs (with around a 3yr gap or less)harder. I don't want the other peoples' babies, but seeing other people achieving two, seemingly easily, is hard! Then I feel bad for feeling this way when I do have 1 (and yes, I'm posting at 2am as my head is about to explode with the 'why,why,why' stress that is still hitting me following losing dc2, so sorry if this reads badly).

Noreeen - I forget to say, I'm with you on the 'men's men' thing, my dh is the same, he wants to be there, but can 'clam-up' or try to say a solution, which doesn't help emotionally. I think it was really lovely that your dp said it was important that you say 'our baby' though, so he felt some part of the pregnancy (my dh would be happy if pregnancy was completely with me, he join in after birth!). Sounds like things are getting there for you though. I'm hoping for a normal AF in a few weeks, but have irregular often 34 day cycles, so maybe not!

Hi pinkie,

You're right we havent caught up.

So its CD12 for you today? when you get -ive on OPKs it normally means OV with 24-36 hrs later which would put you today possibly tomoz. the clomid is meant to make you OV 6 days after last Tab so that would work out wouldnt it? The spotting is abit weird but hoping its a good sign for you.

I am on CD7 today and going to start tomorrow, the clomid is giving me these pounding headaches and i'm starting to think its going to have to be a morning BD but i get up at 5.30 as it is so will have to start at about 5. Going to have to speak to him about making it quick. He he

If it doesnt work this month for me i think am going to try the acupunture next month? do they just concentrate on the PG thing and relaxing ? i went to one before and although thats what i wanted he wanted to give me herbal things and start but getting my body in order think he was trying to get money out of me to be honest will have to find a new one in my area.

God i'm realy hoping it works for both of us this month i realy do. Lots and Lots of baby dust to you.

Morning ladies - how is evryone - we STILL dont have internet access so I am in Starbucks picking up work emails and thought I'd check in. Thanks re the AC LBOT think I'll give it a go and then acupuncture next week - same questions from me ray81 ... lots of luck to all those trying this month - I am on CD 21 but feel v premenstrual so not holding out great hopes...

No problem ontheup
Also wanted to add that I think I'm FINALLY seeing some changes from the AC. I've been taking it for about three months now. You read so many stories from people who took it for 3 weeks and BAM - pregnant! But all of the 'official' evidence suggest it needs to build up in your system for 3 months, yadda, yadda, yadda...and I've found that to be true. I feel at this point it's helped to lengthen my LP, but like I said, it did take a while.

Do you all feel particular venom for certain people and not others? Everyone around me is currently having babies - I feel little pangs of jealousy for some, if not all, of them. But I have a circle of emailing buddies from another website - there's one girl that I've never really cared for - she's just announced that she's pregnant and every time there's mention of 'Baby center says morning sickness starts next week' etc I just find myself uncontrollably angry. I just can't help it. I'm at the point now where I don't email them back, but I'm still on the distro and I can't seem to not look I know if I said take me off the list, they'd know why and I'd feel like such a whiny baby who can't cope. GRRRRRR I hate this!

HI Ray and ontheup

The acupuncturist i saw on CD1 helped relieve my headache caused by the AF (very usual sypmtom for me) and helped the AF arrive in normal manner.

Then saw different woman at the centre on CD6 she again lifted headache which i could feel as a sensation moving. She also worked on my lower back and bottom area.

Then she worked on my stomach and legs and feet. could def. feel sensations in my feet (meant to be the yin realigning for the overheating).

Am going again tomorrow which is CD13 and she said they work on blood supply to ovaries - to help eggs along and womb for helping implantation.

The reason am going is it def. helps with headaches which means no pills - bonus

it has always worked for my sinusitus so am a true believer in it

Lots of baby dust to you

HI Ray and ontheup

The acupuncturist i saw on CD1 helped relieve my headache caused by the AF (very usual sypmtom for me) and helped the AF arrive in normal manner.

Then saw different woman at the centre on CD6 she again lifted headache which i could feel as a sensation moving. She also worked on my lower back and bottom area.

Then she worked on my stomach and legs and feet. could def. feel sensations in my feet (meant to be the yin realigning for the overheating).

Am going again tomorrow which is CD13 and she said they work on blood supply to ovaries - to help eggs along and womb for helping implantation.

The reason am going is it def. helps with headaches which means no pills - bonus

it has always worked for my sinusitus so am a true believer in it

Lots of baby dust to you